LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Sunblink]

In my opinion, I'd suggest working on your anxiety issues before you figure out your sexuality. I mean, from the looks of it, anxiety has affected your past relationships, and from what it looks like to me, it's probbly not been for the better. I'd definitely recommend working on anxiety and then trying to figure out your sexuality.

It's definitely not been for the better. I'm not sure I'll ever be in a relationship again, and I'm significantly happier that way. I don't want to drag another heterosexual guy into a relationship with me and end up dealing with them expecting something from me that I may not ever be comfortable giving. All of what you said are good points, but considering all these problems suddenly emerged when I was in a relationship with somebody, I don't know if I can address it without subjecting myself to the same problems over again.

Hindsight is 50/50, but emotions are difficult

 

[Princess Weeb]

Thank you for listening to me omg ^^

It's okay bbe
I hope everything goes/went okay though! ^_^

 

[Big Forum User]

I support it, but here's a conversation I had today:

Frenemy: *quietly* Um... I wanted to tell you, someone told me your sister is a lesbian.
Me: Ummm... that's probably because she is. There's nothing wrong with it.

 

[radical6]

snip

hmmm yeah i dont think its right they get laughed at. some dont mind if otherkin were included with the LGBT community but i know others who would be really pissed off if they joined.

i mean you can have an opinion but your voice shouldn't speak over others. when i meant cis people cant have an opinion i mostly meant cis people laughing at the nonbinary pronouns. or saying how they felt as if the pronouns were silly or too much. that is not their place to judge.

i use ve pronouns and they/them. i don't expect people to use ve pronouns so most of the time people (try) to use they/them for me which is okay, i don't mind.

well i think its kinda wrong that you're saying we have to set on certain pronouns. there are many genders outside the binary and all their genders are different. i get that it might be confusing for you but it doesn't take a while to get hold of someone's preferred pronouns if you try hard enough. if we forced everyone to use one type of pronouns (for example ve pronouns) they would eventually feel like ve pronouns were apart of the gender binary. (being forced to use she, he, they, or ve) so yeah.

I support it, but here's a conversation I had today:

Frenemy: *quietly* Um... I wanted to tell you, someone told me your sister is a lesbian.
Me: Ummm... that's probably because she is. There's nothing wrong with it.

whenever people do that i laugh because you think lesbian/gay/bi/pan/etc people are rare species or something? is that a big shock to you? my friends would gasp or yell "THEYRE GAY???" if anyone ever talked about a gay/lesbian/bi/pan/etc couple. it pisses me off so much

 

[oath2order]

hmmm yeah i dont think its right they get laughed at. some dont mind if otherkin were included with the LGBT community but i know others who would be really pissed off if they joined.

i mean you can have an opinion but your voice shouldn't speak over others. when i meant cis people cant have an opinion i mostly meant cis people laughing at the nonbinary pronouns. or saying how they felt as if the pronouns were silly or too much. that is not their place to judge.

i use ve pronouns and they/them. i don't expect people to use ve pronouns so most of the time people (try) to use they/them for me which is okay, i don't mind.

well i think its kinda wrong that you're saying we have to set on certain pronouns. there are many genders outside the binary and all their genders are different. i get that it might be confusing for you but it doesn't take a while to get hold of someone's preferred pronouns if you try hard enough. if we forced everyone to use one type of pronouns (for example ve pronouns) they would eventually feel like ve pronouns were apart of the gender binary. (being forced to use she, he, they, or ve) so yeah.

Well, what I'm saying is, some languages have the three genders: He, she, non-gender-but-still-relating-to-a-person. I wish we had it in English.

 

[radical6]

Well, what I'm saying is, some languages have the three genders: He, she, non-gender-but-still-relating-to-a-person. I wish we had it in English.

oh. isnt that they/them pronouns?

 

[radical6]

do you guys think qu**r is a slur? (censoring it since just in case it makes people uncomfortable)

idk i heard it used as a slur once but it's not a slur here. i was kinda shocked when people told me it was a slur and makes people uncomfortable. i remember people were upset at other people for using it as a blanket term
for example
"all qu**r people are wonderful"
basically they didnt want to be referred to with the word qu**r. but at the same time i feel as if the community has kinda reclaimed it?? i mean the people upset by the word qu**r said its okay if you use it for yourself but you shouldn't force it on others. i guess its kinda like lesbian people reclaiming the word d*ke and gay people reclaiming the word f*gg*t. they can use it on themselves if they really want to but they shouldn't refer to other lesbians and gay people with it. idk if this make sense??

but i feel like qu**r is a different word than those 2. but idk.

 

[oath2order]

I thought it was a slur in like the 70s or something.

But now I thought we re-adopted it like black people re-adopted the n word.

LGBTQA where Q is Questioning/Queer

 

[Ricano]

I don't know if it's possible but I've gone from being bi, to gay as I've grown older. It must be possible right? Lol
I haven't outed myself to any of my family members. Some of them are extremely conservative, and I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have with them by outing myself. It sucks, but I think out of my whole family, my two sisters might accept me, and even them I'm afraid of telling. TBT, wat do? :/ Any advice you lovely people can give to me, is extremely appreciated.

 

[Flop]

It's wonderful to know there's a community like this who supports this <3 Especially since I live in a state full of prejudiced, racist, homophobic rednecks. I don't chat on here much, but that's because I'm at a loss of words to say. c: I don't want to be projected as a homophobic, straight male though, as it seems that I am the minority on here ;-;


#Gayfriends>boringstraightfriends

 

[Superpenguin]

The same-sex marriage trial has begun in Michigan today.
It will be at most two weeks long.

 

[Princess Weeb]

do you guys think qu**r is a slur? (censoring it since just in case it makes people uncomfortable)

idk i heard it used as a slur once but it's not a slur here. i was kinda shocked when people told me it was a slur and makes people uncomfortable. i remember people were upset at other people for using it as a blanket term
for example
"all qu**r people are wonderful"
basically they didnt want to be referred to with the word qu**r. but at the same time i feel as if the community has kinda reclaimed it?? i mean the people upset by the word qu**r said its okay if you use it for yourself but you shouldn't force it on others. i guess its kinda like lesbian people reclaiming the word d*ke and gay people reclaiming the word f*gg*t. they can use it on themselves if they really want to but they shouldn't refer to other lesbians and gay people with it. idk if this make sense??

but i feel like qu**r is a different word than those 2. but idk.

Depends how you use it, as with the word gay.
It's really unfortunate that people warp perfectly harmless and positive words to mean bad things ffs.

 

[Flop]

Yeah, like "That's so gay." CISGRUFGSVDGCYDHSUDUCGSGSG -__-

 

[radical6]

mhm i guess? but gay really isnt a slur. yeah sometimes ppl use it as an insult but i dont think its as hurtful as the other one. idk like gay guys cant really avoid not being called gay? (they could use androsexual which means you like men but this is usually for nonbinary people unless you use the other definition where you're attracted to masculine people regardless of gender) where as lesbian/bi/pan/gay people don't have to be called qu**r. mhm like i really want to use it sometimes just so i can talk about every qu**r person but people just had to go make it a slur smh.

I don't know if it's possible but I've gone from being bi, to gay as I've grown older. It must be possible right? Lol
I haven't outed myself to any of my family members. Some of them are extremely conservative, and I wouldn't want to lose the relationship I have with them by outing myself. It sucks, but I think out of my whole family, my two sisters might accept me, and even them I'm afraid of telling. TBT, wat do? :/ Any advice you lovely people can give to me, is extremely appreciated.

thats fine. tbh im not sure of my sexuality right now as ive switched from pan to androsexual (i like masculine people regardless of gender, though i think i just might be pan because yeah)

hmmm do you still live with your family? if you do dont do it. i know it hurts to lie to your family but tbh if you still live with them do not tell them anything. if you dont live with them anymore i guess you should maybe only tell a few members? tell your two sisters maybe? tell them not to peep a word. maybe if you're ever over at their house change the channel to something about gay marriage and see how they react? but if you feel unsafe right now then i wouldn't do it. i would at least try to get them to talk about it so you have an idea on how strongly theyre against it. (maybe theyre hesitant and you can change their mind)

do whatever feels safe to you. being in the closet is okay. don't put yourself in danger. if you feel as if they will never change their minds, then i dont know what to tell you. i probably wouldve dropped them a long time ago if they cant accept who you are.

 

[Joonbug]

Not sure what conversations are going on right now but this seems like the correct thread to complain about this. I have just had the great pleasure of finding out that the man my mother is dating, who I already knew as an idiot, racist, smoker (I have asthma and a strong and long family history of lung cancers, heart conditions, and diabetes, which I'm showing signs of, so second hand smoke can and probably will literally kill me), is also the disgusting kind of human being who thinks that being gay or anything related makes you wrong, worth less, and not supposed to have the rights that other people have. I am bi-sexual/pan sexual (i have an issue with the separation of the terms but that's me having issues), and my mother is willing to be with someone who thinks that I am not right, that I am less deserving, that I am less human than other people because I'm not straight. How can a parent do that? And how can she look at me when I'm shaking (I'm literally shaking) with pure moral anger and tell me I'm overreacting? It's disgusting.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And now I'm crying when I'm supposed to be taking a test. Just marvelous.

 

[radical6]

Not sure what conversations are going on right now but this seems like the correct thread to complain about this. I have just had the great pleasure of finding out that the man my mother is dating, who I already knew as an idiot, racist, smoker (I have asthma and a strong and long family history of lung cancers, heart conditions, and diabetes, which I'm showing signs of, so second hand smoke can and probably will literally kill me), is also the disgusting kind of human being who thinks that being gay or anything related makes you wrong, worth less, and not supposed to have the rights that other people have. I am bi-sexual/pan sexual (i have an issue with the separation of the terms but that's me having issues), and my mother is willing to be with someone who thinks that I am not right, that I am less deserving, that I am less human than other people because I'm not straight. How can a parent do that? And how can she look at me when I'm shaking (I'm literally shaking) with pure moral anger and tell me I'm overreacting? It's disgusting.

- - - Post Merge - - -

And now I'm crying when I'm supposed to be taking a test. Just marvelous.

you are not overreacting. these are your feelings and your mother isn't respecting them. he sounds like a pathetic loser. im sorry but your mother chose a terrible guy. (a smoker, a racist, and a homophobe? he sounds sweet) tbh if i was a mom my children would come first before some loser. do you live with your mother? does he know you're bi/pan? does your mom usually date people for long?? (sorry if this sounds weird) i hope it's just a short time thing for you. if he knows you're bi/pan then i would stay far away from him. he sounds like garbage, im sorry. your mother isn't being considerate of your feelings and doesn't care about your health and well being. she should be placing her child above a homophobe. if you live with your mother i would try to stay out of the house as long as possible if you can i guess. (am i reading too much into this?? idk is he living with u guys now??) but your feelings are valid and you arent overreacting.

 

[Joonbug]

you are not overreacting. these are your feelings and your mother isn't respecting them. he sounds like a pathetic loser. im sorry but your mother chose a terrible guy. (a smoker, a racist, and a homophobe? he sounds sweet) tbh if i was a mom my children would come first before some loser. do you live with your mother? does he know you're bi/pan? does your mom usually date people for long?? (sorry if this sounds weird) i hope it's just a short time thing for you. if he knows you're bi/pan then i would stay far away from him. he sounds like garbage, im sorry. your mother isn't being considerate of your feelings and doesn't care about your health and well being. she should be placing her child above a homophobe. if you live with your mother i would try to stay out of the house as long as possible if you can i guess. (am i reading too much into this?? idk is he living with u guys now??) but your feelings are valid and you arent overreacting.

I do live with her, and she basically has him living here now too. I don't know how she wouldn't know that I am but because it apparently might be possible that hearing me talk about which girls I think are attractive and talking about gay rights and everything wasn't enough to get it through her head I guess I'll have to say it flat out tomorrow. She hasn't been dating him for long, but he's here every night of the week even if I ask her repeatedly and nicely for hi not to be and she says she cares about my feelings and that he won't be. He doesn't know I am, but that shouldn't excuse his behavior, and she always picks men like this. My brother's dad was and still is **** to her, my dad was **** to all three of us, after that she brought home a 20-something year old drug addict to live with us, and then this guy. She spends all this time seeing how upset I am and saying that she knows gay people are just as human and right as anyone but then she does this.

- - - Post Merge - - -

She drives around with a human rights campaign sticker on her car and has sex with a guy like that and I just can't accept that and say she's a good person anymore.

 

[radical6]

I do live with her, and she basically has him living here now too. I don't know how she wouldn't know that I am but because it apparently might be possible that hearing me talk about which girls I think are attractive and talking about gay rights and everything wasn't enough to get it through her head I guess I'll have to say it flat out tomorrow. She hasn't been dating him for long, but he's here every night of the week even if I ask her repeatedly and nicely for hi not to be and she says she cares about my feelings and that he won't be. He doesn't know I am, but that shouldn't excuse his behavior, and she always picks men like this. My brother's dad was and still is **** to her, my dad was **** to all three of us, after that she brought home a 20-something year old drug addict to live with us, and then this guy. She spends all this time seeing how upset I am and saying that she knows gay people are just as human and right as anyone but then she does this.

hmm well can your mom go meet him somewhere else rather than having him come over? theres really nothing good about this guy so i dont know why shes keeping him even though you told her that hes gross and is homophobic. but yeah just flat out say it to your mother. (does she really support gay rights if shes dating a homophobe omg..)

heres hoping that they break up because he sounds nasty and you shouldn't have to put up with this

uhh once this relationship ends with this guy i would probably tell your mom to slow down because she doesn't need to date someone to be happy.i mean you cant really stop her but if shes bringing people like this then yeah..

 

[Joonbug]

hmm well can your mom go meet him somewhere else rather than having him come over? theres really nothing good about this guy so i dont know why shes keeping him even though you told her that hes gross and is homophobic. but yeah just flat out say it to your mother. (does she really support gay rights if shes dating a homophobe omg..)

heres hoping that they break up because he sounds nasty and you shouldn't have to put up with this

uhh once this relationship ends with this guy i would probably tell your mom to slow down because she doesn't need to date someone to be happy.i mean you cant really stop her but if shes bringing people like this then yeah..

That's what I asked her, to go somewhere else, but she just says i don't want her to be happy. And the worst part is she heard him saying this stuff. She can't even say she doesn't believe me, because she was here. And she probably won't break up with him. But I can hope.

Thanks for dealing with my freak out.

 

[Ricano]

mhm i guess? but gay really isnt a slur. yeah sometimes ppl use it as an insult but i dont think its as hurtful as the other one. idk like gay guys cant really avoid not being called gay? (they could use androsexual which means you like men but this is usually for nonbinary people unless you use the other definition where you're attracted to masculine people regardless of gender) where as lesbian/bi/pan/gay people don't have to be called qu**r. mhm like i really want to use it sometimes just so i can talk about every qu**r person but people just had to go make it a slur smh.


thats fine. tbh im not sure of my sexuality right now as ive switched from pan to androsexual (i like masculine people regardless of gender, though i think i just might be pan because yeah)

hmmm do you still live with your family? if you do dont do it. i know it hurts to lie to your family but tbh if you still live with them do not tell them anything. if you dont live with them anymore i guess you should maybe only tell a few members? tell your two sisters maybe? tell them not to peep a word. maybe if you're ever over at their house change the channel to something about gay marriage and see how they react? but if you feel unsafe right now then i wouldn't do it. i would at least try to get them to talk about it so you have an idea on how strongly theyre against it. (maybe theyre hesitant and you can change their mind)

do whatever feels safe to you. being in the closet is okay. don't put yourself in danger. if you feel as if they will never change their minds, then i dont know what to tell you. i probably wouldve dropped them a long time ago if they cant accept who you are.

You're right. I think it's better to be safe than sorry.
Sucks that some people have to take these kinds of things with them to their grave, as morbid as that sounds. D=
Thanks for the advice!

That's what I asked her, to go somewhere else, but she just says i don't want her to be happy. And the worst part is she heard him saying this stuff. She can't even say she doesn't believe me, because she was here. And she probably won't break up with him. But I can hope.

Thanks for dealing with my freak out.

She's torn between two people she loves, and yet doesn't see the most obvious person she should understand and love, is you.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with someone as awful as the man your mother is dating, and that she cannot accept who you are. I'll be hoping that she disposes of the trash, and has a hopeful change of outlook in the future.