Autism/ADHD Support Thread 🌈

[xSuperMario64x]

I don't know @xSuperMario64x I don't want to assume, but it does sound like a form of depression. If you're talking about it being harder to get out of bed when you used to have a set sleep schedule/pattern. Or that you just sleep a lot longer than you normally do. I had seasonal depression pretty bad last winter. I normally never experience it, but it hit me hard.

There was a lot going on with my life, plus the pandemic where I live still being peak levels and the lockdown still being somewhat in affect meant it was either work or be trapped at home. I was also helping being the caretaker of someone who could not take care of themselves anymore and it felt like a lot of family abandoned this on to me. So this feeling of being trapped, burdened, and alone really put a strain on me and a lot of things I liked to get into was hard to find the motivation if not impossible because if I was not at work I was being a caretaker. So it was hard and it screwed up my sleep schedule to.

I don't know, I figured I'd just share that. I could be way off, but that was the case for my sleep schedule being out of whack.

I could've possibly attributed it to depression a few months ago, but back in late Feb I started taking a higher dose of fluoxetine and I haven't really had any symptoms of depression since then. back then I was tired every single day like @/Dunquixote was describing, now it's just for a few days after I do something that wears me out.

I guess it's like, when you've been working all day and you come home and you're super tired, except for me that feeling lasts about 2-3 days.

 

[-Blue-]

@xSuperMario64x I got it, I just figured I would share my little bit just in the off chance. Honestly without knowing your health and the such, it's hard to make a good assessment as to what it might be. Like I know that lack of protein/protein deficiency can cause sleep issues and the such, but I don't want to tell you that is what it is, because I honestly don't know.

If it's something that is really affecting your daily life negatively and you are certain it isn't depression maybe get a check up and talk to a physician about it?

 

[xSuperMario64x]

If it's something that is really affecting your daily life negatively and you are certain it isn't depression maybe get a check up and talk to a physician about it?

I could possibly. I honestly feel bad cause I've been pestering talking to my doctor a lot lately abt my medications and I've got a lot of other questions for him (especially regarding my hypoglycemia). I wish I could just make a dedicated appointment so that we could discuss all these things at once

 

[Midoriya]

It definitely sounds like it could be something medical-related. Several months ago leading into last year I was having problems at work with my heart racing and feeling like I was going to pass out. I had bloodwork done and my meds were also checked, and we were able to rule out anything physical or with my meds. Turns out it was most likely sleep-related. I'm getting better sleep these days, but there's still days where I don't and I need to put that to an end.

Definitely consult your doctor if you can about that.

 

[_Rainy_]

Everything causes me to be tired. When I hyper-focus on my projects I’m usually thinking of so many things on top of what I’m doing I can’t turn it off and I always forget to eat and drink and coming out of it is like an out of body experience. Sometimes I get over stimulated and just get sensory overload and everything is too loud and too much. Anxiety has been described of as being like a car over heating and I get plenty of that. Plus ADHD and ASD are said that we both experience emotions much more intensely than the rest of the world. Trying to help people even when it takes a toll on me and then rushing to get my own stuff done. I’m not surprised that I’m tired all the time in the least. Yeah I have depression, but think of the toll all those things take on my body just for being me. I have inattentive type ADHD by the way.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Everything causes me to be tired. When I hyper-focus on my projects I’m usually thinking of so many things on top of what I’m doing I can’t turn it off and I always forget to eat and drink and coming out of it is like an out of body experience. Sometimes I get over stimulated and just get sensory overload and everything is too loud and too much. Anxiety has been described of as being like a car over heating and I get plenty of that. Plus ADHD and ASD are said that we both experience emotions much more intensely than the rest of the world. Trying to help people even when it takes a toll on me and then rushing to get my own stuff done. I’m not surprised that I’m tired all the time in the least. Yeah I have depression, but think of the toll all those things take on my body just for being me. I have inattentive type ADHD by the way.

this is basically my thoughts in regard to my issue. cause me being tired isn't an every day thing, in fact I find over half my days I have energy to do some stuff. but when I don't have an energy I really don't have any and I get super tired.

this is basically why I can't work full time. if I had to work 40 hours a week I would be a perpetual zombie.

 

[nightglow]

A few people more than once told my mom to get me checked for autism when I was growing up but she never did. Autism in the 90s had a negative association and my mom didn't want that, also she was quick to reply that I had ear infections all the time, so that is why I didn't talk very much and didn't pronounce words right for a long time plus I am female and not male (which shouldn't matter, and it was pointed out to her as such but it was the 90s). As I have gotten older I have noticed more how odd I am compared to others, and after learning more about autism, I do wonder if I do have it. Last year, my little cousin who is 5 I think, was diagnosed with autism. And though everyone keeps saying she acts just like I did when I was little, no one is willing to acknowledge that I may have autism as well. They are also expecting her to do really smart things when she grows up, and how she needs to be in all these activities and things while growing up, however I was constantly denied being apart of things growing up. It was always no with any interest I took.
Anywho, I'm not trying to complain, it is just that I don't understand, and I am trying to explain what I am seeing in this circumstance.
So last week, I decided to find one of those online autism quizzes to try that is suppose to help you talk about it with your doctor but not diagnosed you. I scored a 39. Though I am not entirely sure what that exactly means, it was recommended that I should talk to a doctor with.
But.. if I did (which I honestly don't want to because I have had horrible experiences with doctors and they are expensive) would it really matter or change anything at all? It isn't like schooling could change for me, I am old and past all of that now. And something else that could be a factor, I also have fibromyalgia which does have sensory overloads so I don't know how much that would actually influence a mix up of a false suspicion.
So, I guess I am just asking for thoughts. Thanks.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

A few people more than once told my mom to get me checked for autism when I was growing up but she never did. Autism in the 90s had a negative association and my mom didn't want that, also she was quick to reply that I had ear infections all the time, so that is why I didn't talk very much and didn't pronounce words right for a long time plus I am female and not male (which shouldn't matter, and it was pointed out to her as such but it was the 90s). As I have gotten older I have noticed more how odd I am compared to others, and after learning more about autism, I do wonder if I do have it. Last year, my little cousin who is 5 I think, was diagnosed with autism. And though everyone keeps saying she acts just like I did when I was little, no one is willing to acknowledge that I may have autism as well. They are also expecting her to do really smart things when she grows up, and how she needs to be in all these activities and things while growing up, however I was constantly denied being apart of things growing up. It was always no with any interest I took.
Anywho, I'm not trying to complain, it is just that I don't understand, and I am trying to explain what I am seeing in this circumstance.
So last week, I decided to find one of those online autism quizzes to try that is suppose to help you talk about it with your doctor but not diagnosed you. I scored a 39. Though I am not entirely sure what that exactly means, it was recommended that I should talk to a doctor with.
But.. if I did (which I honestly don't want to because I have had horrible experiences with doctors and they are expensive) would it really matter or change anything at all? It isn't like schooling could change for me, I am old and past all of that now. And something else that could be a factor, I also have fibromyalgia which does have sensory overloads so I don't know how much that would actually influence a mix up of a false suspicion.
So, I guess I am just asking for thoughts. Thanks.

receiving an autism diagnosis isn't necessarily just about finding what supports you need. It's also about having solidarity with your past, and understanding why you acted the way you did before your diagnosis. there have been multiple cases of people getting their diagnosis when they're 60-70 years old, and often they break down crying because, in a way, it's a huge relief to have an explanation for your behaviors. I've also heard that late autism diagnoses often result in poor mental health because, instead of understanding why you are the way you are, you beat yourself up for what you're expected to be but can't be.

I also hate the stigma that autistic/aspergers people are super smart and can take on the world. no, we're human just like anyone else. not that autistic people can't be really smart, but gifted children often have expectations put on them that are way too high, and this results in burnout later in their life (I started experiencing burnout near the end of high school).

also wanted to point out that females are generally better at masking autism than males, which is why girls tend to go undiagnosed a lot. it's not specifically a boy thing, and people who think it is don't understand it. I also hate when parents won't get their children tested because of "stigma", in essence they would rather have a child who feels miserable and left out than one who is autistic (reminds me a lot of the whole vaccine thing, even though it's not true at all. like you'd rather have a deathly ill child than an autistic one, great logic there).

 

[Croconaw]

Yeah, so despite being extremely extroverted I’ve had trouble with reading social situations. Even the way other people feel go way over my head sometimes, but some things are obvious to me. I guess it just depends. Like when people are explaining their situation to me (if it’s negative), I won’t really know how to respond other than just apologizing. Although I do feel sad for them, my response just seems cold… I try not to offer unsolicited advice because I know most of the time, people don’t want that/like that. It’s kinda something you just have to work on.

 

[Neb]

I was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder at the age of 4. Some traits have disappeared while others stayed. I can’t maintain eye contact, I can’t read certain body language or facial expressions, and I’m not very good at handling social situations. It’s made it very hard for me to maintain friendships. Despite struggling socially at school, I never received an aide because I wasn’t “autistic enough.” I was also been picked on at work for not being “functional.” I’ve found that when people find out I’m autistic they either talk down to me, feel pity, or simply don’t care. There’s just a general lack of understanding around the condition.

I struggle to empathize with neurotypicals. I try my hardest to understand, but I can never wrap my head around why people act the way they do. I feel disconnected from people as a result.

I wish more media portrayed us properly. The lack of understanding autistic people receive daily could be partially alleviated if there were shows or movies that showed us as regular individuals. It wouldn’t entirely erase the stigma, but it would make our existence more noticeable.

 

[VanitasFan26]

when you're having one of your "low" days do you ever find yourself getting excessively tired? maybe having poor sleep quality and/or sleeping a lot more than usual?

Yeah most of the time I find myself feeling tired and drained from everything. It mostly had to do with everything going on the world and how given that last month I was in the Hospital being treated for high blood sugar it really has affected me mentally. I am sleeping alot these days and while it does help me feel more better I still feel sad in the inside.

I keep having thoughts of what I could've done differently and doing so much research about what happened to me that its the type of stuff that makes me feel drained. I know I should take a break but I just can't help it most of the time.

 

[daringred_]

not officially diagnosed, but it's looking pretty likely that i have ADHD. i brought my suspicions up at my first therapy session a few weeks ago, and at the latest one last week, my therapist took me through a short test. i scored 5/6 (and, honestly, should've probably answered higher on the question i missed in hindsight) and apparently anything above a 4 is worth investigating, so. if i can make myself go to see a doctor any time soon, it'll probably be official. who knows. the question about fidgeting with your hands or feet was funny though because i'd spent the entire 30 minute session tapping my feet in different ways.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

here's something I bet a lot of you neurodivergent folk can relate to:

people tend to compare "laziness" and what is actually "executive dysfunction". laziness is knowing you need to do something and actively doing whatever you can to avoid doing it. executive dysfunction is sitting thinking "I really need/want to do this but I just can't get myself to get up and do it wtf".

I started thinking about this bc I've been hungry for like 2 hours, it's almost 10pm, and I finally know what I can make to eat, yet here I sit at my desk not doing anything except scrolling through this forum. my exec dysfunction is keeping me from going to eat even though it's getting super late.

also good to keep in mind that exec dysfunction can apply to anything, not just things you don't want to do. like I actually really want to go eat and yet I haven't. that's not laziness, that's my executive functioning being stupid this evening

 

[Shawna]

I have Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1), and while I don't have a specific diagnosis on the Autism spectrum the doctors said I am on the spectrum.

Ugh. It can be hard. I have to deal with being misunderstood and disregarded a lot. .-.

And ughhh. The way my brain works sometimes...I often get distressing thoughts stuck in my head and it is so hard to get them out. ;---;

Sensory issues are another major thing I deal with. I am sensitive to brightness, sound, and certain textures of foods and clothes.

I am also sensitive to things like getting yelled at. For neurotypicals...yeah, they don't like it, but it is easier to deal with for them. For certain people on the spectrum, like myself, we will literally cry sometimes...and it can take a while for us to get over it. Like, it ruins our entire day sometimes.

Hopefully, I should start going to programs for ND people like me soon. But it's just been hard for my dad to make progress on it, because so many things have gotten in the way. ;-;

 

[xSuperMario64x]

I have Neurofibromatosis Type 1 (NF1), and while I don't have a specific diagnosis on the Autism spectrum the doctors said I am on the spectrum.

Ugh. It can be hard. I have to deal with being misunderstood and disregarded a lot. .-.

And ughhh. The way my brain works sometimes...I often get distressing thoughts stuck in my head and it is so hard to get them out. ;---;

Sensory issues are another major thing I deal with. I am sensitive to brightness, sound, and certain textures of foods and clothes.

I am also sensitive to things like getting yelled at. For neurotypicals...yeah, they don't like it, but it is easier to deal with for them. For certain people on the spectrum, like myself, we will literally cry sometimes...and it can take a while for us to get over it. Like, it ruins our entire day sometimes.

Hopefully, I should start going to programs for ND people like me soon. But it's just been hard for my dad to make progress on it, because so many things have gotten in the way. ;-;

I def get all these things!! especially the yelling thing, like if someone even slightly starts to raise their voice at me I immediately freak out and assume they're angry at me. and it is so difficult to just get over stuff. you can definitely find some solidarity here whenever you need it <3

 

[Aquilla]

I’m a little late to the party it seems :> I got diagnosed with ADHD last year, at age 24. I didn’t originally plan on speaking up publicly and getting involved in this thread, but I know how much seeing representation means to me so I changed my mind.

It’s been a whirlwind of emotions getting diagnosed so late. I felt so upset and angry at all the „grown-ups“ and professionals in my life who failed to notice what exactly it is that I’m struggling with… In hindsight the signs are absolutely everywhere. In my first ever end-of-term-grade-summary-thing (whatever the heck that is called in English), in all anecdotes my mum loves to tell people about me... As a kid I had been to several mental health professional, but somehow none of them connected the dots. Heck, even my mum, who used to do family counselling specifically for kids with ADHD and their parents failed to notice, when all along all of my symptoms were abundantly clear.

I only got officially diagnosed because I fell down a research rabbit-hole for psychology class and after reading several adhd-in-adult-women-articles I thought WAIT A DAMN MINUTE D: so I made an appointment (after procrastinating several weeks) and sure enough, passed the tests with flying colours one could say. :/

After being done feeling disappointed and sad and angry for a few weeks, I felt immense relief though. I can finally put a name to the many struggles I face every day and I can finally stop beating myself up and being hard on myself for situations where my brain and body just do not function the way they do for neurotypicals. I’m still discovering many facets every day and am eagerly learning about it. Looking forward to reading about more experiences here :>

 

[Dunquixote]

here's something I bet a lot of you neurodivergent folk can relate to:

people tend to compare "laziness" and what is actually "executive dysfunction". laziness is knowing you need to do something and actively doing whatever you can to avoid doing it. executive dysfunction is sitting thinking "I really need/want to do this but I just can't get myself to get up and do it wtf".

I started thinking about this bc I've been hungry for like 2 hours, it's almost 10pm, and I finally know what I can make to eat, yet here I sit at my desk not doing anything except scrolling through this forum. my exec dysfunction is keeping me from going to eat even though it's getting super late.

also good to keep in mind that exec dysfunction can apply to anything, not just things you don't want to do. like I actually really want to go eat and yet I haven't. that's not laziness, that's my executive functioning being stupid this evening

Thank you so much for sharing this! I’ve been wondering myself about this. Like for instance, I have games and anime that I really want to play/watch, but I honestly don’t know if it is laziness or what you described. Been finding it harder to divide my time up amongst different tasks. I always had trouble reading more than one book or playing more than one game at the same time, but I think I was able to for some good amount of time to do a few different things. Then again, I never really thought much about any of this until recently.

One more thing I forgot to mention in my post, was that the testing results said I had some symptoms of ADHD too. I had noticed my ability to focus had been declining throughout high school and got really bad in college. I’m not sure why that didn’t ring any bells for me or my mom; then again, maybe it did for my mom but she didn’t tell me . This part is really a bummer since I feel like along with depression, I can’t function very well and do a lot of stuff I used to really enjoy. I’m hoping that we’ll be able to find some support to help me adjust & work through this, not to mention find a job that I’m comfortable with and can manage to get myself to do.

 

[Shawna]

Hello! I'm neurotypical so sorry if I sound like I'm intruding on this thread or I sound like I don't understand
I just want to know how to treat autistic people the best I can so I don't make them feel uncomfortable or make things more difficult for them.
My second closest friend has autism, I was wondering if there is anything I should avoid saying/doing to autistic people
I read somewhere autistic people aren't good at understanding sarcasm and homophones is that true or not?

Oh no. You are NOT an intrusion. ^^ I feel it's also important for neurotypical people to be a part of this, so they can get knowledge on us :,,,,)

Just try to have as much patience and understanding as you can.

Understand that our brains work differently from neurotypical people, understand that we can be sensitive to certain things (like brightness, loud noises, people angered at us, etc.)

Understand that we may sometimes have distressing thoughts and worries that we cannot control.

A lot of people with Autism also have trouble being polite, despite trying their hardest to do so (including myself), so please be sensitive to that too. ^^

And just show tact, be kind, and be understanding <3333

 

[JellyBeans]

here's something I bet a lot of you neurodivergent folk can relate to:

people tend to compare "laziness" and what is actually "executive dysfunction". laziness is knowing you need to do something and actively doing whatever you can to avoid doing it. executive dysfunction is sitting thinking "I really need/want to do this but I just can't get myself to get up and do it wtf".

I started thinking about this bc I've been hungry for like 2 hours, it's almost 10pm, and I finally know what I can make to eat, yet here I sit at my desk not doing anything except scrolling through this forum. my exec dysfunction is keeping me from going to eat even though it's getting super late.

also good to keep in mind that exec dysfunction can apply to anything, not just things you don't want to do. like I actually really want to go eat and yet I haven't. that's not laziness, that's my executive functioning being stupid this evening

this this this!! i haven't got a formal diagnosis or anything, but i really heavily suspect i have ADHD and executive dysfunction was actually one of the first things i heard about that i really related to and made me look further into getting a diagnosis. the amount of time i spend lying in bed continuing to just scroll when 10 minutes ago i got a sudden wave of motivation and suddenly really wanted to get up and do work but i just physically can't bring myself to do so...
on a more general note for this thread, like i said i haven't gotten a formal diagnosis because even though the more i find out about adult women with ADHD, the more i find myself understanding about a lot of things in my life, there's some part of me that thinks i'm actually just lazy, or burnt out, or just generally don't have 'enough' known symptoms in order to qualify for a diagnosis. there's also a super long waiting list to even get referred, i think. but reading about other people's experiences on here is really comforting!

 

[Croconaw]

Thanks for making this thread. It’s nice reading everyone else’s experiences here. I wouldn’t say I’m very vocal about having autism, heck, I don’t think I even mentioned it anywhere aside from a post in this thread. I think representation is important, though.