What an oddly cruel piece of the mind.
I frequently have realistically vivid dreams, even if they aren't truly realistic based on content, but every now and again out of nowhere my mind forces her back into the forefront of my mind.
I've not done very good four years now getting over the fact that things didn't end up well, even though I really need to get over it. The problem stems from these dreams.. I'll be doing good moving on, getting somewhere with forwarding myself, and I'll have a dream that has me begging for that life again as soon as I wake up, often being the reason I've woken up. I love dreaming and don't want to trade off for life without it, but I feel like maybe my deep subconscious knows something I just don't. Maybe things were meant to be different. Things happen for a reason and all... I just want to be able to let go without my uncontrollable memory parading around in my sleep and ruining my sanity out of nowhere every so often. Every five months or so I get to deal with it, every time we are making up in one way or another, without any effort. Every time I've tried in real life, I get shot down faster than I can take off.
I'm lost and don't know what to do. Hopefully the new distance will be a catalyst to forwarding my recovery on the matter. It really bites to feel obsessive.
I frequently have realistically vivid dreams, even if they aren't truly realistic based on content, but every now and again out of nowhere my mind forces her back into the forefront of my mind.
I've not done very good four years now getting over the fact that things didn't end up well, even though I really need to get over it. The problem stems from these dreams.. I'll be doing good moving on, getting somewhere with forwarding myself, and I'll have a dream that has me begging for that life again as soon as I wake up, often being the reason I've woken up. I love dreaming and don't want to trade off for life without it, but I feel like maybe my deep subconscious knows something I just don't. Maybe things were meant to be different. Things happen for a reason and all... I just want to be able to let go without my uncontrollable memory parading around in my sleep and ruining my sanity out of nowhere every so often. Every five months or so I get to deal with it, every time we are making up in one way or another, without any effort. Every time I've tried in real life, I get shot down faster than I can take off.
I'm lost and don't know what to do. Hopefully the new distance will be a catalyst to forwarding my recovery on the matter. It really bites to feel obsessive.
