How do you feel about family get-togethers/reunions?

[Shawna]

I am going to be honest with you guys: I have mixed feelings about these types of events.

While they can be enjoyable and fun, and while it can be heartwarming if it's family you haven't seen in a while, they can be extremely nerve-wracking and/or stressful for me. Mostly before, but even during at times.

(warning: kind of a vent ahead)

Other than the fact that I am just the time of person who is a loner and doesn't want to worry about family matters all the time, I have had negative experiences in the past that left me feeling apprehensive every time another get-together or reunion is approaching. :/

As for family get-togethers with my close extended family, they can stress me out because my grandma can be extremely uptight. Not only that, but they are extremely devout and force everyone to pray (they do not pray at every gathering, and I am not always forced to pray, but it is a situation I find myself in occasionally). I did not have to deal with these very often when I was in my old town, because we live pretty far away from my family, but we did have reunions occasionally, which I will get into next.

And for going through a pandemic, we do these quite often. I do not mind doing these for birthdays, holidays, and other events, but just doing them for no reason, it's just like...why?

. . .

As for reunions, while these are not as much of a thing now, now that I live a lot closer to my extended family (on my dad's side), I do have one nuclear family member who lives far away (in my old town): My mom.

I have not seen her since November 2019, because of the pandemic and my dad was busy with work and getting things situated for me and my brother, but in the two times I did see her since moving out of that town, they were not the most pleasant. She got angry at me for wanting to wear a certain dress, she told me I am becoming like my dad (as an insult), and she will not stop bugging me to live with her, when she knows damn-well, she is not in the right situation for her daughter (referring to myself) to live with her. She should want what's best for me, and what's best for me is living here with my dad.

I could list all of the reasons why I have resentment towards my mom, but I do not want to get too off-topic and personal. ;-;

Not only can seeing family you haven't seen in a while can be stressful, but I get homesick during overnight trips and I do not like sleeping away from home. :/

My dad said we are going to try to get together with my mom sometime later this year... Of course, I am looking forward to it, and NOT looking forward to it at the same time. .-.

Anyway yeah, I felt like this place deserved a thread for this type of topic. Feel free to tell us how you feel about family get-togethers and family reunions, and if you want, you can tell some stories.

 

[LadyDestani]

I understand how you feel. I absolutely dread family gatherings for multiple reasons.

For one, I don't deal well with a lot of people at once, even if I know them really well. It's too much for me and I always end up leaving with a headache. I'd prefer to spend time with only a few people at a time.

But the main reason is because those gatherings force a bunch of people together who simply don't get along. My family is very dysfunctional so there are always fights and arguments. It's extremely stressful trying to say just the right things to not set anybody off or to diffuse the situation if things get heated.

My family has never once looked like a Hallmark Christmas card, with everyone smiling and happy. Every single holiday, birthday, reunion, or other gathering in my memory has been a nightmare. I'd much rather spend the time with a select few of my loved ones versus everyone.

 

[Neb]

I almost never see any of my extended family members (save for my aunts, uncles, great aunt, and grandparents). The last family reunion we had was in 2006. Everyone gathered at my grandparents house. I vaguely remember it being crowded. I also remember seeing my second cousin, the only other kid in the family at the time, play with some toy. Due to social anxiety I was too scared to join.

On a conceptual level I think family reunions are nice. They sound like a nice way to find out what your extended family is up to. I do have to wonder how things would play out with the current political climate though. With the way things are now I imagine intense arguments would likely erupt.

 

[.: Meri :.]

Most of my experiences with family gatherings have been largely negative/stressful, so I don't really care for them myself. ;; Even if no one's upset or anything, a lot of my relatives get really loud (basically shouting volume) and will try to talk over each other at the same time, and that level of noise and things going on is really overwhelming to me. I'm always trying to find a quiet room to sit where there aren't many people.
A lot of my older relatives are getting pushy about me getting married and having children (which I don't want, and they get upset with me when I try to tell them this, no matter how gently), and my grandfather is also very homophobic/transphobic, so that's... not great for my mental health either.

 

[VanitasFan26]

As an Introvert I am not a big fan of Family Reunions. I don't know most of who my family is because they come from Trinidad and Tobago thats where my parents were originally from before they moved to the US around 1992 (3 years before I was even born). Whenever a member of the family visits I tend to ask my parents "Are they coming alone or are they just going to have company with them"

This one painful memory was the time that my Sister came with her little kids. Oh man was it something else. She stayed at my home for like 3 weeks and during that time her kids were just making noises. Sometimes they would go into my room without my permission and they went through my personal belongings. Since then I always have to lock the door because I don't trust anyone going into my room to take stuff from me.

Now let me be clear I do love my family (even sometimes they can be a pain) but when it comes to like Family gatherings and reunions I have a hard time dealing with them because it just drains my energy and makes me feel uncomfortable as an Introvert.

 

[ItsThatDamCatAgain]

Aaah, family reunions, I only ever went cause I was underage and couldn't stay home by myself. And also the food.
I'm introverted and I'm quite happy being alone, my immediate family is quite small too, mostly my mother, brother and grandparent. I have 4 others that are closer than the rest (niece nephew and all that) but yeah. Small.

So when we go to family reunions I literally only know those above ^ and no one else, all strangers. I usually just sat at the table talking with my family eating the food and waiting to go. The last time I went, a woman whose family (obviously) but I don't know, hugged me which... ok? I didn't know where to put my arms because I do not hug or really like being touched that much, so, awkward.

But all in all not too bad, there were never any break out arguments or anything, just kinda boring and once again, awkward.

 

[tiffanistarr]

i didn’t have the best family life growing up when it came to family members outside of my immediate household. I also didn’t live close to them, so i have no feelings for them really. It sounds kinda harsh? but that whole you have to love them because their your family thing is just stupid to me.

We’ve recently moved closer to where my extended family lives and my grandmother is really keen about spending time with some of them. I don’t get it to be honest, like i’ve lived my whole life without them and Im just supposed to love these people I barely know??? Yeah, no thanks.

Im close with my grandmother, sister, and nephew and that’s good enough for me.

 

[DarkDesertFox]

Honestly, if you have a good family, enjoy them while you can. My mom's side of the family is huge so naturally the get-togethers were always very active. I never really looked forward to going them because I was usually in my own corner with my sister and cousin until my parents were ready to leave. A couple of my uncles passed away, some divorces happened, and cousins are moving outside of the state so they've gotten a lot smaller. Now I really reflect back on when everyone was together and things were simpler. While family get-together's are something you may not look forward to, never take them for granted.

 

[Croconaw]

I’ve never liked them. I don’t get along with many people in my family. I’ve stopped going over for holidays after I turned 18. I also avoid them at all costs. They don’t support my long term goals and I see no reason to let them keep bringing me down. Their negativity drains me inside.

 

[-Mars-]

--

 

[TurnipBell20]

I have the greatest family, but we never officially had a family reunion. It’s just not really a thing here. When I was a kid, one of my great-uncles invited a couple of family members over to his house. That’s probably what came closest to a family reunion, because we got to see the part of our family we rarely have the opportunity to talk to. I liked it. I played with the kids there, and watched someone play Bomberman.

 

[Chris]

My family doesn't meet for anything besides weddings and funerals, so nothing like this has ever occurred. Even if it did I wouldn't attend. I cannot stand the people I am related to and have cut off most of them.

 

[Soigne]

i don’t really get along with my family, so i really don’t like family gatherings. normally we only have them around major holidays, but sometimes i try to make other plans so i’m not expected to be there.

i’ve always been on the outskirts of my family. i’m an only child & all of my cousins are older than me and have children and/or are married, so i don’t talk to them. i’ve nothing in common with the rest of my family either. it’s for the best that i don’t see them much, i think.

 

[amemome]

I'm pretty distant from my extended family since I'm really introverted and so are my cousins. I'm close with my mom's side of the family and cordial with my dad's side. I do like catching up just to see where everyone is in life, but it's always awkward since we're all introverts and nobody has the courage to speak up.

 

[Mikaiah]

for me it's awkward since my parents both immigrated to the USA so there's a lot of physical distance between us and the extended family. just not very familiar with them & haven't had many interactions

 

[Alienfish]

Mostly **** cause I don't get along with those people who want it. Also sucks a lot of countries and culture still have this thing "you need to attend, you're family, blood-related" or whatever crap they pull. Like, parents must be natural sadists cause obviously they love to see their kids suffer...

 

[-Blue-]

Depends on how much family we are talking about. I get along well enough with most of my family. There are some bad eggs in the mix, but the majority of the family has cut them out opposed to stopping what we like to do altogether. No sense in letting a few rotten apples ruin the whole bunch. I get that's not always the case with a lot of families, but it was for mine. And the ones I stay in contact with are the ones that I enjoy spending time with during the holidays.

 

[Hopeless Opus]

i actually really, really love being around lots of family. i don't see many of them too often, so to be given the opportunity makes me really excited!

 

[Midoriya]

I love all of my extended family dearly, so I don't mind them, lol.

 

[deana]

Growing up we had a few extended family members who we kept in regular contact with and I always enjoyed visits with them. At big reunions and stuff where EVERYONE was there I always had a bad time. There were never any other kids my age there, everyone else was either way older or younger than me so I never had anyone to hang out with besides my sister. And speaking of her, we would also have to do a tour of sorts around to all the "old people" who wanted to see ThE tWiNs and then tell us that we look nothing alike as if we didn't know that

Now that I'm older these sort of events are more tolerable but still not really a favourite of mine. I like hearing what everyone else is up to but I really don't like talking about myself. Thankfully I now have more of a choice in attending or not attending and the pandemic has also put a lot of these gatherings to a halt which I don't mind.