What's Bothering You?

[VanitasFan26]

Sometimes when people ask me "Are you okay?" sometimes I just don't know how to respond. Part of me wants to feel like "sure everything is okay" but then I keep lying to my stuff when its not okay, but then its like I don't want the other person to try and fix my problem or try to mess with their day. Its hard as both an autistic and introvert to even socialize with people in real life and sorta online. I know people in past told me "fix your face" but then it just made me bottle up my emotions so I try to act like everything is fine when its not really fine, but you just don't know how to express it because they won't get it. Its such a painful feeling that I hate feeling all the time.

 

[Dunquixote]

stupid fruit fly kept landing on my drawing, which was by this flashlight I’m using since not enough light in here. also gross . I hate bugs so much.

dreading friday…

So close to being done with my drawing but I still have cut ins to color (if I decide to), maybe add more background and also this corner of the page and by one character’s leg. I’m stumped still on this but I did finish center part of my drawing and background.

 

[moo_nieu]

was curious about laws surrounding having to drive to work during dangerous conditions only to find out that for most people, your employer has to agree that it is too dangerous to drive or you can be legally fired. thats ridiculous to me. the boss could just stay home sipping tea and send you in to delivery drive all day through a tropical storm? what???

how is this legal. im not a delivery driver and its not too dangerous for me to drive today, but jeez it really strips you of your humanity imo. i cant believe that national weather warnings or something dont qualify.. like if there was an active tornado out... boss could just say nah go in or your fired??? thats too much power over someones life and safety i think d:

 

[Alienfish]

that new collection was nice but i really dislike baby/pale/pastel blue colours on myself. oh well saves me money i guess

 

[LittleMissPanda]

I almost never come vent here because I don't like talking about my insecurities/feelings, but God almighty I hate making mistakes. Whether it's at home, at work and just in general I really hate making mistakes.

I hate that I'm so hasty and easily agitated. People stress me out, work stresses me out. It feels like everything is always up to me.... I feel like I fail everyone. All these long shifts, I'm sick of it... Even at home I sometimes find no solace, no comfort....

I always want everything to be perfect. I just really hate making mistakes. I'm so overwhelmed that sometimes I just want to break down and cry....

 

[-Lumi-]

I would like to just. Not live in Ontario anymore thanks

 

[Princess Mipha]

Fiancé and I drove back from Restaurant to the camping we are currently at.. many birds on the road, fiancé breaks and every bird flies away, except one.. he for some reason turned around instead of flying straight and got hit by our car. Couldn't do anything to avoid it.. man I feel bad about it. I've never seen a animal getting hit by a car. At least it was dead right away.

 

[Foreverfox]

Fiancé and I drove back from Restaurant to the camping we are currently at.. many birds on the road, fiancé breaks and every bird flies away, except one.. he for some reason turned around instead of flying straight and got hit by our car. Couldn't do anything to avoid it.. man I feel bad about it. I've never seen a animal getting hit by a car. At least it was dead right away.

I've done that before and bawled my eyes out for like the next hour after. It is so hard to see innocent animals suffer in any way. Hugs, friend!

 

[TheSillyPuppy]

I would like to just. Not live in Ontario anymore thanks

I relate to this so, so much.

It's a hard topic to talk about with anyone because to them, it comes across as me being ungrateful. Are people just supposed to take life as they know it and not seek improvement for themselves and others? Honestly, I wish capitalism as we know it today just ceased to exist, but I know that will never happen because then how could the 1% continue to exploit the rest of humanity?

 

[Foreverfox]

I almost never come vent here because I don't like talking about my insecurities/feelings, but God almighty I hate making mistakes. Whether it's at home, at work and just in general I really hate making mistakes.

I hate that I'm so hasty and easily agitated. People stress me out, work stresses me out. It feels like everything is always up to me.... I feel like I fail everyone. All these long shifts, I'm sick of it... Even at home I sometimes find no solace, no comfort....

I always want everything to be perfect. I just really hate making mistakes. I'm so overwhelmed that sometimes I just want to break down and cry....

I feel you so hard on this, Panda! I hate making mistakes too, and it's easy to *say* okay, I made a mistake, now how to I fix it or how do I go a new direction, but it is hard to actually put yourself in that frame of mind when you're still internalizing a mistake. I'm guilty of that all the time! I'm also a perfectionist, so I hate mistakes more than a lot of people who can just roll with it.

I hope you can find some time to tune into your beautiful art and music and find that much needed solace, dear friend! ❤

 

[LittleMissPanda]

I feel you so hard on this, Panda! I hate making mistakes too, and it's easy to *say* okay, I made a mistake, now how to I fix it or how do I go a new direction, but it is hard to actually put yourself in that frame of mind when you're still internalizing a mistake. I'm guilty of that all the time! I'm also a perfectionist, so I hate mistakes more than a lot of people who can just roll with it.

I hope you can find some time to tune into your beautiful art and music and find that much needed solace, dear friend! ❤

It's really not easy for me to just, you know, not brood over things. I do get stuck on that first mistake and end up becoming out of sorts. Like, I get lost about what other tasks are in front of me and just lose all focus. Being a perfectionist is the absolute worst (why can't real life be easy like video games haha) it's nice that someone could understand my frustrations.

Thank you so much for the kind, caring words, my lovely fox I really do want some free time to get into some drawing and music, and just escape the world for a while. I'm off work tomorrow, yeah, but got errands to do.... Bummer

 

[xSuperMario64x]

having l o t s of dysphoria lately cause I give people two different pronouns which they can use with me and yet they consistently use the wrong one

Spoiler: tw, kinda violent

also really ****ing hate my chest, wish I could just tear it off

 

[Dawnpiplup]

The dude?

Lmao, yeah -- if you mean the person that I know of in real life that looks like El Duderino. It's better now. Just my own insecurities tbh.

 

[oak]

My car goes in for it's tune up today and going to the mechanic makes me so nervous lmao. Probably cause I know nothing about cars. Let's hope it's not too expensive.

 

[Dunquixote]

my mom came in to ask an awkward question because she needed to fill something out for doctor (probably the one i am seeing on friday and dreading). I do not want to go out there and talk to her now even though it has been hours need to really work on my room but i am afraid of not finding that missing piece my mom lost


Edit: couldn’t avoid talking to her but at least she hasn’t brought it up yet

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I'm pretty bored here at my uncles' house, but oddly enough I would rather be bored and here than be entertained and at home. I love the family vibes here. funny that two married gay men have such a caring and friendly home, compared to my straight married parents who couldn't be unhappier with each other.

also only 3pm but I'm ready for dinner lol rip. maybe I should take a nap

 

[Dunquixote]

My mom keeps saying rather than get upset, let me order you another one. But, i wouldn’t be upset if you haven’t lost it in the first place and damaged one i got at a convention TWICE!

A little depressed today.

 

[Dunquixote]

nevermind.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Spoiler: rip

tempted to ask my uncle if i can have a one-hitter or something, I wasn't really fond of feeling intoxicated but it actually did help me relax and I fell asleep really easily that night. I hate spending my days and nights on edge while I watch them smoke to mellow out and relax. just makes me wish I was on an anti-depressant that actually works, or something idk I just hate feeling upset and on-edge nonstop

 

[Psydye]

Spoiler: rip

tempted to ask my uncle if i can have a one-hitter or something, I wasn't really fond of feeling intoxicated but it actually did help me relax and I fell asleep really easily that night. I hate spending my days and nights on edge while I watch them smoke to mellow out and relax. just makes me wish I was on an anti-depressant that actually works, or something idk I just hate feeling upset and on-edge nonstop

That was me for years after a bad mescaline experience. The amount of mental hospital visits over the past decade has been ridiculous. I'm still not %100 okay but I'm FAAARR better now than I ever was in the past 10 years. Probably helps that I'm on Abilify for depression.