What's Bothering You?

I’m doing pretty good today though I still feel a bit depressed. It is a little confusing. I am happy for the most part today, but I feel like there is something weighing that down and I feel mentally tired. I’m a bit depressed but no idea why aside from pms. Really happy about a lot of things and want to draw some more as well as work on my island journal but I have no energy. :/ My computer just froze when I was trying to message someone.
 
so apparently when we went out to eat some people were staring at me. like a lot. 😐
I am openly lgbt+ (as in, my very colorful/rainbow jewellery is a dead giveaway) so that prob did it unfortunately 🤷

I personally didn't notice but my uncle said he saw them and he would state back at them if they tried to stare at me. I guess my first transphobic experience was okay but I really don't want to have to deal with ignorant/stupid people my whole life.



also nothing pains me more than having to use a women's restroom in public but 1. I kinda don't pass well bc I'm nb, and 2. I'm in Alabama, redneck country. really wish gender neutral restrooms would become the norm 😑
 
Never mind. I posted it in contact the staff in case this was a mistake.
 
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I just looked at my work schedule and they have me working from 8-6:30 at no point was it discussed that I’d be working those hours tomorrow. Considering it’s ten and a half hours and I’m going to be exhausted I think I have a right to be upset with them for not discussing it with me unless it was an accident which they do all the time. I agreed to work for that person, but they said it was starting Monday. At least I looked at my schedule today because I’d be pretty upset if I learned about this tomorrow instead. I’m not ready need to go to the store for snacks.
 
I had a small panic attack because I thought a former classmate said "you're her worst ex" a few weeks ago. They also claimed that they told them to break up with me back in March. I know it isn't true. I heard far worse stories about other people they dated and I didn't do anything particularly bad. Sure I was clingy, but that didn't warrant the lack of effort, lies, block, and angry playlist.

Only one more month and I'm free from this awful area. I can finally go to college, be in a city I like, and be able to walk outside without running into those jerks. At least my noise cancelling headphones block 90% of their gaslighting and nasty comments.
 
people on social media passive-aggressively posting "activism" spam comments on random niche company's profiles because it's their "right" lol.
 
My therapist is moving to a new building soon, and I’m kind of intimidated by it. It’s really big and I’m used to the small cozy offices I’ve been going to for years. She assures me the vibe is good and strives to make it as comfortable as possible, but i’m still not looking forward to it. I could still visit someone else office since she’s just going indepenent from them but yeah @_@

Sorry if it sounds silly but my environment has such a huge impact on my mood. Time of day and weather in particular.
Hope its okay for me to comment on this, just wanted to say that no1. doesn't sound silly at all! and no2. I think it is such an underestimated issue that needs careful consideration. Physical environments can have a very large impact on our psychology, and I personally believe that this should be taken into account more with things like schools, businesses, offices, mental health facilities, etc. Feeling safe and positive in a space is very important, especially for therapy when you need to be able to talk about personal issues. Going to a large and possibly clinical-looking building can be incredibly intimidating so I hope it works out for you.
 
another bad day today ig. my anxiety is really bad. I've got a lot on my mind and no one to talk to abt it 1. who will understand and 2. without them trying to butt in constantly. I also really don't want to go home.

wish I wasn't so miserable nonstop 😞
 
Nothing terrible but I know weight can be a hard topic for some people so I wanted to put it in a spoiler tab.

I’ve gained weight 🙃 I want to cry. This past month or so has just been terrible. I hurt my shoulder. I’m breaking out more. And I’ve gained weight. I went to wear one of my zip up skirts and while I could still zip it up it was really tight. I used to be able to wear it with a thicker sweater underneath during the winter! Could barely zip it up with just a thin shirt.

I’ll have to start monitoring my eating and such I suppose. I can’t do any intensive workouts because my shoulder still hurts but I’ll try to do some lighter stuff.

I hate it. I’ve always had a rocky relationship with my weight and this happening in conjunction with the other things is just a lot.
 
My stomach hurts today, I hope it doesn’t end up hurting all day like it does sometimes because I have a long work day ahead of me and I don’t need this right now.
 
Just woke up to see some guy called me a cheap ass on twitter for asking for a game to be more friendly to f2p players. Thankfully someone stuck up for me, but this is why I don’t post cheering football (soccer teams) on anymore or watch it or participate on reddit on any of the game sites. like dude i have no money or job and $160 to be able to get a weapon for unit even then is freaking ridiculous. **** you *******. thank goodness there are a lot more kind people or respectful enough to not comment if they disagree.

sorry just upset.
 
I painted my nails green and silver (where my Slytherins at?) and I removed it today and my nails are stained yellow where the green polish was. Looks like the nails of a chain smoker :sick: I thought using a base coat was supposed to prevent this?
 
i've got a real problem with my current job and i'm not sure what to say to my boss without coming across as hostile.
 
I want to draw or work on my island journal but still no energy and that rude comment still is bothering me.I kinda feel like going back to sleep. Been thinking about my island journal and been thinking that it was a mistake of turning into a small story and making photoshop projects out of every entry. Still embarrassed and upset I made a friend uncomfortable recently and have been rethinking a lot of things I do and say.

I am still feeling better than I had been for a few weeks, but just troubled by a few things.
 
I feel like all I’m doing is complaining today, but I have to pretend to be happy and like there’s nothing wrong when I’m getting stabbing pains in my stomach from eating ice cream. I’m not sick I’m just an idiot. It turns out that there was a mix up with the schedule and I tried to see if the person wanted their hours back today, but they didn’t want them because they’re preparing to go on a trip. I’m supposed to be shopping for someone right now, but I need some time to myself. I rarely ever take a lunch break, so I have to remind myself that it’s ok to. I’m just in my car curled up in my seat in a parking lot feeling sorry for myself.
 
I feel like all I’m doing is complaining today, but I have to pretend to be happy and like there’s nothing wrong when I’m getting stabbing pains in my stomach from eating ice cream. I’m not sick I’m just an idiot. It turns out that there was a mix up with the schedule and I tried to see if the person wanted their hours back today, but they didn’t want them because they’re preparing to go on a trip. I’m supposed to be shopping for someone right now, but I need some time to myself. I rarely ever take a lunch break, so I have to remind myself that it’s ok to. I’m just in my car curled up in my seat in a parking lot feeling sorry for myself.

wow… because they are planning on going on a trip… 🤨😑 I’m sorry friend :( i hope you feel better soon.
 
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