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If someone had a crush on you...
- Thread starter xSuperMario64x
- Start date
Halloqueen
Senior Member
Sure, why not.
I feel like I'm on the asexual-spectrum but not entirely asexual, hard to describe, but suffice it to say that I'm content regardless of whether I end up with someone or not. I do like the idea of the companionship that would come with a relationship even if I don't feel that I need to ultimately be in one, so if someone was interested and if I like them well enough as a person that I thought it was worth pursuing then we might as well see where it leads.
And even if it was someone I couldn't see myself with for whatever reason, better for them to get it out there instead of stressing over trying to keep it a secret or whatnot. I'm pretty blunt and direct so I'd rather clear the air regardless. If they can accept it and still be friends then that's great, and if not then it's probably for the best that we didn't work out anyway.
I feel like I'm on the asexual-spectrum but not entirely asexual, hard to describe, but suffice it to say that I'm content regardless of whether I end up with someone or not. I do like the idea of the companionship that would come with a relationship even if I don't feel that I need to ultimately be in one, so if someone was interested and if I like them well enough as a person that I thought it was worth pursuing then we might as well see where it leads.
And even if it was someone I couldn't see myself with for whatever reason, better for them to get it out there instead of stressing over trying to keep it a secret or whatnot. I'm pretty blunt and direct so I'd rather clear the air regardless. If they can accept it and still be friends then that's great, and if not then it's probably for the best that we didn't work out anyway.
kokone kizuki
Crescent moon, coast is clear ⋆˙⟡
I’m pretty sure there are people at school who like me…. I kinda want them to tell me but I’m also really scared if they do because I’m pretty sure I’m AroAce and I’ve never had a crush on anyone before so I’d have to reject them… and I tend to be really blunt about this kinda stuff when I talk to my friends about their crushes so I’m kinda scared,,,
Oh heck yeah I would. I’ve never been in a true relationship, and would love to know if I meant anything to someone.
Alas, that lone opportunity only came during my high school years. These days, I don’t even get approached by anyone. I’m not even that ugly, aside from me gaining a few pounds from a poor diet. Watching those Hallmark movies that my mom watches doesn’t help matters, either.
Alas, that lone opportunity only came during my high school years. These days, I don’t even get approached by anyone. I’m not even that ugly, aside from me gaining a few pounds from a poor diet. Watching those Hallmark movies that my mom watches doesn’t help matters, either.
AshtonDraws
Ash
I'd honestly like to know. I am veeeeery oblivious, so I don't really see signs well.
Goldi Locks
Hot Porridge
I'd tell 'em to join the queue 
kokone kizuki
Crescent moon, coast is clear ⋆˙⟡
i had a conversation with my friend about this today
her: I want someone to say they like me so I can reject them hehe
me: I wouldn’t cause then I’d make them feel bad when I turn them down
her: Lissi (she said my real name but let’s use Lissi for now), say “there are many fish in the sea and youre not one of them”
me: …what if i dont want a fish (I’m questioning aroace)
her: …say that instead of finding a fish you want to cook one and eat it
me: that’s just weird
her: …I give up
her: I want someone to say they like me so I can reject them hehe
me: I wouldn’t cause then I’d make them feel bad when I turn them down
her: Lissi (she said my real name but let’s use Lissi for now), say “there are many fish in the sea and youre not one of them”
me: …what if i dont want a fish (I’m questioning aroace)
her: …say that instead of finding a fish you want to cook one and eat it
me: that’s just weird
her: …I give up
cornimer
grab acorns 'til you're delirious
Yes because I'd be open to going on a date with them and giving it a shot (unless it's someone I actively dislike of course). To my knowledge, nobody has had a crush on me since I was about 11, so honestly it would boost my confidence a bit to discover that someone liked me in this day and age lol.
Ya, even if I'm in a relationship I think. I feel like if I didn't know, it'd lead to a bad time for us in different ways. If I did know, we could talk through it or have it become something more :v I was recently the person telling someone I was interested. And they said, "We'll see what happens." Nothing did! But, it was nice to get it off my chest.
OswinOswald
Senior Member
I like that we’ve revived this thread, given that Valentine’s Day is around the corner…(oh, how I have such a love-hate relationship with this commercialization-of-love holiday!)
I too am nosy and would like to know!!
And I agree it’s kind of a confidence boost if someone tells you that they like you!
But it has been so interesting reading some of the responses in this thread that say otherwise!
I suppose there are times when I would not like to know, like if it would make an existing relationship awkward if I didn’t return the feelings, or if I felt like those feelings might intrude into a professional relationship, for example.
But in general I like to be open and know things, and then I think the real challenge is how do you deal with that information and how the two people involved decide to communicate about it or negotiate how it factors into their relationship. Because I could see so many ways of this playing out that wouldn’t necessarily be disastrous….
I could tell a girl friend how I have a big crush on her in a more platonic way, like how I really admire her for being a girl boss! And I think she’d appreciate that!
I could admit to a guy coworker friend that I sort of feel a connection to him because he’s always kind to me. But I might know he’s not interested in me or not available, so then the conversation just becomes about that acknowledgment and appreciation of the kindness and connection that we have.
I could let a crush I have on someone continue to grow and I could create a lovely romance fueled fantasy about someone….. or I could tell them early on and they could gently reject me before I let it spiral into some crazy fantasy where we have run away together to live on some deserted island in lovey dovey bliss (except I have a feeling I would hate being on an island and away from creature comforts like… 24/7 Starbucks and running water and internet lol)
Or, says the hopeless romantic part of me, maybe that brave soul who took a chance to risk their vulnerability and reveal their crush will end up being the love of my life!
Ooh, that was fun to speculate about
I too am nosy and would like to know!!
And I agree it’s kind of a confidence boost if someone tells you that they like you!
But it has been so interesting reading some of the responses in this thread that say otherwise!
I suppose there are times when I would not like to know, like if it would make an existing relationship awkward if I didn’t return the feelings, or if I felt like those feelings might intrude into a professional relationship, for example.
But in general I like to be open and know things, and then I think the real challenge is how do you deal with that information and how the two people involved decide to communicate about it or negotiate how it factors into their relationship. Because I could see so many ways of this playing out that wouldn’t necessarily be disastrous….
I could tell a girl friend how I have a big crush on her in a more platonic way, like how I really admire her for being a girl boss! And I think she’d appreciate that!
I could admit to a guy coworker friend that I sort of feel a connection to him because he’s always kind to me. But I might know he’s not interested in me or not available, so then the conversation just becomes about that acknowledgment and appreciation of the kindness and connection that we have.
I could let a crush I have on someone continue to grow and I could create a lovely romance fueled fantasy about someone….. or I could tell them early on and they could gently reject me before I let it spiral into some crazy fantasy where we have run away together to live on some deserted island in lovey dovey bliss (except I have a feeling I would hate being on an island and away from creature comforts like… 24/7 Starbucks and running water and internet lol)
Or, says the hopeless romantic part of me, maybe that brave soul who took a chance to risk their vulnerability and reveal their crush will end up being the love of my life!
Ooh, that was fun to speculate about
it depends on the circumstances for me and how close i am to them! i'm aro/ace, so regardless it'd end up with the other party being rejected, but that's either 1) they come to a close on their own, or 2) i have to let them down myself. it's usually a lot more comfortable if i don't know and they resolve it themselves, usually by finding out i'm aro/ace, but sometimes (especially with close friends) it's better for me to find out so i can give them proper closure on the matter.
on the other hand there have been times when i think someone likes me (but we aren't particularly close) and they just keep skirting it but won't actually say anything which can get sort of frustrating, especially when they don't get the hints that i'm not interested (￣┰￣*) it then becomes a dance of "i want them to confess so i can properly shut it down and we can go back to just being friends" but also "if i'm wrong in my assumption that'd be really awkward."
on the other hand there have been times when i think someone likes me (but we aren't particularly close) and they just keep skirting it but won't actually say anything which can get sort of frustrating, especially when they don't get the hints that i'm not interested (￣┰￣*) it then becomes a dance of "i want them to confess so i can properly shut it down and we can go back to just being friends" but also "if i'm wrong in my assumption that'd be really awkward."
I would never know, I'm so bad at getting signals, so unless they tell me themselves right away without beating around the bush they will be ignored forever.
Once they tell me I will most likely run away, it's just too much for me lol
When I tell people I'm not interested in relationships they don't believe me.
So it's better if I never know.
Once they tell me I will most likely run away, it's just too much for me lol
When I tell people I'm not interested in relationships they don't believe me.
So it's better if I never know.
PapaCrossing
Graham's Homie
I'd like to know, sure, but there are ways of telling.
There's a really grumpy lady from another radio station who often calls my work. She always sounds mad or whatever, but when she talks with me, she sounds a lot more cheery and helpful than to my other co-workers (they're afraid of her). I could take that as a hint.
I'd really, really like to know if my old college instructor liked me or not (I'm five years older than her). Once she was walking down the hall in the direction where I was going, and she turned around to see me, kept turning back to look at me, until she reached her office door. Another instructor got so chatty and nice with me, and once saw me in the parking lot and she ran towards me just to talk. No woman has *ever* ran to me like that.
There are other factors at play, of course, which is why I'd like to know for sure if they did like me or not.
There's a really grumpy lady from another radio station who often calls my work. She always sounds mad or whatever, but when she talks with me, she sounds a lot more cheery and helpful than to my other co-workers (they're afraid of her). I could take that as a hint.
I'd really, really like to know if my old college instructor liked me or not (I'm five years older than her). Once she was walking down the hall in the direction where I was going, and she turned around to see me, kept turning back to look at me, until she reached her office door. Another instructor got so chatty and nice with me, and once saw me in the parking lot and she ran towards me just to talk. No woman has *ever* ran to me like that.
There are other factors at play, of course, which is why I'd like to know for sure if they did like me or not.
I'm happily partnered for around five years now, so it would be a little weird for anyone to tell me now. Like . . . what do you want me to say or do next? It would feel pretty disrespectful and put me in an awkward position, and I might pull away from that relationship.
If I were single, I don't really mind either way. I certainly wouldn't be upset about knowing, as long as the other person was polite and respectful and wouldn't pressure me. I don't blame anyone for confessing, or for asking out a friend to find out if feelings are reciprocated. I think that's brave! You just have to be able to move on gracefully after one try. Friends don't forget confessions of love; they'll circle back to you if their feelings change.
My best friend in high school is someone I remember very fondly. He was one of the closest and most meaningful friendships of my life. He confessed to a crush on me a few months before graduation and I had to tell him I didn't have any romantic feelings for him at all. He was totally cool about it and we remained very close; he never brought it up again. For my part, I never treated him differently afterward--I mostly just felt a bit sad for him, as unreciprocated crushes are always a bit painful.
If I were single, I don't really mind either way. I certainly wouldn't be upset about knowing, as long as the other person was polite and respectful and wouldn't pressure me. I don't blame anyone for confessing, or for asking out a friend to find out if feelings are reciprocated. I think that's brave! You just have to be able to move on gracefully after one try. Friends don't forget confessions of love; they'll circle back to you if their feelings change.
My best friend in high school is someone I remember very fondly. He was one of the closest and most meaningful friendships of my life. He confessed to a crush on me a few months before graduation and I had to tell him I didn't have any romantic feelings for him at all. He was totally cool about it and we remained very close; he never brought it up again. For my part, I never treated him differently afterward--I mostly just felt a bit sad for him, as unreciprocated crushes are always a bit painful.
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