thinking about a lot of things, honestly. I really want to start working full-time so I can save as much money as possible. I'm getting kinda desperate to move out on my own, but I know that won't be able to happen for a while because I need to save up money first. I'm constantly worried about coming across as clingy or overbearing to my dear friends. I've already had some moments in the last few weeks where I could've seriously messed up some good relationships I have, I don't want to do that again. I just feel like there's a lot of changes happening in my life, and it's only gonna get worse and more intense over the next few months, and it stresses me out. my quirky and weird autistic mind doesn't know how to process so many strong emotions, it's been really difficult for me.
I'm exhausted but I'm also very impatient, I just want to hit the ground running and go. but I also know there are some things that need time and patience, it's very unreasonable for me to try to get into them so soon. and I know I'm being really vague, I don't want to make the details public. I'll just say I know that my life could be so much better, and I'm tired of waiting around for good things to come. I want to start working now for a better future for myself.
I think sometimes you gotta take the initiative to improve yourself, if you wait around you'll just keep being miserable and complacent. I hate settling for complacency. I know what I want and I'd like to start working towards that now.
I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to be in cornfield Ohio anymore. I'm not happy with my life right now. I'm really not. being in Ontario for a week and a half made me realize just how miserable I actually am at home, I need to get out of here. I believe there are some really wonderful things in store for me, but I need to take action now to make that happen.
I wish things didn't have to be so complicated sometimes