The Internet's Worst Advice Column

[Neb]

Disguise yourself as a female mosquito to make them think they’re stinging one of their own kind.

How can drink iced coffee without looking basic?

 

[Hypno KK]

Pretend you're doing it ironically.

How can I get my Switch's battery to last forever?

 

[frogslime]

Pack if with more than recommended
Surely nothing bad could come of it

How do I start liking something I don’t

 

[moo_nieu]

stop surrounding yourself with things you enjoy, so whatever you don't like seems better

how can I teach my dog to dance?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Why would you? Force them on how to drive a car so you don't have to.

How do I make everyone agree that onions are the best vegetable?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Feed us all onions.

how do I escape from a herd of deer that want to keep me with them?

 

[Xara]

you go socialize with your new friends,,

should i do my math homework?

 

[Clock]

Ask someone to do it for you
Best way to paint nails?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Use a paint roller brush.

How to heat up my food quickly?

 

[Midoriya]

Throw it into the sun.

How do I eat a good breakfast?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Microwave all your sugary sweets and eat them all in one bite.

I have so much food. What can I do with the extras?

 

[frogslime]

Donate them to a charity feed them to the zoo wildlife

Legs hurt, need help

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Ya got any stairs in your house? Try tumbling down them and break all the other parts of your body - that way, your legs won't feel as bad!

I wanna learn how to play that guitar solo in "Free Bird" one day. How the **** do I do it?

 

[Clock]

Learn how to play guitar, then listen to the music on loop and practice until you're able to play it.
How do I cook?

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

I'm going to teach you how to make some good ol' well-done steak.
First, take some meat out, a pan, and some matches.
Put the meat in the pan.
Light the match.
Throw the match in the pan with the meat.
Watch your meat cook, and enjoy some nice steak!
(pretty much set it on fire)

How do I swim?

 

[Shellzilla_515]

Flap your arms vigorously so you get tired pretty quickly and sink.

My joycons are drifting on their own! How do I stop them?

 

[Dawnpiplup]

Call an exorcist.

I wanna be a secret spy like Ethan Hunt in Mission Impossible! How do I get recruited?

 

[Your Local Wild Child]

Scream outside the headquarters’ door, preferably with pots and pans!

My tent sprung a leak! How do I fix it?

 

[frogslime]

Take the leak and add it to your stew. I heard you don't have the best food!

I don't have any bananas, what do I do?

 

[Aneesh1729]

Eat one out of the trash
,how do I prove ln(2) is irrational