Mental Illness

[Midoriya]

Wow, a lot of this thread is so sad... I can empathize with a lot of you, sometimes when people have mental disorders it's hard to get out of them and takes years of baby steps before progress is made....

I myself was born with Aspergers (Mild Autism), although I wouldn't exactly consider it to be a mental illness. Yes, it affected my life but it never changed who I was and who I am from when I was born till now. Aspergers is something that makes someone extremely intelligent, but also anti-social in a certain way along with other things. In elementary school I threw temper tantrums a lot and lost control of everything I did while trying not to. Thankfully that stopped after awhile, but middle school sucked. I was excluded every single day of middle school at lunch and when I wasn't in class by everyone. Like I'd literally have one table to myself and no one would offer to sit and eat with me. And this happened every day 182 days a year of school, and it sucked. High school was a lot better thankfully as I switched from Public school to Private school and had a great time in high school making friends with everyone there for four years before graduating in May. At times I wanted to kill myself when I lost control, but I learned to get past that. Thankfully I took speech classes my whole life so I learned how to control my Aspergers. It's faded away in recent years so people are surprised when I tell them I was born with it cause it seems like I wasn't now. But that's only because I had great, supportive parents, an awesome psychiatrist, and took the steps needed to get past my anti-social stuff.

I had also taken a focus pill (ritalin) and anti depressants my whole life up until a year ago where I was able to ween myself off of it and am proud to see I don't have to take any medication now at all any day of the week. I know sometimes things look bleak and there doesn't seem to be any purpose for you in life, but there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel as long as you keep taking baby steps, get help (professional help), and work towards a brighter future. I had a friend who had full blown autism up until he was 14 and one day he was finally able to think and act clearly because of all the steps his family and he himself had taken to get there. He and I had effectively "cured" ourselves of our mental illnesses, I guess you could say. But in the end it doesn't matter because mental illnesses don't define you, labels don't define you, in the end the choices you make in life and the person you grow to become is what defines you. Killing yourself definitely won't help your problems and will just create more for the people that cared about you when you were alive. And if no one cared about you, then it doesn't matter, because killing yourself would cut off your problems completely, not solve them if you get what I mean. Exercise and hobbies are some of the best ways to take your mind off things. I was able to get where I was today by having done Karate for 8 years now and mastering it, I've also done aikido for one year and am a green belt, golf for a couple years, and competitive billiards for 5 years. I also enjoy playing video games and I think we can all agree that's a way to take our minds off things, even if it is temporary. In the end though, even when everything seems dark, never give up. Because there always be a way out if you try hard enough. As Sherlocke Holmes once said "Once you eliminate the impossible, no matter how improbable, it's possible". If you take the right steps and hear the right things you will persevere, maybe not overnight, or within months, or even years, but it will happen, that I can promise you. You have two choices in life. You can either let your mental illnesses control you, or you can control your mental illnesses. Now, what are you going to choose?

#NeverEverGiveUp

 

[radical6]

i forgot i made this thread..lol

i relate to a lot of people in here tbh. idk what to say to everyone but it makes me feel better im not alone in this i guess. its just...tiring. ive been on so many meds i cant name them all anymore. i feel so numb now, i dont really have any emotion besides sadness. im not happy nor am i ever mad, im just..empty. i guess this is the price i pay to take my overwhelming sadness away, but sometimes im still anxious and upset. i just want this to be over with.

 

[sock]

I had separation anxiety when I was 10 and depression when I was 13.

I have a friend who's on meds for depression who's 16.

My other friend tried to kill himself at the age of 8. His mom has now been diagnosed with depression.

My other guy-friends mom is also taking meds for depression.

Another, she tried to kill herself twice at school, when she was 14.

My dad had a breakdown last year, and now takes meds.

My boyfriend was extremely depressed and was on meds at the age of 15.

I suppose I'm trying to say you're definitely not alone!

 

[Albuns]

i forgot i made this thread..lol

i relate to a lot of people in here tbh. idk what to say to everyone but it makes me feel better im not alone in this i guess. its just...tiring. ive been on so many meds i cant name them all anymore. i feel so numb now, i dont really have any emotion besides sadness. im not happy nor am i ever mad, im just..empty. i guess this is the price i pay to take my overwhelming sadness away, but sometimes im still anxious and upset. i just want this to be over with.

Well, I'm not sure how you feel about this.. but sometimes being around moody people and those who try and empathize might be a good way to relieve some tension. They can give you a view of yourself that you never really thought about, kind of like a self reflection~
Sometimes the best medicine is just knowing you have someone around to listen and talk to, the only lingering issue would be the time it takes to get better. c:

Sorry if I sound a bit pushy, I just like trying to help.

 

[MrPicklez]

Hi, my name's Chris and I'm just like a lot of you.

When I was a baby, I was diagnosed with a severe case of rheumatic fever. I've been on penicillin since then and I'm expected to be on it for the rest of my life because of the disease. At the age of 4, I was diagnosed with Sydenham's chorea, ADHD, and mild autism. They prescribed me ritalin, but they took me off of it a year later when they noticed I was losing a considerable amount of weight. Been on Adderall ever since. When I was 10, my psychiatrist diagnosed me with bipolar disorder, social anxiety disorder, borderline personality disorder, and major depressive disorder. I've been on multiple different anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills since then. Back in 2009 I was hospitalized TWICE because I purposely overdosed on my prescription adderall. Same thing happened just recently in October of 2014. All depression related. Right now I'm on ambien cr to sleep, celexa for my depression, adderall xr for my ADHD/Sydenham's/autism, and alprazolam for my anxiety/bipolar disorder.

It's literally a chore for me to get up and do daily activities. I literally sleep most of my day away every single day and stay up most of the night(less people at night than during the day). I completely flunked going to public college because my social anxiety prevented me from really making friends and I always feel alone because of it. I honestly haven't had a really close friend since high school and that was back in 2009. It's even worse because of my ADHD/sydenham's because I'm always hyper as hell and I hate staying in one place but I hate being around people just as much. See the dilemma? What makes things far harder for me is the fact that I'm not really close to ANY of my family members but my dad and even then he's hours away back in my home town. It's just myself, my girlfriend, and two dogs. They can only do so much to help me.

Now I just feel like I'm *****ing so I'm gonna stop lol

EDIT:
I forgot to mention that I have permanent heart problems and stuff due to the rheumatic fever and that's why I'm on penicillin for the rest of my life. I have problems with bacteria and stuff so I get sick extremely easily.

 

[aslyssalox]

Well I'm definitely a pessimist, and I was involved in doing something that's considered a mental illness *not gonna go into details* but I feel ya guys... Life can be a b***h sometimes

 

[f11]

I've been professionally diagnosed adhd, and emergent-bpd (I'm a minor). Also self diagnosed bipolar II and GAD bc I haven't seen my psych in a while lol.

 

[AmaiiTenshii]

apologies for bumping the thread. i'm just gonna say rn that what i write might be long but hopefully not too long gah.

first and foremost i've been professionally diagnosed with all of my mental problems, but currently i'm unmedicated for personal reasons. i used to take a myriad of medications a few years ago but have since stopped.

my childhood wasnt exactly the best, verbal/physical abuse and csa and yeeears of intense bullying to a point where the police were involved and i had to switch schools more than once.

i believe it's because of my ****ty childhood that i developed my most notable mental illness which is did/dissociative identity disorder. aka multiple personalities but that's a really outdated medical term and hasnt been used professionally in like 20 years or something. it's a total ***** to deal with.

aside from did i'm also schizophrenic, bipolar type 1, psychotic/delusional, on the autism spectrum (aspergers), adhd type 1, a legitimate sociopath/aspd, severely socially anxious 99% of the time (also separation anxiety??), and i have mild-to-moderate ocd when numbers are involved; for example i usually cannot count normally, after i hit 12 i go back to 1, just like a clock.

the majority of that is not actually immediately present, however.

because i have did, some of my alters (other personalities, i guess they could be called) are responsible for storing certain mental illnesses so that my life can be a little more normal. it doesnt mean that my other personalities themselves are mentally ill or that i dont have those illnesses, it just means they're not 100% there all the time and the symptoms get much worse when the other personalities are conscious.

tldr hi there i'm shiloh and i'm a one-man insane asylum.

 

[mayoremi]

I dont see what I have as a mental illness, but I do have aspergers.

 

[Xerolin]

Less than an hour ago, I discovered I have adhd. I just dunno how to tell my dad.. That would explain why I get super distracted. A lot. Plus like on average, women cry 5 times a month? I cry every other day..

- - - Post Merge - - -

Sorry for bumping this btw

 

[Celestefey]

Less than an hour ago, I discovered I have adhd. I just dunno how to tell my dad.. That would explain why I get super distracted. A lot. Plus like on average, women cry 5 times a month? I cry every other day..

- - - Post Merge - - -

Sorry for bumping this btw

How did you discover you had ADHD? I'm not trying to invalidate you or anything, but I just wanted to say, it's TOTALLY normal to cry very often when you're a teen anyway, and just going through puberty, because your hormones are just all over the place. When I was younger I used to have mood swings a lot, and even now I still do because of periods and stuff like that. I know you're a younger teen, so, please don't feel like it isn't normal to cry a lot. Yes, the average "woman" may cry 5 times a month, but that's because they are older and more mature, so are less likely to have mood swings and the like, because they're done with puberty. Besides, it doesn't matter how often you get upset, how often you get mood swings, how often you cry... Our emotions are all valid, and it is okay to feel that way. Your feelings are totally valid.

 

[Fantasyrick]

I have adhd ^^ id think it's bad at all it is a part of who I am and I wouldn't change it

 

[Xerolin]

How did you discover you had ADHD? I'm not trying to invalidate you or anything, but I just wanted to say, it's TOTALLY normal to cry very often when you're a teen anyway, and just going through puberty, because your hormones are just all over the place. When I was younger I used to have mood swings a lot, and even now I still do because of periods and stuff like that. I know you're a younger teen, so, please don't feel like it isn't normal to cry a lot. Yes, the average "woman" may cry 5 times a month, but that's because they are older and more mature, so are less likely to have mood swings and the like, because they're done with puberty. Besides, it doesn't matter how often you get upset, how often you get mood swings, how often you cry... Our emotions are all valid, and it is okay to feel that way. Your feelings are totally valid.

I was watching brainPOP XD
I'm currently 11 years old. Crying extra lately cuz um..lady things XD
I get some pretty extreme mood swings. Usually a combination of an "attitude" (according to my dad) and crying

 

[Llust]

idk how to start with this but earlier in class, i had my earbuds in so everyone around me assumed i was listening to music and couldnt hear anything else. true, i was listening to music but i paused it for awhile just to eavesdrop on convos. i happened to pick up a few sentences coming from this group of girls around me like 'omg did u guys see the scars on sydneys (my name, ayy) wrist? ikr its so gross and shes so skinny too, no wonder she doesnt have a boyfriend lol. shes probably looking for attention looking like a loner and dressing emo n stuff. y'know, "depressed" people are so pathetic. they just need to suck it up.' okay just to clarify, im an introvert. i enjoy loneliness and im comfortable with my style. yeah, there are scars on my wrist from self harm but that shouldnt mean sht anymore. i cant control my metabolism so my apologies for ticking you off bc im skinner than you. whats in the past is in the past, but the sht they said about depression really pisses me off. for those of you who genuinely dont understand what its like to be depressed or have any sort of mental illness, read what i have to say the quit judging people

we didnt choose to be depressed, so dont just say 'just ignore it and move on' because how can you ignore taunting thoughts that repeat in your mind constantly? 'nobody needs me; why does it hurt so much?; how did it all come to be like this?; will i be this lonely forever?; and theres soo much more to that. thats what goes through our minds. telling us to just get better is like telling a person with a broken leg to just walk to the hospital. you think its pathetic for us to self harm, but our situation is so shtty that its the only thing we can resort to in order to shut out our thoughts and mental pain bc thats how much it hurts. im not saying this for every single depressed person out there, but im pretty sure everyone can relate

being depressed is like being trapped between a mind that wants to die and a body that wants to survive; get it? its a constant war that feels like itll never end and you cant do much about it. we try to stay strong, really, but its not as easy as you think. we act like we're okay and guess what, the saying "im fine" is the most common lie ive heard and told. for me, whenever i say im fine, im never telling the truth. i just dont want to open up to people who dont really care. i dont want to give you something to worry about, so i just lie. mental illnesses have its little side affects too and just saying, even the smallest things can build up through time and start rolling back to the person in a few days or even a few years that form a depression episode. quit making people feel insecure about themselves bc you will affect they way they see themselves. my brother told me my teeth are ugly when i was eight. sure, hes my brother and siblings say rude crap all the time, but that stuck with me. i cover my mouth whenever i laugh, talk or smile. i wore leggings in middle school and was told i have 'meaty thighs,' i saw it as being told im fat. it didnt stop me from wearing shorts and leggings, but it lowered my self esteem and security. theres more to it

id just like to throw in a few things that i say a lot but are never true;
i already ate = im starving myself / i feel fat and by starving myself, i feel skinnier
im fine = im not, help me
leave me alone = show me you care enough to stay
i hate him/her = i either mean it or i miss them
im getting better = im getting worse

i have trust issues because im tired of telling secrets even to the people i really trusted and having my own words used against me later on. i used to be quiet and reserved because i was shy yet wanted to make friends. now im quiet because ive been turned town and left to rot by everyone in the room and theres nobody i can call a close friend. i dont cry for attention, not at all. if anything, i avoid crying at all costs. crying in front of everyone means im weak, and thats something i dont want to show. i dont want to spark attention and rumors, but if i cry without making it to the bathroom first, i have no control over it. all my emotions ive locked up are pouring out and are past its limit when im depressed, im fragile. when im touched by the wrong people, i break so easily and takes days or even weeks for me to put myself back together. i see it as a war. my self harm scars are my battle scars and the fact that im still alive even after all ive been through is surprising

even when i dont look like im depressed, im most likely dying behind my fake smile. as i mentioned, i just dont want to draw in unwanted attention and special treatment so i just shut it all in until eventually after a few months, ill just have a hysterical breakdown at 2 am, letting out all those bottled up emotions. depression. anger. lament. everything comes out. when thats done, the cycle will eventually repeat

i dont expect you to completely understand how we feel, but you dont know sht about what goes through our mind every morning, throughout the day and late at night so its not your place to judge us

 

[Kinoko]

I know this is kind of an old thread but I just wanted to say that everyone who has shared their experiences has been incredibly brave, and I can definitely relate to a lot of what you guys are saying. From when I was maybe five years old to now, I've always struggled with mental illness. When I was 14-15, I finally got to a professional and was diagnosed with anxiety, major depressive disorder, trichotillomania, and ednos. I got prescribed Prozac and took it for several years, but I kind of weaned off of it this year. Not because I felt like I was "cured", but I just kind of gave up on wanting to make myself feel better. For the past three or four months, though, I've been the happiest I've ever been. I'm 19 now and I do still struggle with those things, but the difference between now and several months ago is that I'm currently very stable and I RARELY have suicidal thoughts and feelings, as opposed to before when I had them 24/7 and had to be hospitalized several times. I think there are a few reasons as to why I feel so much better now, but the biggest ones were moving to Hawaii, going to college every day, and having the best support system I could have (my mom and my boyfriend). My environment has always had a huge impact on my mental health, and I always got so much worse on the east coast during the winter when it was always cold and dark. Here, it's always warm and sunny and I really do think it's been so much better for my depression in particular.
I guess I just wanted to say that it's awesome that you are all sharing your feelings and experiences, and I promise one day many of your struggles will just be bad memories. It sounds super corny lmao and I never believed any of that "it gets better" BS either, but after going through the healing process myself and finally feeling consistently happy I can say it really does get better one day. That doesn't mean that everything will be perfect, because trust me I still have like one or two bad days a week haha. But for the most part, I feel really good. And I hope you all can say the same thing someday!

 

[Celestefey]

I was watching brainPOP XD
I'm currently 11 years old. Crying extra lately cuz um..lady things XD
I get some pretty extreme mood swings. Usually a combination of an "attitude" (according to my dad) and crying

I wouldn't 100% rely on the internet and stuff like that to diagnose yourself. I know self-diagnosis is a touchy issue, but you shouldn't start labelling yourself with mental illnesses and things like that when you may not even know for sure! If you do genuinely think you have ADHD after some time and you do genuinely feel like it is causing problems for you then talk to someone about it! Communication is so vital, and it's a way you can make sure you do get the support you need, rather than relying on what people on the internet says.

And yeah, it's totally normal to have mood swings when you are 11, do not worry! Periods do cause people to have pretty bad mood swings because of hormones and stuff like that, and that's completely fine. It's okay to cry, and it's okay to feel that way. We're all human beings, and our emotions and experiences are valid! And lol "attitude" - I'd ignore your dad when he says stuff like that, in my opinion. ^^

 

[jiny]

I was watching brainPOP XD
I'm currently 11 years old. Crying extra lately cuz um..lady things XD
I get some pretty extreme mood swings. Usually a combination of an "attitude" (according to my dad) and crying

Sure brainPop can be helpful at times, but you shouldn't self-diagnose you if you don't know for sure!

 

[Xerolin]

Btw I took the online test from psych central. I got 36 points. But I get really distracted, hyper, forgetful, and behind in schoolwork.

 

[Miele]

Sure brainPop can be helpful at times, but you shouldn't self-diagnose you if you don't know for sure!

Actually, self-diagnose can help you figure out if you have a mental illness or no. You can read about and if share some qualities, you can diagnose yourself with it. HOWEVER, you shouldn't go on it alone. If you think you have a mental illness, you should get tested and if you tell the doctor that you may have said illness, they will test you for it. (Perks of being a psychology major because it helps you understand self diagnosing)

As for me, I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder, GAD, social anxiety, panic disorder, and selective mutism. I've been diagnosed from the ages of 12-17, and trust me, they are so lame. I can't do a lot of things because of them and I can't enjoy the things I used to enjoy because of them. This is the main reason why I love t?p so much because all of their songs express how I feel and what I'm going through. I usually don't talk about them in real life because I am not comfortable talking about them in person, but I will talk about them online (it's the whole anonymous thing).

 

[milkyi]

I have OCD, and let me tell you it sucks.