LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[brutalitea]

Yes! Really really really no offense, but I don't give out the exact university online. It's within the CSU system and it's in the Los Angeles area.

I go to a CSU in that area too! High five!

No but if you could find someone who speaks the language she is most comfortable with (if you know what language that is) and have them talk to her on your behalf, you should.

But you should definitely email her. And talk to her before class to make sure she understands.

 

[Princess Weeb]

trans kid in minor crisis here, please please please PM for help

I've been out at my university since the moment I stepped foot on it. I email my professors before every quarter and explain that my name isn't accurate on the roll sheet, and I need them to use my correct (chosen) name and my pronouns. This has gone smoothly, for the most part.

I have one professor who just ruined that.

I've been passing supremely well, better than I ever have. I haven't started hormones so this has mostly been due to continuous effort. But my peers have been using "he" with me. Until my professor used my given name and called me "she" in class.

Here's the catch:

I am almost 100% certain that this happened because of a language-barrier caused misunderstanding.

Her English is incredibly limited. How do I explain to her that effectively outting me to my peers is literally dangerous for me, without being a jerk about it? I understand that she didn't mean to, but my peers have been emailed a list where my name reflects my birth/given name and gender assigned at birth. At the very very least I'm going to have to answer some very uncomfortable questions tomorrow morning.

You can't report a teacher for not using your name/pronouns at my University until you correct them twice. (And I wouldn't want to report her in this case anyway because again, her English is incredibly limited and this was definitely a misunderstanding but still one very unfortunate and potentially dangerous)

I would go and tell another teacher, either one that you're close to or one that they're close to and see if they can talk to her about it. Teachers are friends, they talk about everything together really. It's likely that someone would correct her eventually if she ever spoke about you to them, and another adult is more likely to get your message across if I'm honest.

 

[Goth]

I support whatever choice anyone makes

 

[queertactics]

Thanks for everyone's help!! ! ! I havent decided what to do wuite yet but I really like the idea of telling another professor im closer to or getting someone who knows her langauge.

Im def safe and Im way less freaked out about it and thank you all again so muc!! ; v ;

 

[S-A-M]

Ugh there's a cute girl and I wanna ask her out but I'm pre sure she's straight

do it anyways.

 

[tamagotchi]

Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.

So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, really 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I know our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.

 

[Murray]

Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.

So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, really 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I know our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.

Sounds like your girlfriend is far more invested in your relationship than you are, so maybe you need to rethink your priorities involving your school 'friends' and what everyone might think

 

[radical6]

Sounds like your girlfriend is far more invested in your relationship than you are, so maybe you need to rethink your priorities involving your school 'friends' and what everyone might think

Well you have to take in account their area's attitude towards gay relationships. If they live in the south or in a heavily homophobic area, I would advise to not come out just in case of harassment. I'd say the safety of you two is far more important than coming out. Just be careful, y'know.

 

[Ashtot]

Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.

So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, really 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I know our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.

Honestly unless you really don't feel safe telling people, I would just make it known anyway. If your friends turn into haters then they weren't really your friends to begin with, and if people give you a hard time because of it, it just shows their ignorance. I know it can be hard to ignore haters and can suck to lose friends, but in the long run I think it's worth it. Telling people will reveal to you who your true friends are.

 

[Nerd]

Hey guys, so I'm back on here and I figured I'd see what you guys think of this article that Fox posted last month?

I'm not sure if it was discussed already, so I apologize ; n ;

but here, take a look.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/12/1...ells-13-year-olds-can-have-sex-choose-gender/

Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...

(this isn't against the rules is it? I was just worried that the whole topic of sex ed might be...so let me know if it is, but I was more focusing on, since this thread is specifically about LGBTQA, the parts about school teaching kids about gender and sexuality).

 

[Ashtot]

Hey guys, so I'm back on here and I figured I'd see what you guys think of this article that Fox posted last month?

I'm not sure if it was discussed already, so I apologize ; n ;

but here, take a look.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/12/1...ells-13-year-olds-can-have-sex-choose-gender/


Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...

(this isn't against the rules is it? I was just worried that the whole topic of sex ed might be...so let me know if it is, but I was more focusing on, since this thread is specifically about LGBTQA, the parts about school teaching kids about gender and sexuality).

What about the article made you upset?

 

[msgfaqs]

Personally, this made me extremely upset..the video especially...

I don't want to give Fox News any page hits, can you tell us what it says?

 

[queertactics]

Blagh, I haven't really visited this thread much, but I'm kinda' in a weird situation here, I guess? Hopefully this doesn't sound selfish.

So, uhm, my girlfriend thinks It's time to tell everyone that we're in a relationship together. I know that doesn't sound too bad, but, sadly, her family (Besides her parents/siblings. Well, her father isn't particularly 'happy' about it, but he supports us either way.) is really, really 'old fashion' and religious. She also thinks It's time we told our friends, which we've told a few already. The thing is, word gets around our school like a ****ing cheetah, and I know our friends like to gossip. I'm kind of scared to tell my friends, because I don't really know what I'd do without them. Plus, the people I'm stuck around are jerks. Seriously. Our school is really tiny, and a lot of the people are really religious and don't support this kind of stuff (Except my teacher. He ****in' rocks.), so I guess I'm kind of worried that everyone will hate us? Some people already know and have tried to pick on us, but that always ends up bad for both sides.
I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess I'm saying that I don't really want to tell people yet, but she's more than ready, but I don't want to disappoint her - but at the same time, I'm scared of what will happen.

idk friend

this is a major step in your relationship and if you aren't ready for it, i think your girlfriend needs to respect that.

but like i'm aromantic so my relationship advice is NULL AND VOID you dig ahahhahha

 

[PurplPanda]

Hi everyone. I'm just here because I need advice. My brother, who is 18, came out on New Year's Day as gay. Everyone is extremely supportive, and I'm happy for him. But, I am also gay. I am afraid that when I come out, everyone will blow it off and think that I'm copying him. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone had a similar situation?

 

[KarlaKGB]

Hi everyone. I'm just here because I need advice. My brother, who is 18, came out on New Year's Day as gay. Everyone is extremely supportive, and I'm happy for him. But, I am also gay. I am afraid that when I come out, everyone will blow it off and think that I'm copying him. Does anyone have any advice or has anyone had a similar situation?

y does it matter

is it a contest to see who gets the biggest reaction??

 

[PurplPanda]

y does it matter

is it a contest to see who gets the biggest reaction??

No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.

 

[Murray]

No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.

If you think that just give it a bit more time till you're more comfortable, maybe even talk to your brother about it

 

[Ashtot]

No... I just am afraid I won't be taken seriously.

If your brother knows you are then he can back you up.

 

[Nerd]

I don't want to give Fox News any page hits, can you tell us what it says?

Alright, so essentially the article is about a California school of children who are getting taught sex ed by Planned Parenthood. I now a lot of people probably have mixed opinions on that, but personally I think that what they're teaching the children is for the best. That is, especially, teaching them about gender and sexual orientation. I've always thought that the sex ed taught in school wasn't really that good, that a lot kids are shielded from things that schools think are "too inappropriate to teach".
The problem is that parents, mostly those that are more conservative and/or believe in abstinence before marriage, think that the way Planned Parenthood is teaching their children is a promotion of promiscuity.
//I think they're mostly angry because PP made a section on why abstinence programs don't work (and that's because some of them provide inaccurate misinformation).
(if you're interested in that stuff you can go on the Planned Parenthood website).

I know that Fox has these views, but it still made me really upset at 1am haha

This is an example of the stuff they're showing middle schoolers:

What about the article made you upset?

It was more the video that made me angry. I'm sure Fox is on the side of these parents, but the article itself is still more informational. If you watch the video on the page, they interview a man who continues to bash Planned Parenthood which makes me upset because I think PP is teaching teens the right way. And it's not like these kids are elementary school kids. My friend lost her virginity in middle school and all the kids told her so many weird stories and lies about the human body & whatnot. That's also when she came out as bisexual, and I'm sure she went through struggles finding out about herself and trying to fit in.
There ARE kids who are sexually active in middle school and I think it's good for them to be knowledgeable. I didn't really know a whole lot about consent when I was that age and I would have been able to prevent something from happening in my life if I had known it was okay to say no to someone close to you. I'm not gonna go into detail..but I think you know what I mean.

If your brother knows you are then he can back you up.

I was just gonna say this. Arrange so if they try to blow you off, you have your brother for support.

 

[msgfaqs]

Planned Parenthood is doing good work.
When I was in grade school in California I was just taught abstinence before marriage, basically. Which is not realistic for all or maybe even the majority of high schoolers.

Also teaching about gender other than just male = man and female = woman and teaching other orientations other than heterosexual is very important. So many people are ignorant about this stuff. People need to learn because even if they don't personally self identify as anything other than heterosexual and/or what they were assigned at birth, other people are different and deserving of respect. It isn't going to go away just because they don't learn about it.
Plus, parents who have learned about it before hand would be more likely to accept their children if they come out.

I would have loved to see the genderbread thing in grade school.

Annoying Fox News is annoying, lol.