The Internet's Worst Advice Column

Go to Evwirt, grab a beehive (they’re everywhere) and squeeze the honey out of the comb!

How do I heal a beesting without medicine?
 
You get in the car, think happy thoughts, and make lots of "VROOM VROOM!" noises.
What's the best way to move a piano?
 
Speak gibberish until it resembles something sounding like a new language. Alternatively, you could start speaking the language my friend and I came up with called “JakeStateFarmanese”. The only three words in the language are “Jake,” “State,” and “Farm,” so... have fun with that I guess.

How do I give the worst advice in this thread?
 
Go outside, look around, spot a bird and yell, "Hey, you! C'mere!" It'll come right down and land on your shoulder. Works every time.

How do I learn another language?
 
Watch hours upon hours of subtitled media from the country of which they speak your language. You should be able to form some sentences...

How do I earn TBT quickest?
 
Hack into someone else's account on this forum and make a transaction from theirs to your account.

How do I stay warm?
 
Well, it depends. The this you’re talking about could be anything. It could be this, or that, or that over there, even those. But if it‘s not any of this, that, or those, perhaps it’s these. To work it you must work it work it out! Don’t stop working it until you find this, that, those, or these. If it’s not ANY of those, then perhaps it’s those over there. Or that right here. Or even this mixed with that. The combinations are endless! So many ways it could end. Kind of like the Stanley Parable. In case you‘re wondering, yes, I did just waste five to ten minutes of my life writing this.

How do I write short stories?
 
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