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Mental Illness Thread
- Thread starter Ragdoll
- Start date
primandimproper
Transgender Trainwreck
Ah, well, hopefully it doesn't take as long for you get to approved as it did me. That was a long 3 years, and I lost almost my entire settlement. Not at all fun. I shall keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
primandimproper
Transgender Trainwreck
Thank you heaps.Bless you!
Thank you. You, too.
My bpd is messing with me hard today.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 12 and I also have some adhd tendencies.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but mental illness runs rampant in my family and I have some medical stuff that can cause it.
I often feel like what I'm feeling isn't valid like others because I haven't been diagnosed, or that my pain isn't as important as other peoples. I get afraid to talk about it to other people too, I don't want them to worry or feel bad for me.
But lately I'm learning to stop comparing myself to other people. I'm not like anyone else and that's ok. My feelings don't need to be more or less than someone else's to be valid.
I've started on a self-help journey last couple months and I've been improving pretty steadily, but I still have good and bad days.
There's days when I can go nonstop all day and days when getting out of bed is all I can do. But that's ok. I'm doing what I can when I can and I'm proud of myself for trying.
@other people struggling, it does get better. Believe me.
I haven't been formally diagnosed, but mental illness runs rampant in my family and I have some medical stuff that can cause it.
I often feel like what I'm feeling isn't valid like others because I haven't been diagnosed, or that my pain isn't as important as other peoples. I get afraid to talk about it to other people too, I don't want them to worry or feel bad for me.
But lately I'm learning to stop comparing myself to other people. I'm not like anyone else and that's ok. My feelings don't need to be more or less than someone else's to be valid.
I've started on a self-help journey last couple months and I've been improving pretty steadily, but I still have good and bad days.
There's days when I can go nonstop all day and days when getting out of bed is all I can do. But that's ok. I'm doing what I can when I can and I'm proud of myself for trying.
@other people struggling, it does get better. Believe me.
where are my schizotypal buddies at?
Schizotypal also lmao
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
honestly getting diagnosed w anxiety and depression is pretty much just seeing someone and being like ”im depressed :/” and theyll b like Yah I Can See That Lol, it takes like three minutes... it’s pretty straightforward and if you think you have it you probably do, having a professional being like ”yeah” doesnt make it any worse, more real or more valid.
imo it’s a big problem in mental health communities that people want to be the worst and show everyone how sick they are, no one should have to be suicidal and extremely depressed for people to take them seriously but that’s kinda how it is sometimes. like, even if you know of people who have it worse than you doesn’t mean that your suffering isn’t valid even tho people might make you feel like it....
also, kind of almost related but i hate when people w/ mild mental health issues or mild self harm issues are dismissed by others and psychiatric care because their issues aren’t bad enough... it’s seriously one of the most stupid things ever, it’s not like their issues will just go away on their own and there’s a risk that they will get much worse. helping people early on would be better for everyone involved but instead people are made to feel like they aren’t bad enough, so they won’t get help and then it gets much harder for them to get better lol.
i love to sin
Senior Member
i cant express how much i agree with this--a lot of people will try to disagree with this but when i was hospitalized a lot of people would try to stress how much their issues were more valid than others. they tried to make it one huge circle jerk but people don't understand that even if your situation is worse than others, does not mean someone elses feelings are valid. i dealt w a lot of issues that led me to be hospitalized and even if u think someone else is dealing with a situation easier than theirs doesnt mean you should make them feel bad for seeking help. thats all
just monika
♥♥♥
hi i have bad adhd (and probably some other stuff too idk, like my dad who does in fact have anxiety thinks i have anxiety too) and sometimes it makes me feel like a useless idiot and then after i'm done feeling like a useless idiot i'm like "what was i thinking lol???? i'm not a useless idiot"
fun fact: i have a friend who i've known since preschool who hates almost every interest/hyperfixation i've ever had and it makes me feel absolutely horrible! and yet she insists on talking about nothing but kpop even when i'm obviously disinterested. it's great!
(someone please give me tips on how to deal with these two things better asdfgh)
fun fact: i have a friend who i've known since preschool who hates almost every interest/hyperfixation i've ever had and it makes me feel absolutely horrible! and yet she insists on talking about nothing but kpop even when i'm obviously disinterested. it's great!
(someone please give me tips on how to deal with these two things better asdfgh)
visibleghost
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i struggle a lot w feelings of self loathing and a psychologist i've met gave me some advice on how to deal w it. it's about turning negative thoughts about yourself into neutral or validating thoughts i guess. lol.
first you're supposed to acknowledge that the negative thoughts abt yourself are thoughts and not facts or feelings. (because Feelings are always Valid and shouldn't be fought but this is a secondary feeling or w/e and it's not good or Valid.)
my therapy was centered around feelings and self harm so idk how relevant this is to you but we focused on identifying feelings and judgmental thoughts about feelings (like "i'm sad" is a feeling but "i'm pathetic because i'm sad" is a judgmental thought lol) and working on making the thoughts not judgmental, so instead of being like "i'm terrible because i'm feeling like this or can't do this" you're supposed to Validate yourself and be like "i have a thought that i'm terrible because of it but it's understandable and Valid that i feel like this :')". (and then the point was to not self harm but uh that's not relevant to this, i just felt like this sounded stupid and like it didn't have any meaning or goal......)
so basically the point is to try to stop beating yourself up and also to validate and be kind to yourself......... this sounds a lot more like "lol just stop being like this?????? xoxo" than i intended it to but it's because i'm bad at explaining, dbt (i think that's what it's called???) is actually a legit type of therapy....... and you can do these things yourself so that's nice.
i don't think it works perfectly for me but i try to be mindful of my thoughts and feelings and identify them properly so i can deal with them or dismiss them or whatever, which makes them less destructive i guess.
i dont have any advice on the other stuff but your friend sounds kind of mean or at least not very self-aware. maybe she doesn't realize that she's hurting you but idk it's not great and perfect to hate on everything you like, if it's important to you your friends should listen and be nice instead of going "oh wow your interests suck and now i'm going to make fun of it forever, sorry bro"
primandimproper
Transgender Trainwreck
I agree with all this, but I think it's important to recognize when someone is self-harming or claiming to be suicidal for attention rather than actually being suicidal. I say this because they take away from people who really ARE suicidal and make people not take us seriously. I once lived with a girl with narcissistic personality disorder. She was so desperate for attention, she actually slit her wrists. I just woke up one morning and there was blood everywhere. I got so upset over it, I had to be sent to the hospital and she came home a couple days later, and acted like it had never happened.
Another girl I lived with has Munchausen's syndrome, which is a disorder that makes you lie about being sick to get attention. She claimed to be sick or suicidal so much, she was being sent to the hospital once or twice a week. And I lived with her for a year and a half. It was like that the entire time.
I have generalized anxiety disorder, but my social anxiety and depression are the worst ones. I need to be on medicine but I can never seem to make it back to the doctor for med checks therefore I never get an actual prescription. **** sucks.
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
wym... people who are suicidal for attention are still suicidal. obviously if people are faking then thats not cool but generally they have issues too lol
like sorry but i feel more bad for the girl w npd who slit her wrists than for you who got upset over it.
primandimproper
Transgender Trainwreck
I don't believe I ever asked for your pity and I feel sorry for her, too.
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
yeah whatever i just think you had a terrible attitude about the girl w npd who """"""was suicidal""""""" (you know, since she wanted attention she wasn't actually suicidal lol) and it really takes away from the seriousness of actual real and valid mentally ill people who are suicidal as well but just for other (valid) reasons. ://
seriously though, i'm not saying that hurting yourself for attention is good (it can really be abusive and all that stuff) and it can surely be triggering to have someone close to you attempt suicide, but you can't decide which mentally ill people are ill in the right way or for the right reason.
not saying you're doing this but there are so many people who are like "lol people who only have x disorder/symptom aren't actually mentally ill because x disorder/symptom isn't that bad .. Also have i mentioned that suffering is a competition and that i'm winning?" and that's one of the worst things in mental health communities imo. people have different issues to different degrees and and if people can't respect each other or interact with each other without making everything into a destructive and competitive mess then maybe it's better for those people to stay away from each other. one person's validness and suffering is independent of other people and it would be so much better if people started treating each other like that too lol.
I believe what primandimproper is trying to stress is that there are quite a few people with mental health issues who will "cry wolf" for attention and not give much care into the feelings of those around them. I have seen many a scenario of people who will blog every day about how they will kill themselves today, and they don't wind up doing it. Such dispositions can be dangerous because they can cause people around them to develop compassion fatigue. This is a problem even professionals suffer from. Simply put, when you're surrounded by this kind of thing every day, you're in danger of having very little ability to care about it anymore to protect your own mental health. This is dangerous for the person in question because one day they really could be legitimately considering ending it, and those who would have cared had their ability to care exhausted and they're unable to help them when they're really in need.
Such people should be encouraged to look for healthier ways to seek attention as opposed to engaging in alarming behaviors to earn it. The problem is that these people are difficult to tell from the "suffer-in-silence" types, not to mention reduce the compassion that people feel for those types as well. People see what the "suffer-in-silence" types do and see it as coming from the same place, and thus they believe it to be a false alarm as well, when it isn't in their case. People minimize these mental health issues because of these attention seekers because it's their way of being able to deal with the constant drama. (Plus, it is harder to believe that an issue is serious if someone will lie about what they actually want and feel like doing for the sake of getting attention. This, of course, leads to people believing later that someone who brings it up who is usually the suffer-in-silence type is lying, too.)
Seeking attention is not inherently a bad thing. Everyone wants attention, everyone wants to be noticed, even those who claim they don't and can manage by themselves. Humans are a social species; we thrive off of communities. But all humans have a limit to how much and what kind of social interaction they can tolerate. When you're a people person, someone who lives to please those around you, you try to answer the call every time when someone needs your help, all the meanwhile putting your own needs aside. This can be draining with especially needy people, who, as opposed to helping themselves, will dump all the need of their mental health onto you. It's easy in this situation to become resentful of these people, especially if they don't show you the same consideration you show them. You feel just because you don't resort to these methods to get attention, you don't get any, and it doesn't feel fair because you want and need attention, too. That can lead to thinking along the same lines of primandimproper's.
Attention seekers are too dependent on others for validation. It's understandable that they're like this, and it's pretty common with mental illness that goes unaddressed for years. But this dependency can be a drain on those around them, and it's doing these attention seekers a disservice to pretend that it doesn't, that personal matters and feelings and human reactions should be dropped specifically for them.
To get personal with you on this one, I used to be one of those attention seeker types. I'd post constantly about how I wanted to kill myself, about how people don't care about me, about what it would be like to hurt myself, etc. Not only did I say some really offensive stuff then that made my friends feel upset on the daily, but I also frightened them horribly, to the point that they would have panic attacks because they believed I really was about to end it all when I wasn't. This behavior didn't help me feel better. Their validation of this behavior didn't help me feel better. I kept doing it, over and over, even when I got the response I wanted, because I wanted that response again. Even when I did get that response, it didn't improve my self esteem one lick. All my friendships wound up being unhealthy, and it's honestly a wonder why most of them even stuck around when being around me was nothing but stress. I acted like you are now - that if you ever ignored a call or ever had trouble believing it, you have a terrible attitude about it.
I've swung to the opposite side of the pendulum now, and it's through that that I've begun to understand where everyone is coming from. Now, I attempt to help myself, and I don't air my grievances with people very often. Of course, I'm still attempting to learn a healthy balance between the two; because I don't speak up often enough, my friends feel like I'm more aloof and distant, which isn't an impression I want to give, either. I don't know if I'll ever find that healthy balance as it's a constant work in progress, but I do feel as though my friendships are generally healthier this way, and my friends don't find it to be a constant roller coaster of emotions to be around me. That's probably why I find myself resentful of attention-seeking behavior (at least, the extreme kind) from time to time, because it reminds me of the horrible way I treated people around me back then. It's also why I believe such behavior should not be coddled or encouraged. If someone outright told me earlier that my behavior hurt other people, that I behaved too callously in that attention-seeking state, I probably wouldn't be still dealing with the fallout now.
It's easy to suggest that we all be understanding about extreme behaviors, but the fact of the matter is that those behaviors do wear on other people. The sooner we acknowledge that, the sooner, I believe, we can really get around to helping people in need.
EDIT: idk if it matters but i have issues with anxiety and autism i mean lol it was causing me anxiety to write this post even
my point in all this is not to say that these people aren't valid but rather to help better understand where primandimproper is coming from
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