Original text flavor submitted due to grave template being too small for this monster in particular:
Name: Karen (
molestus mulier)
Description: Beasts resembling middle-aged white women, the species
molestus mulier are commonly referred to as "Karens". Karens are native to the American suburbs, but have been reported to venture out of their dwellings in search of sustenance; their diet mainly consisting of box wine, prescription pills, and Starbucks coffee. Many scientists theorize that Karens are social animals, as they most often appear in high populated areas such as grocery stores, restaurants, and parking lots. Some even speculate that Karens are eusocial, actively seeking members of high authority, known as "managers," and belittling those of a lower caste. Karens are documented to have some degree of intelligence, capable of using the Internet and calling for authority, but remain less intelligent than that of the average human. Although obnoxiously loud, Karens are generally harmless and possess little physical strength. Be warned, though, as Karens have been known to leave negative reviews on Yelp and can even call the police when feeling threatened. Proceed with caution when encountering this creature and videotape the entire interaction for further research.