The Official Feedback Thread

[Tude]

All I'm gonna say is, an apology in private is not good enough. I heard a quote once that has stuck with me years later, "Make your apology as loud as your disrespect."

I'm not saying anyone was disrespectful. I apply the general spirit of the quote to how I do things. If I were to say something bad in front of others, I would be expected to make amends in front of others. To pull the person I slighted to the side and quietly apologize when I wasn't so quiet wronging them would be unfair. It comes down to owning up to what you do.

There is no excuse for not making a statement. Yes, people have voiced their opinions and that may make you uncomfortable. That's life. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't fun. The longer the situation goes without acknowledgement, the worse the optics.

That being said, maybe the person in question doesn't feel an apology is warranted which, as much time has lapsed, appears to be the case. That is totally valid. Still, silence is not a good look. It would be much more respectable to come out and say you don't feel like you did anything wrong and are not apologizing.

***I have to say, I really like the way @seliph expresses themselves and I wish far more people were like them. People who are REAL are few and far between and we need to treasure them.***

 

[-Apples-]

I was just thinking about this the other day! I would also love to see more heavy participation prizes, like the Lost Book from the island journaling event, or the Key to Bell Tree Manor, which you could unlock heh by completing tasks in all five "rooms" of the haunted house. They still took considerable effort to earn, but without the competitive element of staff favorites.

Can we have animated participation prizes too, like an animated light stick collectible or an animated bubble wand collectible?

 

[xSuperMario64x]

this is really random, but could staff remove the OG "blush" emoji? I use the actual emoji included with the forum's standard emoji set quite a bit, and I find that I really have to go out of my way to use it because, when I type

:blush:

it defaults to the old and somewhat crusty looking blush emoji from TBT's vBulletin days. then I have to manually go into the emoji list and choose the one I want, the one that should be default along with the other emojis.

for reference, this is the one I'm referring to:

idk maybe I'm the only one who has an issue with this, but it is pretty bothersome to me. but if others are insistent on keeping it then I'll just hold my peace haha.

 

[MrBox]

Spoiler: Question about the Unique status for 10, 20, 30 Envelopes

I was wondering if there'd be any consideration to make those not unique- for the option to date trade?

Also I like that blush emote! I don't use those emojis regularly though

 

[seliph]

I like the OG blush! It's cute and a nice throwback along with

Maybe one can be changed to "blushing"?

 

[-Lumi-]

I love the tiny blush emoji!!! Please don't remove him. Maybe they could change the name... to tinyblush or something. He's just a baby!! please don't remove him!!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I love the tiny blush emoji!!! Please don't remove him. Maybe they could change the name... to tinyblush or something. He's just a baby!! please don't remove him!!

I'd considered changing the name of the emoji. tinyblush sounds like a good idea. maybe they could do the same with the lemon face, since that's a TBT icon and I'd hate to see it done away with.

 

[seliph]

All I'm gonna say is, an apology in private is not good enough. I heard a quote once that has stuck with me years later, "Make your apology as loud as your disrespect."

I'm not saying anyone was disrespectful. I apply the general spirit of the quote to how I do things. If I were to say something bad in front of others, I would be expected to make amends in front of others. To pull the person I slighted to the side and quietly apologize when I wasn't so quiet wronging them would be unfair. It comes down to owning up to what you do.

There is no excuse for not making a statement. Yes, people have voiced their opinions and that may make you uncomfortable. That's life. Sometimes we have to do things that aren't fun. The longer the situation goes without acknowledgement, the worse the optics.

That being said, maybe the person in question doesn't feel an apology is warranted which, as much time has lapsed, appears to be the case. That is totally valid. Still, silence is not a good look. It would be much more respectable to come out and say you don't feel like you did anything wrong and are not apologizing.

***I have to say, I really like the way @seliph expresses themselves and I wish far more people were like them. People who are REAL are few and far between and we need to treasure them.***

I'm at the point where I'm conflicted, 'cause I feel like now it's been so long that a public response would just feel empty and pointless. Unless it was some kind of masterfully written post it'd just feel like it was done out of obligation rather than a feeling of sympathy. On the other hand, a response (whether public or private) would still be much better than the "just ignore it and everything will blow over" approach which is still giving the forums a sour taste for me.

Of course it's ultimately not my call and I realize I'm just one out of many who were passively affected, but that's where I'm at with this. Jeremy's response about this particular issue was good, but he's not the person who did the thing and personally if I hurt someone I wouldn't get my friend to apologize for me, you know? So I'm still iffy about it all.

I am trying to be understanding and I realize how this can all be intimidating but the thing I'm stuck on is how they've been very active every day in other parts of the forum. I get that there's things going on in their life and we all need outlets but it's just not a good look and to me it does give off the appearance of not caring.

Also ty for the kind words

 

[sleepey]

I want to say, for the record, that I have spoken privately with a staff contact who addressed the matter with utmost kindness and empathy. I still very much agree with public accountability in principle, but I have understanding as to why that has not happened. Regardless, that much has been helpful enough to repair harm done, personally speaking. I also have faith that these conversations have productively moved us all towards lasting change in moderation practices and staff-community relations.

 

[-Raven-]

I think I’m gonna be blunt this time and say I’ve seen too many people (not on this site, but in my life) not directly apologise for me to trust private or quiet apologies. If you really mean it with apologies, then be proactive about them. And to the credit of several staff, several of them have come out to make posts here, even if it’s not exactly the kind of proactive response I’m thinking of (that’s besides the point really- it’s not 100% but it’s still positive).

I was kinda out the line of fire for everything, seriously all of this has nothing to do with me, but on a personal note this was a terrible time for me to be seeing stuff like this on this place. A couple years ago this site helped me a lot and was a massive comfort space, it took me like half a year to be comfortable when I first joined but it was awesome for another half a year after, I knew it wasn’t going to be the same in current year but honestly now I just feel stressed being here. I don’t even want to be reacting on this site anymore, this is on my perception and not anyone’s fault but, it’s depressing. I’m looking around everywhere I would normally hang out (here or not) and it feels like everywhere I can go is on fire and I find I’m self-isolating. This is still absolutely not a hellsite like some places I’ve been on (I think I’ve managed to prune such communities from my life) but I just don’t want to be here right now.

I think I’m just taking a break from this site and dipping from this thread entirely- like, for good, I don’t have the energy for this thread- because I would expect similar arguments to happen again. Which is natural for an impassioned thread but… how do I put this. I feel like if that happens it’s going to be over the same points. I don’t wanna try to act clairvoyant but at the end of the day I don’t think things have been truly settled, and I just have this gut feeling / pessimism about how arguments get solved or not at a root level, there’s a step in the right direction over the last page and a bit though so definite credit for that. And tbh I don’t handle things like this well because it reminds me of broader issues and some of my more personal struggles. If it was a year or two ago I would have been more hopeful but I’ve had too much trust broken from people outside this site and it feels like those things were a final straw for me. Me from years ago was smarter and more reasonable and would have believed in things being more settled here. Most people seem to be feeling better about it, I’m just one guy. I don’t expect this place to be perfect but I need time to handle myself. I’d like to say more but it would just turn into me personally venting (more than this already is) tbh. I do trust this site / community to have good intent at least which is why I like this place. Good luck.

P.S. if you’re replacing the hug emoji then +1 on bandaged heart, that suggestion is so much better than anything else. I’ve actually been downplaying how much I care about hug because there are more practical issues and frankly I’m never going to understand the other side so I’d be running in circles and I’m saying that’s the one. Gives off the same intent as what I feel from the hug. I’d honestly be disappointed if you guys chose anything else now.

 

[-Apples-]

I have to say, I do enjoy reading this thread, whether the responses were nice, mean, or in between. Not only I can see what the staff have to say about our issues, but we can also discuss any new issues going on the forum in recent times.

The next topic I hope to see get resolved is repeat winners in contests and raffles. I used to think the staff have bias in favor or against select users, but after realizing how many art activities we had in these events (not just number, but also percentage), I agree that these activities should be more varied, which will allow some users who never win staff favorite awards (or won only once) start winning more of these awards. Now I can’t speak for repeat winners in team games since teams can have random people, but these are for those who compete alone.

Another feature I would like to see - the ability to hide threads. This will not just hide threads with topics that make you feel uncomfortable (like political discussions), but also old threads that eventually get bumped. I know the staff allow bumping of old threads for as long as the topic can be discussed, but some users have the tendency to abuse that privilege by engaging in bumping sprees where they excessively bump threads last active six months ago or longer (whether it’s ten old threads in one day or one old thread a day for over a week). Bumping sprees not only annoy me, but I do not like to see any thread last active during the vBulletin Era get bumped for present-day discussion (especially when it was last active when Barack Obama was president). If the staff aren’t going to lock these threads, I think the ability to hide threads would be the best solution. That way, others can post in these threads as they wish, while I can hide them from my view. Now I have gotten a little more tolerant of others bumping old threads in recent times, but I still prefer that only the threads that were last active this decade or had over 1,000 posts get bumped.

And yes, I believe that it’s just as bad to contribute to old threads after they get bumped as it is to bump the old threads. Even if you haven’t bumped the thread or any other thread, posting in these threads is encouraging this behavior.

 

[Croconaw]

Is there a particular reason why regular users can’t lock their own threads? There are a few threads of mine (some more than others) I wish to lock, and even if it’s not erasing them from view, at least they won’t be bumped.

I would love for this to be considered for the future. Of course, staff would still be able to respond to locked threads to my knowledge, at least, so what’s really the harm? /genq

 

[xSuperMario64x]

if I may give a suggestion, maybe have the support react along with the hug react. I love the idea of a support react, and in some situations (especially being mindful to peoples' comfort levels) I feel it is more appropriate. but I also really love the hug react, and I hope it stays.

Post automatically merged: Mar 23, 2025

I'd considered changing the name of the emoji. tinyblush sounds like a good idea. maybe they could do the same with the lemon face, since that's a TBT icon and I'd hate to see it done away with.

also wanted to add to this that the reason why I originally brought this up is because it seems a little out of place compared to the standard emojis. but I agree, don't get rid of it. a change of name would be a good idea.

 

[Tude]

There's nothing wrong with bumping threads. A forum is for discussion. People can discuss whatever they want.

 

[seliph]

Idk why me and one single other person saying we are uncomfortable being hug reacted has turned into several people being nervous about reacting to posts as a whole, I think we've both explained our reasonings pretty well and it's not right that the other person felt the need to apologize for their dislike of it.

I won't be bothered if the hug stays but I do like the idea of a bandaged heart for "Support".

Edited down cus I was at work and phrased this poorly

 

[xSuperMario64x]

There's nothing wrong with bumping threads. A forum is for discussion. People can discuss whatever they want.

after re-reading the rules, I can confirm that, no matter how old a thread is, it is okay to bump as long as the comment contributes to the discussion in a meaningful way. there is no rule against bumping old threads. I suppose the only time an old thread shouldn't be bumped is if there is a more recent thread on the same topic, or if the topic is outdated or too sensitive.

but I could've sworn that, at some point, there was a rule or advisory against bumping old threads. is that true, staff? or are Apple and I somehow misremembering?

 

[-Apples-]

after re-reading the rules, I can confirm that, no matter how old a thread is, it is okay to bump as long as the comment contributes to the discussion in a meaningful way. there is no rule against bumping old threads. I suppose the only time an old thread shouldn't be bumped is if there is a more recent thread on the same topic, or if the topic is outdated or too sensitive.

but I could've sworn that, at some point, there was a rule or advisory against bumping old threads. is that true, staff? or are Apple and I somehow misremembering?

I don’t remember any advisory against bumping old threads. But I do remember that in one of my CTS threads, it’s okay for a user to bump multiple old threads in Brewster’s on the same day if they’re timeless discussions, but it’s not okay to tell users not to do that. Because if you’re telling someone not to do something when it’s not against the rules, it can come off as rude behavior.

 

[Mairmalade]

Hi, everyone!

Based on the feedback and some of the reports we've received recently, we want to address the What's Bothering You thread sooner, too.

This thread was initially created as a space for members to vent and share their feelings. However, we recognize that the nature of this space can also lead to misunderstandings, discomfort, hurt feelings, and tension.

To help the thread remain a safe and supportive outlet, we've discussed and are introducing additional guidelines alongside our existing ones when posting in it:

• Focus on your own experiences and feelings. Please avoid sharing personal details or issues about others to respect their privacy
• Do not make indirect statements about others. Making vague statements about a past or present relationship/friendship who are members of TBT can be harmful. Even when you don't include any identifying factors, the other person can figure out they're the target of your post, and we often can't verify or take action because we don't have any knowledge of the situation
  • This also applies to posting about another person's situation, whether positive (e.g., concern, worry) or negative, as their situation is not yours to share
• Be mindful of sensitive content. Some topics may be triggering to others (e.g., mental health struggles, traumatic experiences, medical conditions and procedures, politics, or loss). We encourage using spoiler tags for such content to be considerate of everyone using the space.

Code for Spoiler Tags:

[spoiler=Spoiler Title Text Here]Your post content here[/spoiler]

Becomes:

Spoiler: Spoiler Title Text Here

Your post content here

As always, please continue to report rule-breaking posts for staff review.

Additionally, we've decided to close the Pet Peeves thread. As it serves a similar use case to the What's Bothering You thread, we believe it's best to keep such posts where additional guidelines are in place.

Thank you for sharing your feedback!

An edit was made to the wording in the second point for clarity.

 

[Croconaw]

Do not make indirect statements about others. Making vague statements about a past or present relationship/friendship (including those who are TBT members) can be harmful. Even when you don't include any identifying factors, the other person can figure out they're the target of your post, and we often can't verify or take action because we don't have any knowledge of the situation.

I have a question about this point. This only applies to TBT members, correct? I am allowed to post about a past friendship if the past friend is not on TBT, but somebody I know in person or via another social media platform like Snapchat? I’m just trying to make sure I understand correctly.

 

[-Apples-]

I also wonder if posting about other communities as a whole rather than individuals (like my Mollycord rants) need to be avoided too.

As for the new WBY thread rules, I suggest that they should also apply to the other free-topic threads too (like the Random Thoughts Thread) since the thread don’t have rules explicitly stated in the OP (to be fair, we didn’t expect the WBY thread to become like this too). When they say not to complain about other members publicly, I think the rule applies everywhere and not just threads like these.