The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"That's the third cow this month. At this rate, all my cattle are gonna die before the winter's through."

"This is nothing out of the unusual. Cows turn themselves inside out all the time."

 

[Yoshi155]

Good news, everybody! Because I endangered lives, we can fly anywhere we want!

 

[frogslime]

"So nothing happens when we don't meet quota?"
*red sirens go off and we are launched out of the ship*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Oh no you didn’t just tell me how to raise my little girl!”
“You do not tell this woman how to raise her child!”
“Yeah! You do not tell her how to raise me!”

 

[frogslime]

"I SAW A LITTLE GIRL I'M GONNA THEOW UP"
"That's nicki she wanna play the reindeer games"

"Hey Yin, check this out"
*bludgeons to death*

"U are terribly OOC(Rp term for out of character) right now. U ned to stop fail rp."

"Boys like football, men like Ninjago"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Now we pretend that I’m Kevin Bacon to get free stuff or we can do nothing. Hailey, you don’t get a vote.”
“I was gonna say free stuff.”
“Really? Look at you!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why? Why? WHY DIDN’T I BREAK HIS LEGS?

 

[Yoshi155]

There. How do I look?

Like a cheap French harlot.

French?

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh God, you’re alive! I mean, thank God, you’re alive!

 

[frogslime]

"Could the ugly, untalented gays please report to the principal's office?"

"An eleven?"
"She earned it
"She shot an arrow at your head"
"Well, at an apple"
"Near your head"

"and U like homo’s bizarre adventure"

"Remy was wrong we found someone who can’t cook"

"Trypophobics and bisexuals go hand-in-hand..."

 

[rocketspruggs]

"I'm C.A.R.P. It stands for, "Cool, And Radically Popular."

"Good thing you didn't want to be, "Cool, Rich, And Popular."

"Why?"

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Sierra is like the stalker that I never knew that I’ve always wanted until I got one and now I want to get rid of!”

 

[Yoshi155]

My God. What if the secret ingredient… is people?

No, there’s already a soda like that. Soylent cola.

Oh. How is it?

It varies from person to person.

 

[Yoshi155]

Homer, don’t start stalking people again. It’s so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?

Well, something did!

 

[Yoshi155]

What has America’s youth come to? Kids won’t even kill their own grandparents.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Wow, your kid is great! So how hard did you say you had to hit him?"

 

[Yoshi155]

This is Martin-

Martin from Aspen Park, I know.

How the hell’d you know that?

Well, maybe because I’m the son of God, brainiac, now do you have a question?

 

[Seastar]

"Anyway...we put a tracking device on Gramps, as one does."

 

[Yoshi155]

Ladies and gentlemen. My name is John Warsog. I have prepared a statement on behalf of the network. *clears throat* **** you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. If there are any questions, you may direct them to that brick wall over there.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"You're bad at being handsome."