What's Bothering You?

Racing thoughts. I should be sleeping but the email from streamily still is bugging me. Like why say unfortunately the print was signed when they cannot change special requests once the order is put in? And if they could, well it was because they never got the email that i sent not long after placing the order. People make mistakes with their instructions or rush when it is a limited so they don’t miss chance to purchase the print, so I wish they would give us one exception for order; I say once since i know they would get an overabundant amount of request changes. I replied saying i did not understand why they said something i knew since i watched the signing and the unfortunately when the instructions couldn’t be changed and I didn’t appreciate it. I tried to be respectful about it though; I also suggested maybe they add the rule about not being able the change the special instructions above the line in the form since if it is a limited print, the print could sometimes sell out fast so checking back on the faq page could cost you the chance to buy the print. also who would think to check there when they think they won’t make any mistakes?
 
idk how many of my fellow autistic ppl can relate but I hate hate hate when someone refers to a person with Aspergers as "aspies." I know they're all well-intentioned but jfc it just irritates me so much. I don't think it's cute or makes anything better for people who actually are autistic. it's just weird and annoying.

as a matter of fact I'm starting to get annoyed when people say I have aspergers instead of just saying I'm autistic, as if they're two different things. saying that someone has aspergers has been used so many times to deny them the help that they need because many people assume that we're all just super smart and dont have the same problems as other autistic people (which is a total lie). I get so tired of my mom telling people I have aspergers, like no I'm autistic just say that. it's almost like saying someone is autistic is equated to them bring stupid (which is also why I get so p'ed off when someone uses it as an insult).
 
idk how many of my fellow autistic ppl can relate but I hate hate hate when someone refers to a person with Aspergers as "aspies." I know they're all well-intentioned but jfc it just irritates me so much. I don't think it's cute or makes anything better for people who actually are autistic. it's just weird and annoying.

as a matter of fact I'm starting to get annoyed when people say I have aspergers instead of just saying I'm autistic, as if they're two different things. saying that someone has aspergers has been used so many times to deny them the help that they need because many people assume that we're all just super smart and dont have the same problems as other autistic people (which is a total lie). I get so tired of my mom telling people I have aspergers, like no I'm autistic just say that. it's almost like saying someone is autistic is equated to them bring stupid (which is also why I get so p'ed off when someone uses it as an insult).
Tbh I prefer people separating autism and asperger cause they are not really the same thing, and a lot of people have autism stereotype judgemental mindset if you say "autism spectrum syndrome" stuff or likewise. And people need to learn how high-functioning asperger people work.

Annnyway on topic idc if people say aspie or not, couldn't care less. As long as they separate it I suppose.
 
Tbh I prefer people separating autism and asperger cause they are not really the same thing, and a lot of people have autism stereotype judgemental mindset if you say "autism spectrum syndrome" stuff or likewise. And people need to learn how high-functioning asperger people work.
the term aspergers has always been synonymous with "high-functioning autism", and that's another phrase I don't like because someone could use that as an excuse to deny someone like me any service/help or act like nothing is wrong. it's generally accepted now that there is no "high" or "low" functioning autism, just different people with differing levels of needs, and thus phrases like "aspergers" are pretty much outdated.
 
I've been having a rough day. My treadmill that I use for exercise just broke down, my parents are just being noisy and arguing with each other, and of course I fell and hurt my knee. I am just feeling so defeated right now, combined with all the craziness thats going on in the world.....
 
the term aspergers has always been synonymous with "high-functioning autism", and that's another phrase I don't like because someone could use that as an excuse to deny someone like me any service/help or act like nothing is wrong. it's generally accepted now that there is no "high" or "low" functioning autism, just different people with differing levels of needs, and thus phrases like "aspergers" are pretty much outdated.
Tell that to a lot of parents and people in general. And yeah they do use that for an excuse, why I also think it's better to keep them separated rather than use on umbrella autism spectrum terminology for it. I disagree it has been outdated to be honest, I mean if anything people assume "oh autism yeah you probs don't work at all" whereas Asperger is indeed like the opposite, so yeah if anything getting people to learn some differences and how it actually works would be better.

It's definitely about needs but some are more or less than the other, so yeah I wish they kept the old terminology at least here.
 
Oh my God my parents are such a pain in the *** to try to teach me things. They both wanna talk over each other as I'm tryin to do somethin and teach me new information while not being clear the old way I was doing it is the old and incorrect way. Then they wanna get mad at me and say 'you need to listen to us and stop gettin sassy' no you need to listen to me when I say you're not being clear with these instructions, the new way I was being told to doing somethin contradicts the old way so yeah of ****in course I'm going to be confused and not do it correctly when they don't CLARIFY 'hey, that old way we were showing you? Yeah turns out it's wrong here's the new correct way to do it' like jfc it's not that hard. Plus, the thing I was using wasn't like the thing I was using before, so since they didn't CLARIFY to do the new way, I was going to do the old way with the other thing cause that's what THEY taught me.

On top of that, they told me to not cross my thumbs cause my hand will get caught (get injured). Meanwhile the entire time I'm doin the old way with the more dangerous thing that I used the first time they were tryin to teach me, MY THUMBS WERE ALWAYS CROSSED and not ONCE did they ever get caught (hand injured). So, the whole time they watched me do the old way, fully knowin at that time that I shouldn't be crossing my thumbs, they never ****in corrected me. Then today they wanna tell me to not cross my thumbs, ***** why didn't you tell me that every single damn time you saw me do it to not do that?? I know they saw me do it, and I swear even one of them said 'it's good that you cross your thumbs cause it gives extra grip'. Tf?

It doesn't help that I swear I have some sort of mental thing (or me being stupid) that makes me think differently from others, so I need very crystal clear blunt instructions and for them to listen to me when I ****in say somethin. My parents get me so mad sometimes and then they wanna account it to me being 'sassy' **** that. I need them to shut up, get there heads out of their butt and actually listen to me with an open mind when I'm explaining or asking a question. I swear it makes sense in my head but the way I think doesn't make sense to others. It doesn't help that I'm not articulate with my words cause sometimes I can't form my thoughts into words and I just need to show people what I'm thinking. But no sum it up to me being 'sassy' when I'm genuinely struggling with somethin cause the information being told to me isn't in a clear precise manner. God damn.
 
I got a bleach spot on one of my favorite shirts, I didn't even put any bleach in my laundry load so idk how it happened 😞
 
Just extra ******* depressed today. Can't wait for it to be the next week already.
 
Put in a spoiler cause I mention an animal being hit by a car.

Someone at work hit a seagull with their truck so it was just sitting on the dockface with a broken wing. I work at a port so it's pretty busy with machinery. I got out of my truck and tried to catch the seagull but the damn thing could still run fast. I told my foreman and he really didn't seem to care. So I insisted something be done or else it will starve to death. He told me the maintence workers (sorta like a janitor) will attempt to help it but no promises. Everyone was cracking jokes that it's just a seagull but no creature wants to die like that. Why is it so hard for people to have compassion towards animals? Or at least don't laugh at it while it runs around in fear.
 
The doctor says she doesn't think the chemo is working for my mom. She's going to try another treatment, but there's only 15% chance it'll work. She gives her a couple of weeks to a month and a half. I'm so scared. I can't lose her. The only thoughts in my head are flashbacks of all the good times we had and I just want to go back. If I could take the pain away from her I would. I don't cry in front of her, but when I'm alone I cry so hard my nose bleeds. I just want my mom. She has to see me be a vet, see me get married, meet her grandbabies. I can't......

Edit: Thank you to everyone for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers. I'm too weak to talk about things right now as I'm just emotionally drained, but please know by my love react that I appreciate everything <3
 
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I’m so sorry. I won’t say I know what you’re going through, but I understand it must be hard. It’s hard not to think negatively in this situation, but it’s best to remain positive. First of all, your mom definitely wouldn’t want you worrying about her. She’d want you to be happy, and remember all of the good times you spent together. Nothing is ever certain in life, so don’t jump to conclusions. There’s still hope for the new treatment, and you can only hope for the best possible outcome. I’m sorry again you’re going through a hard time. Nobody deserves to go through this. I’ll keep your mom in my thoughts. :(
 
I think I hurt my back at work today and now it's freaking sore everytime I move and I still have more heavy lifting to do this week )):
 
The doctor says she doesn't think the chemo is working for my mom. She's going to try another treatment, but there's only 15% chance it'll work. She gives her a couple of weeks to a month and a half. I'm so scared. I can't lose her. The only thoughts in my head are flashbacks of all the good times we had and I just want to go back. If I could take the pain away from her I would. I don't cry in front of her, but when I'm alone I cry so hard my nose bleeds. I just want my mom. She has to see me be a vet, see me get married, meet her grandbabies. I can't......
I am soo sorry to hear this JellyLu. I can't imagine the pain and fear you're feeling. My inbox is always open, okay? Sending love and hugs your way, and hoping she responds well to the new treatment 💜
 
The doctor says she doesn't think the chemo is working for my mom. She's going to try another treatment, but there's only 15% chance it'll work. She gives her a couple of weeks to a month and a half. I'm so scared. I can't lose her. The only thoughts in my head are flashbacks of all the good times we had and I just want to go back. If I could take the pain away from her I would. I don't cry in front of her, but when I'm alone I cry so hard my nose bleeds. I just want my mom. She has to see me be a vet, see me get married, meet her grandbabies. I can't......

oh love, i’m so sorry. i won’t even pretend to know what you’re going through, but my pms are always open if you ever need to talk or vent. i’ll be keeping you, your mom and the rest of your family in my thoughts and prayers. i hope that the new treatment helps her. ❤️
 
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