Mental Illness
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KittyKawaii
Intermediate Member
I dunno what it's called, but sometimes I can't really feel anything.
Like, I haven't really had major sadness, happiness, etc. for the past 3 years. I guess it's strange, but hey, that's how life goes.
Like, I haven't really had major sadness, happiness, etc. for the past 3 years. I guess it's strange, but hey, that's how life goes.
Celestefey
どうでもいい
Yes, this is what I was trying to say. I mean... It's not okay to just self-diagnose yourself with like every mental illness under the sun because, the chances are very high that you don't have all of those mental illnesses, and you really ought to seek advice from those who are professionally trained as they will be able to provide you with the correct support you need. I mean, the internet was how I found out more about depression, and I started to link some of the common features of depression to my own patterns and behaviours. It was not something I just diagnosed myself with suddenly one day, it was more like a process... A realisation, even. But I didn't just suddenly go: "Yeah, I have trouble paying attention sometimes so I have ADHD", or in my case "I feel sad and cry a lot so I must be depressed", it was more like a process of doing research and taking time to understand what depression was.
Anyway, back on topic, but yeah, I suffer with depression, which really, really sucks. Somedays I just wake up and feel like complete garbage and just wish I didn't even exist. Sometimes, I am sad for no reason and I just don't have any motivation to do ANYTHING. I feel like, I become depressed when I am lonely and I don't have something to occupy my mind, or just when I have a lot on my mind and it distresses me so much I feel like I can't do anything to sort it out. I tend to go through phases of peacefulness and then just months of depression. It sucks and I have no idea why I am like that. I've started to take some vitamins and it's really helping me and affecting me. I didn't take it with me though whilst I was on holiday in New York the other week and I really noticed a difference. The vitamins basically just help me feel more energetic and less tired and fatigued all the time (something which depression causes me to have). Anyway yeah, I am FINALLY getting some professional help and I'm finally starting to change aspects of my life and I'm just generally feeling much better nowadays... So let's hope things stay that way.
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That's very true. With a lot of mental illnesses, you need the right support to help you get through them. And you're right, they can help you realise that you may have one, but you shouldn't just go around and say you have a mental illness with just a self-diagnose because you can make a lot of ppl angry for it (that's how I am with my social anxiety). You need to research more about it because it's not just a general thing because there are more categories within a category. Get professionally diagnosed before you go around and stating that you have said illness.
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Twisterheart
Senior Member
I have chronic depression, however it is slowly starting to get better. I still have a long way to go, though.
I have anxiety (and social anxiety) and have since the age of 11 (somewhere around there, bear in mind I'm 18 now so), past experiences with informing teachers about my anxiety (I've had some time off school/college because of it) hasn't gone well, not at all. I got referred to a therapist/counsellor (not too sure what to call them) and I couldn't even open up about it (I just got very upset). On top of that I'm unsure as to if I have depression but I'm too afraid to get a diagnosis/get help, and also I haven't really had friends since I was 8? Just a lot of bullying..
I deal with anxiety and social anxiety. I have also had mysophobia for a few years and it causes me to OCD on things and wash my hands constantly (which is really annoying in the autumn and winter since they get dry/chapped). I don't usually tell people irl though, since I'm afraid they won't understand.
i dont even remember making this thread
also update from july: pretty much my mood plummeted, went psychotic and tried to kill myself, got put in the ER, almost got locked up in the mental ward, pretty sure im insane but its k coz i got good grades n friendz (i can actually hide my mental illnesses prety well. sucks 4 the boys who hav a crush on me coz im pretty sure they would never be able to handle me lmao)
also update from july: pretty much my mood plummeted, went psychotic and tried to kill myself, got put in the ER, almost got locked up in the mental ward, pretty sure im insane but its k coz i got good grades n friendz (i can actually hide my mental illnesses prety well. sucks 4 the boys who hav a crush on me coz im pretty sure they would never be able to handle me lmao)
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visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
don't exactly love talking about my diagnoses n stuff but honestly idec anymore it's just a part of me and my life that i gotta try to deal with even though i wanna kms at all times. honestly don't get how anything could change for the better, especially not through therapy, but i still go because it's probably not totally useless and my therapist is nice. ;;
honestly my biggest problems are probably intrusive thoughts/impulses that are super hard to resist, not really feeling emotion except for like Utter Despair (lmaoo no but rly), and dissosiocation, if i spelled that the right way. it's like when all these three things go together they form a hybrid Bad Thing that makes me dead
also uh does anyone else feel like getting better and maybe even getting to live a life w/o mental illness (even though your illnesses are cureable) would be impossible?
because that's kind of what it feels like to me, I have a friend who tells me that I'm going to get better and "fully become [myself] again!", but that's just... so weird.... I am myself now even tho I'm ****ed up, am I not..?
honestly my biggest problems are probably intrusive thoughts/impulses that are super hard to resist, not really feeling emotion except for like Utter Despair (lmaoo no but rly), and dissosiocation, if i spelled that the right way. it's like when all these three things go together they form a hybrid Bad Thing that makes me dead
also uh does anyone else feel like getting better and maybe even getting to live a life w/o mental illness (even though your illnesses are cureable) would be impossible?
because that's kind of what it feels like to me, I have a friend who tells me that I'm going to get better and "fully become [myself] again!", but that's just... so weird.... I am myself now even tho I'm ****ed up, am I not..?
some mental illnesses will stay with you forever
some like depression can /maybe/ be cured.
but it never really goes away. it just disappears for a decade or two. depression usually comes back
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
yah well that sucks a lot
welp, hello. I am cailey, I am nearly 20yrs old, and I was diagnosed with depression at about 13yrs.
they put me on some anti-depressants which at first I couldn't deal with (messed up emotions, loss of appetite, couldn't focus).. basically did the opposite of what it should've done. I was off and on it for a couple years. my childhood was... bad, to say the very least. I really don't want to or feel comfortable giving every detail over some videogame forums, however I will share a few things to give an idea.
at age 6 I waved goodbye to my alcoholic/drug abusing/sexual assaulting father in a courtroom with my mother (biological, I love her, she's my best friend) and my father (he adopted me when I was about 10 and has been with my mom since I was 2 or so) he has raised me because the other one obviously was incapable. after 6 terrifying years, he was gone. attended high school, was bullied throughout and was forced to go to two different schools because of issues at the first one. I had a formspring account (stupid I know) which was something people could ask anonymous questions on... you know where I am going with this. honestly now I have so much confidence in my looks but then.... it was my awkward stage and I did wear funny things, etc. so of course people filled that with anonymous comments about how ugly I was etc. one night, early freshman year, I attempted suicide. my brothers best friend came to the rescue. parents announced a divorce when I was about 15yrs after being married for 15yrs. I left the house. went to my best friends house of 10yrs and stayed with her for a week. my older brother ran off and joined the navy and left. sister moved right out at 18 that year. before they divorced we were fairly wealthy. I had horses, they were my escape. nice house, went to events, vacations (beach every summer, forest every winter since I was 5) it all stopped. house got foreclosed, had to sell all my horses, vacations stopped. I lost my best friend of 10yrs, I basically lived with her. she knew everything. hell, I knew her for 10yrs we had to of been like sisters - we were. she chose a controlling guy over me. one that made him stop seeing me on certain days etc.? I was 15. I am now nearly 20... haven't heard from her since. family started acting flaky (not close to my dads side but my moms started being distant after the divorce).. started hopping around condos with mom.. lost all friends, so did she. more details, but you get the point.
but you know what? I'm happy. happy as can be. and it did, take a LONG time for me to get to this point. I pushed through. after years of therapy, anti-depressants, and loss - I. pushed. through. and you know what, beautiful? you can too. you can do it. because I've been there. not exactly where you've been, but I've been there. you know, that empty useless void you escape to, drowning in suffocating emotions. I have been there. I, too, have spent countless waking hours staring at walls, ceilings, floors... screaming, crying, slamming doors, questioning life. hell, I still cry sometimes. and that, that is okay. I know you're having a hard time, I know all of you are. it saddens me. I know those emotions. but I promise, I promise from the deepest depths of my heart and soul that everything will be okay. you will be okay. you are all so beautiful. so, freaking, beautiful.... I admire you all for how far you've come. I admire you for pushing through, even if you're hanging by a tiny string - you are still here, and I want it to stay that way. the world is beautiful. or it can be. it's how you view things, lovely people. it's how you view things. life is so immensely short. my years so far have flown by - it's almost scary.
I have found beautiful boy to spend my years with. we just recently went on 5yrs of dating and now 2yrs of living together in a cute little apartment in the city. we adopted two cats together and snuggle each other to sleep every night. I talk to my mom everyday and we give each other support. I graduate dental school tomorrow, can you believe it!? I'm actually going to be a dental assistant when I remembered being at that stand still the night I attempted way back thinking I could never do anything of that matter and yet I graduate tomorrow........ it's unbelievable. my family is coming around again.. my depression is fading. surround yourself with things you love. I plan to adopt a horse in the next few years, move out of state, go on more adventures, eat amazing food, buy myself some cute clothes, have a child in a few years, get married around the same time...... life has so much to offer. you just have to accept its gifts...
I love all of you. I admire all of you. I encourage you all to keep treading. and I encourage you to feel free to pm me anytime you ever need me. I am always, always here because I know how it is to be the only person on this earth - or at least feel like it.
you are all so much stronger than you think, you beautiful humans. keep going, good things are coming your way.
* might delete post later as I feel it's really personal and hurts me to read I guess - depends on the responses I get. if it's motivational or inspirational I'll keep it up I suppose.. ; u ;
they put me on some anti-depressants which at first I couldn't deal with (messed up emotions, loss of appetite, couldn't focus).. basically did the opposite of what it should've done. I was off and on it for a couple years. my childhood was... bad, to say the very least. I really don't want to or feel comfortable giving every detail over some videogame forums, however I will share a few things to give an idea.
at age 6 I waved goodbye to my alcoholic/drug abusing/sexual assaulting father in a courtroom with my mother (biological, I love her, she's my best friend) and my father (he adopted me when I was about 10 and has been with my mom since I was 2 or so) he has raised me because the other one obviously was incapable. after 6 terrifying years, he was gone. attended high school, was bullied throughout and was forced to go to two different schools because of issues at the first one. I had a formspring account (stupid I know) which was something people could ask anonymous questions on... you know where I am going with this. honestly now I have so much confidence in my looks but then.... it was my awkward stage and I did wear funny things, etc. so of course people filled that with anonymous comments about how ugly I was etc. one night, early freshman year, I attempted suicide. my brothers best friend came to the rescue. parents announced a divorce when I was about 15yrs after being married for 15yrs. I left the house. went to my best friends house of 10yrs and stayed with her for a week. my older brother ran off and joined the navy and left. sister moved right out at 18 that year. before they divorced we were fairly wealthy. I had horses, they were my escape. nice house, went to events, vacations (beach every summer, forest every winter since I was 5) it all stopped. house got foreclosed, had to sell all my horses, vacations stopped. I lost my best friend of 10yrs, I basically lived with her. she knew everything. hell, I knew her for 10yrs we had to of been like sisters - we were. she chose a controlling guy over me. one that made him stop seeing me on certain days etc.? I was 15. I am now nearly 20... haven't heard from her since. family started acting flaky (not close to my dads side but my moms started being distant after the divorce).. started hopping around condos with mom.. lost all friends, so did she. more details, but you get the point.
but you know what? I'm happy. happy as can be. and it did, take a LONG time for me to get to this point. I pushed through. after years of therapy, anti-depressants, and loss - I. pushed. through. and you know what, beautiful? you can too. you can do it. because I've been there. not exactly where you've been, but I've been there. you know, that empty useless void you escape to, drowning in suffocating emotions. I have been there. I, too, have spent countless waking hours staring at walls, ceilings, floors... screaming, crying, slamming doors, questioning life. hell, I still cry sometimes. and that, that is okay. I know you're having a hard time, I know all of you are. it saddens me. I know those emotions. but I promise, I promise from the deepest depths of my heart and soul that everything will be okay. you will be okay. you are all so beautiful. so, freaking, beautiful.... I admire you all for how far you've come. I admire you for pushing through, even if you're hanging by a tiny string - you are still here, and I want it to stay that way. the world is beautiful. or it can be. it's how you view things, lovely people. it's how you view things. life is so immensely short. my years so far have flown by - it's almost scary.
I have found beautiful boy to spend my years with. we just recently went on 5yrs of dating and now 2yrs of living together in a cute little apartment in the city. we adopted two cats together and snuggle each other to sleep every night. I talk to my mom everyday and we give each other support. I graduate dental school tomorrow, can you believe it!? I'm actually going to be a dental assistant when I remembered being at that stand still the night I attempted way back thinking I could never do anything of that matter and yet I graduate tomorrow........ it's unbelievable. my family is coming around again.. my depression is fading. surround yourself with things you love. I plan to adopt a horse in the next few years, move out of state, go on more adventures, eat amazing food, buy myself some cute clothes, have a child in a few years, get married around the same time...... life has so much to offer. you just have to accept its gifts...
I love all of you. I admire all of you. I encourage you all to keep treading. and I encourage you to feel free to pm me anytime you ever need me. I am always, always here because I know how it is to be the only person on this earth - or at least feel like it.
you are all so much stronger than you think, you beautiful humans. keep going, good things are coming your way.
* might delete post later as I feel it's really personal and hurts me to read I guess - depends on the responses I get. if it's motivational or inspirational I'll keep it up I suppose.. ; u ;
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i'm really glad you're happier now, you deserve it. everyone here deserves it.
I've not been diagnosed with anything so this is probably a bunch of bs so instead of saying 'I have depression' i'm going to say 'i'm feeling depressed af'. like op said, I feel numb. i'm just drifting through life like a bloody salmon with nothing to live for or look forward to. i'm not happy. there's no reason I shouldn't be; my family is awesome. they're my only support. I do great at school.
i'm just not happy. i'm in this perpetual cycle of unhappiness that has engulfed me. like the little tiny salmon I metaphorically am, i'm at the bottom of the food chain, and sadness is the primary predator.
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Are these self-explanatory or did y'all really go to the doctors and they told you were diagnosed with sucha such. Kawaiilotus just said they discover they had adhd less than a hour ago makes me think you just look up adhd symptoms and believe that out of 1/10 of those things, you have it.
It's kinda hard telling the difference between people who really has it or just don't.
That's the sad thing about the Internet, you'll have people who really have it and may need help then you have those who just think it's a game and just want some attention.
I remember when I was like around 13 and I assume I had bipolar depression because of my constant mood swings(turns out to be puberty) and I was mentally fine.
Now that I'm older, I have clinical depression. This begin to adapt since the passing of my mother. I'm not suicidal, oh no. I fear dying for seeing my life-less mom face to face traumatized me. My constant overthinking made me stress. My stress prevents me from doing anything. Me doing nothing prevents me from enjoying anything. And I can hardly enjoy anything cause of my prone fear of dying so anxiety comes into place.
I take medicine and I'm about to go to counseling again
It's kinda hard telling the difference between people who really has it or just don't.
That's the sad thing about the Internet, you'll have people who really have it and may need help then you have those who just think it's a game and just want some attention.
I remember when I was like around 13 and I assume I had bipolar depression because of my constant mood swings(turns out to be puberty) and I was mentally fine.
Now that I'm older, I have clinical depression. This begin to adapt since the passing of my mother. I'm not suicidal, oh no. I fear dying for seeing my life-less mom face to face traumatized me. My constant overthinking made me stress. My stress prevents me from doing anything. Me doing nothing prevents me from enjoying anything. And I can hardly enjoy anything cause of my prone fear of dying so anxiety comes into place.
I take medicine and I'm about to go to counseling again
I also have asd, but im pretty lucky because i don't seem to have any other "disorders" that come with it.
It got to a stage where i had to be tested for asd, because i would just have major anger outbursts over the slightest thing (i still kinda do.) It took the doctors about 2 years (i think) to come up with a diagnosis for me.
My parents had known that something wasn't quite right since i was 3, I used to trash my bedroom over nothing, but i'd always have one shelf, that had to be perfect or it felt like everything was falling apart. When we went to the drs, They just said that i was a "perfectionist".
It was when my grandad died, that alarm bells truely started ringing, because the way i dealt with my grief wasn't like other people, i mean, sure i cried. but i also drew loads of pictures of me and my grandad, and then i'd add a man behind my grandad hurting him. (My grandad died from cancer) I was only 6 years old.
Then, 3 years later when i was nine, the SEN department in my school refered me to a doctors that specialised in things like autisum,aspurgers,asd,etc. It took them 2 years (as i previously stated) to diagnose me with asd. So thats basically my story i guess, since being diagnosed, i've recived more support from my school with my "anger issues" And i guess thats helped.
I'm not sure if you'd class ASD as a mental illness as such, but i just wanted to get this off of my chest.
Sadly, I think most people diagnose themself with such things as depression by indeed, looking up the symptoms. I don't know why tho, I know you might be relified when you get to hear your diagnose from a doctor but this. Besides, a lot of people still don't accept that there's a difference between feeling down and being depressed.
Don't get me wrong, if you're diagnosed by a doctor, well, congrats on your diagnose, that must be a relief. I think society claims us all to have all kinds of mental deseases. Oh you feel stressed and can't work? Well you must have a mental desease or something, stress disorder or whatever. In the end the attention whores who claim these things will die in hole by themself anyway.
Nightmares
(￣。￣)～ｚｚｚ
That last bit doe 0-0
visibleghost
ʕ •̀ o •́ ʔ
don't want to get into the issues of self dx so w/e but
honestly it's not like mental illnesses are limited edition, there can be however many people with mental illnesses really, so I don't really get what you mean.... It kind of sounds like you think that doctors diagnose too much..?
Also people who lie about having a mental illness for attention kind of suck, but I mean... Some mental illnesses make people really, really need attention. Of course it's bad to lie in bad ways about bad stuff, but honestly saying that they "will die in hole by themself" is kind of harsh and rude...
HopeForHyrule
Bunny Fanatic
I haven't been diagnosed, but that's my own fault because I don't want to be medicated and become a vegetable. I've seen other people before and after they were medicated, and the shift was almost horrifying.
I know I've been dealing with moderate to severe depression most of my life, and other than a couple suicide attempts in my younger years, I like to think I hold it together fairly well.
I know I've been dealing with moderate to severe depression most of my life, and other than a couple suicide attempts in my younger years, I like to think I hold it together fairly well.
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