What's bothering you?

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I shouldn't have ate after my work out.
The pounds I was proud of losing are back and I'm beating myself up.
Like, come on. I'm that much of a failure?
It shouldn't be hard. I lost 20 lbs in a month before. Yeah, it wasn't all the way healthy, but it happened. I worked out a lot and was eating okay and yeah, it was because I was too depressed to take care of myself, but still... I looked nice. I should have took advantage of that.
I had an ED for a year and a half (and then some, prolly) and that tiny part of me is furious/shaming me hardcore.
Stupidstupidstupid. Just should have ate my usual apple and glasses of water. But no.


This math studying is killing me.
 
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I shouldn't have ate after my work out.
The pounds I was proud of losing are back and I'm beating myself up.
Like, come on. I'm that much of a failure?
It shouldn't be hard. I lost 20 lbs in a month before. Yeah, it wasn't all the way healthy, but it happened. I worked out a lot and was eating okay and yeah, it was because I was too depressed to take care of myself, but still... I looked nice. I should have took advantage of that.
I had an ED for a year and a half (and then some, prolly) and that tiny part of me is furious/shaming me hardcore.
Stupidstupidstupid. Just should have ate my usual apple and glasses of water. But no.


This math studying is killing me.


Listen to music if that helps?It does for me.Usually castlevania stuff works
 
I shouldn't have ate after my work out.
The pounds I was proud of losing are back and I'm beating myself up.
Like, come on. I'm that much of a failure?
It shouldn't be hard. I lost 20 lbs in a month before. Yeah, it wasn't all the way healthy, but it happened. I worked out a lot and was eating okay and yeah, it was because I was too depressed to take care of myself, but still... I looked nice. I should have took advantage of that.
I had an ED for a year and a half (and then some, prolly) and that tiny part of me is furious/shaming me hardcore.
Stupidstupidstupid. Just should have ate my usual apple and glasses of water. But no.


This math studying is killing me.

hey you :( i know how you feel. I can't sit here and tell you to not feel that way because you're going to no matter what. At least that's what happens with me. My sister yells at me whenever I care about calories or whatever because she says I look fine, but it's impossible to just feel fine with the fact that you're eating a ton of calories, aka me at lunch eating nachos with taco meat at school so ****ing good but omg what a curse. lol

I'm not going to sit here and preach about how you should just love yourself either way because let's face it. you're going to feel how you you're gonna feel and nobody can control that but you. You should be easier on yourself though. I forced myself to begin running today once again since I paused after my wisdom teeth surgery and a major cold. I am bloated cause of my period but it sent me into a mental attack on myself, mental disgust really. I felt a lot better and it also helps knowing my doggy is overweight a little bit because I haven't been walking her.. and I want the best for her since she's my lovely and she's always there when I'm sad. So I use that as a motivational thing, I take her running with me and she seems to enjoy it.

You need to look at yourself in a positive way after you workout. Be proud of what you did, every little step counts. Running for me is all I need to do to stay skinny but some people need more thorough workouts. I honestly recommend avoiding the scale. It's best for you to just notice the progress by checking the mirror every day. Just eat better, it doesn't have to be a strict healthy diet. You're not a failure, trust me. :)

- - - Post Merge - - -

And this is coming from someone who was officially diagnosed with anorexia about 2-3 years back.
 
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I shouldn't have ate after my work out.
The pounds I was proud of losing are back and I'm beating myself up.
Like, come on. I'm that much of a failure?
It shouldn't be hard. I lost 20 lbs in a month before. Yeah, it wasn't all the way healthy, but it happened. I worked out a lot and was eating okay and yeah, it was because I was too depressed to take care of myself, but still... I looked nice. I should have took advantage of that.
I had an ED for a year and a half (and then some, prolly) and that tiny part of me is furious/shaming me hardcore.
Stupidstupidstupid. Just should have ate my usual apple and glasses of water. But no.


This math studying is killing me.

It bothers me when people call themselves a failure. :/ You're working out! So many people can't even manage that. There was just this one day, and maybe it'll happen again, where you slip up in your diet, but if from then on you keep up your usual healthy routines then that's still accomplishing something.
 
It bothers me when people call themselves a failure. :/ You're working out! So many people can't even manage that. There was just this one day, and maybe it'll happen again, where you slip up in your diet, but if from then on you keep up your usual healthy routines then that's still accomplishing something.

Exactly this. This is what I forgot to mention in my post. Lots of people, such as people in my school. They shame exercise, claiming it's a 'waste of time' and they 'couldn't be bothered' to do it. They are at least 80 pounds overweight, it's ridiculous.

You are nowhere near that. Everybody needs exercise, no matter who they are.
 
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nvm.

- - - Post Merge - - -

I shouldn't have ate after my work out.
The pounds I was proud of losing are back and I'm beating myself up.
Like, come on. I'm that much of a failure?
It shouldn't be hard. I lost 20 lbs in a month before. Yeah, it wasn't all the way healthy, but it happened. I worked out a lot and was eating okay and yeah, it was because I was too depressed to take care of myself, but still... I looked nice. I should have took advantage of that.
I had an ED for a year and a half (and then some, prolly) and that tiny part of me is furious/shaming me hardcore.
Stupidstupidstupid. Just should have ate my usual apple and glasses of water. But no.


This math studying is killing me.

Please stay strong warrior <3
 
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vhK5MKz.jpg


To help make you feel better because most everybody loves dogs, here's a picture of her when she was a puppy. XD
 
yeah i know it is true as well, my mom never wanted animals but then i offered to pay for her rescue and everything because i wanted something to distract me from my problems at times. she's the craziest spastic dog ill ever know but shes honestly awesome lol

since the day i brought her home shes slept in my bed and it's such a satisfying and lovely feeling to know she cannot sleep without me lol if i forced her into her crate at night she'd just cry all night and make so much noise until i had to go get her (since the person who lives in the same building as us has complained of her crying before -_-)
 
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@Ahri, ella, and Wind: Thanks, loves. Just having a hard night... I've always been hard on myself about the weight thing. And it's worse now and it's just, I feel myself slipping back into the old frame of mind where, "Hey, let's not eat for a day and instead work out for a couple of hours. The hungry feeling means it's working. Let's start writing all your calories down and lying about how you're not hungry and avoiding eating in front of people because you're a fat monster." I'm just tired of it. I never feel comfortable in my body or clothes. I don't know... I'm trying really hard to be healthy this time around and that little voice is wanting me to go back to how I was.

I'm stressing a lot. This stupid math test and I'm behind on a few really important messages with people. People who took time out of their day to talk to me about really messed up stuff going on in my life and to give their kindness and advice and I'm probably coming off as an ungrateful jerk who doesn't reply, but it's one of those things were you can't find words to describe how thankful you are and I wanted to send something from the heart. And then I can't find a job and I hate hearing how my education is killing the family financially, especially when taxes come around. I have nothing to give and I don't know. I just feel like a big FAIL on all fronts.

AHRI, IS YOUR DOG A LAB MIX? SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! I HAVE A BLACK LAB TOO. SHE HATES ME, LOL.
Awww, Ella! Your cat is cute. Is it around the same age as the one in the picture?
 
Yeah she's a lab/pit mix rescue. :3 But thank you! Her name is Sydney.
 
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She's amazing. Protective, nice, annoying at most times :p she's a big baby too.. not even aggressive except with my mom's dog lol she's wicked clingy. let her give you a hug, even tho she smells LOL

she was born a day before my birthday too, which is weird and coincidental
 
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She's amazing. Protective, nice, annoying at most times :p she's a big baby too.. not even aggressive except with my mom's dog lol she's wicked clingy. let her give you a hug, even tho she smells LOL

she was born a day before my birthday too, which is weird and coincidental

And then there's my dog who growls if I try to kiss her, lol.

That is weird. It was fate.
 
thats like my moms dog ._. she used to do it but now shes better with it.

but i hope the thought of doggies made you feel a little better :D
 
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