LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Colour Bandit]

Hi, I know I've posted here before but I'm now in need of some advice... Recently I was helping one of my internet friends find some resources on Demisexuality as he is questioning and all that, but now that I've read into it I've started to question my sexuality. I do not feel any primary attraction to anyone, I just can't bring myself to imagine myself 'doing it' with people I don't really feel close enough to... I am in a sexual relationship with my boyfriend but I only felt comfortable with that recently and I've known him for 3 years but only started dating 2 years ago... I also had a time period were I felt sexually attracted to my female best friend of 6 years when I was 15, I felt very comfortable around her like I do with my current boyfriend, but I ignored it and never told my friend (This is the first time I've told anyone)... Apart from these two people I don't think I have ever been sexually attracted to anyone...

I don't know if it's just me being silly but after reading into Demisexuality I really don't think Heterosexual is the correct label for me. Can anyone help me?

 

[kite]

It doesn't sound silly. I can't describe you so easily since I don't really know you well enough... You know yourself best. But you have all the time to figure yourself out. If you think you are, I'd suggest reading up on it more to better understand it and be less confused about yourself.

 

[oath2order]

Demisexual is you only have sex if you feel emotional connected right?

 

[Colour Bandit]

Demisexual is you only have sex if you feel emotional connected right?

Sort of, there's nothing physically stopping a Demi from having sex with a stranger or someone they aren't emotionally connected with but generally they find it undesirable as they don't have the sexual attraction, whereas they only feel a sexual attraction with people they are emotionally connected to. I could be wrong but that's what the resources I'm looking at say...
Its generally described as the 'in between' of Heterosexual and Asexual.

EDIT: Here's a good definition of Demisexual:
"A person who does not experience sexual attraction based on physical characteristics, but may develop sexual attractions based on an emotional or mental connection with another person"

 

[Gracelia]

Just lurking as some of these posts keep me up to par with news (i.e. passing of laws and what not) of LGBTQA around the world.

I'm straight, but very open minded and supportive. I have a few close friends who are bi or homosexual (and one is still trying to figure it out for herself)~ I recently had a friend come to me for advice, since she was suspecting that her younger brother was gay. I gave her the best advice I could offer at the time ... and it went well except for when she said "if he is gay, I can't accept that. He wasn't raised this way," which really bothered me. Since she claims all over social media that she's very open, easy going and accepts everyone (oookay... >_>?). Ever since then, I haven't talked to her. Not sure how to approach this at all anymore.

Extra:
This is old (maybe 2-3 weeks?) but it's a vid with Anderson Cooper & Arizona State Senator (I think that's what he is?): Video here~. Just thought I'd share it and see what your thoughts were. I'm not very up to date, so not sure what has happened in AZ since this.

 

[Big Forum User]

I recently had a friend come to me for advice, since she was suspecting that her younger brother was gay. I gave her the best advice I could offer at the time ... and it went well except for when she said "if he is gay, I can't accept that. He wasn't raised this way," which really bothered me. Since she claims all over social media that she's very open, easy going and accepts everyone (oookay... >_>?). Ever since then, I haven't talked to her.

Seriously. That would bug me too. You don't decide you're gay, you're born gay. And her claiming that she's open is apparently a lie, it has to be.

 

[Gracelia]

Seriously. That would bug me too. You don't decide you're gay, you're born gay. And her claiming that she's open is apparently a lie, it has to be.

Yeah, right? That's what I thought. Honestly, I think she does it so she can gain more viewership and likeliness from people (she's a Youtuber). It was very frustrating to even talk to her and still to this day, I see her swearing and everything in posts about these anti-gay laws and what not. It's just wrong on her part. I just don't understand why. I don't think it's in my place to speak to her brother about it (since I know him), but I feel bad for him since he's basically told me he can confide in her and believes she will support him no matter what he does (he hasn't officially come out, that is, if he was gay as she suspects).

 

[TheCreeperHugz]

Urgh, this is why I hate some of the people at my school...

There is a boy at my school who posted on Facebook a few days ago, coming out as being bisexual. Which is all well and fine, but then today when someone mentioned it at school, he denied being no, and told everyone, "Ew, no, I wouldn't dare! Being bi is disgusting, I can't stand people who decide they are!"

He is the disgusting one. People don't choose to be bisexual, and there is nothing wrong with being bisexual in the first place. This boy has always been known for being a ****, but he's never came out with anything as bad as this before...

 

[Jas0n]

So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.

 

[Princess Weeb]

So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.

I will never understand people who treat others like crap because of something that doesn't concern them. It's so ridiculous.

As referenced to in a few posts above, I don't understand when family or parents do it, especially. Like, you created and carried a child for 9 months, raised it for what, well over 10 years through the ups and downs of their developing life and then you disown them because you dislike their sexuality? What?

I don't even.. I really don't get it.

And friends too? Do people not understand the level of bravery it takes to come out to people? erGH LIFE NYAH

 

[Gizmodo]

Eurgh im so stressed out today

 

[Princess Weeb]

Eurgh im so stressed out today

If you need any help you can always pm me again <3 ^_^

 

[Gizmodo]

If you need any help you can always pm me again <3 ^_^

Ty i probably will ^^

 

[Princess Weeb]

oh ye I remembered what I was going to say

idk if anyone has had this/finds it ridiculously irritating but when I came out (idk like 3 years ago?) to people at my school (I say I came out, my "Best friend" told everyone about it and made me look like I was a freak) I was the first person in pretty much my own and the two years above/below me to come out and I got a ridiculous amount of abuse. I couldn't do anything online without getting spams of hate for no reason, I was spat on, called horrible names, got death threats and was pretty much assaulted by older students. (I'm about 5"8 and they were at least 6"2 "rugby lads")

I honestly don't give a crap now, because that meant everyone after me got a better coming out experience. But what I detest is the fact that the same people who were throwing abuse and death threats at me are now "praising the gays" because one of the popular guys came out.

Thankfully this site has a swearing limit but I don't think they understand how weryetrehtduhfdf

ERGH PEOPLE

- - - Post Merge - - -

Ty i probably will ^^

Okies :3

 

[kite]

oh ye I remembered what I was going to say

idk if anyone has had this/finds it ridiculously irritating but when I came out (idk like 3 years ago?) to people at my school (I say I came out, my "Best friend" told everyone about it and made me look like I was a freak) I was the first person in pretty much my own and the two years above/below me to come out and I got a ridiculous amount of abuse. I couldn't do anything online without getting spams of hate for no reason, I was spat on, called horrible names, got death threats and was pretty much assaulted by older students. (I'm about 5"8 and they were at least 6"2 "rugby lads")

I honestly don't give a crap now, because that meant everyone after me got a better coming out experience. But what I detest is the fact that the same people who were throwing abuse and death threats at me are now "praising the gays" because one of the popular guys came out.

Thankfully this site has a swearing limit but I don't think they understand how weryetrehtduhfdf

Even though you had to take the blunt of it, I'm glad others who also came out didn't have it as hard as you did.

And it sucks that the people who came after you are just taking advantage of whatever circumstances will make them appear good. But well... you know, people who are so afraid to be judged are often so judgmental of others themselves. People with that kind of mindset are highly impressionable, so maybe with the right nudges, they'd be less likely to act out on hate less. The popular guy that came out has that kind of influence, probably. If he's aware of it.

 

[Gracelia]

So my boyfriend's neighbour is apparently displeased with his decision to be dating me because of my gender. Really irritates me that his reputation in his village is being tarnished just because we're in a gay relationship and somebody's unwilling to be open-minded.

Wow I'm really sorry to hear. I know how that unfolds since my friend experienced the same. It got so bad she moved :/. As if your relationship is so life-changing and has so many implications on that neighbours life... like really @_@. What a shame on the neighbours part.

 

[MayorMariana]

My parents are homophobic and I'm bisexual :[ I don't know what to do....Does anyone else have homophobic parents? How did you come out to them?

 

[sn0wxyuki]

I have a friend who is gay. I don't discriminate him when I knew about it, in fact I accept him openly like a best friend, sister.

Until he start acting weird (yea to the boys not girl), molesting them secretly and he even told me about him getting desperate for love (oh yea love?), and cause we live together, one of my other friend caught him watching porn in the middle of the night, but that's okay for us. Not until he start going around touching all the boys (all the complaint came to me urghh...) and I keep a distance from there. Sometimes this make me feel guilty like I actually start to discriminate him but I don't...if he don't go around doing that ><

But tbh, I certainly don't see anything wrong for the same gender relationship, except I maybe couldn't accept this if it happen in my own family, but well, if things do happen we have to respect their choice of decision.

 

[radical6]

i am not demisexual sooo uh. remember you can still be demisexual and still be het. idk tbh maybe you are? you can try seeking a support blogs for demisexuals and talk to them about it.

also giz if u need to talk im open!

 

[Colour Bandit]

i am not demisexual sooo uh. remember you can still be demisexual and still be het. idk tbh maybe you are? you can try seeking a support blogs for demisexuals and talk to them about it.

I had a chat with some other demisexuals last night about my feelings and then the demis can be hets and a lot disagreed. I told them about my experience with starting to feel sexually attracted to my female best friend (before I started seeing my boyfriend) and they said that's normal as we aren't sexually attracted to physical features but instead we are attracted due to the emotional bond and as such don't always discriminate between male and female. So, as I was told firmly by a lot of demis I spoke to, demis are not just hets or bi, we have our own label and don't need to be lumped with a sexualities we don't identify as but then there are some demis that also identify as hets, but that is who they are an they can use whatever labels they want.

That's why I just can't label myself as het anymore, because I can be attracted to males and females as long as there is an emotional bond, though to better explain it I would add that I consider myself a Bi-romantic Demisexual. Speaking to other demis and getting their 'approval' to use the label has really helped me accept that I am Demisexual and I hope that others (my family, irl and online friends and my boyfriend) can accept that...