I need boy help, badly - will pay 30TBT!

[MozzarellaSticks]

I've been too chicken to even go to the meat counter (the department where he works) to say good morning. I'm being pretty awful. X_X Months ago I felt the same way as I do now and stopped visiting him alltogether but he would come around my table to say hey and stuff. Eventually he DID catch on that I was ignoring him and he literally approached me and asked what was wrong and if I was okay. So that ALSO made me feel horrible. I didn't have the heart to say HE was the problem so I just said I was stressed and would feel better soon to which that he said he hoped I felt better because he liked it better when I was smiling. I almost cried.

So I don't want to repeat that. I believe you when you say that it will not fade away nicely. The only solution to making it fade away nicely is to get another job. I would quit and considered it but I need money to pay for school so I refuse to quit over some guy. He doesn't really bother me at work, it's more that I feel guilty and horrible whenever I spot him. I wish I was able to treat him like a normal coworker but I feel awkward and instead of facing him like an adult, I hide away and that's wrong.

Do you think that having a serious talk is too much? I don't want to be annoying and serious all the time.

Even if you switch jobs, I don't seem him just letting it go. He will probably inspiringly message you, and eventually you will feel bad and reply. It's a crappy situation. You have to cut ties completely. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it's hard. But you have to do it. No one likes having to tell someone it's over, just like no one likes to hear it. But it needs to happen. You have to tell him.

Serious conversations are necessary at times. Doesn't make you too serious. It makes you mature and a good person. You both deserve some closure.

 

[Shirohibiki]

im starting to agree with everyone saying you need to speak with him a final time to clear everything up. i think i agree that avoiding things and running it in circles will do no good. in some circumstances it might be necessary, but i think in this case, talking to him might be best.

i understand being a sexual person and needing affection by the way, i totally get it. im sorry you have to deal with long distance with your boyfriend. >: i think it was a good idea to try with pat, but it just didnt work out and now hes disrespectful of boundaries. i am not sure if you CAN be friends with him -- mainly due to his issues. so, to reiterate, i think talking with him frankly will help.

 

[kayleee]

Okay so what it sounds like is you don't really want advice at all, you just want to continue trying to be friends with a guy that's a serious creep. My new advice for you is: know your self worth. If you think a guy who badgers you for nudes deserves to be your friend, you have bigger problems u need to address

 

[ams]

Corrie, I'm guessing you're just a teenager since the way you're talking is similar to a lot of girls I knew in high school who were being manipulated by deadbeat older men (you feel bad for him, you feel guilty, you worry about how you'll come across if you speak your mind, basically textbook manipulation of a young girl with no self esteem). But honestly, I think it would be best if you talk to an adult in your life (like a parent or a therapist) instead of continuing on here.

 

[kayleee]

Corrie, I'm guessing you're just a teenager since the way you're talking is similar to a lot of girls I knew in high school who were being manipulated by deadbeat older men (you feel bad for him, you feel guilty, you worry about how you'll come across if you speak your mind, basically textbook manipulation of a young girl with no self esteem). But honestly, I think it would be best if you talk to an adult in your life (like a parent or a therapist) instead of continuing on here.

if the like button worked I would like this 50 times

Edit: just kidding it works

 

[Ghost Soda]

I've been too chicken to even go to the meat counter (the department where he works) to say good morning. I'm being pretty awful. X_X Months ago I felt the same way as I do now and stopped visiting him alltogether but he would come around my table to say hey and stuff. Eventually he DID catch on that I was ignoring him and he literally approached me and asked what was wrong and if I was okay. So that ALSO made me feel horrible. I didn't have the heart to say HE was the problem so I just said I was stressed and would feel better soon to which that he said he hoped I felt better because he liked it better when I was smiling. I almost cried.

So I don't want to repeat that. I believe you when you say that it will not fade away nicely. The only solution to making it fade away nicely is to get another job. I would quit and considered it but I need money to pay for school so I refuse to quit over some guy. He doesn't really bother me at work, it's more that I feel guilty and horrible whenever I spot him. I wish I was able to treat him like a normal coworker but I feel awkward and instead of facing him like an adult, I hide away and that's wrong.

Do you think that having a serious talk is too much? I don't want to be annoying and serious all the time.

- - - Post Merge - - -



I relate to him as well. I've been in a situation similar to this before (but not as intense and we were both single!) so I know how he feels, if I understand his feelings correctly. That is perhaps why I can't bring myself to get mad at him. I just feel sad and I wish I could make him happy. I don't believe he's "evil" and all bad. He's just troubled and has his own issues to work out.

Stop being nice. Stop beating around the bush. He's acting like an immature a**hole and you need to address it head on.

And it doesn't matter what "issues" he has, it doesn't excuse his behavior. As long as you keep up being nice to him you are reinforcing this behavior.

 

[supercataleena]

I'm a very sexual person (but am a virgin no less!) and I get drawn by that easily, whether I want to or not.

I'm in a long distance relationship so I do not get that physical attention and I crave it a lot. I'm not even talking just sexually, I'm talking cuddling, holding hands, etc. I crave that stuff and adore it so much.

- - - Post Merge - - -



I say hi to the ones I'm "close" with.
Sorry for being confusing. I'm just so confused myself. X_X I mainly am not sure if I should still be friends with him or not, if he actually cares/likes me or if he's purely into using me. I don't like him anymore, I promise. ^^; I just don't want to hurt his feelings. I don't like when anyone is mad at me. I don't know how to not feel guilty..is a problem too.

I can't even. So you're obviously NOT experienced with creepers. THIS is what they do. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. Creepers can take you out places! Creepers can watch tv! Lol! You think creepers go into their evil fortresses and plot evil? No. They have wants/needs like us. Creepers can easily take you out if that means getting to third base.

You know what. Just go do whatever you want to do. You're a virgin, you're young, seems like you don't really want to be with your boyfriend, go ahead and be with this guy since that seems like what needs to happen. You need to make a mistake once in your life to realize how precious of a thing you had. That may seem bad, but I don't think it is. You'll regret not doing this at least once. In high school I made lots of mistakes, but I don't regret them. I'm glad I acted upon them, but I made sure to not involve my family so they didn't have to deal with the B.S. LOL

I'm speaking to you like this because you're 19. You're a woman. You need to go make some mistakes. You need to go break some hearts. And you need to go with what your heart tells you. Cause you missed that in high school. First thing you need to do is be open with sexuality. You need to ask the last time he has had sex or if he was with someone without you around. You need to know how creeper this creep is. Make sure whatever stupid things you do doesn't effect you living with your family though. Don't try to move in with this guy whatever you do.

All I know is he better be worth it.

 

[crystalmilktea]

What does Pat give you that your boyfriend doesn't? What does Pat give you that your other male friends don't give you?

 

[raeyoung]

Corrie!
I have a good idea.
Try to explain to both guys that perhaps Pat should try to work out his issues/actions. Tell your bf to calm down and you can work it out. There are other ideas around here for you. Just try not to be rude. Be polite, but also be honest.

 

[Damniel]

Update on pat?

 

[kayleee]

Update on pat?

Hopefully there is nothing to update on tbh this whole situation is a train wreck