coordinator lissi
flying in a dream, stars by the pocketful
“Mao please get off the garbage can…” (I said this to my friend irl)
The out of context quotes thread
- Thread starter Midoriya
- Start date
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“I could invent a digital currency based around respect!”
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Well, I’m dead.”
“Huh?”
“What?”
“I’m dead. Says here I’m definitely dead!”
“Huh?”
“What?”
“I’m dead. Says here I’m definitely dead!”
*a gun is cocked and aimed at Kyle. The camera turns to reveal Stan is the one holding it*
How come you couldn’t just go home, dude? That’s all we had to do.
Stan! What the ****?!
It was all planned out!
You knew this whole time? Why?
Because it was me. I’m the one who took a dump in the urinal.
What?
The stalls were full and I didn’t wanna miss recess! I didn’t think it would turn into such a big deal!
So you blamed the government?!
And the government was more than willing to take the blame, so long as it made them look responsible for 9/11! Oh man, now everyone’s gonna know. Why did the stupid Hardly Boys have to be so good at solving mysteries?
So wait, wait: Stan took a dump in the urinal and he contacted the conspiracy website? But the conspiracy site was run by the government?
Yeah.
So then, who was responsible for 9/11?
What do you mean? A bunch of pissed off Muslims.
How come you couldn’t just go home, dude? That’s all we had to do.
Stan! What the ****?!
It was all planned out!
You knew this whole time? Why?
Because it was me. I’m the one who took a dump in the urinal.
What?
The stalls were full and I didn’t wanna miss recess! I didn’t think it would turn into such a big deal!
So you blamed the government?!
And the government was more than willing to take the blame, so long as it made them look responsible for 9/11! Oh man, now everyone’s gonna know. Why did the stupid Hardly Boys have to be so good at solving mysteries?
So wait, wait: Stan took a dump in the urinal and he contacted the conspiracy website? But the conspiracy site was run by the government?
Yeah.
So then, who was responsible for 9/11?
What do you mean? A bunch of pissed off Muslims.
Welcome to the cable-access televised debate between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. We’ll start with Giant Douche. Sir, some students and parents are reluctant to have a… giant douche represent them. What do you say to those people?
Jim, first of all, I would like to thank you for monitoring this debate. And I would like to thank all of the students and their parents for coming.
Aww, suck-up, suck-up!
Shh!
What? That’s an obvious suck-up move.
But I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich.
You’re a turd sandwich.
…No, sir, if you’ll pardon me, you are, in fact, the turd sandwich.
You're a turd sandwich.
Sir, you are a turd sandwich.
You’re a turd sandwich.
Turd Sandwich, I will ask you not to speak out of turn.
I’m sorry, Jim.
Anyway, as I was saying… wait, I forgot what I was saying.
Ha. What a douche.
All right, Turd Sandwich, this next question is for you. How should South Park Elementary enforce its laws of conduct for young athletes during sporting events?
(pause)
Uh, you know, uh, my opponent wouldn’t even know the answer to that question. If you ask him the same question, he would not answer it. He would stand around and just babble on and on about nothing until he was finally saved by the buzze- *buzzer*
Your time is up, Turd.
Jim, first of all, I would like to thank you for monitoring this debate. And I would like to thank all of the students and their parents for coming.
Aww, suck-up, suck-up!
Shh!
What? That’s an obvious suck-up move.
But I would hope that those students and their parents who question my qualities would simply look at my opponent. He is a turd sandwich.
You’re a turd sandwich.
…No, sir, if you’ll pardon me, you are, in fact, the turd sandwich.
You're a turd sandwich.
Sir, you are a turd sandwich.
You’re a turd sandwich.
Turd Sandwich, I will ask you not to speak out of turn.
I’m sorry, Jim.
Anyway, as I was saying… wait, I forgot what I was saying.
Ha. What a douche.
All right, Turd Sandwich, this next question is for you. How should South Park Elementary enforce its laws of conduct for young athletes during sporting events?
(pause)
Uh, you know, uh, my opponent wouldn’t even know the answer to that question. If you ask him the same question, he would not answer it. He would stand around and just babble on and on about nothing until he was finally saved by the buzze- *buzzer*
Your time is up, Turd.
"I'm not picking that up... you pick it up."
"Uh-uh! Ain't getting that **** on me!"
*sick guitar notes*
"I'll pick it up! CAUSE, my heinie's clean! That's right, it's Charmin clean! That's how I know it's clean!"
"CHARMIN ULTRA STRONG HAS YOUR *** LOOKIN' LIKE A FRESHLY CLEANED DINNER PLATE!"
"Uh-uh! Ain't getting that **** on me!"
*sick guitar notes*
"I'll pick it up! CAUSE, my heinie's clean! That's right, it's Charmin clean! That's how I know it's clean!"
"CHARMIN ULTRA STRONG HAS YOUR *** LOOKIN' LIKE A FRESHLY CLEANED DINNER PLATE!"
Don’t worry, guys. I’ll never be too good or too evil again. From now on, I’ll just be me.
Uh, do you think you could be a little less evil than that?
I don’t know. Do you think you could survive a 700 foot fall?
Uh, do you think you could be a little less evil than that?
I don’t know. Do you think you could survive a 700 foot fall?
BalignonWizard
Shroomish cast Meteor Swarm!!
”Do you give her anything?” “Oh yeah here you go kiddo,” I toss her a spare head, “Thank you!”
*Head eating noises or something*
*Head eating noises or something*
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“As far back as I can remember I always knew that I deserved to be dead.”
BalignonWizard
Shroomish cast Meteor Swarm!!
“What is acting if not being transgender?” -my friend, they are trans
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“I’m the talking crow like thing”
“And I’m the guy made up of string”
“And I’m a yellow pig!”
“And I’m the guy made up of string”
“And I’m a yellow pig!”
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Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“How did you die?”
“It says that I forgot to drink water. HA!”
“It says that I forgot to drink water. HA!”
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“You think I’m worthless?! You try catching garbage with your head all day and raise four kids!”
Homie, are you really going to ignore Grampa the rest of your life?
Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident. He didn’t want to have me.
You didn’t want to have Bart.
I know, but you’re never supposed to tell the child.
You tell Bart all the time! You told him this morning.
But when I do it, it’s cute!
Of course not, Marge. Just for the rest of his life. He said I was an accident. He didn’t want to have me.
You didn’t want to have Bart.
I know, but you’re never supposed to tell the child.
You tell Bart all the time! You told him this morning.
But when I do it, it’s cute!
