Skills You Were Forced to Learn?

[DarkDesertFox]

Have you ever had change in your life that made you learn certain skills in order to adapt? For example, my job involves a lot of phone calls and talking on the phone was something I was horrible at before. After doing it day after days for years, I am much better at communicating over the phone. I was also forced to pretty much be able to learn how to multitask if I ever wanted to get anything done on time. These were just a couple of skills I had to learn in order to survive at my current job. What about you? Did you have a job that also made you learn certain skills? Did you have to learn how to do certain things when living on your own you never did before?

 

[VanitasFan26]

(sigh) I really hate talking about this, but I have to say it. In school I was forced to learn social skills. Now with that said me being an introvert made this much harder on me. I was forced to be in group sections and whenever people ask me questions like "What do you in do in life?" and "Have you done anything amazing?" There are times I was trying to say things but it always comes out as like "Well um stuff I guess" I was very awkward and it made me sick to my stomach.

Then even times when I try to talk everyone just give me a look of "We don't care what you have to say" and then I am left being ignored, which didn't bother me because quite frankly I didn't even want to be in this group anyway. Thats why its hard for me to have social skills whenever a job asks me how well I do, but its something I struggle with all the time. Mainly because I suffer from anxiety, depression, and I'm autistic.

At the end of the day, I just learned to be myself and not let people try to change me for who I am. I am introvert and I choose to be around with the right people and not let people decide for me. Its rare because I only know a few who understands me pretty well, but for the vast majority in real life don't seem to get it most of the time.

 

[amemome]

For a job I had back in the day, I ended up learning how to use adobe illustrator to make pinback buttons and stuff. It was a lot of fun and now I use illustrator a lot in my design work!

 

[Bluebellie]

I have a situation similar to you. My job position is also telesales. I hate talking on the phone, and would rather speak in person. Before I took the job, I don’t think my communication skills were all that great. I honestly never even thought of having this job as an option since I’m quite shy and at times antisocial. I do very well in this job though, but It’s something I had to adapt to. A job recruiter told me to try it out. The pay was good, and I needed a job. I’ve been here for 5 years now.

 

[Mr_Persona]

(sigh) I really hate talking about this, but I have to say it. In school I was forced to learn social skills. Now with that said me being an introvert made this much harder on me. I was forced to be in group sections and whenever people ask me questions like "What do you in do in life?" and "Have you done anything amazing?" There are times I was trying to say things but it always comes out as like "Well um stuff I guess" I was very awkward and it made me sick to my stomach.

Then even times when I try to talk everyone just give me a look of "We don't care what you have to say" and then I am left being ignored, which didn't bother me because quite frankly I didn't even want to be in this group anyway. Thats why its hard for me to have social skills whenever a job asks me how well I do, but its something I struggle with all the time. Mainly because I suffer from anxiety, depression, and I'm autistic.

At the end of the day, I just learned to be myself and not let people try to change me for who I am. I am introvert and I choose to be around with the right people and not let people decide for me. Its rare because I only know a few who understands me pretty well, but for the vast majority in real life don't seem to get it most of the time.

I can relate to the social skill thing and i never had any problems with social skills at all. They only did that to me because I have autism but I'm at the beginning of the spectrum which means i don't have it badly. But I fought back and they were surprised and that's how I got out of the social thing and groups. They were optional afterwards.

 

[Croconaw]

I was forced to learn dumb things in school that couldn’t help you later in life, unlike learning how to do taxes or fill out a check, for example. I can relate to the social skills. I hated being forced to work in groups when clearly nobody wanted to work with me. I hated being forced to communicate with those that bullied me. I was even forced (literally) to go to a social event in school and made to feel bad about it for trying to refuse. The person forcing me was the school therapist, so that was ****ty. I mentioned the whole story somewhere here once, but this was unacceptable for any kind of therapist.

I’m a lot better at social skills now and I actually enjoy it. I think I was just around the wrong types of people. I can’t be friends with people who just refuse to be friends with me, or that I’m not compatible with. That’s not how friendship works. I prefer adulthood because it’s not constant bullying for something you can’t control. People are mature as adults, mostly.

 

[skarmoury]

I know this is something everyone should learn, but man time management was something I HAD to learn real quick in med school. In high school and uni I was kind of a laid back person, just a few exams and projects here and there, the requirements weren’t super crazy and I managed to get good grades on top of them. I always had time for extra curriculars and social life before. But med school gave me whiplash, suddenly we had weekly exams, group discussions, papers, projects, patient interactions, etc. that it’s very hard to be the laid-back person I once was. I rarely have weekends off because a lot of subjects liked scheduling exams on a Monday, and I used to like weekends because they were my rest days. ; ; I also had to learn how to absorb info fast because trying to do all those fancy re-writing notes thing is so time-consuming and I couldn’t afford that. A technique I learned that helped me recently was watching someone do the pomodoro technique (60-10), it actually helped me become more focused with my tasks.

I guess in hindsight the time (and stress) management should help me in the future. I don’t even know if I’m prepared for clerkship next semester, but I just know it’s going to be hell, especially with the pandemic still going.

 

[justina]

One thing that I can think of off the top of my head is cooking. When my grandmother passed my mom became very depressed and cooking dinner became very difficult for her. I had to learn how to cook to feed my family. I’m really glad I learned because I enjoy cooking a lot now. I remember one of the first meals I made for my family (pasta and meatballs) and I was kinda stressed making sure the timing on everything was right haha. Now I love trying new recipes out and watching YouTube videos on how to cook stuff. I think cooking is a very essential skill to have. Eating out is just really too expensive these days. Plus you also have to trust that whoever is cooking your food isn’t sick and is practicing good food safety.

 

[VanitasFan26]

One thing that I can think of off the top of my head is cooking. When my grandmother passed my mom became very depressed and cooking dinner became very difficult for her. I had to learn how to cook to feed my family. I’m really glad I learned because I enjoy cooking a lot now. I remember one of the first meals I made for my family (pasta and meatballs) and I was kinda stressed making sure the timing on everything was right haha. Now I love trying new recipes out and watching YouTube videos on how to cook stuff. I think cooking is a very essential skill to have. Eating out is just really too expensive these days. Plus you also have to trust that whoever is cooking your food isn’t sick and is practicing good food safety.

You know what really triggered me? I found out that the school I went to never had a cooking class, but then someone told me that the school they went to in another state had cooking lessons. I was so upset thinking "Well why didn't I get that" and my dad always keeps asking me "Why didn't you learn how to cook?" and I have to tell him "because the school never had a cooking class". Ugh.....my school life was a joke.....

 

[Neb]

In the first grade I had to take a handwriting class since mine was barely legible. I was given red and blue ruled paper and told to copy basic sentences. I managed to improve my handwriting enough within a year, but one of my friends had to do it until he graduated Elementary school.

 

[LadyDestani]

Over the course of years at my job, I have learned to act more extroverted. I say 'act' rather than 'be' because I'm still very much an introvert and the interactions are very draining, but I had to learn to deal with constant interruptions, questions, and unexpected pop-ups at my desk and keep a smile on face through it all. There's a lot of collaboration in my job as a business analyst so it's important that I be available for others.

I also had to learn to write SQL queries for the same job. It's still my least favorite part of the job and I'm only passable at it, but I can do it. I can read other people's queries and understand them, though, so I make it through by saving every query I come across and transferring the parts I need to my queries with little tweaks here and there.

 

[Midoriya]

I have been forced to learn some skills in the past such as time management, but most of my skills I acquired on my own. That’s why I wouldn’t really call them “forced”.

 

[Kamex]

I had to learn to be more organized at school. In grade school, I had bad time management habits that caused me to struggle academically, so eventually I had to develop better organization skills. I learned to keep my papers for school well-placed and labeled in my binder rather than just stashing them inside so I don't lose them. I also learned to jot down my homework in my agenda, make new routines, keep schedules, and develop better time-management skills by not procrastinating. Now as an adult, I keep to-do lists to stay on track of my priorities and it helps me tremendously. Additionally, I keep all of my video games well-organized so I don't lose them, especially my DS game chips that are so small. Honestly, organization is an essential skill everyone should have and it helps me be more productive with life overall.

 

[Alienfish]

Social/communication skills I suppose. Even though I worked more in libraries than stores, I think that's a good one. Also I think I'll never be good at receiving phone calls, I just hate it. Just get to me IRL or send me a text.

 

[Chris]

Leadership and public speaking.

I'm a scientist with a film production background. Both fields have required honing the ability to lead a project and present research/pitch ideas.

 

[MelanieScribbles]

Standing up for myself in no unclear terms.

I don't like talking about this, but I was a really shy child and teenager. My autism wasn't diagnosed back then, and I'm a bit of an introvert to begin with. And a lot of toxic people I've met during my life made a darned crusade out of 'forcing me out of my shell'. Like, they'd legit harass me for months on end about ONE upcoming social event, and that's sadly not a hyperbole. Some people really don't know the meaning of the word no, and they can't exactly take a hint either. Like, they don't take something like 'sorry, parties are not my thing' or 'my schedule is way too busy' for an answer, you have to downright have a 'What don't you understand about the word 'no?' kind of attitude with some people to get them to finally relent. Even after like 50 clear refusals, they just keep asking and asking until you finally break. And after a while, you can't even hold a normal conversation with them anymore.

It would go something like this:
'Hey, how's the coffee?'
'Good. So have you changed your mind about the party yet?'
'Not really. So, have you made any progress on that report due for Biology yet? I'm putting the final touches on mine during computer lab in a bit, because I really didn't manage to finish everything last night.'
'Are you sure? Oh, you MUST, you'll have so much fun! I won't take no for an answer this time!'
All in a friendly sort of tone, but that would go on for legit months. There was no ghosting these people either, because they'd come to ME first, not the other way around. So to adapt, I've learned that you really need to tell some people off in order to finally get them off your back.

So over time, I've learned to read these kinds of people better, and analyze what kind of tactics I'm dealing with. And from there, I know how to both gracefully turn them down, but show them for the jerk they are if they keep pushing me. They know they'll look like the bad guy if I do, I'll know, and that's more then enough. No need to publicly humiliate them or anything drastic, but they still need to learn that they can't just keep crossing people's boundaries lie that without any consequences. All I need is for both them and me to know what's going on. And while I'm usually a kind woman, I won't hesitate to be that life lesson for them.

Not to mention that it's kind of sad if the autistic person has a better sense of social etiquette and boundaries of others then a supposedly neurotypical self-described extravert. If even I can do that, then these people really have no excuse for this kind of behavior.

 

[justina]

You know what really triggered me? I found out that the school I went to never had a cooking class, but then someone told me that the school they went to in another state had cooking lessons. I was so upset thinking "Well why didn't I get that" and my dad always keeps asking me "Why didn't you learn how to cook?" and I have to tell him "because the school never had a cooking class". Ugh.....my school life was a joke.....

That is really upsetting that your school didn’t have a cooking class! I almost think kids should be required to take a basic home economics class to learn basic things. Sadly we live in a world where both parents must work so nobody has time to teach their kid basic things like cooking,laundry,basic car repairs etc. Thank goodness for YouTube!

 

[Stikki]

I work in screenwriting. I think the most important thing I learned that nobody else would think about outside of my industry - making sure an episode fits the time frame. This means not being at all precious about "art", because what might seem like the finished product has to have parts cut and sometimes rewritten very last minute on set when something hasn't worked during filming, or they need extra scenes written to fill the time slot. It's not as easy as it sounds, because you still have to ensure it makes sense and isn't obvious.

Kinda weird watching tv now, because I fully notice when a random scene that wasn't really needed pops up, whereas I didn't really notice it before screenwriting became my profession.

 

[Burumun]

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who was forced to learn to speak on the phone for their job, although for me, it was between that and having to call all my doctors regularly because of the pandemic, rather than just going to get prescriptions and whatnot in-person. I've also figured out using a headset with my phone and writing out notes before I call help immensely, as well.

 

[LittleMissPanda]

I wasn't very sociable or likeable at school but thanks to my job (thanks job.....) I had to force myself to work on basic communication/social skills and also to multitask (which only amplified my OCD tendold) I had this thing about looking people in the eye (admittedly still do but now it's only when I'm really angry/upset/annoyed and not because I feel inferior to the other person, as I was a terribly shy person) but I've improved upon it overtime, and I also learned to speak up and not be afraid to raise my voice, since I can be real softspoken at times. Even so, I could never truly kick my introverted habits, as it's a firm part of who I am.