Invasion of the yellow jackets

[rockthemike13]

Yesterday I was out back, minding some chores, when I see out of the corner of my eye what appeared to be a honey bee fly past, and crawl into a small hole in a ridiculously large pile of rocks the previous tenants of the house has left.

I marveled at the idea of a honey bee making a nest in these rocks, not even entirely sure that's how honey bees operate. Then I saw another, and another, and another fly into the hole.

After closer inspection, I see these are not honey bees, they are yellow jackets. As manly and courageously as I could, I ran away yiping at the top of my lungs. I've all ways had a horrible phobia of wasps/hornets. No fear of getting stung mind you (I've been stung a few times, it's not so bad), they're just so... so scary looking :x

So I brought it to every ones attention, and the back yard is now off limits. Last night I went on a bit of an espionage mission. A couple beers and a half a can of "and and roach spray" later, the nest was finished.

Fast forward to this morning. I awake, and peer out my window to see what looks like dozens of the little *(^#'s flying angrily around the hole. In all my infinite wisdom, I walked out the front door, grabbed a giant rock, and hucked it as hard as I could at the nest (retreating back inside of course).

Now there are what appears to be close to a hundred of them, just swarming the place.

This is where I need your help TBT. I NEED these hornets destroyed. I need a battle plan. I need weapons, strategies, warm bodies. Get these little douche bags away from my house!!! CHARGE!!!

 

[Yui Z]

Have you tried calling pest control yet?

 

[rockthemike13]

Have you tried calling pest control yet?

Theres 2 problems with that.

First off, I'm a man, I can't call on others to do my work for me.

Second, that costs money. Do you think I'd have money? I wouldn't be on my computer on a weekend if I had money!

 

[FireNinja1]

My house has a deck built in it, and twice there has been wasps around the nest. What my dad did was put on a bunch of clothes so he couldn't be stung (like absolute coverage), and went right up to the nest, and started poking at it with a stick. (Well, it was hanging from it, so in this case you'd be moving it away). Then he just threw it somewhere when he was done (I think). Anyway, that might be a bit difficult for you since you mentioned your phobia, but for my family it worked.

 

[Caius]

Hairspray and a lighter.

 

[Aradai]

Hairspray and a lighter.

If it worked on all of those spiders in my house, I'm sure it'll work on those pesky yellow jackets.

 

[rockthemike13]

Fireninja: That sounds like a good idea, but yeah, the phobia thing wont let me get close. Also, I can't see the nest. It's some where underground. I'm sure theres like a giant network of the bloody things brooding and tunneling their way into my house. If it's war they want, way they will get.

ZR: Hair spray?! Let me take you back to my first point. I'm a man! I don't have cans of hair spray lying around. I looked around for something flammable and couldnt find any thing. What I did find though, was a sling shot in fairly good repair, and a pack of firecrackers. Think with a little help I could launch some firecrackers at them? I feel like it would only piss them off, my aim isn't that great. I'd like to shoot the fire cracker into the hole, but I doubt it would even get close.

 

[Aradai]

...Go buy some at your local store. The should sell some hairspray.

 

[rockthemike13]

...Go buy some at your local store. The should sell some hairspray.

I live out in the sticks! It's too much work to drive like 40 minutes to walmart. I am definitely in need of a trip, as we need food and junk, but it's just. Too far right now. It's Sunday. I don't feel like driving.

 

[Aradai]

I live out in the sticks! It's too much work to drive like 40 minutes to walmart. I am definitely in need of a trip, as we need food and junk, but it's just. Too far right now. It's Sunday. I don't feel like driving.

I get that feeling :'(
Well, good luck. Show those jackets who's boss.

 

[xiaonu]

oh god that's so scary ;____;
I hope you find a solution to exterminate them soon.

 

[Stevey Queen]

Omg just call an exterminator and stop shooting down everybody's ideas. They aren't going to kill themselves

 

[Leela]

I will use my mind powers to make those little piles of trash explode.

 

[DarkOnyx]

"First off, I'm a man, I can't call on others to do my work for me."So what?Are you one of those people who think just because your a man ou have to do all these things and constantly be brave and "manly?"Sorry if that sounds offensive,but seriously,you can just call the exterminaters....

 

[Peisinoe]

Basically set everything on fire and run

 

[Mushrooms]

Basically set everything on fire and run

Great minds think alike, my friend. Great minds think alike...

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

Whelp. Time to die.

 

[Superpenguin]

Get a cement truck and fill in your backyard.

 

[keybug55]

Well the Hairspray + Lighter thing

you can use Old Spice or Axe. They work just as well. Plus they're manly

 

[rockthemike13]

This is all good stuff. VERY good stuff.

Omg just call an exterminator and stop shooting down everybody's ideas. They aren't going to kill themselves

I'm not "shooting" down ideas my man! I mean, if you want to pay for the exterminator, feel free.

I will use my mind powers to make those little piles of trash explode.

This is probably my favorite plan out of all of them. Except, I arrived home today to find the buggers still angrily buzzing around. I guess that would count that plan as a failure.

"First off, I'm a man, I can't call on others to do my work for me."So what?Are you one of those people who think just because your a man ou have to do all these things and constantly be brave and "manly?"Sorry if that sounds offensive,but seriously,you can just call the exterminaters....

I don't THINK just because I'm a man I have to be manly. I KNOW because I'm a manly man I am automatically manly. Those little moronic buzzballs march onto my turf, my territory, my palace, my domain and expect an easy fight? If I call the exterminator, you know what? THEY WIN. I had to inconvenience myself and pay out of pocket for some jerk to fight my battle. Do you want them to win? Are you on their side? Maybe I'll have to turn my hairspray on you.

@Stina and Rainbow: If this were a tree, or any thing else I probably would set fire to it. I'm not sure how to set fire to rocks. Maybe I could try gasoline, or something.

@Superpenguin: I actually am in love with this idea. Screw what I said earlier about not wanting to pay money, I think I'm going to rent a cement truck.

@ Keybug: Is that so? I have a can of axe in the bathroom. If I spray the nest, do you think they'd react quick enough to engage in combat? I don't think it's a fight I can win, I need speed and guile to win this battle. I was going to fill the hole with dirt on my next night time mission. I really am interested in trying this, if I can shoot fire into the hole and catch the nest on fire while they're asleep, I can only hope my ears are perceptive enough to hear their little tiny hate filled screams.

On my way home today, I grabbed a big flat rock, and hucked it at the nest. They're still buzzing around angrily, too stupid to fight back. Little jerkasses. Fear not TBT, this type of transgression will not go unpunished.