On being fatphobic

[Suguri]

So I've returned to this thread after almost a week and was surprised to see this unfold into a discussion. Actually, I've been keeping up with all these posts here for a while, lol.

I made this thread to vent about some students in my high school. I wasn't very fond of my classmates, to begin with, as they tended to do things that still leave an awful taste in my mouth to this day. But when I overheard the conversation during break last Thursday, I wasn't sure what to make of it. I knew what they said sounded wrong; it annoyed and distracted me while I was trying to finish some work. But I felt conflicted, and I wanted to know: was it, really?

From what I've seen here, it was after all. I think the consensus here is that we can strive to be better (or healthy on the topic of bodies), but there are some things about ourselves that we simply cannot change at all. As an example, I am on the autism spectrum and there is no cure for it. That's why more people who are different and stigmatized are advocating (and should continue to advocate) for acceptance in society.

About TikTok: I won’t say too much about it, but I was also pretty wary of the video itself as that platform already has a bad rep. I agree with what @/Chris said though. When well-intentioned activism turns violent, we’re in big trouble.

It’s very unusual for me to create a thread about topics like this one, but it had to be done. If not, I would’ve gotten stressed about it for a long time. Thank you all for providing your input, it truly means a lot to me. :)

I love you all for speaking your mind and being open about your own situations and experiences! I mean... literally, I love you!

In the previous posts, I have seen a couple of comments that say, basically, they are holding back.

Go ahead and elaborate... post your essays... this is very meaningful stuff!

Haha, I couldn't have said it better!

 

[QueenCobra]

Also wanted to say…I’m sure many others have expressed this, but openly discriminating against people for their weight is seen as more “acceptable” by a lot of people, compared to racism, homophobia, etc. as weight is viewed as a “choice.” (I don’t agree with this. It’s the reasoning a lot of people use.)

I also hate how people are like, “don’t be rude about their weight— they have a medical condition/overeat due to trauma, etc..”
Like…you don’t need a tragic reason to be nice. Whether someone has one or not, it’s none of your business. You don’t owe anyone your medical history to be treated fairly.

 

[seliph]

Also wanted to say…I’m sure many others have expressed this, but openly discriminating against people for their weight is seen as more “acceptable” by a lot of people, compared to racism, homophobia, etc. as weight is viewed as a “choice.” (I don’t agree with this. It’s the reasoning a lot of people use.)

I also hate how people are like, “don’t be rude about their weight— they have a medical condition/overeat due to trauma, etc..”
Like…you don’t need a tragic reason to be nice. Whether someone has one or not, it’s none of your business. You don’t owe anyone your medical history to be treated fairly.

I know this was well intended but I really don't think we should put the idea out there that being fatphobic is seen as more acceptable than being homophobic or racist, especially considering our rights pretty much depend on what politician is elected at the given moment

 

[QueenCobra]

I know this was well intended but I really don't think we should put the idea out there that being fatphobic is seen as more acceptable than being homophobic or racist, especially considering our rights pretty much depend on what politician is elected at the given moment

Thank you for pointing that out. I will definitely be more careful with what I say.

 

[rocketspruggs]

I remember there was this one time where my church played a video a few years ago where there was a mom who fat-shamed her young daughter at a store, and there was a guy who called the mom out for it, and I was thinking, "yeah, preach it, dude!"

Fat-shaming sucks.

 

[Mr_Keroppi]

People really need to be more conscious on how they treat other people in general. I think that someone's size is a topic that is OFF LIMITS. I find it incredibly disrespectful and ignorant of people to make weight-based comments. You never know when someone has gone through an eating disorder or trauma.... I also think its harmful to perpetuate this "skinniness" and "obesity." Body positivity and gradual goal-based progress is at its core, a positive stepping stone into a healthier lifestyle but when people settle and try to normalize weight gain or loss to the point of health issues.... that's just wrong.

edit: fixed and added my response -3/18/25

 

[chocovelvetcake]

When me and my younger sister were kids, I used to constantly fat shame her. I don't really remember much of it, as most of it happened when I was a little girl.

She was overweight and had asthma, but she managed to lose some weight and no longer had to deal with asthma problems. With all that fat shaming I was doing to her, I'm surprised she didn't develop any eating disorders. To this day, I still feel like an evil ***** for fat shaming my own sister, even though I apologized to her and she forgave me.

Ironically, I would and still do to this day also fat shame myself despite not even being "fat." I'm considered to be overweight according to my BMI, despite losing some weight and not eating as much sweets as I used to. I find myself constantly fat shaming myself and calling myself all sorts of names referring to my weight. If I saw anyone thinner than me (online or irl) I would start feeling jealous of them and wish I was as skinny as them. Mind you, I don't have any medical conditions that affects my weight. I'm at a healthy weight, but I still feel like I'm fat.

 

[Romaki]

I'm fat and that's my responsibility.

Walmart, and any other store, can carry whatever clothes they want. I lost enough weight that I can pick up the L/XL version of regular clothes, but the store I prefer to buy my clothes as also has a dedicated plus-size section. It's a smaller part of the store, but it also serves a smaller part of the customers.

There should be no morality behind what someone chooses to eat which leads to the mass their body has, but I also can't "accept" avoidable health issues. I really don't want to hate on people for hating a bigger body, and I would never disrespect my friends and family who are bigger, but it's really just a health issue you have to take care of. I want to see people improve their health.

Losing weight is simple (calories in, calories out), but any eating disorder comes from a difficult place. Nobody WANTS to be that big, even if social media and freaks makes them think this way momentarily. You don't feel good eating that much, physically or mentally.

I lost over 70 kgs and I'm still obese. At my highest weight I could not fit into regular chairs and had to have arm rests removed. It's very embarassing, but you really do live in a constant state of denial. One thing that didn't help me is being called out for my weight or being bullied in public. I didn't feel like "a fat person" and I don't feel like it now. I just feel like me and shaming me just hurt my soul. It couldn't have changed my pattern of behaviour. My health journey didn't start until my therapist gently brought it up to me, but more importantly I needed the information on how to lose weight. If I just had to eat salads and foods I don't like, I don't think I could have done it. The pure science behind weightloss is CICO (as mentioned above), technically you can eat whatever you like. How you manage your hunger is up to you. I started with eating anything just less and now I'm trying to make better food choices. But I still eat chocolate everyday and I still drink diet soda on the weekend.

At the end of the day, I think the most important fact is that weight is fluid and nobody should define themselves by the number on the scale. Fat Acceptance is a community for many, but people who don't want you to improve your help just are not your friend. It's a cult that allows people to do the easy thing. The thing they've always done. But sometimes changing your pattern of behaviour opens up the door for a greater future. Despite still being obese I can now sit everywhere, fit everywhere, shop everywhere and go everywhere. It makes you feel human again.

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

I tend to never comment on anyone’s weight or how their body looks unless they are obviously too skinny and that there is a serious problem going on. The only time I can remember calling anyone fat was when I was four years old and didn’t know any better. I called a family friend that word and I do feel slightly guilty about it now but I know that I was just a little kid who couldn’t even tie his own shoes and the friend never held it against me most likely because she knew that I was just a small child still learning how to talk and be social with people.

 

[-Raven-]

I’m glad we’re past the era of “haha this character is fat” jokes being in everything. But from the little I tune in it seems obesity is on the rise and I would put that on corporations more than the public tbh. There are fewer healthy foods available these days and their products are designed to fill cheap cravings like anything else.

With that said even IF it was someone’s “fault” and totally in their control shaming someone for it is a no-go. It’s just rude. Come on.

I have a lot of distrust / cynicism toward people in general, but fat shaming is something I would never do and if there is a rise in obesity it’s really something I would hate corporations for.

I’ve pretty much always looked / been normal BMI, so idk I have no lived experience with fat shaming. : / I just think it’s common sense / decency not to shame people for their body. I hate being around people for how they act not their mortal vessel lmao.

I guess the closest analogy I get other than ableism is short jokes and they’re god damned annoying. So I wouldn’t even be cracking jokes about it tbh.