(i actually just didnt quote because i didnt feel like editing the text out, my apologies)
so, after looking it up, i admit to not having realized the full extent of what "emotional cheating" actually meant. it honestly still kind of confuses me, because having emotions isnt necessarily someones fault -- however, from what i saw, it goes further than just having the emotions? feel free to correct me if im wrong, but from my understanding it isnt just falling for someone else and trying to work it out. it would be falling for someone else and then, i dont know... sort of using them as a side deal? not getting away from the situation, not trying to improve it, not trying to work it out with either partner. in that case, i can definitely understand. (again feel free to correct me if im wrong thats just what i gathered from reading) it seems as if emotional cheating is simply just not doing a thing about having those feelings and continuing on with both people.
but if thats the case, she wasnt emotionally cheating, because she
did attempt to do something about the situation and she was honest. that, i suppose, is where it catches me.
thing is, i can understand it to an extent -- i am not fully aware of her situation, but if i were friends with someone and they were upset with me, i would likely try to make it right. to stop yourself from feeling responsible for someones feelings isnt always easy (though i am sure you know this). regardless, i do see and understand where you are coming from. i apologize again for snapping without doing my research. im still on the fence about the whole emotional cheating thing, but i understand what youre trying to say.
heavens me, youve got me all wrong. i will preface by saying love and romance are the most important things in the world to me, and so no, i definitely do
not advocate following whims that will only destroy your relationship.
now, again, yes, being in control of yourself is a good thing -- my point was its not always easy, which youve already pointed out. i will say that i dont think its always lust/affection -- though im not sure, people do talk about "love at first sight" and whatnot. however, i am not saying thats a reason to go cheating or anything, not by any means. i think the best bet would be to wait it out and see, if you really feel there is something there.
as previously stated, i definitely do not feel chasing spontaneous emotions is the way to go. and i understand that randomly breaking the news would upset someone. so, i think in that case, it might be wise to again, wait it out and make sure you know what youre feeling (i hope im making sense lol). that way, you know if its something serious that you should talk about.
and no, i never said that. i am fully aware of how deep and complex love is. this would just be a matter of differing opinions -- i, myself, would prefer to be honest. i would WANT him to know about it, to get his opinion, to see how we should work it out -- however, only if it was actually serious and not just like "oh hey i have this small crush on this person." honestly, speaking on the complexity of love, i find that to be the exact reason you should tell your partner. im not saying your opinion is bad or wrong and forgive me if it seemed so -- i just really felt honesty was the way to go in a situation where the feelings for someone else were serious.
as for the last part, im unsure if i agree because everyone is their own person and i dont think its entirely fair to generalize like that, but thats alright. i suppose i understand what youre trying to say.
anyway, again, my apologies for being misinformed/brash. i think i misunderstood both of you, so i appreciate you clearing it up! ' v'
