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What's Bothering You?

Begin hour 1 of 49 dedicated specifically to work and absolutely nothing else thanks to this week's idiotic schedule. Because of the way I've been scheduled with 3 shifts in a row beginning significantly earlier than the one before, it's basically go to work, go home and go right to sleep, wake up and go straight to work, back home and straight to sleep again, and then wake up and go straight back to work once more. It would be nice to be able to have at least some time to myself during that, but whatever.
 
the contrast between using tbt and getting to interact with generous, kind, sensible people on the regular, and then going on any social media ever and being surrounded by braindead jerks who say horrific things just ’cause they have the safety net of anonymity protecting them from any repercussions 😍

and then said social medias doing nothing to curb this whatsoever… like how did my comment telling someone that being bothered by a stranger’s weight is pigheaded and that overweight people are still deserving of human decency and respect go against community guidelines, but the actual comment i was replying to didn’t?? hello?????
 
Not so much a bother but another realisation:

There's nothing sadder than watching someone you still care about (despite no longer speaking to them) repeat the same mistakes over and over and realise that they have no awareness of what they're doing nor can you help them. The path they're on will forever repeat itself until they make some big changes with their behaviour especially if they want their friendships and relationships to be longterm. Otherwise they're going to wake up one day and realise they have no one left in their life.
 
one of my long-time best friends is ignoring me and i legitimately have no idea why or what i did wrong .-. last time i messaged them we were totally cool and talking about baldurs gate, and now she wont respond to any of my messages. but she's messaging my boyfriend.

i also commed her for $105 worth of art over a month ago so if she decides she wants to cut me off or stop being friends, or whatever, im doing a paypal chargeback bc. im sorry but wtf. literally just talk to me. what did i do wrong. if im being an *******, call it out. dont just snub me and run with my money.
 
thinking about a lot of things, honestly. I really want to start working full-time so I can save as much money as possible. I'm getting kinda desperate to move out on my own, but I know that won't be able to happen for a while because I need to save up money first. I'm constantly worried about coming across as clingy or overbearing to my dear friends. I've already had some moments in the last few weeks where I could've seriously messed up some good relationships I have, I don't want to do that again. I just feel like there's a lot of changes happening in my life, and it's only gonna get worse and more intense over the next few months, and it stresses me out. my quirky and weird autistic mind doesn't know how to process so many strong emotions, it's been really difficult for me.

I'm exhausted but I'm also very impatient, I just want to hit the ground running and go. but I also know there are some things that need time and patience, it's very unreasonable for me to try to get into them so soon. and I know I'm being really vague, I don't want to make the details public. I'll just say I know that my life could be so much better, and I'm tired of waiting around for good things to come. I want to start working now for a better future for myself.

I think sometimes you gotta take the initiative to improve yourself, if you wait around you'll just keep being miserable and complacent. I hate settling for complacency. I know what I want and I'd like to start working towards that now.

I don't want to be here anymore, I don't want to be in cornfield Ohio anymore. I'm not happy with my life right now. I'm really not. being in Ontario for a week and a half made me realize just how miserable I actually am at home, I need to get out of here. I believe there are some really wonderful things in store for me, but I need to take action now to make that happen.


I wish things didn't have to be so complicated sometimes 😞
 
Everytime I get my self esteem up... someone has to go and knock it down. I really wish I had someone who made me feel good about about myself and liked me for who I am but I have no one. Clearly nobody likes me.
 
TalviSyreni said:
Not so much a bother but another realisation:

There's nothing sadder than watching someone you still care about (despite no longer speaking to them) repeat the same mistakes over and over and realise that they have no awareness of what they're doing nor can you help them. The path they're on will forever repeat itself until they make some big changes with their behaviour especially if they want their friendships and relationships to be longterm. Otherwise they're going to wake up one day and realise they have no one left in their life.
Click to expand...
That's their choice to make and their own demons to fight with! I am sure they shall realize in their own time, until then it is their own journey and they can be the only one who can realize this. Everybody else can only nudge them in the right direction.
 
My cousin's Memorial this weekend... He died too soon.

Im not ready. I'll never be ready for events like this..
--
This year has been nothing but death. I lost so many loved ones this year. I don't know how my sanity is still here.

If antone doesnt mind. I could really use a friend right now
 
Last edited:
Minor complaint but my health care provider left the system. Now I'll have to go through the paperwork again. 🫥
 
So, today I decided to check the website of the theatre company that hosts the Saturday morning class I take, and I found out that our musical director is leaving. I am not a happy man.
 
Just sent an accidental voicemail of me totally messing up my words and asking my sister for help to the woman who will probably be my new boss... i'm so embarrassed right now😖
 
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