I think sometimes it's best to remember that only you know what you can handle and what's best for you. I've had to learn to tune out people like that, if all they're gonna do is belittle me then they aren't worth my time.
Yeah I did the same thing where I cut out a lot of toxic people out of my life and when I did that, it made me feel much better, but it still haunts me to this day. Its like a scar that never seems to go away.
lately ive been applying to all sorts of jobs and apprenticeships after realizing i wanted some work experience before i turn 20… i was initially in uni starting october 2020, studying biology, but gosh i felt so aimless, and it was really hard for me to focus. i kept falling asleep during the online lectures. like it was literally relaxing music to my ears idk and i hate that part of me that can’t control the sleepiness.
it’s been an issue for literally 6+ years but my family thought it was me being lazy until maybe 4 years in when the thought occured that it may be mental health related, since the dozens of blood tests turned out normal. but my dad doesn’t believe in mental illnesses.
well, today i had my second job interview this month and i’m going to do like a trial month, which was basically a win to me!!!! and finally some ‘progress’ to show my dad… since the second i graduated highschool the only times he talks to me is when talking about my future. he only says ‘we need to have a talk about your future’ and ‘what are you gonna do with your life’. he doesn’t talk to me aside from that.
but what i know, is i’m happy making an ok salary, as long as i can afford rent and maybe a cockatiel in future…
i told dad about the job, and he just didn’t react and just stared straight at his computer, and asked ‘what kind of job?’ i told him (just like a teashop job) and he just said ‘we need to have a talk about your future’ again. without even looking at me. im trying so hard to stand on my own… i dont think he’ll ever be proud of anything i do
i hope it’s okay i reply to this, but i just wanted to tell you that i’m proud of you. scoring two job interviews is an incredible accomplishment, and the fact that you’re gonna do a trial month with one of them is amazing! working at a tea shop honestly sounds lovely, and i hope it goes well and that you enjoy it!
i am so, so sorry that your dad doesn’t support you. as someone who has her own unsupportive dad who doesn’t believe in mental illness, i know just how badly it hurts and i am so sorry. you deserve better than that. but regardless of what he says or does, you’re doing great. i know we haven’t interacted much, but from what i’ve seen, you’re an incredibly kind and supportive person, and that alone makes you so much better than your dad. i know it’s easier said than done, but do whatever makes you happy, no matter what that may be. you deserve to be happy. i’m proud of you, and i know that your future cockatiel will be proud of you, too. hang in there. <3
My mom had to remind me i had counseling tomorrow and my bad mood just got worse. I hate counseling so much. Today was another day where I had zero energy :/.
bothered by a bunch of things including counseling
Kids were yelling at me for doing things wrong when I was trying my best at practice earlier, gave me a mental breakdown the rest of the night and almost cried like 5 times. On top of that, I hate yelling and break down even more
woke up and my whole body is like really stiff, mostly my legs (cause they still hurt after running for 5 min 3 days ago lol) so I guess I need to do some stretches this morning.
I also don't want to leave my bed cause it's cool outside this morning and my bed is so cozy, but I really should get up. I wish it would stay cold outside so I can start wearing long sleeves and pants without getting too warm
Trying to get all the furniture for my apartment... there's been some hiccups along the way. I also need to bring one of the pieces I'm buying from someone to my house on foot and because it's big and I have to walk for about an hour and I'm really nervous if this is going to work or not....
i hope it’s okay i reply to this, but i just wanted to tell you that i’m proud of you. scoring two job interviews is an incredible accomplishment, and the fact that you’re gonna do a trial month with one of them is amazing! working at a tea shop honestly sounds lovely, and i hope it goes well and that you enjoy it!
i am so, so sorry that your dad doesn’t support you. as someone who has her own unsupportive dad who doesn’t believe in mental illness, i know just how badly it hurts and i am so sorry. you deserve better than that. but regardless of what he says or does, you’re doing great. i know we haven’t interacted much, but from what i’ve seen, you’re an incredibly kind and supportive person, and that alone makes you so much better than your dad. i know it’s easier said than done, but do whatever makes you happy, no matter what that may be. you deserve to be happy. i’m proud of you, and i know that your future cockatiel will be proud of you, too. hang in there. <3
ugh, i’m really sorry you have to deal with a dad like that too xara, it’s not fun at all t-t why do some parents have to be like that smh. emotionless fathers aside this helped me feel alot better, thank you so much
I've been feeling hot and cold all afternoon and I really hope it's nothing more than me being tired from a long week of work. However my mum has had a terrible cough all week (thankfully it's not COVID related) which could mean I've caught whatever bug she has instead. Fun times.
one of my best friends cut off our entire friend group and we've all been so close for 3 years. he disappeared for no reason and he was threatening to physically fight one of us and called us all horrible things for literally no reason. Apparently I'm a toxic ***** that he doesnt give half a **** about? i dont know whats going on but I was literally doing sm better because of my friends were the only ones keeping me happy and i feel myself starting to decline again. im losing all of my friends who i've been close with for so many years all of a sudden and im too socially awkward to make new ones and no one else gets that. At this rate i'll have no one left in about a year ahaha..
Aww, I'm sorry to hear that. just try to remember, even though you don't know what the reason is, there is a reason that job wasn't a good fit. Because the one that is a good fit will be so much better and will find its way to you when the time is right! keep your chin up! I know it's easier said than done sometimes.
I did something today that was really big for me. It impacted my life a lot, and I finally got the courage to do it. Because of that, many people are mad at me and I don’t even know why. They’re saying that I’ve made the wrong decision, but they don’t know everything going on behind the scene. I’m in so much pain right now. I just want to be happy.
I’m sorry to all those I’ve upset, even though you don’t even know what the problem is.
One of my spiral-ring sketchbooks is busted (the kind with the spiral ring at the top) and I don't know how it happened—I've always been gentle with it and it's on a shelf when not in use—but it can't even close properly anymore. ;-; The real shame is that over half of the pages are still left, and I'm not sure what to do with them. Maybe I'll just tear them out, put them in a file or something, and use them as loose paper...? I'd hate to waste that much, and they're definitely not usable in the book itself.
I did something today that was really big for me. It impacted my life a lot, and I finally got the courage to do it. Because of that, many people are mad at me and I don’t even know why. They’re saying that I’ve made the wrong decision, but they don’t know everything going on behind the scene. I’m in so much pain right now. I just want to be happy.
I’m sorry to all those I’ve upset, even though you don’t even know what the problem is.
When people don't have all the facts and circumstances, it's normal for them to make assumptions that most of the time are wrong. Since I don't have them either, I cannot know who in this situation would be right and who wouldn't... but I can tell you this one thing: you have the right to look for your own happiness, and if there's within your reach, definitely seize it! Whatever happened, if it makes you happy, the others will have to deal with it if they don't approve. Because you deserve to be happy!
and i hate that part of me that can’t control the sleepiness.
just try to remember, even though you don't know what the reason is, there is a reason that job wasn't a good fit. Because the one that is a good fit will be so much better and will find its way to you when the time is right! 
keep your chin up! I know it's easier said than done sometimes.
Whatever happened, if it makes you happy, the others will have to deal with it if they don't approve. Because you deserve to be happy!
