What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
- Start date
cherrytheone
Sofia hopes you have a good day!
im so so nervous for my research paper......... if I fail this I literally fail everything and I have to start over with another program
Rubygame
Senior Member
@moonbyu
Hi 
I don't know how school works in your country, but in my region many people drop out of school both because the school doesn't work well and because they are born into very ignorant family contexts.
I know very well what imposter syndrome is, I also experience it constantly. Because of this syndrome, for years I have lived my life in total apathy because I considered myself good for nothing and being such I could not aspire to anything good.
I went through really bad times, I lost a lot of weight and I didn't want anything.
I missed so many opportunities, that now I'd catch right away!
I know my words will be useless in this situation, but... always remember that your school grade doesn't define who you are, you are not a grade. Studying shouldn't be a social obligation, but it should be a way to learn new things about the world, to feed our curiosity, to guide us in comparison with each other, to become free!
Because culture makes us free, aware, it makes us human.
And you know what? Very often in school they don't teach you this!
They give you a series of sterile notions to learn, and that's it! (Moreover, in many countries culture is manipulated by the Political power, so people do not grow up as human beings but puppets)
Teaching means planting a seed, it means nourishing not only with knowledge but also with the soul. We are not robots who have to learn the lesson for the next day or how to do the math problem, we are human beings who, in addition to learning these things, need to mature as individuals, we need to understand our identity and acquire the tools to face real life!
Because life out there is ruthless.
My country offers many scholastic paths, I chose the one in which humanities and scientific subjects are equally studied. I've had really bad teachers... except one: my teacher of Italian literature and Latin literature.
And then (since my teachers taught badly) I used to watch History and Philosophy lessons from a very good professor on YouTube.
Thanks to these two people, I've learned to look at the world with different eyes, I've learned to dig into the essence of the human being, and I've learned to understand myself, because that's exactly what the humanities subjects are for.
I understood that I can do it, that what I experience is experienced by millions of other people, that we are all in the same sea, and that if we force ourselves and stop to reflect and help each others, everything will be fine.
Be strong! You are not a grade! You are much more, find out who you are.
And if you discover that you don't like studying, look for an alternative, you're not a failure because you don't want to get a degree, you just have to understand what you want.
You don't need a degree to find a job and there are people without a degree who are much more cultured than those who do! Because they are simply people who learn for the pleasure of learning.
So even if you don't go to College, don't
stop learning, ever.
In human history we have had many people who have been successful despite not having very high grades in school, the first that comes to mind is Einstein
Obviously we must not become Einstein, but we must have his curiosity! (besides being a scientist, he was also a philosopher, that's why he managed to keep his humanity despite the Nazis forcing him to unheard-of things)
I am not saying that we must all become philosophers, but that we must learn to know ourselves and to believe in ourselves. (I advise you to read Daniel Pennac's book "School Blues" and Salinger's "The catcher in the rye")
What I'm trying to tell you is to study only for yourself and don't worry about the grade, the important thing is that you believe in yourself! If you feel confident in what you have studied, it doesn't matter if the grade is lower than you expected.
You must be PROUD of what you do, you must know what you want, you must BELIEVE in yourself.
You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe it, you have to do it.
Stop letting that damn imposter syndrome win, it will only sink you, some get back up... and some don't!
I got up, today I attend university and work to pay for my studies.
And I decided to go ahead because I like studying, even if... I have low grades.
At first I thought I wasn't able to, then I learned to ask for help.
I've taken a few reps, my grades have improved but I don't take the highs, but I never wanted to!
I am satisfied with myself. I believe in me. I try to improve myself every day, but without pretending to be "the best".
Life is stressful, family often doesn't help, society wants us perfect... but you don't have to care.
Even if it takes longer than others to figure out your way, what does it do?
There are people who don't even have a roof over their heads, so we have to go ahead for them too, in my opinion!
Take your time, don't rush, the solution is ALWAYS found, but you have to believe in yourself.
Yet... We don't always make it alone.
Sometimes being strong isn't enough.
Sometimes we HAVE to ask for help!
There's nothing wrong with doing that. I decided to take some reps, which helped me, but mental health is the FIRST thing.
I'll go to a psychologist as soon as I can, we ALL should go to a psychologist (obviously we have to choose one with whom we feel good).
Unfortunately the economic part is an obstacle for many of us, but you can also confide in friends, don't be afraid! Even if you don't have friends you can trust in real life (like me) there are tons of virtual people like us on this forum with whom you can let off steam.
Never withdraw into yourself, whatever happens, DON'T.
Start loving yourself, please, we are candles made to burn, we must burn this life and make it our own
And take your time to discover yourself as I mentioned, I remember a famous quote that says:"How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?"
It doesn't matter how many times we fail, failing is fundamental, because if we don't fall... we won't be able to get back up stronger, right?
I don't know how school works in your country, but in my region many people drop out of school both because the school doesn't work well and because they are born into very ignorant family contexts.I know very well what imposter syndrome is, I also experience it constantly. Because of this syndrome, for years I have lived my life in total apathy because I considered myself good for nothing and being such I could not aspire to anything good.
I went through really bad times, I lost a lot of weight and I didn't want anything.
I missed so many opportunities, that now I'd catch right away!
I know my words will be useless in this situation, but... always remember that your school grade doesn't define who you are, you are not a grade. Studying shouldn't be a social obligation, but it should be a way to learn new things about the world, to feed our curiosity, to guide us in comparison with each other, to become free!
Because culture makes us free, aware, it makes us human.
And you know what? Very often in school they don't teach you this!
They give you a series of sterile notions to learn, and that's it! (Moreover, in many countries culture is manipulated by the Political power, so people do not grow up as human beings but puppets)
Teaching means planting a seed, it means nourishing not only with knowledge but also with the soul. We are not robots who have to learn the lesson for the next day or how to do the math problem, we are human beings who, in addition to learning these things, need to mature as individuals, we need to understand our identity and acquire the tools to face real life!
Because life out there is ruthless.
My country offers many scholastic paths, I chose the one in which humanities and scientific subjects are equally studied. I've had really bad teachers... except one: my teacher of Italian literature and Latin literature.
And then (since my teachers taught badly) I used to watch History and Philosophy lessons from a very good professor on YouTube.
Thanks to these two people, I've learned to look at the world with different eyes, I've learned to dig into the essence of the human being, and I've learned to understand myself, because that's exactly what the humanities subjects are for.
I understood that I can do it, that what I experience is experienced by millions of other people, that we are all in the same sea, and that if we force ourselves and stop to reflect and help each others, everything will be fine.
Be strong! You are not a grade! You are much more, find out who you are.
And if you discover that you don't like studying, look for an alternative, you're not a failure because you don't want to get a degree, you just have to understand what you want.
You don't need a degree to find a job and there are people without a degree who are much more cultured than those who do! Because they are simply people who learn for the pleasure of learning.
So even if you don't go to College, don't
stop learning, ever.
In human history we have had many people who have been successful despite not having very high grades in school, the first that comes to mind is Einstein
Obviously we must not become Einstein, but we must have his curiosity! (besides being a scientist, he was also a philosopher, that's why he managed to keep his humanity despite the Nazis forcing him to unheard-of things)I am not saying that we must all become philosophers, but that we must learn to know ourselves and to believe in ourselves. (I advise you to read Daniel Pennac's book "School Blues" and Salinger's "The catcher in the rye")
What I'm trying to tell you is to study only for yourself and don't worry about the grade, the important thing is that you believe in yourself! If you feel confident in what you have studied, it doesn't matter if the grade is lower than you expected.
You must be PROUD of what you do, you must know what you want, you must BELIEVE in yourself.
You have to believe in yourself, you have to believe it, you have to do it.
Stop letting that damn imposter syndrome win, it will only sink you, some get back up... and some don't!
I got up, today I attend university and work to pay for my studies.
And I decided to go ahead because I like studying, even if... I have low grades.
At first I thought I wasn't able to, then I learned to ask for help.
I've taken a few reps, my grades have improved but I don't take the highs, but I never wanted to!
I am satisfied with myself. I believe in me. I try to improve myself every day, but without pretending to be "the best".
Life is stressful, family often doesn't help, society wants us perfect... but you don't have to care.
Even if it takes longer than others to figure out your way, what does it do?
There are people who don't even have a roof over their heads, so we have to go ahead for them too, in my opinion!
Take your time, don't rush, the solution is ALWAYS found, but you have to believe in yourself.
Yet... We don't always make it alone.
Sometimes being strong isn't enough.
Sometimes we HAVE to ask for help!
There's nothing wrong with doing that. I decided to take some reps, which helped me, but mental health is the FIRST thing.
I'll go to a psychologist as soon as I can, we ALL should go to a psychologist (obviously we have to choose one with whom we feel good).
Unfortunately the economic part is an obstacle for many of us, but you can also confide in friends, don't be afraid! Even if you don't have friends you can trust in real life (like me) there are tons of virtual people like us on this forum with whom you can let off steam.
Never withdraw into yourself, whatever happens, DON'T.
Start loving yourself, please, we are candles made to burn, we must burn this life and make it our own
And take your time to discover yourself as I mentioned, I remember a famous quote that says:"How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?"
It doesn't matter how many times we fail, failing is fundamental, because if we don't fall... we won't be able to get back up stronger, right?
I'm in bed with a fever that doesn't want to go down, I feel terrible and I just wish I had the strength to do my things. I can't even sleep
Thanks to TBT for keeping me company
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KittenNoir
🖤 Senior Member 🖤
.
Last edited:
I’ve been questioning my friendship with some people. It’s just easy I guess because they treat me like a friend when I do stuff for them but otherwise I don’t exist it seems. It started because it was a group I felt like I was part of when I didn’t think it was possible to be included in others. When you’re getting treated so nicely and it’s not something you are used to, it’s hard to let go of that.
I’ve had one of the girls talk me into buying food for us. It costed $40 but I personally wasn’t hungry and it feels like I paid $40 for myself to eat two chicken strips. Definitely not worth it and probably stupid on my part. I easily made that up at work, but still… I never get invited to do things with them outside of work. It’s literally just me doing things for them, getting them alcohol and vapes. They do pay for the alcohol/vapes though but I know that doesn’t make it right. I mean, they are the reason I even started vaping but I’ve since quit after not being into it, but I’m thinking maybe I should quit them (the friends) too?
I think I just want to hear it from someone else that I’m doing the right thing. My favorite person told me to be careful and to not get taken advantage of, but that ship has sailed. I just don’t want to get involved with the wrong people who are clearly only using me.
I’ve had one of the girls talk me into buying food for us. It costed $40 but I personally wasn’t hungry and it feels like I paid $40 for myself to eat two chicken strips. Definitely not worth it and probably stupid on my part. I easily made that up at work, but still… I never get invited to do things with them outside of work. It’s literally just me doing things for them, getting them alcohol and vapes. They do pay for the alcohol/vapes though but I know that doesn’t make it right. I mean, they are the reason I even started vaping but I’ve since quit after not being into it, but I’m thinking maybe I should quit them (the friends) too?
I think I just want to hear it from someone else that I’m doing the right thing. My favorite person told me to be careful and to not get taken advantage of, but that ship has sailed. I just don’t want to get involved with the wrong people who are clearly only using me.
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ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
The company I applied for still want me on board, and I'm still not sure what I want to do. I love the people at my job and don't want to jump ship and lose my chosen family 
KittenNoir
🖤 Senior Member 🖤
.
Last edited:
Rubygame
Senior Member
@Croconaw
I too for a long time continued to hang out with people I thought were friends and who were instead very toxic. I didn't want to accept that they were, because even if they only exploited me when they needed me, they still made me feel good.
Then I realized that "feeling good" was just an illusion and that I just wanted to feel accepted in a group. With a lot of effort I recently managed to get away from them, and today I find comfort in two or three people that I consider really friends and that's it, one I met through an online game in middle school, and after 9 years of online friendship we met last summer in real life (they lives far from me).
I understood that to be happy I need few things and it doesn't matter if I don't have many friends, even just one is enough (and it doesn't necessarily have to be a friend you see every day, as long as it's a true friend you know you can to count).
There are people who base their relationships on interests ("I give something to you, and you give it to me"). Let's say most people. And then there are others, like you, who are exploited by people, but they don't exploit the others.
Don't think it's too late, if these fake friends cause you discomfort and lead you down a bad path, try to walk away and make self-care your top priority. I know it's difficult, but when you're feeling bad they aren't there for you... and they will never be.
Being more sensitive people who don't live to exploit others is often seen as a weakness and a condemnation. I think it's a great advantage, we just have to realize it and start walking on our feet, and not on those of others.
Take your trusted friend's advice and even if it takes time, push them away and take care of yourself
Then I realized that "feeling good" was just an illusion and that I just wanted to feel accepted in a group. With a lot of effort I recently managed to get away from them, and today I find comfort in two or three people that I consider really friends and that's it, one I met through an online game in middle school, and after 9 years of online friendship we met last summer in real life (they lives far from me).
I understood that to be happy I need few things and it doesn't matter if I don't have many friends, even just one is enough (and it doesn't necessarily have to be a friend you see every day, as long as it's a true friend you know you can to count).
There are people who base their relationships on interests ("I give something to you, and you give it to me"). Let's say most people. And then there are others, like you, who are exploited by people, but they don't exploit the others.
Don't think it's too late, if these fake friends cause you discomfort and lead you down a bad path, try to walk away and make self-care your top priority. I know it's difficult, but when you're feeling bad they aren't there for you... and they will never be.
Being more sensitive people who don't live to exploit others is often seen as a weakness and a condemnation. I think it's a great advantage, we just have to realize it and start walking on our feet, and not on those of others.
Take your trusted friend's advice and even if it takes time, push them away and take care of yourself
This fever is killing me
My co-worker apparently got taught how to register newly-purchased books correctly in the system after making a catalogue post... sigh. I was supposed to connect the new books to their catalogue posts and mark them up so we can lend them out... Turns out she really missed to do the 80% of them cause someone never taught her to. Also she's the kind who takes like everything like criticism and that she's "bad" rather than she needs to learn properly. If I'd done that people would flip lol.
Well, I ended high school last year and it was a tough year for many reasons and I went through a lot, I was relieved that it was over. But unfortunately with the end of high school I feel empty and afraid. I don't want to go to college yet, because the course I want doesn't exist in the public universities of my city, so I want to work to see if I can afford a private one. But my family keeps asking about it, or when will I start, and it's already irritating me and leaving me wondering if I really should do it, just so I don't feel useless here at home
. Rarity .
A Beautiful Heart
I feel like the populars get more hate then the un-populars. Or maybe its equal now
ZeldaCrossing64
Supa Cop
I actually had a good day at school for once, but I didn't even get to finish talking about it to my parents because they decided to get on my case about taking the dog outside instead. I know they had a bad day and that my dog almost ran off twice yesterday when I took her out, but they could've at least waited till I was done talking I guess? Now I'm in a really bad mood when I should be happy that I'm having my March break.
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
filling out a job application and they asked if I have a disability, I'm not legally required to answer but they're required by law to ask because they have to have their workforce be made up of at least 7% persons with disabilities. it's also a voluntary thing that I don't have to disclose. I looked up the issue and since autism is in fact something that will require some accommodations it's recommended that I tell them that I do in fact have a disability.
I know legally they can't not hire me bc of a disability but I always get so worried abt them coming up with some other BS excuse to not hire me when in reality it is because of my disability. they could just be like "oh we didn't hire you because you don't have much experience" when I'm actually qualified but I'm disabled as well. as if job hunting wasn't already difficult for me, I have to worry abt employers discriminating me behind closed doors.
also they asked for my gender and literally only let me choose from "Male" or "Female", they didn't even have a "Prefer not to say" option. luckily I was not required to answer it and I left the answer on "select one", but considering right above they mentioned that they don't discriminate for things like that, why would they not give at least a "prefer not to say" option?
I know legally they can't not hire me bc of a disability but I always get so worried abt them coming up with some other BS excuse to not hire me when in reality it is because of my disability. they could just be like "oh we didn't hire you because you don't have much experience" when I'm actually qualified but I'm disabled as well. as if job hunting wasn't already difficult for me, I have to worry abt employers discriminating me behind closed doors.
also they asked for my gender and literally only let me choose from "Male" or "Female", they didn't even have a "Prefer not to say" option. luckily I was not required to answer it and I left the answer on "select one", but considering right above they mentioned that they don't discriminate for things like that, why would they not give at least a "prefer not to say" option?
I’m having a mini existential crisis again. Normally I don’t care about that sort of thing, but hearing anyone talk about existentialism for long enough just sends me over the edge. It also creates paranoid thoughts that I have no way to answer. This time I think I’ll get back into regular exercise to balance out the hormones in my head. With that I should feel a bit better after a while.
ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
My skin feels like it's on fire. I've been dealing with eczema around my eyes for like a month now and it keeps flaring up. Then random bites appearing making my skin itchy. Then I must've touched something and touched my nose because it will not stop itching and feels like it's on fire. Ugghhh I have no idea what I'm allergic to but I wish it would stop 
(also really hope it's not the excess iron in the water rn because it's the only water supply we've got lol)
(also really hope it's not the excess iron in the water rn because it's the only water supply we've got lol)
ZeldaCrossing64
Supa Cop
I tried telling my dad that I suspect I have autism, and... Well, I won't quote exactly what he said, but he has some old-fashioned stigmas and opinions about the subject. I just felt he was being insensitive and confrontational about it. He also said some really hurtful and accusing things and I feel so much worse. I knew I shouldn't have told him.
On a less serious note, first day of my March break and my family's already pissed me off today. And I have a headache.
Tbh not going into detail but had a horrible time talking to my neighbour yesterday. Came over to ask how she was doing and about another contact, the discussion got lost in semantics and she made me feel stupid. She wasnt rude. Just feels like nothing positive came from it. Had to leave in the middle of it, got my mom to ask about that contact… and of course my neighbour hasnt found them, and I just had to explain and argue pointless stuff and thats detrimental making me relive trauma
plus she smokes and my asthmatic ass sure feels that
plus she smokes and my asthmatic ass sure feels that
xSuperMario64x
🇨🇦🩷 4 days 💜🇨🇦
may have to deactivate my current bank card and get a new one bc I keep getting charged for a Deluxe Membership in Webkinz even though I don't play frequently and I tried to cancel it months ago. support isn't helping at all. I'm getting really frustrated bc I don't have much money at all and then they go and take $6 out of my account.
also tired of people talking abt what they're planning on buying and how much money they have, like **** it must be nice to not be flat ****in broke and actually be able to buy things you need. good for you.
also tired of people talking abt what they're planning on buying and how much money they have, like **** it must be nice to not be flat ****in broke and actually be able to buy things you need. good for you.
