How do you feel about age differences in friendships/relationships?

[Romaki]

I'm in my mid-twenties and somehow everybody I love is like younger than me. Perks of being a late bloomer I guess, but no one my age in my area watches as much YouTube as I do, haha.

I'd feel too weird about it with minors though. Like, that's a baby.

 

[TurnipBell20]

Age doesn’t matter to me in friendships. Actually, most of my friends are 8+ years older than me. We have similar interests, and they can give good advice. Some of my best friends are even 60+ years old.

In a romantic relationship, I prefer people to be 4 to 8 years older than me.

 

[-Blue-]

Friendships come in all kinds. I used to do Civil War reenactments. It's kind of dead now due to the pandemic and I'm not sure when or if it will ever come back. But a lot of the reenactors were older. Like back when I first started in their 40s-60s. It was fun to do. Their age didn't bother me. We all had fun and got along really well. I would say we formed a good friendship. It's not like we would visit each others house or anything, but we would meet up for the events and have fun. Mainly because with reenactments you join existing units ex 45th Pennsylvania Reserves. And so I would always see the same faces and we grew a bond over time.

Or like I have a few friends online that I play different games with. And they range from all ages, but it really doesn't matter to me since we're all there just to have fun/good times. There will always be someone out there to argue about having a friend younger or older than you, but honestly they should focus all that energy on something more productive and not be so nosy.

 

[Kitsuragi]

i personally don't mind it but it also really depends?? like my and my partner have a 2 and a half year age gap, thats good for me. my sister and her husband have a 5 year age gap, and they're perfect for each other. it's not what i personally would like (for myself) but they're both in their 30s so they're responsible and made that decision on their own. so it's valid! and they're really happy together and have been for the past like, 5 years together, so i dont see a problem.

but for me personally, i could not be good friends with someone under the age of 18. i'm only 22 and it's just weird to me to think about that. i don't think i would ever date someone less than 3 years younger than me either. that's just me personally though!

 

[Shawna]

I will be 24 on the 9th. I have close friends who are 14 and 15. As someone with delayed development, I actually prefer to make friends with people who are younger than me.

 

[Bowie]

When I was younger I definitely had a tendency to go for much, much older men. But then I got to 20 and suddenly it just completely weirds me out 99% of the time, so now I'm only into folks my own age. But of course it always depends.

I definitely think that if you're both consenting adults there's nothing wrong with being 30 and your partner being 70 or whatever it may be. People like to talk about there being a weird dynamic about that sort of thing but I think it's silly to put so much emphasis on age when you are both adults. But that's just my experience.

 

[Budgie]

I don’t have a problem with age gap relationships as long as both members are around the same level of maturity. Eg, a 20 year old might not be at the same stage in life as a 40 year old. But as long as both involved are adults and genuinely love each other, we can’t speak for how they feel. I have an age gap of 7 years with my partner and I would say I never even consider the age gap in my relationship, it’s just the person I love!

Friendships shouldn’t have age limits for sure! It’s so interesting interacting with people of all ages. As long as we share interests, why not! I’ve always gotten along with people older than me much easier than people my own age.

 

[arikins]

i really dont mind. my parents are 10 years apart so growing up i never saw it as a problem.

my boyfriend is 5 months younger than me.

in terms of friendships i dont think theres a limit. ive always gotten along with adults more growing up, and now i get along with people a little younger than me.

 

[Bulbadragon]

I think for friendships, as long as it truly is just friendship with no hidden motives, age doesn't really matter. My oldest friend was 50 when I was 19, we were in the same education major in college. People thought it was weird because he was a guy and I'm not, but there was nothing going on besides friendship at all.

Romantic relationship age gaps matter a lot to me. I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a large age gap, even at ages where I would consider it okay for others. I think that it depends a lot on the two people. I think the "half your age plus seven" rule is a good starting point, but there's more to consider before I would say it's okay or not.

 

[Oblivia]

I'm basically mid-30s at this point, and romantically I couldn't see myself being with anyone younger than very late 20s or older than early 40s. I do feel that as we get older the age differences don't matter as much - for example, I'd see nothing wrong with a 45 year old and a 60 year old being involved - but there tends to be something of a power imbalance when you're dealing with a large age gap when still "young", and I think that would make me somewhat uncomfortable regardless of which side of the age spectrum I was on.

Friendships are a little more complicated for me. It would be difficult for me to consider someone a friend if they were substantially younger than me, though I wouldn't mind having a mentor-type relationship with someone like this, provided any conversations were about their own experiences and my role was solely to give advice rather than discuss "adult" topics with them from my side.

I think both scenarios boil down to being compatible in both maturity level and life experience.

 

[-Raven-]

I feel really weird about it. In relationships I wouldn’t do more than a three-year age gap. I don’t get along with my sister and she’s several years older than me, we’re basically a generation apart in age. That always reminds me of how different and weird it can be. My current partner is two years younger than me.

When it comes to friendships it can actually be interesting to see perspectives from different generations, but I’ve had it mess friendships up. I had an online friend who fell in love with me but they only revealed their age later and they were too young, it made me absolutely sick.
In general I don’t want to be involved a lot with people a lot younger than me as close friends, feels like too much responsibility and I just haven’t grown up with them or anything, there are definitely younger people who can keep up conversation with me but I also know they’re still growing. I like hearing from younger generations but I also know the friendship couldn’t be as close as I like. Plus that one friend who lied about their age to me really messed me up.

ftr. I’m in my 20s.

 

[tumut]

I think its unhealthy if you wish to pursue a relationship with someone much older or much younger than you.

It's just harder to relate to people once they're a certain set of years separating people. Especially if you're within a generation who grew up with the internet.

 

[Khaoticnoize187]

If its legal and between consenting adults i have 0 issues whatsoever.

 

[nightglow]

I feel like once both parties leave their 20s, an age gap up to 10 years isn't that big of a deal.
Until then, 2 yr gap is probably best. People have alot of growth and change in their lives in their 20s.

At the end of the day though, as long as both are adults and are good with whatever then, well, they are adults that can choose for themselves. Friendship or otherwise.

 

[Mokuren]

There is a difference between a couple with a 10 year gap when they are 40 and 50 or 20 and 30. Honestly it creeps me out to think about it. I would never date someone that is 20 or even younger. I am now 30 and I could totally date someone with the age 40 tho!

It really depends. Older people dating kids is just gross. Adults dating adults is fine with me.

 

[wrenbow]

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[Millysaurusrexjr]

Relationships: I personally would not want to be with someone that isn't on my level, so to speak. By level I mean stuff like lived experience, maturity, things like that. I can't imagine wanting to be with someone far younger than me because we might not be in the same place in life, and I wouldn't want to be with someone that I couldn't grow old with and has already done it all (someone like, +20 years older than me). I feel pretty lucky to be with my husband as we are pretty much on equal levels, and he's only 1 year older than me.

Friendships: Idk,, I think an adult can at least be a friendly acquaintance with someone younger than 18 -- but to take it to a whole friendship might be a bit too far/inappropriate. On the other side, I think I could be friends with someone much older than me. Not my elderly neighbour though, she made some mean comments towards my lifestyle and I just don't need that sass.

 

[Aquilla]

Relationships: I have always been with people who were older than me. Wasn’t on purpose, but worked out for me. I couldn’t imagine being with someone who’s 20+ years older though.

Friendships: know no age limit! I am currently friends with people in their 50s and 60s and people much younger than me and I appreciate those friends for who they are, not their age. IRL I seem to struggle befriending people exactly my age. I appreciate the foresight, experience and wisdom my older friends have in conversations.