• Guest, you're invited to help build our new TBT time capsule! It contains three parts, with some of its elements planned to open in 2029 and others not until the distant future of 2034. Get started in 2024 Community Time Capsule: Blueprints.

What's Bothering You?

been really anxious these last couple days. tuesday marks a year since my grandmother passed away, so this week is gonna be rough. i’m not looking forward to that. i’m terrified of it, actually. i’m terrified of how it’s gonna affect my mom and the breakdowns she’s probably gonna have and everything she may or may not do. she’s unstable, and i’m scared. i’m always scared. i’m terrified that it’s this time of year again.

i’m terrified that it’s gonna happen again. i’ve lost 4 loved ones within the last year, and i’m terrified that it’s gonna repeat itself and i’m gonna lose even more. i’m terrified of my cat dying, my friends, my parents. i’m terrified of this upcoming week. i’m terrified of the 6 weeks between when my grandmother died and when my childhood cat, my absolute best friend, safe space and sometimes my only reason to live, died. i’m terrified of oct 28th and 29th because those were her last good days. i’m terrified of halloween because that was the last full day i had with her. i’m terrified of her death anniversary, of the days and weeks and months that follow that. 4 deaths and so much bad news in such a short amount of time (10 months) has literally traumatized me i think, and i hate it. i don’t want to be like this.

i’ve had such a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach these last couple days and it’s making me paranoid. and i want it to just be paranoia and unease about these upcoming weeks. but i’m terrified that it’s premonitory and that more awful things are going to happen. i know that sounds stupid and silly, but literally every time i wake up in the middle of the night, have a panic attack, have an uneasy feeling etc for seemingly no reason, i get terrified because these things happened the days leading up to/the days of my losses, so now i think they’re signs something bad is going to happen. 🤠 i just want to feel peace again lol.

sept 19th 2021 was my last day of normalcy, and i hate that. i hate that i didn’t appreciate it more. i wish that i had known, so that i didn’t spend the whole day doing schoolwork. i would’ve spent it with my cat. i would’ve even spent it with my grandmother.

i just wanna go back. i miss who i was a year ago.
 
Last edited:
I feel really bad bc my SO does little space and it really doesn't bother me, except for the baby talk and the fact that he regresses and starts thinking like a two year old. like idk something about that just really doesn't sit right with me. but I feel like **** for feeling that way bc I know he does it to cope with stress and anxiety. so I dont want to tell him to stop but at the same time if we live together and he starts talking like a 2 year old it's gonna make my anxiety/stress really bad (bc not only am i just bothered by any baby talk in general, but I dont like the idea of simultaneously dating someone i truly love and that same person occasionally, and sometimes randomly, having the mind of a child). maybe im being ignorant or smthing, but it really truly does bother me and it makes me anxious abt our future together. idfk what to do lol.
 
xSuperMario64x said:
I feel really bad bc my SO does little space and it really doesn't bother me, except for the baby talk and the fact that he regresses and starts thinking like a two year old. like idk something about that just really doesn't sit right with me. but I feel like **** for feeling that way bc I know he does it to cope with stress and anxiety. so I dont want to tell him to stop but at the same time if we live together and he starts talking like a 2 year old it's gonna make my anxiety/stress really bad (bc not only am i just bothered by any baby talk in general, but I dont like the idea of simultaneously dating someone i truly love and that same person occasionally, and sometimes randomly, having the mind of a child). maybe im being ignorant or smthing, but it really truly does bother me and it makes me anxious abt our future together. idfk what to do lol.
Click to expand...
That's really a tough one, dang. As someone who gets bad feels when someone uses that for any reason not talking to/being around a baby I feel extremely uncomfortable too.

I don't know if you could ask/talk to him and say something along the lines of "I understand you use that as a coping method, but could you please not do it around me because I feel uncomfortable". I think it's important to hear both sides and find a solution, especially if it's about your future. I mean we all have things that makes each other uncomfortable and yeah honesty is the most important thing here. If he/you feels it's becoming too much, maybe try seeing a professional/therapist together in some way to make it work for both of you? If money here is the issue as well it might be a problem as well, but yeah I really hope you guys make it work! :)
-

For my own bothers, stores just hopping on the bandwagon and inflating everything cause they can even if their wares ain't affected.
 
Alienfish said:
That's really a tough one, dang. As someone who gets bad feels when someone uses that for any reason not talking to/being around a baby I feel extremely uncomfortable too.

I don't know if you could ask/talk to him and say something along the lines of "I understand you use that as a coping method, but could you please not do it around me because I feel uncomfortable". I think it's important to hear both sides and find a solution, especially if it's about your future. I mean we all have things that makes each other uncomfortable and yeah honesty is the most important thing here. If he/you feels it's becoming too much, maybe try seeing a professional/therapist together in some way to make it work for both of you? If money here is the issue as well it might be a problem as well, but yeah I really hope you guys make it work! :)
-

For my own bothers, stores just hopping on the bandwagon and inflating everything cause they can even if their wares ain't affected.
Click to expand...

asking them to simply "not do it around x" isn't necessarily reasonable, because if it's actual age regression, it's not typically a conscious decision and therefore not purposeful. instead, it would be better to either see a therapist, as you suggested, or for the two of them to discuss what to do when they age regress. for example, if they sense that they need to/are about to regress, maybe they could confine themselves to a room (in the case where the two are living together) if they're comfortable with that. i also enter little space sometimes (nothing sexual about it, heaven forbid), and i don't typically actively decide i'm going to be little, but i'm well aware that i'm actually 23, and i could easily act my own age if someone was uncomfortable with it. for others, that's definitely not the case, because they regress to actually mentally being x age. i'm not completely clear on the terminology and stuff, even after some research, but age regression is typically used when the person mentally becomes x age, whereas age play is where you act/enjoy being x age but know you aren't really. (which is what i am, but i don't care for the term "age play" because there's nothing playful about it; it's very much a coping mechanism for stress/anxiety for me.)
 
I’m just bored of everything. How do you make things exciting? I’d like to think I could get my friends involved and have more fun with things that way, but there’s stuff I want to do physically and I can’t with them, and they don’t engage with things the same way I do. I feel like I watch them engage with things in a totally alien way and they don’t care about some of the things I absolutely love because it’s my vibe not theirs (not that they’re being mean, it’s just a disconnect, the same way I’m not that interested in gaming or anime). Honestly, I miss how I felt when I was falling in love. I’m not in love with my partner anymore. I always have to be the one taking lead and control because they don’t know what to do and just wallow in their confidence issues, I’ve been trying to lead them and give tips for months, I’m exhausted. Even my partner doesn’t get that involved with my interests.
 
People pulling colonial/blm cards on social media just because they can. You don't have to be a super royalist but honestly let's show Elizabeth II and her family some respect especially today.

She definitely deserves some respect and I also grew up with her even though I'm from Sweden and not the UK/Commonwealth. So yeah unless you're some ghost of future past from 1925 just keep your fingers off the keyboard.
 
Alienfish said:
People pulling colonial/blm cards on social media just because they can. You don't have to be a super royalist but honestly let's show Elizabeth II and her family some respect especially today.

She definitely deserves some respect and I also grew up with her even though I'm from Sweden and not the UK/Commonwealth. So yeah unless you're some ghost of future past from 1925 just keep your fingers off the keyboard.
Click to expand...
if you want to show her some respect, that's fine and dandy, but i think people from colonized countries have every right to be annoyed and not want to show her some respect. i'm from the uk; i've grown up with the royal family. i still remember being excited for kate and william's wedding when i was 12, but then i grew up and realized that family is more rotten than royal. colonialism, diana, andrew, the sheer racism around meghan that was only perpetuated by our tabloids and mouthpieces like piers morgan. it goes on. with all due respect, you said yourself that you're from sweden, not the uk. you don't see the majority of our press, and you're not watching or going to be affected by our economy collapsing further because we shilled out for her drawn out funeral and charles's coronation when a lot of people won't even be able to afford heating this winter because energy prices are being hiked up.
 
My dad and my brother have been treating me like **** recently. Every time I cry about it I feel like such a baby, but then again they're also part of the reason why I dread going home so much... (Of course, this is a general problem that I've been facing for a while, but now I really don't wanna be here in my own house because of them.)

At least my step-mom's being nice with me.
 
daringred_ said:
asking them to simply "not do it around x" isn't necessarily reasonable, because if it's actual age regression, it's not typically a conscious decision and therefore not purposeful. instead, it would be better to either see a therapist, as you suggested, or for the two of them to discuss what to do when they age regress. for example, if they sense that they need to/are about to regress, maybe they could confine themselves to a room (in the case where the two are living together) if they're comfortable with that. i also enter little space sometimes (nothing sexual about it, heaven forbid), and i don't typically actively decide i'm going to be little, but i'm well aware that i'm actually 23, and i could easily act my own age if someone was uncomfortable with it. for others, that's definitely not the case, because they regress to actually mentally being x age. i'm not completely clear on the terminology and stuff, even after some research, but age regression is typically used when the person mentally becomes x age, whereas age play is where you act/enjoy being x age but know you aren't really. (which is what i am, but i don't care for the term "age play" because there's nothing playful about it; it's very much a coping mechanism for stress/anxiety for me.)
Click to expand...
i talked to him about it for a bit. I told him that nothing about it bothers me except the actual regression itself. and I still feel like a horrible person for saying that but he has told me in the past that he does not want me to be uncomfortable and he wants me to be honest. he eventually said that he would stop, idk if he genuinely meant it or if it he said it simply to shut me up (prob the latter). I told him that we can still do kid stuff like playing at the park, coloring, watching cartoons, playing with toys/stuffed animals (heck I do that stuff anyways), but I think it's understandable that I would want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't occasionally become a 4 year old. I don't have anything against people who use little space as a coping mechanism, I just don't really think it's appropriate in an adult relationship. I don't know. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it and no matter which angle I approach it from I just can't think abt it without being anxious. I feel like a ****head and almost like I don't deserve him honestly. if he wanted to leave me over something like this I wouldn't blame him.


my anxiety has been god awful all day today. I kinda wish I could just go to sleep now, although sleeping last night didn't help at all so idk if it will help tonight either. I think I'll just binge watch some funny yt videos and keep using my vape, and maybe work on my fox tail some more. hopefully I can actually get myself to relax for once.
 
xSuperMario64x said:
i talked to him about it for a bit. I told him that nothing about it bothers me except the actual regression itself. and I still feel like a horrible person for saying that but he has told me in the past that he does not want me to be uncomfortable and he wants me to be honest. he eventually said that he would stop, idk if he genuinely meant it or if it he said it simply to shut me up (prob the latter). I told him that we can still do kid stuff like playing at the park, coloring, watching cartoons, playing with toys/stuffed animals (heck I do that stuff anyways), but I think it's understandable that I would want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't occasionally become a 4 year old. I don't have anything against people who use little space as a coping mechanism, I just don't really think it's appropriate in an adult relationship. I don't know. I'm having a lot of mixed feelings about it and no matter which angle I approach it from I just can't think abt it without being anxious. I feel like a ****head and almost like I don't deserve him honestly. if he wanted to leave me over something like this I wouldn't blame him.


my anxiety has been god awful all day today. I kinda wish I could just go to sleep now, although sleeping last night didn't help at all so idk if it will help tonight either. I think I'll just binge watch some funny yt videos and keep using my vape, and maybe work on my fox tail some more. hopefully I can actually get myself to relax for once.
Click to expand...
if it's a case of him actually mentally regressing to the age of a toddler, and genuinely thinking he is one while in little space, i could understand not wanting that in your relationship. (but i can also understand the reverse; where, during those occasions, you're not their s/o so much as you're their caregiver.) i can't speak for his experience, but in my case it's that pretending/wanting to be a younger age (more 7/8 than toddler, for me) helps me relax or calm down because it's almost like switching off the responsibilities and stressors that i have as an adult. (especially since i have anxiety, and my autism makes me even more prone to it + stress.). i just like being babied a bit because it makes me feel safe, and i generally don't talk any differently, just a lot less. if it's a totally conscious choice for him like it is me, i would try not to worry about it being inappropriate. he wouldn't mentally be that age, and he would know his actual age. it isn't really any different from pretending you're a cowboy or something in that case, y'know. the baby talk might be a bit much for you, but, again, if he's consciously pretending the whole time, that should be an aspect of his regression that he can tone down or eliminate for your comfort.
 
So many things are stressing me out at work :( I'm waiting to hear back from two people who are a really critical path to a project and I want to know if it's going to go ahead or not. I hate waiting, it's making me stressed lol. My boss makes me stressed since it's almost like he expects everything to be perfect, and when it isn't he gets pissed off with me. Plus, I'm sick at the moment and don't feel well enough to think straight. Ahhhhhh
 
sept 19th 2021 was my last day of normalcy. i spent the entire day doing schoolwork, so terrified of what was supposed to be my first day of classes the next day. i cuddled with my cat. my dad made lasagna for dinner, which would turn out to be my grandmother’s last meal. i made an ugly self-portrait, and birthday art for a friend. i thought i knew what the next day, the next week, the rest of my life would look like. i didn’t. this time last year, things would go to **** in just 7 hours and i had no idea. i hate it. i was a different person only a year ago.

tomorrow (the 20th) marks a year since my grandmother died, and i can’t comprehend it. it feels like it’s only been a day, but 20 years, all at the same time. in 6 weeks, it’ll be a year since my best friend died. 10 days after that, the 1st year anniversary of us bringing 2 kittens home who are also no longer here. i miss them all so much. i miss myself. idk if i’ll ever be me again, or if life will ever matter again. grief sucks lol.
 
I ranted on a Discord vent channel, so I’ll just copy paste what I wrote to speed it up:

“For the several months I’ve known one of my college friends we’ve only texted. Every time I ask them if they want to do something or bring up a subject they’re not interested in they ghost me instead of just saying no. A few weeks ago they brought up going to an event together. On top of that they’ve started reaching out on their own more. Despite being pleasantly surprised, I ended up backing out because I had no transportation. Since it felt like they were finally opening up a bit, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask if they wanted to add me on Steam and play a game sometime. I got ghosted for four days. Then they made a weird tweet about wanting to scoop their brains out. They only replied because I sent a message about something else.

I genuinely like being friends with this person and they’re one of the only people from college I know. It’s just I feel like I can’t even hold a meaningful conversation with them or make progress in the friendship unless it’s under their terms."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Chronos314_XD
Do You Enjoy the Holidays?
2
Replies
38
Views
679
Neb
Neb
Suguri
How do you maintain a schedule?
Replies
11
Views
229
Corrie
Corrie
Chronos314_XD
Web Series Thread
Replies
6
Views
377
axaniao
axaniao
Alolan_Apples
Worst Fanfiction you ever read?
2
Replies
22
Views
553
aericell
aericell
Airysuit
  • Poll
What kind of breakfast do you eat?
2 3 4
Replies
66
Views
715
lasagne_of_death
lasagne_of_death
Back
Top