for as long as i can remember, my dream career has always been to be an author. my love for reading began from my kindergarten years and continues into present day, but my love for writing began before i was even done elementary school, and it started with me writing cringy fanfiction about the online game
moshi monsters. i would ship moshlings together, come up with further backstories for them, and give them this whole new purpose other than just chilling in a zoo and being cool. i then moved up to rewriting popular stories that already existed (ex. twilight) in ways that made completely no sense, posting them online, and then claiming them as original concepts LMAO. i was also heavily fixated on the name “donnie” for some reason.
i attempted
animal crossing fanfiction as well after
new leaf came out, and they were... weird. i only remember like, the base concepts of what i wrote, and they all were so... serious and dramatically emotional? like, i’ve been writing on and off for 10+ years now and i still don’t know how to write lighthearted, feel-good pieces of literature. everything’s always gotta be depressing.
nowadays, i wouldn’t really consider what i do writing. it’s honestly all just journaling. i vent about anything and everything that’s ailing me whenever i actually have the energy and coherency to do it, either in a straightforward way or in a i’m trying to be poetic and relatable way, and that’s it. i don’t write fiction or fanfiction anymore. i just haven’t had the time or energy to. i have so many important, mandatory things to do that my energy gets wasted on, and then i don’t have it in me to engage in my used-to-be hobbies. it sucks. the most recent thing that i’ve wrote is a poem for my
new horizons island journal, and i still think it’s a miracle that i even managed to do that. i’m hoping my writer’s block ends eventually or that i’m hit with a sudden urge to write sometime soon because i miss writing.
my dream career went from author, to something that involves writing, to i have no idea anymore as my passion for and consistency in writing began to diminish. i still did (and do) it occasionally, but i don’t love it as much anymore, and i know that i would grow to absolutely
detest it if i had to make it my career. that made me realize that i can’t make a career out of any of my hobbies (ex. photography, makeup, writing, etc) because even though i’d be making money for it, having to do it consistently + at times when i may not want to would result in me becoming bored, and i uh... don’t do well when i’m bored, and i don’t do well when i’m forced into things that i don’t want to do.
i think my new dream career (or at least a career that i’d like to give a chance) might be something involving retail and working with animals. i was thinking maybe a job at petsmart, or even as a groomer? i don’t know. i did co-op at petvalu back in 2019, and while the people i worked with were terrible, the customers and animals that accompanied them weren’t. they were kind, i had pleasant conversations with some of them, and i got to meet and pet some adorable furry companions; the one i remember the most is whisper the blind kitten. she was white with green eyes, and her fur was like nothing i’d ever felt before. it felt almost like petting a beanbag chair? LMAO i don’t know, it was just very satiny and silky feeling lol. i’m not sure if this is a career i’d want for the rest of my life, but i’d definitely love to give it another shot (and actually get paid this time lol). i love animals, and i don’t mind the retail part, either; i like organizing shelves, restocking products, pricetagging items, etc. i just hope that the people i work with/for in the future are nicer than the people at my co-op location.