What's Bothering You?

Alienfish said:
People pulling colonial/blm cards on social media just because they can. You don't have to be a super royalist but honestly let's show Elizabeth II and her family some respect especially today.

She definitely deserves some respect and I also grew up with her even though I'm from Sweden and not the UK/Commonwealth. So yeah unless you're some ghost of future past from 1925 just keep your fingers off the keyboard.
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if you want to show her some respect, that's fine and dandy, but i think people from colonized countries have every right to be annoyed and not want to show her some respect. i'm from the uk; i've grown up with the royal family. i still remember being excited for kate and william's wedding when i was 12, but then i grew up and realized that family is more rotten than royal. colonialism, diana, andrew, the sheer racism around meghan that was only perpetuated by our tabloids and mouthpieces like piers morgan. it goes on. with all due respect, you said yourself that you're from sweden, not the uk. you don't see the majority of our press, and you're not watching or going to be affected by our economy collapsing further because we shilled out for her drawn out funeral and charles's coronation when a lot of people won't even be able to afford heating this winter because energy prices are being hiked up.
 
My dad and my brother have been treating me like **** recently. Every time I cry about it I feel like such a baby, but then again they're also part of the reason why I dread going home so much... (Of course, this is a general problem that I've been facing for a while, but now I really don't wanna be here in my own house because of them.)

At least my step-mom's being nice with me.
 
daringred_ said:
asking them to simply "not do it around x" isn't necessarily reasonable, because if it's actual age regression, it's not typically a conscious decision and therefore not purposeful. instead, it would be better to either see a therapist, as you suggested, or for the two of them to discuss what to do when they age regress. for example, if they sense that they need to/are about to regress, maybe they could confine themselves to a room (in the case where the two are living together) if they're comfortable with that. i also enter little space sometimes (nothing sexual about it, heaven forbid), and i don't typically actively decide i'm going to be little, but i'm well aware that i'm actually 23, and i could easily act my own age if someone was uncomfortable with it. for others, that's definitely not the case, because they regress to actually mentally being x age. i'm not completely clear on the terminology and stuff, even after some research, but age regression is typically used when the person mentally becomes x age, whereas age play is where you act/enjoy being x age but know you aren't really. (which is what i am, but i don't care for the term "age play" because there's nothing playful about it; it's very much a coping mechanism for stress/anxiety for me.)
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i talked to him about it for a bit. I told him that nothing about it bothers me except the actual regression itself. and I still feel like a horrible person for saying that but he has told me in the past that he does not want me to be uncomfortable and he wants me to be honest. he eventually said that he would stop, idk if he genuinely meant it or if it he said it simply to shut me up (prob the latter). I told him that we can still do kid stuff like playing at the park, coloring, watching cartoons, playing with toys/stuffed animals (heck I do that stuff anyways), but I think it's understandable that I would want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't occasionally become a 4 year old. I don't have anything against people who use little space as a coping mechanism, I just don't really think it's appropriate in an adult relationship. I don't know. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it and no matter which angle I approach it from I just can't think abt it without being anxious. I feel like a ****head and almost like I don't deserve him honestly. if he wanted to leave me over something like this I wouldn't blame him.


my anxiety has been god awful all day today. I kinda wish I could just go to sleep now, although sleeping last night didn't help at all so idk if it will help tonight either. I think I'll just binge watch some funny yt videos and keep using my vape, and maybe work on my fox tail some more. hopefully I can actually get myself to relax for once.
 
xSuperMario64x said:
i talked to him about it for a bit. I told him that nothing about it bothers me except the actual regression itself. and I still feel like a horrible person for saying that but he has told me in the past that he does not want me to be uncomfortable and he wants me to be honest. he eventually said that he would stop, idk if he genuinely meant it or if it he said it simply to shut me up (prob the latter). I told him that we can still do kid stuff like playing at the park, coloring, watching cartoons, playing with toys/stuffed animals (heck I do that stuff anyways), but I think it's understandable that I would want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't occasionally become a 4 year old. I don't have anything against people who use little space as a coping mechanism, I just don't really think it's appropriate in an adult relationship. I don't know. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it and no matter which angle I approach it from I just can't think abt it without being anxious. I feel like a ****head and almost like I don't deserve him honestly. if he wanted to leave me over something like this I wouldn't blame him.


my anxiety has been god awful all day today. I kinda wish I could just go to sleep now, although sleeping last night didn't help at all so idk if it will help tonight either. I think I'll just binge watch some funny yt videos and keep using my vape, and maybe work on my fox tail some more. hopefully I can actually get myself to relax for once.
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if it's a case of him actually mentally regressing to the age of a toddler, and genuinely thinking he is one while in little space, i could understand not wanting that in your relationship. (but i can also understand the reverse; where, during those occasions, you're not their s/o so much as you're their caregiver.) i can't speak for his experience, but in my case it's that pretending/wanting to be a younger age (more 7/8 than toddler, for me) helps me relax or calm down because it's almost like switching off the responsibilities and stressors that i have as an adult. (especially since i have anxiety, and my autism makes me even more prone to it + stress.). i just like being babied a bit because it makes me feel safe, and i generally don't talk any differently, just a lot less. if it's a totally conscious choice for him like it is me, i would try not to worry about it being inappropriate. he wouldn't mentally be that age, and he would know his actual age. it isn't really any different from pretending you're a cowboy or something in that case, y'know. the baby talk might be a bit much for you, but, again, if he's consciously pretending the whole time, that should be an aspect of his regression that he can tone down or eliminate for your comfort.
 
So many things are stressing me out at work :( I'm waiting to hear back from two people who are a really critical path to a project and I want to know if it's going to go ahead or not. I hate waiting, it's making me stressed lol. My boss makes me stressed since it's almost like he expects everything to be perfect, and when it isn't he gets pissed off with me. Plus, I'm sick at the moment and don't feel well enough to think straight. Ahhhhhh
 
I ranted on a Discord vent channel, so I’ll just copy paste what I wrote to speed it up:

“For the several months I’ve known one of my college friends we’ve only texted. Every time I ask them if they want to do something or bring up a subject they’re not interested in they ghost me instead of just saying no. A few weeks ago they brought up going to an event together. On top of that they’ve started reaching out on their own more. Despite being pleasantly surprised, I ended up backing out because I had no transportation. Since it felt like they were finally opening up a bit, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask if they wanted to add me on Steam and play a game sometime. I got ghosted for four days. Then they made a weird tweet about wanting to scoop their brains out. They only replied because I sent a message about something else.

I genuinely like being friends with this person and they’re one of the only people from college I know. It’s just I feel like I can’t even hold a meaningful conversation with them or make progress in the friendship unless it’s under their terms."
 
I really wish they'd make this greek-style soy-yogurt in a larger size jar/package etc. 400g is kinda small even if you only take a little each time. :(
 
I just deleted that post explaining exactly what happened between us but… my partner really upset me this time. It’s crossing a line. I’ve honestly not really been upset (in an angry sense) at them like this until now. Those were more annoyances. I said, outright to them, I’d never been that upset at them.

After our very stupid disagreement (over a very stupid video game) and venting here… I told them how I felt.
They said they weren’t even really upset… they just wanted to not get hung up on it and move to a different topic. But, they literally said, “I can’t even say anything good about my favorite video game”. Not paraphrasing. Which sounds like them beating themselves up. Talking that way over it knowing that I’m tired of picking them up feels insensitive. Could have just said agree to disagree.
I make it a point to say sorry if I think I made a mistake, and I did apologise even over this disagreement.
After I said I’d never been so upset… My partner didn’t even apologise to me. They said nothing. They literally said nothing.

This relationship isn’t fair to me. It really might be over now, and I’d considered the possibility for several weeks now. I’m saying that here before I’m telling my partner, which isn’t a good omen for the relationship.

This kind of thing happens but… it feels like we have totally different languages. If it were going to last it’d last through me sharing those feelings. There have been so many problems. And this is long-distance which has its own problems. I’m so tired.
I feel like I’ve tried picking things up every single time we reach a dip and I’ve said as much. My partner always says they just don’t know what to do and it shows. I know they try but they don’t communicate much of anything or intellectually stimulate me and they never pick me up when I need it. The one relationship where I feel like I get the bare minimum of an honest soul- I can’t take it anymore. I’ve been trying everything I can to give them some “mental training wheels” to become more emotionally mature and learn more and not just to serve me. I care about my partner but it feels like we should be friends instead. There are a lot of ways they haven’t really been able to satisfy me. I can’t make them change. I can’t guide them for every little thing pr I’m going to be back in the guide role unable to let it go and relax with my partner. Again. There’s a clear disconnect in how we unwind. If I can’t mutually share certain things in a relationship I’m not going to be happy there in the end… The one honest relationship I’ve had.

Hell, I’ve even done the very very best I can to make myself happy and it feels like they don’t even share that with me. A few weeks ago, I said something to the effect that I hadn’t been so happy in years, in our little group. They were sad that day and had nothing to say about it to me, even seeing me happy doesn’t seem to help. We don’t even share our feelings really anymore.

October is coming up. I’m going to be telling them just before October, or stomaching it until just after October. And that makes me a little sad… October is the best. I really wanted to make Halloween special. Realistically, this is a chore and I’d rather not have the stress of this hanging over me in my favorite month. So… I’d rather tell them sooner that this relationship has been slowly killing me.
 
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xSuperMario64x said:
i talked to him about it for a bit. I told him that nothing about it bothers me except the actual regression itself. and I still feel like a horrible person for saying that but he has told me in the past that he does not want me to be uncomfortable and he wants me to be honest. he eventually said that he would stop, idk if he genuinely meant it or if it he said it simply to shut me up (prob the latter). I told him that we can still do kid stuff like playing at the park, coloring, watching cartoons, playing with toys/stuffed animals (heck I do that stuff anyways), but I think it's understandable that I would want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't occasionally become a 4 year old. I don't have anything against people who use little space as a coping mechanism, I just don't really think it's appropriate in an adult relationship. I don't know. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it and no matter which angle I approach it from I just can't think abt it without being anxious. I feel like a ****head and almost like I don't deserve him honestly. if he wanted to leave me over something like this I wouldn't blame him.
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I think you have perfectly fine thoughts about it and you're definitely not alone. I also probably do kid/cute things, but yeah if someone would be like that I would have to be honest with them no matter what. Communication is key, and you should feel good for open up about it, I think a lot of partners and friends fail with this cause, yeah anxiety feeling or afraid to hurt, and they'd just explode it on their partner/friend instead.

You should definitely not feel bad about it, you were honest and if he does improve that's great but if not unless offering help would help and he wants it there is nothing much one can do. I can relate to this not wanting to lose an important person in one's life, but I think eventually we have to come down to things even if it's very hard to do.

I'll end it here to not go on too long rants, but if you want to talk you can hit me on Discord or in PMs here and I'll remember to check. I hope it works out for the best and you both don't feel too bad, it's definitely a vulnerable see-saw here.
 
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