The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“We don’t believe in raising children in a dangerous world.”
“Especially delicious children.”

 

[TN4U]

"Did you feel a great disturbance in the Force as if millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced?"
"Nah, just a little headache."

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Well if it issssssn’t my old friend, Atomic Boy!”
“It’s Freakazoid.”
“Oh I am dreadfully sssssssssssorry! It’s sssssss so dark down here.”
“My dad once hung these little lanterns up when he had a luau. You should buy some!”
“Are they very expenssssssive?”
“Aw no. They’re made out of paper.”

 

[Yoshi155]

Good news, everyone! We were supposed to make a delivery to the planet Tweenis 12, but it’s been completely destroyed.

Why is that good news?

They paid in advance.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Come on, look on the bright side, Doc! If the earth explodes, we'll have front-row seats!"

"Why are you like this?"

 

[Midoriya]

"Death? Not even remotely innovative. I bought it from Dr. Edward. He claimed it was some exclusive fancy-schmancy stuff... But what a disappointment."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Guys, just admit it, we're too old to be trick-or-tricking. I'm not 41 anymore."

"Yeah, plus all these health additions are really taking the fun out of trick-or-treating. Like, they're including apples with my razor blades now."

 

[Yoshi155]

They travel from world to world, making everyone stupid in order to wipe out all thought in the universe.

Wipe out all thought? My God! They’re like flying televisions!

 

[Yoshi155]

*gasps* What do you want?

I’m here to kick your ass!

Wishful thinking. We have long since evolved beyond the need for asses.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"The lyrics clearly state, 'Go into the water. Go into the water. Live there, die there.' And my clients all tried to breathe water and nearly died because of this underwater album by your band, Dethklok."

"Why don't you go breathe underwater?"

*Everyone laughs*

"I suggest that it was your intention to create an album that caused destruction to human life!"

"Suggest all you want! It won't make your ****** any bigger, you ***** licker!"

*Everyone laughs*

"This band is a danger to the human race!"

"You's a danger to putting us to sleep. I would've brought a sleepings bag, I know this guy was gonna show up."

*Everyone laughs*

"Your honor, we demand $50 million for medical bills and punitive damages."

"Hey, how about we compromise."

"I'll give you half... Of nothing."

*Everyone laughs*

"The album clearly states, 'Intended for fish only'. I rest my case."

"Not guilty!"

 

[QueenCobra]

“P.S. You were in ‘Robin Hood: Men in Tights’. Did ya know that?“

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Pickles is right, we have a tough choice: Playing acoustic is totally lame and not metal. But then again, if we don't put that troll back to sleep, we may never be able to check our emails with high-speed DSL again."

 

[Yoshi155]

Link, thank God you’re here, the countryside is terrified and shocked
We’re overrun with Darknuts, Peahats, Leevers, Gels, and Octoroks
You’re our hero of the ages, with a sword and helping hand
We really need your skills!

Oh, you need my skills?
AW, DAMN!
Moblins no problem and Octoroks are poppycock
Gotta get that Triforce tomorrow but first I gotta do my pop and lock
When I see an Iron Knuckle, Imma buckle up my pants
‘Cause those *****es don’t **** around when I kick up my Z Target dance
But see, with me, I gotta find another way to defeat
Don’t use my sword or shield ‘cause I know this flow is good enough to kill
Hylian people rejoice, ‘cause your hero is the illest mother****ing rapper with the illest ****ing voice!
…How was that? Those raps do anything for you?

Oh, God, everyone is dead!

 

[Yoshi155]

Calculon’s gonna kill us for sure, and it’s all everybody else’s fault.

 

[Mr.Fox]

'Did you know that there are more stars in the sky than grains of sand...in the sky?'

 

[LordSheep78]

“This is trifficult!”

 

[Yoshi155]

What’s the point of going out? We’re just going to wind up back here, anyway.

(Smartest thing Homer has ever said)

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Pfffft! Nothing bad is going to happen with the comet. It’ll just burn itself smaller as it falls until it’s the size of a chihuahua’s head.”
(Actual smartest thing Homer has ever said!)

 

[Suguri]

"You nane me cheese!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Mom, look! I found something more fun than complaining!