Raising a child religious?

[acnh.eclipse]

I've recently had a baby, and 10000000 thoughts have been racing around my brain. One of them is, should I raise my child religious? I was raised Buddhist, and after a identity crisis I decided to continue practicing my religion as it brought me happiness and peace. But I've had many friends of all different religions say that they hated being forced into a religion! Obviously I would teach him Buddhist stories and if he wants to celebrate festivals with us, she can! But I'm wondering, should I make him pray? Questions like that circle my brain, anyway what do you think about strictly raising your child religious?

 

[ting1984]

Good question, and I might be the best to answer since I'm religious, while husband isn't. (My dad is also religious, and he approved of the marriage between my husband and me, despite some detractors. Biblically, there is much to debate, with how 1 Cor 7 is taken -- but ultimately, since my dad agreed, and we took 1 Cor 7 as an allowance, the detractors have nothing at this point, especially since they're not in authority over me.)

What we have decided with a future child, should we have one next year (which is our plan), is to show him to both sides. We'll explain what I view, what my husband views, and let the child decide for himself/herself in due time. Since I'm conservative Lutheran, baptism is important, so husband has allowed infant baptism. As for confirmation, etc., that would come later, if child so chooses. Either way, he/she will learn about faith differences, and why people come to so many different conclusions on these matters. Let's face it, even most conservative Protestant American Christians disagree on religious views (is it a religion or relationship? Co Wo or liturgy? Infant or adult baptism? End times or amillennial/postmillennial? Modesty or no modesty? Women work, or no women work? Etc etc etc), so it's no surprise that it will be an uphill battle for whatever child comes into the picture.

 

[visibleghost]

Religion plays an important part in the lives of billions of people around the world. A large part of religion is cultural, which is important for identity and such. At the same time, there are plenty of people who do not care for it. There's no real way to know what your child will grow up to feel, identify with or want. Making the right choice for them specifically isn't really possible at this stage.

There are definitely people who grew up in a religious household and grew to dislike the religion and distance themselves from it, meanwhile there are also people who carried the religion into their own lives and families.

I cannot say "do this" or "do that" because I don't know the right choice either, but I would suggest not forcing your child into religion. It is one thing to take your child to places of worship, tell stories of religion, celebrate religions holidays and so on, but another thing entirely to force them to join into religious activities (like prayer) they may or may not want to engage in.

I am personally not a religious person whatsoever and I do not care for it. I am glad I wasn't raised more religiously than I was (we went to church sometimes for holidays or celebrations (think weddings, funerals, confirmation) and my parents told me stories from the Bible and old testament) and I think I would have a greater aversion to religion if I was truly forced into it rather than just lightly pushed like I was. That's different for different people, though, and I respect that religion is important in the lives of many other people.

Basically, I guess, do what feels right to you, but do not force it on them. Let them figure out what part religion should play in their life on their own.

 

[Flyffel]

It sounds like you already found the right approach! Religions have lots of valuable lessons for humanity. Ultimately it's not important whether their belief-based claims (about stuff like the existence of gods and afterlife) are true or not, what's really important is how they can shape people's behaviour in this life - and the message is mostly to be a good, respectable person in society. Of course, pick stories that are up to date and can be understood by children...

So, read those stories. Maybe contrast them with some stories from other religions. Don't present them as accurate historical accounts but talk about what they teach you. And please don't force the child to pray or perform any activities that require faith into anything otherworldly.

 

[MozzarellaSticks]

Ma’am this is an animal crossing forum

I understand wanting help, but this is way too complicated, nuanced, and controversial topic for Brewsters Cafe

 

[Nefarious]

I think it's really important to give them the choice once they are old enough. There's some aspects that can teach some good life lessons for children while they grow, but it's very important to not force your views and beliefs of a higher being onto your kid. I grew up with a catholic mother who forced me to go to church, pray and enrolled me in after school activities despite my eventual protests, when I started questioning whether or not there was a god. It got to the point where we would have screaming matches about it and I grew to really dislike religions as a result. I think what you have planned out already, giving them the choice, is pretty good. They'll eventually figure out whether or not it's for them at their own pace, and decide to participate further if they choose to.

 

[GothiqueBat]

As someone who grew up being made to attend Christian church every week and be a part of that. I'm no longer exactly religious. -it became to feel more like a chore and gradually lost all spiritual feelings towards it.

However that sense of community really helped and was a good big part of my life when I was a little little kid and it was comforting to know there were people who cared about me other than my family? Like they sort of were just one big family? That's an experience I think a lot of people who are not raised religiously are missing out on. (obviously depends on communities but I'd assume most are somewhat similar)

So I'd say yes it is a good idea to at least involve them in the community so they feel like they're part of something. Though if you do, you shouldn't *force* them to prayer or do anything like that, that should be a choice they make themselves because to them it feels like the right thing to do. Like with so many other things, once you start forcing someone to do something that'll most likely give it a bad accosiation on it's own.

 

[LadyDestani]

As a non-religious person, my opinion is that you should share your religion with your child but not force them into it. It is obviously something deeply personal and important to you and it could become something important to your child as well. So exposing them to religion is not a bad thing. Share stories with them, include them in religious celebrations, etc. However, keep an open mind and if your child begins to question religion or no longer wants to partake in it, give them the space they need to figure things out for themselves.

You stated yourself that you went through an identity crisis but then went back to your religion. Your child may experience something similar so treat them the same way you would have wanted to be treated and let them know that you accept them regardless of whether they choose to stick with your religion, choose a different religion, or give up religion altogether. I can tell from some of your posts that you love your child, so I'm sure you will always be there to support them no matter what.

 

[Mairen]

Congratulations on your new baby! I would suggest to introduce your religion and views to your child, but dont "force" them upon him/her. Explain what you believe, why you follow it, how it makes you happy, etc, but also explain that there are many different religions and beliefs in the world and if they choose something different, it's okay and you'll still love him/her, etc. It's what I would personally do anyways.

 

[*The Oakboro Mayor*]

Aw congrats on your baby eclipse! I was raised religious and a lot of my other friends were as well. I don't see anything wrong with raising a baby with religion, but that might be because all I've even know is being raised into a religion. My take on it is that if you really care for your child's feelings, then once they are old enough they can make that decision (if they want to keep practicing or dive into and research a new faith).
I like to think of John Mulaney when I think of this idea! He was raised Roman Catholic by his parents, and he isn't thrilled (you could say that) with how he was forced into everything. At least for me, when you are young you don't really have a say in things. You get taken to wherever you hold ceremonies or prayer and you are just there because you can't really make decisions on your own. I was raised Christain by the way! But when you are 14, you kind of get pressured by the church and by your family to be confirmed in the church, and that really sucks. I felt like I didn't really have a say in if I wanted to be a part of a church that the minister didn't share pretty crucial views of the world with, but I guess that's how it goes for a lot of kids. I say don't force your kid into anything, and just start him off religious in the early years and let him make his own decisions as time goes on. I'm so happy for you and your family, and I know that whatever the decision, it will be a good one because there kind of isn't a wrong answer!

 

[Midoriya]

Even though I am religious and a Christian, I agree with most others here. You can introduce them to the religion, but don’t force them to partake in it. I stated in another thread in the past that I don’t believe in pushing your religion onto others, but rather keep an open mind and answer questions someone may have about your religion if they’re curious about it. Neither my family nor anyone else forced me to be a Christian. It is something I chose for myself.

 

[MasterM64]

To start off, congratulations! Growing up religious (Christian), I believe that religion plays an important role in someone finding their way in the world and having a moral compass. Having faith in something can make all the difference in the world especially when times get tough (like this year for countless people). The key though is to ensure that religion does not promote ignorance and intolerance which can be damaging to the child's future relationships and success. Critical thinking skills and being considerate/respectful to others are important especially if you are in a free society where you interact with people of all walks of life (not sure where you reside in the world). Keep in mind too that the child ultimately will walk their own path down the road even if it is something you may not entirely agree with. Ultimately, it is up to you as a parent to do what truly is best for the child to ensure they are ready to be an independent adult when that time comes. Hope this helps and wish you the absolute best!

 

[slzzpz]

Just teach the child your Buddhist ways and if they choose to stop once they're older, then that's their choice and I'm sure you'd be ok with it.


At the end of the day, the way I see it, are they being taught to be a good human being?

 

[Jessi]

In my personal opinion I think parents should keep religion out of their kids childhood. They don't understand stuff like this.

I reccomend waiting until they're olde enough to understand, and introduce them to it. Don't force, and don't be upset if they don't wanna follow. All I gotta say

 

[amemome]

My two cents: It's ok to introduce your child to religion, but once they express that they don't want to pray/ don't believe in <<religious entity>>, please let them peacefully stop. Support their choices. Allow them to explore. And let them know you love them regardless of you not sharing the faith.

My parents did not let me stop and it causes a lot of friction and resentment to this day (my parents love to mention how I need to hold God's hand right this second right NOW!!). But the good thing is I was able to pave the way for my younger siblings to be met with less fuss when they decided to leave the religion.

 

[nightglow]

Just how I see things, You can teach your child about your religion without forcing it on them. You can have them pray with you, but if they insist on not wanting too, then you probably shouldn't. You can encourage but not force. You should probably talk it out to see if there was something going on or to know why. Most kids don't kick back on their parent's religious views until they get older to where they start thinking for themselves anyway.
Regardless of whatever deity someone believes in or lack of or whatever philosophy, it doesn't do much good to force anyone into that. Honestly you could just have them participate until they get to an age where they start thinking for themselves like age 14. They are their own person. You can show them things, teach them things, but you can't make someone do or be something and you shouldn't.
And showing them things and teaching them things is good even if they decide they aren't going to go that way as they get older.

 

[Mr_Persona]

If you want to then l think it's a great idea!

Post automatically merged: Nov 19, 2020

Ma’am this is an animal crossing forum

I understand wanting help, but this is way too complicated, nuanced, and controversial topic for Brewsters Cafe

Don't you think you should fix your title status. It's very unknown like l see bunch of codes from symbols. Letting you know because lot of people had to change their status after the forums updated.

 

[Mick]

Hey, congratulations! That's awesome.

I agree with others here that religion should be a personal choice. As someone who didn't have this choice and was heavily forced into a religion, I can tell you what that was like: It led to a lot of arguing and a very unstable relationship with my parents. Because as I grew older, I found different world views that made more sense to me, but I didn't manage to convince my parents to let me make my own choice until I was 18. Since it was so forced, all religious activities became a chore, and while I had made my choice before reaching my teens, this certainly didn't help motivate me give religion a bigger chance.

I don't think withholding the concept of religion entirely is good either. Being raised this way did help me understand a certain way of thinking and dealing with the world. I believe it taught me the concepts behind unconditional love, compassion and openness, basically how to be a good person. And I still strive to be one, just not for someone higher up.

So I definitely say go for it, explain how you see the world and invite him to tag along. Just prepare for the fact that they may not end up sharing your exact world views, and if that happens please don't handle it the way my parents did. I'm sure you have many questions, but I believe you got this just fine.

 

[slzzpz]

Ma’am this is an animal crossing forum

I understand wanting help, but this is way too complicated, nuanced, and controversial topic for Brewsters Cafe

Well, isn't that what this section of the forum is for? Also, I'm pretty sure the conversation we had about smoking weed was more controversial than this considering mods got involved. If you have no input in regards to OP's question, why even post?

 

[tessa grace]

[deleted]