The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Skippy singing as he holds a couple of acorns frozen in blocks of ice*
“It’s so cold outside that even my nuts are frozen!”
*Slappy pops out of the door to their tree house*
“Careful with that last line!”

 

[Yoshi155]

O Great Space King, I humbly beg you to return my human horn.

Uh, human horn? Oh, how ridiculous. Why would a virile male like Lrrr need human horn? I don’t even know what it’s for. What is it, something you put in salad dressing?

Like you’ve ever seen a salad.

My weight is appropriate and attractive!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“I’m six years old.”
“In what, dog years?”

 

[Yoshi155]

This human’s lower horn is one of God’s creatures. A living thing. And all living things, large and small-

In this case, small! Whooo!

*Fry stares at Bender unamused*

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, you have nothing to worry about.

Your mother’s right, Bart. Sure, you’re the one who ruined all of Sideshow Bob’s criminal schemes-

We’re very proud of you by the way.

And sure, he’s probably so insane with rage that he’d butcher you horribly if he could.

But he’s safely locked away.

In a medium security prison.

For life.

Unless he gets out somehow.

Which is impossible.

Or so you think, except he’s done it so many times before.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I feel tingly."

"Don't say that when you're pressed up against me."

"Not that kind of tingly."

 

[Yoshi155]

You can’t ask God to kill someone.

Yeah, you do your own dirty work!

 

[Yoshi155]

Why, it’s Bart Simpson! Hello, Bart! *waves*

*Bart runs away*

He’s just a little shy because I’ve tried to kill him so many times.

 

[rocketspruggs]

"Hey, Harold, up here!"

"Huh? What are you guys doing up in that tree?"

"We're stuck."

"Stuck?" [laughing] "Arnold and Eugene stuck in a tree, "S-T-U-K in a tree." [laughing] "You're so stupid, you're so stupid!"

"Yeah, it's real funny, now could you just help us get down?"

 

[Yoshi155]

Wow, that guy must be the world’s greatest bender! My dreams of glory died before they began.

Welcome to my life! *starts sobbing*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“So what are you going to be in the play?”
“I’m playing the Onion. What are you?”
“I’m ‘Fat’!”
“No. I mean in the play.”
(Next panel shows Calvin on the ground after Susie has hit him and she is now yelling and holding up her fist)
“ANYONE ELSE WANT TO MAKE A JOKE ABOUT ME BEING FAT?!”

 

[Yoshi155]

I can’t watch this because it’s creepy and wrong and sick. However, I will watch out of curiosity.

 

[Suguri]

How did you like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory"?

The wha-? No, I was playing "Bananas in Pyjamas: It's Fun Time", and I'm finished with "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and I want something to eat at a restaurant.

*Little Guy proceeds to walk out* That are like hamburgers, cheeseburgers, french frees, chicken nuggets, sandwiches, Big Macs, Small Macs, cakes, fishes, chicken crisps, Whoppers, grilled Whoppers, bacon sandwiches, chicken tenders, grilled tenders, buffalo tenders, swiss tenders...

 

[Yoshi155]

Homer, I’ve got a Fozzie of a bear of a problem. Maude and her mother were visiting Tyre and Sidon, the twin cities of the holy land. They must have kneeled in the wrong place and prayed to the wrong god, because, well, they’re being held prisoner by militants of some sort.

Militants, huh? Well, if I were you, I’d kick their asses.

 

[Suguri]

It's hard to type with big furry paw hands with no fingers. Sometimes I have fingers. It's weird being a cartoon character.

 

[QueenCobra]

“I only believe in two things completely: the First Amendment and boobs.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Wilkins coffee?”
“If that’s all you have, I’ll get off at the next town.”
*Wilkins tosses Wotkins out of the plane*
“Next town is five miles down!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Moth! Moth! Moth! Moth!

Don’t worry, a moth is no more harmful than a ladybug.

Ladybug?! *both run away screaming*

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Uh Ralph? Maybe you should feed the Kitty for a bit….”
“No. The Kitty gets the milkshakes. The Bunny gets pancakes!”
*Ralph pushes a plate of pancakes to the Bunny who is now massively oversized and it shoves the entire plate before its body starts shaking violently as Vanilope and Ralph watch in shock. Cut to a little girl staring at an iPad in the car while her mom is driving and a pop is heard and the girl screams loudly causing her mom to swerve*

 

[QueenCobra]

“Shh! I’m TRYING to use the PHONE!”