The KiloPatches Advice Column and Q&A Thread!
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KiloPatches
Senior Member
I set what are called S.M.A.R.T. Goals:
S - Specific
M - Measurable
A- Attainable
R - Realistic
T - Time-bound
To say "Study Abnormal Psych" is not a SMART Goal. To say, "Study Abnormal Psych, Chapter 8, pages 120-156, from 2-4pm on Wednesday and take note of key terms and definitions" IS a SMART goal. Its more specific, its measurable (page numbers), its attainable, its realistic for me to read that many pages in that time frame, and its time -bound, because it has to be done by 4pm.
Setting rewards as well motivates me. I like small rewards, even as simple as stickers and checkmarks to track my progress on mini goals on projects.
I have 2 planners. One is my agenda: http://polestarcalendars.com/calendars/original-student-calendar-2015/
Another one I drafted myself where each week has 3 pages. THe first page is Monday to Friday, a timetable from 8am - 10pm. I block in all my classes and appointments first, then I go on to "plan my study time" by blocking out sections of times to do my reading (like the SMART goal above). THe next 2 pages is where I write down exactly what I will do in those blocked out sections. One column says "Time" the other says "Task". So I would put "2-4pm" under time and "Abnormal chapter 8" under "Task". Then the next three pages start with a time table and 2 pages of Study Plan, etc, etc....
Being Emotionally motivated is tricky. Especially lately. I have been doing my best to put time on task and sticking to my study plan as finals approach. Some days are better than others, and I can be WAY more productive on certain days than others, usually when I am less anxious.
- - - Post Merge - - -
Its not much of a living, really, but it pays enough to survive biweekly I guess.
I work as a Teaching Assistant (TA) and Research Assistant (RA). I have been a TA for 3 years and an RA for 4 years.
As a TA I help with lecture preparation and assist the professor with marking as well as hosting study sessions and going over test results with students, and holding office hours. I work more hours in that job than I get paid for.
My RA job allows me to research topics and write manuscripts that will later be put into a course textbook for the class I TA for. The textbook is in its 3rd edition. I have written 3 chapters in it, and I have edited and revised the whole thing. Each year I add new material and comb through it for and errors and fact check everything. For the chapters I have written, 1. Medieval Universities, 2. Moorish Spain, and 3. Darwin and Evolution, the professor has brought me in to lecture on those topics because I am more well versed in the material than he is. My last lecture was on September 29t. It was my 5th lecture and it went REALLY well. I know now that I want my PhD and to be a professor. I got excellent positive feedback from the students. Its really encouraging.
So yeah..... that is what I do "for a living" but mostly I go to school. I am a university student, full-time.
InfinityFlames
rainbowcherry is a slug.
Thanks for the advice again
KiloPatches
Senior Member
Thanks for the advice again
My pleasure! Come back anytime, you are always welcome
- - - Post Merge - - -
I am sorry you are feeling so miserable. Did something happen recently that made you miserable? A stressful event? A Loss (like a Death or a Breakup)? Something anxiety-provoking? Are you feeling overwhelmed?
If you can be more specific, I can help you out a little easier. Feel free to PM your situation if you aren't comfortable making it public.
In the mean time, make a "wellness toolbox". It can be a shoe box filled with things that make you happy, but even better, make a deck of cards (index cards), and google image search your favourite things (playing ACNL, Playing Smash Bros, Playing MK8, drinking tea, yoga, meditating, going for walks in by the river, playing with my dog or cat (and get a photo of your dog or cat), going to coffee shops, playing the guitar, writing poetry, journalling, reading, listening to music......) whatever it is you like to do, you can usually find an image to fit that activity. Paste those images into a word processor, colour print those images, paste them onto your cards, shuffle the deck, and pick a card and force yourself to do that activity when you are feeling blue. Do this as many times as you like.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
I have another answer for you:
Delaying Gratification. Its scientifically proven. Walter Mischel did a study in 1993 in children.
He offered the children 2 choices:
1. You can have 1 cookie now or....
2. Wait 5 minutes and I will give you 2 cookies.
He did a Longitudinal Study (so he looked at these same children through Adolescence) and he found that the children (now adolescents) who chose option #2 and were able to Delay Gratification, were...
Less likely to be sidetracked by minor setbacks
More likely to exhibit self-control in frustrating situations
Copes well with important problems
Capable of doing well academically when motivated
Less likely to yield to temptations
When faced with a choice, less likely to settle for the immediate but less desirable choice
More able to pursue goals when motivated
Intelligent
When motivated, is capable of exhibiting self-control in tempting situations
Skilled in maintaining friendships and getting along with peers
Not distractible when trying to concentrate
Capable of exhibiting self-control when frustrated
Can effectively pursue goals.
Can divert attention from the frustration from having to postpone a desired gratification while continuing to pursue it.
What I am trying to say, is that Delaying Gratification is key when it comes to Procrastination and Staying Motivated.
Set a SMART Goal, as I said before, and do your best to Delay Gratification of your reward that you want to do to procrastinate with (ie: lurk on TBT - like I am doing right now! - play a video game, watch TV, etc) and do the task you NEED to do FIRST and delay your reward until your task is complete.
Does that make sense?
Other studies have shown that people who can delay gratification have better SAT scores, and can deal better with pain, stress, and severe life crises.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
How's your day going?
Well, I slept in again, went grocery shopping, got my cats some litter and cleaned their litter box, my boyfriend did a bunch of dishes which was nice, and JUST NOW I finished my Personality Psycoanalysis Assisnment that has been stressing me out so much. So that's a load off my mind.
Tomorrow I have to Proctor an Exam from Noon-3:00pm. Then Grade from 3:00pm - 5:30pm. Ugh.... no time to study.... Hopefully I can wakeup in time and not feel drowsy!
My boyfriend just made a simple dinner for us: Kraft Dinner and Hot Dogs. We are REALLY broke at the moment. -__-" So I am eating that now.
- - - Post Merge - - -
No, I do not believe that College/University is for everyone. I am working on a Social Commentary called "From the Tears of War". It basically says that everyone is born wit certain gifts, talents, skills and abilities and it it our responsibility to find out what your talents are, pursue them and get a career in them - DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE. I hate it when people go to Med School just because their parents want them do and their heart isn't truly in it, or they are in it for the money. No. My boyfriend is in university with me, and over the summer he works in the tile industry - he lays tile and carpet and flooring. Some of the guys there have degrees, but many are just damn talented in the trades. And passionate about it too! And they do AWESOME work! We NEED tile people. Just like we need plumbers. Just like we need Optometrists and just like we need Lawyers. DO SOMETHING YOU LOVE. Don't worry about the money or what your parents say. If what you love doesn't require a College degree, then don't worry about it. Pursue a career that will earn you money so you can live comfortably and be financially stable while also feeling fulfilled and happy with what you do. If more people loved their jobs the world would be a better place.
Bad habits? Nail biting for sure. I am notorious. I get really anxious and I bite my nails a lot. Also the inside of my lips and cheek, sometimes till they bleed, when I am nervous. My cuticles have bled too.
How to get rid of them?
This reminds me of a talk I had with my psychologist. Where she stated my suicidal thought patterns were like a bad habit. So add that to the list.
How do you break a bad habit?
1. Become self-aware of you doing it.
2. Recognize the need for change, that it causes you distress, or that it is bad for you.
3. Replace it with something else more positive (like cigarette smokers chew gum for instance when they have a craving)
For my suicide habit I have made a "I want to live" excersize journal thing where instead of dwelling and compulsively repeating, "I want to kill myself, I want to kill myself", instead replace it with an attitude of gratitude, and say "I want to live" like, "I had a great pumpkin spice latte at Starbucks today. I am grateful for the person who made it. "I want to live" - so I can enjoy them again" or "I went to a stand up comedy show tonight. I enjoyed myself. "I want to live" because I like to support my city's amateur comedy group (my boyfriend is one of them) and see other shows in future".
I once heard breaking a nail biting habit is as bad as breaking a heroin addiction. Not sure how true that is..... :S
Hope that helps!
KiloPatches
Senior Member
bump!
KiloPatches
Senior Member
bump!
KiloPatches
Senior Member
There are many different kinds of anger.
Anger turned inwards manifests itself in the form of depression, and can lead to aggressive acts like self-arm behaviours.
Anger towards others can be aggressive too, but obviously inappropriate and can get you into A LOT of trouble wit the police and what not (if you assault someone).
There are many groups out there to help manage emotions, including anger management groups. But what I would suggest is tis strategy:
Whenever you start feeling angry, or any sort of unbearable emotion, use a distractor task:
Quickly choose 5 objects in the room.
For example:
"Okay....
Chair, Poster, Clock, Book, and Keyboard"
Now name 5 characteristics about each of the 5 objects:
"Chair: 4 legs, brown cushion, metal frame, small tear from where the cat scratched it, comfy"
"Poster: GTA V, Trevor, Michael with a gas mask, Chop the dog, Woman taking a selfie"
"Clock: White frame, black numbers, plain-looking, circular, black arms"
"Book: titled "Bipsychology", white textbook in neuropsychology, african-american guy with a shaved head on the cover with neural connections on his brain, written by Pinel, hardcover"
"Keyboard: Black keys, white letters, wireless bluetooth for iPad, Hipstreet brand, on/off switch."
And before you know it your mind will be so distracted on all these neutral things, that you will get your mind off your strong emotions.
Try it out, let me know how it goes.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
bump!
KiloPatches
Senior Member
Hey, Beary,
What you need to do is make your school work less anxiety provoking. As soon as you get that tense feeling, (I get this too - once it happened 4 pages into a textbook when I had intended on reading the whole chapter, I had a panic attack), TAKE A BREAK, go make some tea or coffee, or a sandwich, or play a bit of ACNL (for like 15 minutes only), do a meditation (there are TONS of short ones on Youtube (just search "Guided Meditations" or "Positive Affirmations", and you will find some that are around 10-15 minutes that are good break-time periods. Once you have collected yourself, try again. Set a mini-goal. If its a textbook, see if there is a natural break in the text, like my psychology textbooks have subheadings amidst normal headings. Maybe aim to read one subheading section and reward yourself somehow with some form of praise. If that's too much, a paragraph. Those subheadings accumulate over time and before you know it you might get on a roll and be able to tackle 2 or 3 at a time. But be SURE to take breaks and refuel. You HAVE to make sure you are taking care of you. Set academic goals for the week. As I mentioned in previous posts on "how to stay motivated", setting "S.M.A.R.T. goals". Be sure to be aware of your limits and your capacity at the present moment, and take things one day at a time. Grades are important - speaking from me, they are the MOST important - but from an outsider, they are not everything. And a poor grade isn't the worst thing in the world. A mental breakdown is, somewhat. If you stress yourself out too much and don't take care of you, you are headed down that path. Practice self-care. Make sure you are eating well and sleeping well and all that stuff. Exam season is hard on all of us and we tend to forget those things. *hugs* You'll pull through. Just remember that no matter what, YOU come first.
KiloPatches
Senior Member
bump!
KiloPatches
Senior Member
Mary Joe.
(There is a story to go along with that, but I am sleep deprived so I won't tell it). XDSimilar threads
