How do I transition my name?

[UglyMonsterFace]

So I would prefer to be called by my second name, but I have always been called by my first. So say my name is Allison Jane S. Lastname (this is a fake name, obvs). I want to be called Jane. However, I don't know how to transition it, and even though I'd love to introduce myself to people I meet as Jane, rather than Allison, I feel like a fraud, even though it is still my legal name. Especially at new jobs, because my first name on the resume is Allison, I feel like I have to use that name when introducing myself, then I feel like it's too late to ask to be called Jane. I guess I should say that both my names are a bit unusual so I feel awkward about them, because it might seem like I'm just trying to make myself stand out and be unique. Does anybody have any advice on how I could maybe ask my new work mates to call me by my second name and start phasing out my first?

 

[Bowie]

I have a different name which I use for all of my art online (and have never put here simply because I'd rather not have all my audience flock to my profile on a gaming forum, you know what I mean?), and I've really come to identify with it, easily as much as my real name.

You don't need to explain yourself to anybody. If you're Jane, you're Jane. Nobody needs to know any different unless they ask.

 

[piichinu]

Just tell them you want to go by the name lol doesng matter

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I have a different name which I use for all of my art online (and have never put here simply because I'd rather not have all my audience flock to my profile on a gaming forum, you know what I mean?), and I've really come to identify with it, easily as much as my real name.

You don't need to explain yourself to anybody. If you're Jane, you're Jane. Nobody needs to know any different unless they ask.

I suppose you're right. It's just a matter of me not feeling natural about my other name since no one is used to using it. If I ask new people I meet to call me Jane, then suddenly they hear someone call me Allison, they might think I'm being fake or something. I suppose it's my anxiety brain at work here, since just the idea of asking to be called by another name freaks me out and makes me think of all the ways it could backfire. Maybe I should just go for it and see what happens.. Would it be rude to tell my manager, "Actually, I prefer to be called Jane, if that's alright?" even if I first introduced myself as Allison? To me it sounds rude and something they'll get mad at me for, but it might just be my anxiety brain (as I call it).

- - - Post Merge - - -

Just tell them you want to go by the name lol doesng matter

I wish my brain could simplify things that way, but it blows things out of proportion to the point that sometimes I can't distinguish between a rational or irrational fear. Hehe

 

[Bowie]

Maybe just say something like "My name is Allison, but you can call me Jane!"

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

Maybe just say something like "My name is Allison, but you can call me Jane!"

That's a good idea. I think I'll try that ^_^

 

[seliph]

You might wanna mention it's your middle name too, like "I'm Allison but I go by my middle name, Jane" otherwise people might be like "That's a completely different name wtf?"

It might be scary the first time but you'll get used to it!

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

You might wanna mention it's your middle name too, like "I'm Allison but I go by my middle name, Jane" otherwise people might be like "That's a completely different name wtf?"

It might be scary the first time but you'll get used to it!

Yeah, that's actually why I'm scared to ask them, since it's a completely different name. But now that you put it that way, it might be better to say it that way Thanks!

 

[DarkDesertFox]

I'd say it's just as simple as going up to someone and saying your name is Allison, but you prefer to be called Jane. I don't really understand the fear part of it though. I've had people in my college make alterations to their names to the extreme. Like one guy was literally called V and I didn't care. I'll call you the name you want me to. Although, if it's someone I know I admit it may feel a little weird and difficult to start calling them something entirely different. You might have to make some exceptions in that area.

 

[visibleghost]

many ppl go by their middle name bc of different reasons. some ppl put the longer name as the middle name (for example even though sone kid goes by jonathan it's their middle name bc it is longer than the other name that's greg or w/e).
it's nothing weird to go by your middle name and i don't think people will care a lot tho u will probably have to correct people bc they will assume you go by your first name.

as 4 friends and family idk lol

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

I'd say it's just as simple as going up to someone and saying your name is Allison, but you prefer to be called Jane. I don't really understand the fear part of it though. I've had people in my college make alterations to their names to the extreme. Like one guy was literally called V and I didn't care. I'll call you the name you want me to. Although, if it's someone I know I admit it may feel a little weird and difficult to start calling them something entirely different. You might have to make some exceptions in that area.

The reason for the fear is because I have anxiety, especially when it has anything to do with social interaction. In my mind, I see all the negative outcomes of every situation and every simple thing becomes something to be feared. So what is a regular every day thing to "normal" people, is something that causes me distress and anxiety. I hope this answers your question!

- - - Post Merge - - -

many ppl go by their middle name bc of different reasons. some ppl put the longer name as the middle name (for example even though sone kid goes by jonathan it's their middle name bc it is longer than the other name that's greg or w/e).
it's nothing weird to go by your middle name and i don't think people will care a lot tho u will probably have to correct people bc they will assume you go by your first name.

as 4 friends and family idk lol

I know a rational and normal person would have just straight up introduced themselves with the name they prefer. However, since I'm not regularly called by that name by anybody, I feel as though I'm being fake. (I know, it's completely irrational). But I have already introduced myself as my first name. So switching it randomly makes me nervous. But I'm going to try Hopefully it sticks!

 

[demoness]

my mother's first name is teresa but she's been known as diane her entire adult life. it's not like you're asking coworkers to use a nickname; your middle name is still your name, you're not being fake at all c:

not that i'm saying using nicknames is fake btw, but generally that takes more time to spread outside your friend circle/or you don't really have control over them.

 

[cIementine]

im isabelle and ive always been called izzy. i don't mind the nickname, but i kind of wish i'd gone by belle or bella? something i might adapt once i leave school and go to college.
if i were you, i'd just say 'hi my name is allison but i go by jane, my middle name'. i can relate to the anxiety in social situations, but i just remember that although people can seem intimidating sometimes, they really don't care about the small things about other people and just want to get on with their own lives, and they're not going to dwell on it just because you might. hope all goes well!

 

[Kitsuragi]

ive known many people who go by middle name for convenience or they just like it better. just introduce yourself as jane but say its your middle name, and you prefer that

 

[Romaki]

Lots of people go by their second name, it's not uncommon. Sure the change is gonna be awkward, but don't worry too much about it.

 

[UglyMonsterFace]

Thanks everyone I'm glad to know all my worries are just in my head and it wouldn't be a big deal to others.

 

[meo]

Introduce yourself as Jane to everyone and specify it's preferred. Usually the applications have a place to specify your preferred name otherwise I would specify it at the time of filling out any documents upon hire.. However, most places of employment understand that people have "preferred" names so it's not a huge thing. I've seen resumes that do Allison (Jane) Lastname. So, that's an option you could explore.

 

[Chris]

A new environment is useful.

I started going by Tina online from age 16/17, adopted it as part of my penname, but it wasn't until I was 18 and starting college that I started introducing myself to others as Tina and not even mentioning my legal name. Eventually it caught on with former friends, my parents, etc, too after I changed it on social media. When lecturers made a mistake (by reading the name on the register) I would correct them and ask them to call me Tina instead to try and stop my classmates following their lead.