My grand dad passed away a bit ago. He had a full life and he had his kids with him so it doesn’t make me too sad in itself, but something else has made me angry.
Of course my mom and a lot of my family are grieving so I’m letting them be but my dad is actually just… awful. the other day a hose leading into the sink slid out and my mom asked for help cleaning it, and he was angry at her going like “WHAT” and he does his usual schpiel of saying he’s not angry. I actually have a recording of part of this argument but he made it about him, and he did the same thing as always of bringing up her ex from 40 years ago. (He has a list of a few topics and phrases he pulls out ad nauseam for arguments. He just wants to argue, not make any points.) My mom said that if he’s going to be like that he shouldn’t come to the funeral (and frankly I agree), but he spun it like she insulted his entire family.
I just don’t understand how somebody can be so motivated by hate. To be honest I don’t like either of my parents because of what they’ve put me through, but it’s not an excuse to act like he did. None of my other family have tried at all to reach out to or pass a message to me either, I’m not trying to make it about me but that kinda feels negligent to me.
Anyway, with my dad though, I stood up for my mom because it was really not the time. And so I asked him about the truth I’ve wondered for a long time, and I asked if he just doesn’t wanna look bad in front of me. “Well, no,” “well you do, you look like [explitives]” I can’t take this guy. I’ve been in this position of being the one to shut down arguments literally since I was a kid. He just made it about himself unprovoked. He should be ashamed of himself.
My dad doesn’t even seem to treat anyone else like a human considering he just seems to communicate in buying stuff nobody asked for and how he makes everything transactional, I think he’s only lighter on me because he looks down on me as his kid or part of his family by default (assumption), I wouldn’t be surprised if he was actually a psychopath. Why is it us man… why is it us… my mom should never have let things get to the point she did and tossed her problems on me when I was growing up but nobody I know deserves to be stuck with this guy.