What's Bothering You?

[moo_nieu]

Your feelings are completely justified, and frankly I'm angry just reading the stuff that your s/o has said to you in that regard. It seems that he's not taking it seriously ENOUGH.

It's a shame it takes until situations like this for ppl to reveal their ugly side... I can't speak to his character as a whole but his actions here are not okay. Stuff like "you're going to ruin our relationship" or "I feel like something's gonna come along that's too much for you to handle" sounds like he's shifting accountability from himself, and sounds boneheaded at best and manipulative at worst.

thanks for your response. It’s nice to have some support another friend also messaged me, so I am feeling a bit better. Yeah, I agree that those are pretty messed up things to say. Here’s hoping he’s just afraid on his own and not sure how to process it or something like that. I have struggled with anxiety and depression in my life, so those words aren’t from nowhere (me having been overwhelmed by life in the past and him supporting me through it). I don’t blame him for that worry (although I feel I have displayed persistence and support in the face of adversity and been there for him when he needs, I can never know how much more support he has felt he needed.. sorry if that was confusing. I mean to say that he’s felt let down by my anxiety in the past). Anyways I’m hoping to talk more with him and reach more of a conclusion today. Thanks for reaching out though, I feel sane now

 

[Katzenjammer]

So, long story short, over the weekend there was an event held across the street from me. There were quite a lot of people that showed up. No one was wearing masks or social distancing in any way. There were other issues, but just seriously? It was a family thing too so kids may have been there too. I see why my town is a hot spot for covid and I am praying my parents, who are up there in age, continue to stay safe. One of my mom's friends just died from covid for crying out loud! It sucks when people don't care.

 

[deana]

Spoiler: long

I can’t sleep. I’m terrified of having to go to a dinner party for thanksgiving at my s/o’s grandmas house in south florida. We will be there 2-3 nights and I’m just losing it. I don’t want to go travel and I don’t want to go have a food sharing close sitting holiday just to pretend like Covid doesn’t exist. My s/o is pretty upset that I feel this way, and basically feels that my fear is ruining our relationship. I told him I would still go, but just woke up crying and scared. I didn’t want to tell him why I was sad, but I did. He says he thinks it’s extremely unattractive and a hinderance and makes him not want to be with me. I don’t understand. I’m not being irrational. He told me that he heard if you completely wrap your head in cellophane then you can’t get the virus. Honestly this caused a big fight in our house a day ago when I said that I was scared and did not want to go. It’s just a dinner party, and I don’t want to risk the disease. I don’t want to go ;-; we’ve been together for 4.5 years, but he’s said he always thought some big thing would come along that I wouldn’t be able to handle and it would ruin us. He says that his coworkers have kids and they all go to school and have dinner parties so if I’m being irrational. One of our friends has Covid right now and is suffering. He isn’t going to die, but I don’t want to spend my last final weeks of college feeling miserable. It’s not worth the risk I’m so upset that my rightful worry is being treated like I’m some irrational crybaby. I think I’m worthy of these feelings and it doesn’t make me a burden.

edit: I’ve decided that my feelings are rational and I am not a coward or a slave to my emotions for feeling this way. I’m not going to put myself at extra risk for a dinner. I won’t stop my s/o from going obviously, but if this is what ends our relationship then I guess that’s just how it is. Going to call his grandma today and let her know how I feel. I’m sure she will be understanding and not shame me

Wow, are you me?? Similar conversations have been going on in my house regarding restaurants and family gatherings. My partner thinks it's no biggy but I refuse to go. I told him that he can do what he wants and to respect my choices of what I am personally comfortable with but he definitely thinks I'm over reacting. :/

I'm very very sad that your s/o thinks of it as ruining your relationship though. That seems like a bit of a childish overreaction and I hope that is just a frustration and that he will come around to be more understanding in time. I think everyone is just really exhausted over all this virus stuff and some people seem to be responding to that by just really trying to force things "back to normal" when really I think we all need to be vigilant and make sure we are keeping up good practices. I think in a few months when you look back it's going to be quite obvious that you were right in this situation and hopefully he can see that too.

 

[Dunquixote]

if my feelings insist on getting hurt so often, the least they could do is get hurt over stuff that actually matters

/hugs Aw I’m sorry. If you need to vent, my dms are always open. I know you know but just wanted to tell you I’m here for you .

Spoiler: long

I can’t sleep. I’m terrified of having to go to a dinner party for thanksgiving at my s/o’s grandmas house in south florida. We will be there 2-3 nights and I’m just losing it. I don’t want to go travel and I don’t want to go have a food sharing close sitting holiday just to pretend like Covid doesn’t exist. My s/o is pretty upset that I feel this way, and basically feels that my fear is ruining our relationship. I told him I would still go, but just woke up crying and scared. I didn’t want to tell him why I was sad, but I did. He says he thinks it’s extremely unattractive and a hinderance and makes him not want to be with me. I don’t understand. I’m not being irrational. He told me that he heard if you completely wrap your head in cellophane then you can’t get the virus. Honestly this caused a big fight in our house a day ago when I said that I was scared and did not want to go. It’s just a dinner party, and I don’t want to risk the disease. I don’t want to go ;-; we’ve been together for 4.5 years, but he’s said he always thought some big thing would come along that I wouldn’t be able to handle and it would ruin us. He says that his coworkers have kids and they all go to school and have dinner parties so if I’m being irrational. One of our friends has Covid right now and is suffering. He isn’t going to die, but I don’t want to spend my last final weeks of college feeling miserable. It’s not worth the risk I’m so upset that my rightful worry is being treated like I’m some irrational crybaby. I think I’m worthy of these feelings and it doesn’t make me a burden.

edit: I’ve decided that my feelings are rational and I am not a coward or a slave to my emotions for feeling this way. I’m not going to put myself at extra risk for a dinner. I won’t stop my s/o from going obviously, but if this is what ends our relationship then I guess that’s just how it is. Going to call his grandma today and let her know how I feel. I’m sure she will be understanding and not shame me

I’m sorry Moo. I hope things work out for you. I think your feelings are rational and I’d be upset as much as you are. And that is terrible about what he said about you being emotional being unattractive . Nothing wrong with being emotional or for being worried about the everyone’s well being because of covid and wanting to continue to take precautions. It shows you are a human being and that you treasure the people in your life. If you ever want to chat and vent or chat about non related stuff, my dm and wall is always open . No pressure though. My heart goes out to you and hope things get better for you. Sending some positive wishes and vibes your way

 

[moo_nieu]

Wow, are you me?? Similar conversations have been going on in my house regarding restaurants and family gatherings. My partner thinks it's no biggy but I refuse to go. I told him that he can do what he wants and to respect my choices of what I am personally comfortable with but he definitely thinks I'm over reacting. :/

I'm very very sad that your s/o thinks of it as ruining your relationship though. That seems like a bit of a childish overreaction and I hope that is just a frustration and that he will come around to be more understanding in time. I think everyone is just really exhausted over all this virus stuff and some people seem to be responding to that by just really trying to force things "back to normal" when really I think we all need to be vigilant and make sure we are keeping up good practices. I think in a few months when you look back it's going to be quite obvious that you were right in this situation and hopefully he can see that too.

Thanks for responding, I didn’t realize how common this was for couples/families/roommates! It feels good to not be alone in it, and I agree with you, I think everyone is struggling and is coping differently.

I’m sorry you’re also having to deal with this though. It’s definitely stressful. I hope your partner becomes more validating of your concerns. I also hope everyone can come to agree on the situation in the next few months. This is not something that can be overcome unless the world works together, ya know. Im pretty nervous about what’s going to happen over the holiday season... we can only control our own behavior though.

update: I must have shifted dimensions or something b/c me not wanting to attend the dinner is now no longer an issue whatsoever. I don’t know if my s/o had a dream or something but everything is well again. Yes, I do realize that is actually a red flag, but I’m just happy to be understood. Thanks for everyone’s support, and I hope you’re all able to come understandings with your loved ones as well. Who knew safety precautions were such a controversial subject.

Post automatically merged: Nov 23, 2020

/hugs Aw I’m sorry. If you need to vent, my dms are always open. I know you know but just wanted to tell you I’m here for you ❤.



I’m sorry Moo. I hope things work out for you. I think your feelings are rational and I’d be upset as much as you are. And that is terrible about what he said about you being emotional being unattractive . Nothing wrong with being emotional or for being worried about the everyone’s well being because of covid and wanting to continue to take precautions. It shows you are a human being and that you treasure the people in your life. If you ever want to chat and vent or chat about non related stuff, my dm and wall is always open . No pressure though. My heart goes out to you and hope things get better for you. Sending some positive wishes and vibes your way

thank you <3 this was very kind c: emotions are beautiful, but I definitely struggle with keeping a level-head haha i have to actively practice it
Still, I agree, they’re definitely warranted in a situation like this.

for sure, I’d love to chat sometime (I’ll dm you my discord ID later if that’s cool with you). You can also message me if you ever need to talk/vent
Sending some positive vibes back your way

 

[Dunquixote]

I am a bit bothered by how disrespectful people can be about other’s opinions. It is okay to disagree but don’t bash others please. It is very disappointing to see this regardless what social media or site it is (since some are more notorious than others for having rude people and trolls like reddit; caused me so much unnecessary stress that i stopped trying to post even why i have questions about a game).

 

[frogslime]

I don't feel like myself, and I haven't for the last couple of months. I don't know what to do about it.

 

[Reginald Fairfield]

Pro hoc vice.

 

[MapleSilver]

Just when I think fruit flies are gone for the year, I see one of them fly past me. Was going to have a snack but I just know the second I do, that same fruit fly will dive right into it.

 

[Zane]

wow sometimes I really hate my body and the varied, neverending pains and discomforts it subjects me to against all my best efforts

 

[Dunquixote]

This is very minor and is related to turkey day in the game.

Spoiler: Turkey day spoilers

When the datamine information came out, I thought for sure some of the food items would be given to us on Turkey day, but I am sad that not only we aren’t getting the vinegar bottle or bag of flour, but we aren’t getting a furniture version of the meal we’re cooking (or at least as far as I can tell). I thought we’d get more food items for sure; I don’t count the casserole one as one unless we can customize it where the lid is off and is showing the food. really bummed since i was really looking forward to food furniture. the new furniture is nice and am happy we’re getting anything and the event sounds fun, but... idk doesn’t make sense to have thanksgiving without a lot of food or food items

 

[_Rainy_]

I really haven’t had the best day today. I had it out with my roommate and it had been a long time coming. I had plans today to get a lot of art done and instead I talked with them for hours about crap I just don’t have the energy for. Everything worked out and I feel like we’re in a much better place now, but I just feel exhausted.

 

[Dunquixote]

I really haven’t had the best day today. I had it out with my roommate and it had been a long time coming. I had plans today to get a lot of art done and instead I talked with them for hours about crap I just don’t have the energy for. Everything worked out and I feel like we’re in a much better place now, but I just feel exhausted. Also feeling a bit confused by someone I’m close to because they said they wanted to talk to me, but they kind of blew me off. I’d have been perfectly fine if they said they didn’t want to, but they told me they did. I really don’t think they did so now I’m kind of just feeling sad and a little hurt.

Ah I am sorry you had a bad day. >< ugh i am so bad at reading moods. i am glad i deleted the Buggy picture. I was honestly just trying to make you laugh even though I know how you feel about clowns . And i fell asleep when you might’ve needed someone to talk too. I hope I wasn’t insensitive to you .

 

[_Rainy_]

Ah I am sorry you had a bad day. >< ugh i am so bad at reading moods. i am glad i deleted the Buggy picture. I was honestly just trying to make you laugh even though I know how you feel about clowns . And i fell asleep when you might’ve needed someone to talk too. I hope I wasn’t insensitive to you .

Your fine and I would have laughed at the picture you didn’t need to delete it friend

 

[skarmoury]

Spoiler: long

I can’t sleep. I’m terrified of having to go to a dinner party for thanksgiving at my s/o’s grandmas house in south florida. We will be there 2-3 nights and I’m just losing it. I don’t want to go travel and I don’t want to go have a food sharing close sitting holiday just to pretend like Covid doesn’t exist. My s/o is pretty upset that I feel this way, and basically feels that my fear is ruining our relationship. I told him I would still go, but just woke up crying and scared. I didn’t want to tell him why I was sad, but I did. He says he thinks it’s extremely unattractive and a hinderance and makes him not want to be with me. I don’t understand. I’m not being irrational. He told me that he heard if you completely wrap your head in cellophane then you can’t get the virus. Honestly this caused a big fight in our house a day ago when I said that I was scared and did not want to go. It’s just a dinner party, and I don’t want to risk the disease. I don’t want to go ;-; we’ve been together for 4.5 years, but he’s said he always thought some big thing would come along that I wouldn’t be able to handle and it would ruin us. He says that his coworkers have kids and they all go to school and have dinner parties so if I’m being irrational. One of our friends has Covid right now and is suffering. He isn’t going to die, but I don’t want to spend my last final weeks of college feeling miserable. It’s not worth the risk I’m so upset that my rightful worry is being treated like I’m some irrational crybaby. I think I’m worthy of these feelings and it doesn’t make me a burden.

edit: I’ve decided that my feelings are rational and I am not a coward or a slave to my emotions for feeling this way. I’m not going to put myself at extra risk for a dinner. I won’t stop my s/o from going obviously, but if this is what ends our relationship then I guess that’s just how it is. Going to call his grandma today and let her know how I feel. I’m sure she will be understanding and not shame me

Wow. Your S/O thinking you're the one in the wrong is really bad, especially when so many people including the health workforce are suffering because of it. Your feelings are valid and not irrational, and I'm glad you've come to realize that as well. That was what I felt before when our neighborhood was having some sort of party elsewhere, I refused to go but my family forced me because everyone else was going and I'd be left alone in the house. I was told I was irrational and stuff and though our virus counts in the city were low at the time, I still didn't think it's an irrational thing to take this pandemic a little more seriously. Anyway, if your S/O thinks this is some sort of deal-breaker in your relationship, then I suppose it says a lot about how he prioritizes things. Above all else, if he really did love you then he should know where you're coming from and why you feel this way. It's shouldn't be rocket science to him.

-----
UhhHHH I'm getting really anxious over the impending requirements for the rest of the semester. I feel like this sem has been dragging for way longer than I thought it would, and i really just want to rest now. I know our new module still starts on thursday but i feel like resting isn't an option. I feel I should be doing academic stuff right now but I can't bring myself to do them. I feel like a ****ty student.

 

[Midoriya]

Nevermind, I’ll be okay.

 

[Xara]

i slept through my morning class :/

 

[Mr_Persona]

Having this pain on my back but it doesn't hurt, it like having a lot of weight on my back and l am feeling really down. But l don't know why l get this when l'm really down. Stupid back and even my throat feels the same weird pain. I actually never felt this way for a dream collectible. But l think l know why. But it's been on my mind for months and years.

Post automatically merged: Nov 24, 2020

i slept through my morning class :/

Hope your teachers understand

 

[moo_nieu]

Wow. Your S/O thinking you're the one in the wrong is really bad, especially when so many people including the health workforce are suffering because of it. Your feelings are valid and not irrational, and I'm glad you've come to realize that as well. That was what I felt before when our neighborhood was having some sort of party elsewhere, I refused to go but my family forced me because everyone else was going and I'd be left alone in the house. I was told I was irrational and stuff and though our virus counts in the city were low at the time, I still didn't think it's an irrational thing to take this pandemic a little more seriously. Anyway, if your S/O thinks this is some sort of deal-breaker in your relationship, then I suppose it says a lot about how he prioritizes things. Above all else, if he really did love you then he should know where you're coming from and why you feel this way. It's shouldn't be rocket science to him.

-----
UhhHHH I'm getting really anxious over the impending requirements for the rest of the semester. I feel like this sem has been dragging for way longer than I thought it would, and i really just want to rest now. I know our new module still starts on thursday but i feel like resting isn't an option. I feel I should be doing academic stuff right now but I can't bring myself to do them. I feel like a ****ty student.

thanks for reaching out, and yeah i don't think he meant it to be mean. I think he is just also worried, and didn't really deal with it in a great way. I'm a little embarrassed about how much attention my post got to be honest We've talked and things are fine about it now, I've told everyone that I won't be traveling for at least a few months and so far both of our families are really understanding. He's free to travel as he wants of course, we have enough rooms to distance from each other inside the house if we need to. Yeah i also thought what he said was really drastic, but sometimes people don't know the best words to express how they feel. At least that's how i see it.

Sorry you're stressing so much over school :C you're not a bad student, it's really difficult for a lot of people to keep up the motivation when structure is sort of out the window and it's only piles of assignments and deadlines. I feel it too. We're almost there though

 

[Plume]