Theres this stupid bully at my swim team and I dont know what to doShe is targeting me
Hi Peaches.
First off, I'm really sorry this is happening to you. First thing you need to do is tell someone. Do you have a teacher that you can trust? Do you trust your principle/dean? If not, do you have a family member or a friend that you trust? You definitely need to confide in someone so they know what's going on. This is the best thing you should do; I know that it might not seem 'cool' and you may think this will get them to make fun of you, but trust me this helps a LOT. No one can help you if you don't know what's going on.
The rest of this depends on the level of bullying (not saying that one level is not as bad as the other- ALL forms of bullying are bad). Are you being emotionally or physically harassed? Are they saying mean things, are they physically hurting you?
Chances are, simply ignoring them won't stop it. Now, what I'm about to say is in NO WAY defending the bully. What they are doing is WRONG on ALL accounts. But chances are, there's a reason why the person is bullying you and taking their frustration out on you is giving them some kind of false sense of satisfaction. Many bullies are unguided, and feel like they can take their problems out on people, such as yourself. Chances are, no matter how much you ignore them they will keep coming back. You can ask them why but they probably will give you a stupid excuse which is not relevant to the real answer.
Depending on your comfort level and the exact situation (I'm not sure if you feel comfortable telling us what is going on), there are a couple of things you can do. FIRST, though, confide in someone and see if these are viable options:
1. Notify authorities or higher ups and request action. If you're in high school or lower, principles and higher ups can offically warn them. If it continues, then additional action can be taken (suspension, etc). If you feel like this might trigger more attacks, you need to let the person you confide in know so that they can plan accordingly. Some schools will allow some sort of separation (official statement saying if she comes in # ft of you, she will be punished accordingly).
2. Be nice to them. This can be risky depending on the situation, so please confide in someone and ask before doing this. Sometimes being nice to them throws bullies off, and eventually they'll just get bored because they don't get the type of satisfaction they need (they probably want to see you upset, so seeing you happy probably doesn't do much). But then again, this can also enrage some bullies, so please decide with someone you confide in how this might work.
3. Stand up and be brave. I'm not saying you should fight fire with fire, definitely not! Do NOT physically or emotionally attack them. Just say "that's pretty immature" or "whatever". This may deny them the satisfaction they are looking for. However, make sure to verify this depending on the situation. It honestly depends on how violent the bully is.
4. Find a friend. Many bullies decrease confrontations when you're with friends. Teaming up against you is much different than teaming up against you and five other people. Surround yourself with positive people. This will in turn help YOU feel positive about yourself. This usually works very well.
But first and foremost like I said, find someone to confide in.
Last thing. Do NOT listen to what the bully says. The bully is doing this because they have issues of their own that need to be addressed. There is NOTHING wrong with you, it is the bully that is in the wrong. You are an awesome person, and you need to remember that. Confiding in us shows how brave you are, and I'm sure you can get through this. You are not the lame person or the person that has issues, THEY are. If ANYONE says "wow you're lame for tattling" or some poop like that, you need to know that THEY are the lame ones for allowing someone to be ASSAULTED. They are the ones in the wrong. There is nothing lame about sticking up for yourself. The only people that are lame are those that allow such bad acts to occur. Anyone that doesn't support you doesn't deserve your time!
Please feel free to PM me if you need help. There are many wonderful people in this community that will lend a listening ear if you need further help. Please keep us posted if you feel comfortable with doing so!
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