LGBTQA - Discussion and support.

[Sir Takoya]

I thought I was the only one.
---

Anyways I am really upset with my mother right now.

I told her I was bi.
She was like nah your not a "gay."
I said yea I am.
She then asked me if some girls make me feel the way some guys do,
I was like yeah.
She was clam cool and acted like she did not care.
She told me not to act on those feeling for females
I wanted to tell at her and be like ***** I wanna love is love.
But I said suure mommy.
Did I handle this correctly?? I am kinda feeling hurt..
Not to mention that I was talking to one of my BFFs the other day, saying if I was bi or lesbian would we still be friends? She told me no. I thought I was going to cry. She asked me if I was just "messing" around I lied and said yes. I don't wanna lose my friends. {I asked all of them} but one of my other friends Maggie. Is bi herself. I have the biggest crush on her ; u ; she would be my only friend if I told them. I think it's best to live in a lie at this point.. What should I do..

If they don't want to be friends with you because you're bi, then they're not your friends.

 

[Clara Oswald]

If they don't want to be friends with you because you're bi, then they're not your friends.

I 100% agree! I'm lucky that my friends are supportive and understanding about things like this so I know if I ever choose to come out that I will be accepted. I don't plan on it though as I'm a secretive person and I prefer to face my problems alone which is kinda stupid but oh well. I would ask your bi friend for any tips on how to be accepted and you never know she may like you too

 

[quinnator]

im a transman B)

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

im a transman B)

What a coincidence - so am I.

 

[Clara Oswald]

I have a question:

Does being a transgender man mean the gender you were assigned at birth is male or is it that the gender you were assigned is female but you identify as male?
It's a stupid question I know and I hope I don't offend anyone or anything

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

I have a question:

Does being a transgender man mean the gender you were assigned at birth is male or is it that the gender you were assigned is female but you identify as male?
It's a stupid question I know and I hope I don't offend anyone or anything

The gender following "trans" is always the persons identity, so trans men were assigned female at birth.

 

[Clara Oswald]

The gender following "trans" is always the persons identity, so trans men were assigned female at birth.

Ah thank you

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

Ah thank you

Though you'll probably have to use your head on some occasions..

Most cis people still don't accept trans genders as legit, so when a DFAB person says that they're a man, cis people will still use "trans", but instead say "woman", because they have the belief that you're whatever you're assigned at birth. (this is especially true for trans women - I can pretty much guarantee you that if you ever hear someone talking about a "transgender man" on the News or in an article, 99% of the time they're actually referring to a trans woman - they just refuse to see her as such)

 

[Clara Oswald]

Though you'll probably have to use your head on some occasions..

Most cis people still don't accept trans genders as legit, so when a DFAB person says that they're a man, cis people will still use "trans", but instead say "woman", because they have the belief that you're whatever you're assigned at birth. (this is especially true for trans women - I can pretty much guarantee you that if you ever hear someone talking about a "transgender man" on the News or in an article, 99% of the time they're actually referring to a trans woman - they just refuse to see her as such)

Ah ok, thank you for all the info, it was really helpful

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

Ah ok, thank you for all the info, it was really helpful

You're welcome.

 

[4A-GZE]

I personally believe that both gender and sexual orientation are social constructs and don't actually exist. Genitalia plays a role in physical attraction only as much as size, physique, race, and pretty much anything else, but we're taught that it's the most important thing and that it makes up two incredibly major parts of who we are. You might disagree with me, but I truly believe that we're all just humans who are just attracted to other humans, and no specific detail can make all of the difference.

 

[radical6]

How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol

My opinion:

I don't think it's a real thing. Straight people have "straight privilege" over both gay and - as you put it - polysexual people, and heterosexual is a monosexual orientation. So it'd be pretty pointless to apply the term to straight people, because they're practically the same thing.

As for homosexual people... I've definitely seen a lot of "bisexuality isn't real - you're either gay or straight" coming from them, as well as believing in the stereotype that we're just attention seekers. (in addition to other B/P stereotypes)
So the G and L in LGBT+ definitely seem to have an issue with the B/P community.


I can see how someone can think G and L people have a privilege, though - after all, they don't have to deal with the stereotypes that come with being B/P.
But then again, gay men don't have to deal with lesbian stereotypes, and vice versa for lesbian women - so does that mean L's have privilege over G's, and G's over L's?

In my opinion, the answer to that is "No". And the same goes for "monosexual privilege" - I don't believe it exists.

 

[Lady Timpani]

How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol

Yeah, I don't really agree with the whole concept of monosexual privilege. One of my biggest problems with it is that it further segregates queer people, especially bi/pan and lesbian women. I see a lot of lesbians say "all bi women are ____" and bi women say "lesbians are ____" instead of trying to be a community. Lesbians and gay men certainly have more visibility than bi/pan people, but I don't think that's a privilege, per se, especially when some of that visibility revolves around negative stereotypes and the like.

I think another of my biggest pet peeves with monosexual privilege is that some straight people have taken to "calling out" gay people under the guise of them trying to fight monosexual privilege when they're really just harassing gay people for being gay.

 

[remiaphasia]

I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that there is such a thing as monosexual privilege, but there is a great deal of biphobia in the LGBT community that continually goes unaddressed, or is deemed unimportant by a lot of people. It can be tough to feel like you're a part of the community when you're harassed and ostracized by gay and straight people alike, and this is the experience of many bisexual/pansexual people.

 

[katsuragi]

How do you guys feel about "monosexual privilege"?
I'm pan and yes I face homophobia differently from monosexual people. (People attracted to one gender). However it's not a privilege. Yes, a lot of lesbian women and gay men look down a lot on pan/bi/poly people. But they don't benefit from polyphobia. (idk if thats the term but basically its homophobia against pan/bi/poly people). I think sometimes people on tumblr do a really bad job at analyzing class and privilege. Lesbian women and gay men have no more power than a pan/bi/poly person. I do think that biphobia/polyphobia/panphobia/whateverthecatchalltermforthisis is a really big problem in the L and G community. There are groups of lesbian women who put down bisexual women for dating men. They mock them and think they're just seeking attention. So yes the L and G community can contribute to homophobia against polysexual people, but they are not the main people doing it if that makes sense. but idk monosexual privilege is bs lol

i don't think monosexuality is a privilege, gay (cisgender) men are often placed above lesbians and trans gay man in the sense of recognition and respect (for example, lesbian women are constantly related to fetishism) but that's an entirely different situation.

i guess the idea of monosexual privilege is something that further segregates the lgbtq+ community, and it's not really something that exists.

 

[sylveons]

yo, pansexual/genderfluid person here B)

 

[Brackets]

I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.

 

[Mephisto Pheles]

I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.

If you feel like you want people to know, tell them. If not, don't - no one is obligated to be "out", so you should just do whatever you feel most comfortable with.

 

[Lady Timpani]

I'm just wondering - what do you guys thinking of 'coming out' as bisexual? I sort of want to do it but then again I'm not sure what the point is, unless I actually go out with a woman soon. I just think it might be a bit awkward/pointless if I come out, but then only happen to go out with men. Should I wait until I think I might date a girl soon? Or would it be better to fully tell people who I am? (I hope this makes sense)
Btw I've had two boyfriends but am recently single so I've been thinking about this more and more.

I think, like Mephisto said, you should do whatever you want. Being bi doesn't depend on your dating a girl, so if you think people might discredit you because of that, you may want to avoid telling them. But if you feel like there are people that should know/ you would be more comfortable with them knowing, then I don't see any harm in telling them. Whatever you decide, I wish you luck.