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What's Bothering You?
- Thread starter Oblivia
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ali.di.magix
🌟💫🌟💫
why is it that every assignment I do I'm either: waiting on my teammates to pull their weight, or somewhat ahead of other people waiting for them to help me validate my own work? 
There's this girl I've had a crush on and I'm debating whether to tell her about it. I get nervous whenever she wants to video chat or call and I feel like I make a fool of myself because I just get intimidated by how lovely she is. I make odd jokes and just like, get really socially awkward.
I also don't know if it'd be the right thing to do because she has a boyfriend but at the same time I keep getting vibes she's flirting because of things she says/tells me or hinting at something more or that she has feelings and hfslfhjsklfhsjdk I'm just a confused pansexual
Girls are so intimidating ugh
I also don't know if it'd be the right thing to do because she has a boyfriend but at the same time I keep getting vibes she's flirting because of things she says/tells me or hinting at something more or that she has feelings and hfslfhjsklfhsjdk I'm just a confused pansexual
Girls are so intimidating ugh
I hate my life so ****ing much I just want to give up. I just want to lay down on the floor and never get up again.
I'm just gonna shut up. What's the point of talking and telling anyone my feelings when no one cares. People say they care but they usually have their own stuff to deal with so who am I to pile my stuff on top of theirs. I have no way of helping myself get over this so I guess this is my life now. Crying and hating life and lying to others constantly about how I'm feeling. This is such a depressing life all I do is rant and cry. I'll just come home and cry everyday after and before work this is my new norm now I guess.
Also for some reason I couldn't put the ' ' around health in order to make it a SPOILER so just pretend there's ' ' around the word health.
My job makes me cry more and more each day and stesses me out and is the main source of my depression now (yay back with depression I thought I got over in December). I told my parents I was gonna put in my 2 weeks and they just told me to stop showing to the customers that I'm irritated and I need to get over it cause nepotism and lazy workers and ******* bosses are everywhere and when I apply for new job all my manager will say is that I have an attitude problem with customers and not that I'm constantly reliable and always come in when called and that I'm fast at my work and that I want to learn more.
I'm so sick and tired of crying over a job that I don't need to support myself, I don't even have alot of obligations to be feeling like I'm stuck here. I could quit and be financially fine but when I go to apply for a new job my manager will only say all the negative things and not the 2+ years of work I've put in with this **** company.
I hate my life so ****ing much. Everythin just piles up and irritates me, and people around me don't want to talk to me cause I'm always mad. My parents get mad at me cause I have no patience but they can't possibly relate to what I'm going throu rn.
I just need to keep pushing down any bad emotion which I'm not good at doin clearly. I told myself I'd quit once this whole pandemic blows over, fully knowing it would last months but I can't take this anymore. I always say I can't take this anymore and yet I do, I keep putting myself in this situation damn near daily.
My parents don't see that I'm crying constantly over this job otherwise I'd hope they would be a little better with it other then 'get over it find a way to not show you're irritated'.
I'm so sick and tired of crying over a job that I don't need to support myself, I don't even have alot of obligations to be feeling like I'm stuck here. I could quit and be financially fine but when I go to apply for a new job my manager will only say all the negative things and not the 2+ years of work I've put in with this **** company.
I hate my life so ****ing much. Everythin just piles up and irritates me, and people around me don't want to talk to me cause I'm always mad. My parents get mad at me cause I have no patience but they can't possibly relate to what I'm going throu rn.
I just need to keep pushing down any bad emotion which I'm not good at doin clearly. I told myself I'd quit once this whole pandemic blows over, fully knowing it would last months but I can't take this anymore. I always say I can't take this anymore and yet I do, I keep putting myself in this situation damn near daily.
My parents don't see that I'm crying constantly over this job otherwise I'd hope they would be a little better with it other then 'get over it find a way to not show you're irritated'.
Not only that but I get tired easily, I can't stay up as long as I used to be able too, my injury hurts daily now, along with other muscles and joints that weren't feeling worn/mild hurting before. I'm not eating as much as I should cause my breaks, if I get any, are short and I have no time to eat anythin substantial. I generally don't feel like eating, even if I'm hungry, unless it's a food I really like, which is sweets or grilled cheese, which I can't have everyday obviously.
I'm just gonna shut up. What's the point of talking and telling anyone my feelings when no one cares. People say they care but they usually have their own stuff to deal with so who am I to pile my stuff on top of theirs. I have no way of helping myself get over this so I guess this is my life now. Crying and hating life and lying to others constantly about how I'm feeling. This is such a depressing life all I do is rant and cry. I'll just come home and cry everyday after and before work this is my new norm now I guess.
Also for some reason I couldn't put the ' ' around health in order to make it a SPOILER so just pretend there's ' ' around the word health.
spawnpoint
Take a chance! 🎲
I just poked myself in the arm and it hurts real bad now, geez
A word of advice; take it or toss it out, up to you, but situations where a SO is already involved can be very... messy. Unless, she's in an open relationship, in which case that's totally fine. If not, I'd try not to go further.
I was in a similar situation some years back; I met this girl online playing a game, actually. At the time I wasn't... interested in girls, and I was oblivious to her advances, but she won me over in time and I decided to give it a try. Well, I found out later she had a boyfriend, which was super uncomfortable... especially because the guy found out and blah blah blah tons of drama and headache/heartache for me.
I do hope your story has a happier ending that mine.
I'm not going to pretend that I can truly empathize with your situation, but I can say that I've been through my fair of terrible bosses hellbent on breaking me down. Used to have a boss that would regulate her morning coffee to be my personal task. I had to get her order just right and bring that in on the daily, as well as clean up her work-space... and some other stuff. Naturally, none of that was in my job description, but whatever I guess. I felt pretty terrible for a long while, didn't talk to anyone really; grew distant from my friends... I was just in a bad place mentally for a while.
The only place I found solace was through games; going on some grand adventure in a JRPG with some awesome characters was really the escape I needed. Anyway, there is no cure-all or quick switch you can flip to make your life better. Personally, I just grasp at whatever little things give me joy these days; it also helps that I no longer work for that terrible boss.
Anyway, I won't say that it'll get better, because I don't know that, but what I can say is, you're strong if you can put up with that ridiculous job environment for two years. I wish you all the best, too.
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As for what's bothering me...? I guess I'm hungry. I haven't eaten anything in 48 hours or so. Aside from that, I guess the fact that I don't talk to people much anymore, and by extention, I don't really have many friends these days. Most of the time, I'm okay with being a loner, but sometimes I really do want to share stuff with someone, or just chat about... anything, with someone, but then I look around and go, "Oh, I don't really have anyone to talk to, well okay then."
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Yeah... if she's already taken then I'd back off
I appreciate the advice even though it was 100% a vent post and not searching for advice lol. I wouldn't contemplate telling her if I wasn't sure the situation were appropriate and if it would cause harm to her or her relationship. An open relationship was a green light on her end and it's a green light on mine as well, and that was one of the reasons I was considering telling her at all.
I'm probably just gonna stuff the feelings in a box and ignore them and hope they go away. I'm just not used to having actual crushes and don't really know how or what to do with them since I've only had, like, 2 despite being in plenty of relationships/dynamics
sorry lol. And yeah I've been there. ik how it feels. :/
I hope you get your chance someday though~
Thank you for replying! It's so nice to know people actually read the stuff I post and comment somethin.
I feel like I'm falling apart and that I'm not strong, strong peole don't cry over a job, much less when they don't live paycheck to paycheck, which I don't. At this point I'm still ****bent on putting in my 2 weeks notice (which I don't actually know how to do so when I go to work tomorrow I'm gonna ask my asst manager who is much easier to talk to than any of my other managers) cause at this point it's either I quit on a bad note or I get fired for blowing up on a customer, which I'm gonna imagine looks worse. Both are bad but at this point I feel like I've dug myself too deep of a hole to get out of, customers have complained multiple times and I've already gotten written up once. I feel like if I get 1 more complaint then I'll either get suspended, which I don't know if I even get suspended or straight up fired.
