Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[Bread Kennedys]

Well, miraculously I got an answer out of my mom despite only asking an LGBT-related question once. She said she would never kick any of her children out over something like that, and she thinks it's ultimately harmless despite not really understanding it. So I've pretty much got my answer. Thank you! I'm gonna try to come out to her as soon as I feel ready.

Update: So I came out to her and...it went really well! She accepted me with no problems. I actually wanted to cry when she did, haha. Needless to say I see myself getting very close with my mom now. Although, she wants me to eventually tell my dad before I start estrogen. I guess I will eventually, my mom at least said she has my back and will be there with me when I decide to come out to him. So there's that at least.

Vent time? Vent time

I've been feeling more dysphoric than normal recently. I don't really know why, I get gendered more correctly at work even by customers than I ever have (I blame the mask lol). I just sort of always feel like no-one takes me seriously as a woman. I feel like even my friends are so attached to my previously perceived androgynous identity and I'm not sure what I have to do for people to shake it. I'm starting HRT soon, and I feel like that will help for sure, but I don't want people to wait until it's more convenient or it makes more sense to them to treat me as the person I am.

hugs Dysphoria seems to be like depression in a sense where we have it in waves, sometimes it's not as bad as other times. At least for me, that's how my depression is anyway, and that's sorta like my experience with dysphoria too. Side-note: having dysphoria on top of depression is not very fun. If it's any consolation, although this is coming from an internet person, you're absolutely by all means a woman. A queen, even. I'm happy to hear you're starting HRT soon at least! Like I said, if you ever need someone to talk to, my PMs/VMs/Discord DMs are always open <3

 

[-Lumi-]

I am a lesbian. I’ve clicked into this thread a dozen or so times and thought about posting but always end up leaving. I’m out to some friends but not to my family/wasn’t out when I was working. I go through periods of being okay/fine with my sexuality and other times where it drives me absolutely batty and I wish I could be straight. It can be hard sometimes but right now I’m feeling okay about it which is why I’m posting now.

 

[ReanimatedSorceress]

Update: So I came out to her and...it went really well! She accepted me with no problems. I actually wanted to cry when she did, haha. Needless to say I see myself getting very close with my mom now. Although, she wants me to eventually tell my dad before I start estrogen. I guess I will eventually, my mom at least said she has my back and will be there with me when I decide to come out to him. So there's that at least.



hugs Dysphoria seems to be like depression in a sense where we have it in waves, sometimes it's not as bad as other times. At least for me, that's how my depression is anyway, and that's sorta like my experience with dysphoria too. Side-note: having dysphoria on top of depression is not very fun. If it's any consolation, although this is coming from an internet person, you're absolutely by all means a woman. A queen, even. I'm happy to hear you're starting HRT soon at least! Like I said, if you ever need someone to talk to, my PMs/VMs/Discord DMs are always open <3

I appreciate that, a lot, I've just been working too much to respond to anything.

I don't want to comment without contributing something to the thread, and I just had a conversation with a friend that's relevant to the topic; I think it's strange that people haven't accepted that sexuality is as nuanced , if not more nuanced, than gender. I know multiple people who struggle because they assign themselves a label but don't quite fit into it 100%. For example, a friend who is attracted primarily to men but occasionally a girl and feels at odds with his identity as "gay", not experiencing the attraction to women often enough to want to use "bi". I don't think it's important that you find a label that matches you completely. I think it's more important that you find a label that makes you comfortable with. Hope this helps someone.

 

[Bread Kennedys]

I appreciate that, a lot, I've just been working too much to respond to anything.

I don't want to comment without contributing something to the thread, and I just had a conversation with a friend that's relevant to the topic; I think it's strange that people haven't accepted that sexuality is as nuanced , if not more nuanced, than gender. I know multiple people who struggle because they assign themselves a label but don't quite fit into it 100%. For example, a friend who is attracted primarily to men but occasionally a girl and feels at odds with his identity as "gay", not experiencing the attraction to women often enough to want to use "bi". I don't think it's important that you find a label that matches you completely. I think it's more important that you find a label that makes you comfortable with. Hope this helps someone.

I personally felt this for a long time. I thought I might be bi in high school as I was attracted to a guy in my class (I identified as a male at the time) but after awhile I eventually thought I was just straight cause I felt more attraction to women and most guys I didn't seem sexually attracted to. But it's also totally possible to be bi and just prefer one sex over the other. For example, I'm bi but very lesbian leaning, but I will gladly date a guy if I find one I really like and find attractive. I have stricter tastes in guys, that said, but at the end of the day sexuality is all about preferences. I hope this also helps someone who might be on the fence, I know it helped me when I realized this.

 

[oak]

Well I thought it was about time to post here considering some people thought I was cis-male which is totally fair but I am definitely not. I identified as purely male for years but now I find myself sitting comfortably on the non-binary spectrum. Almost feels freeing just saying "idk" when people ask me my gender. I hate talking about gender with people in real life because I'm terrible at getting my words out and if someone if aggressively asking me questions I get flustered. I want to have calculated intelligent responses but I just get heated haha.

Guys at work used to ask me all the time "are u a boy or girl lol" but now they know I get sassy quick so they stay away from me. Even strangers on the street have approached me asking about my gender which gets scary considering it's always men. Some people think I'm a male and some think I'm a woman & I correct no one. It's complicated cause so many of my male family members work at the same place as me and everyone loves to talk ****. It's a strange existence not being able to reinforce male or neutral pronouns at work but most of them can't even handle the idea of a butch lesbian. So many lesbian jokes at work and they aren't even creative. If it was funny I could laugh but it's just old school ignorance.

tl;dr I'm non-binary and use he or they pronouns depending what's easiest for you. And I'm bisexual but I've known that for so long I don't even think much about it anymore.

Thanks if you actually read all that lmao.

 

[Theoneandonlymegan]

I’m not entirely sure what I am because I might be bisexual but I’m still not sure. Like I know I like guys that’s not the issue, I’m just not sure if I’m attracted to girls or if I’m just admiring them because they are really pretty. And then I ask myself yeah but do you want to kiss them kinda thing or just be that pretty and I don’t really know. For now I just tell everyone I’m straight and have not actually said anything about this in real life

 

[Marte]

Finding a lot of comfort in this thread, you are all some brave souls my fellow LGBT+'s.♥

I'm one of the late bloomers. Went my whole teens thinking I was asexual, because the thought of being gay never really came to mind. All I knew was that males didn't strike my interest. It wasn't until my late teens that I actually was like… ah. At this point I had been attracted to girls for years, but I mistook the feelings for admiration. What I was worried about was my lack of attraction towards men. I thought something was wrong with me for sure, and even played with the thought of getting therapy as it was recommended to me after talking to several people about my lack of attraction towards my boyfriend at the time. Now I'm just like.. what? Therapy? What was I thinking? Did I seriously consider therapy before I realized I was gay?

Time went by, and I started to understand that I indeed was attracted to females. Just knowing that alone was a great comfort, but also a horrible feeling. I was still in the closet, and felt like I was hiding my true self. Which I was. As the years went the feeling got worse, and I didn't feel like anyone really knew me. I wish that wasn't something I felt, because after coming out I realized that you're still you. Nothing about you changes besides one little fact, and in my case that was my sexual preference. But still, you don't really feel free in your mind.

Last year, at the age of 23, I came out to my friends and family. And if I could use one sentence to describe the feeling of coming out, it would this sentence from the movie Love, Simon: You get to exhale now. I finally got to exhale the breath that I'd been holding in for years, hiding who I was. It was relief. The support from the people in my life was overwhelming, and I felt more loved that ever. Of course, I didn't expect everyone to accept me, but love won over hate. Some of the hate even came from me, as I struggled to accept myself for not being like the others. I didn't know anyone from the LGBT+ community and felt alone. This is something I still struggle with, which is a shame. But I know that it will get better with time. Coming out is something I have never regretted.

This turned into a long post… but this is a topic I don't really talk about, so it felt good to share.♥

 

[xSuperMario64x]

being ace in a society like this is so draining, almost excruciating.

 

[Lothitine]

I,, might come out to my family soon because I think I have my identity figured out
But for everyone online who I’ll come out to first~
*drumroll pleeease*

I am non-binary!I seriously thought I was a lesbian for a good 3 years tho

 

[Rubombee]

I am non-binary!I seriously thought I was a lesbian for a good 3 years tho

Ayyy!! you can be both btw. but if you don't feel like a lesbian anymore that's also totally valid

 

[frenchip]

still not 100% sure what i am, though what i usually go back to is asexuality. i feel like i might be ace, but i've also never been in a relationship nor interested in having one, so i'm always second guessing myself. but then again, i'm only in my teens, maybe i am too young to know now. oh well, i suppose time will tell (and i'm not really in a rush to figure out my identities).

 

[Lady Timpani]

Just wanted to pop back in and say I'm glad this thread is thriving and that so many people are having such positive coming out experiences. After I graduated high school I didn't really have any LGBT friends, and I think that contributed to negative feelings I already had about my sexuality. I haven't really been able to talk about it with anybody in a long time, and I'm still kind of leery about it tbh, but it's always nice to come on here and see people doing well and being themselves. So thank you guys a lot for that.

 

[Alienfish]

Been sometime I posted here, but I've been reading thru a lot of your posts and sending hugs to you all <3

Also coming to a conclusion, so far, that I definitely feel/define more as bi rather than pan and stuff. By no means excluding anyone, more like people have been using me as their personal shrinks about LGBTQ+ issues and being rude about it also and yeah that's nothing I would want in a relationship. Listen and understanding is one thing but yeah constantly doing that, no.

Also I read back on the beyond/free of gender stuff and I can kinda relate to that in another way.. I feel kinda lonely but am I the only one feeling like it's okay to use any pronoun and stuff? Like I usually go by she cause I'm comfy these days with being a cis female but I don't mind/care if people use he/they etc. which has happened irl and online. By no means meaning to devalue anything or anyone that has to do with gender/pronouns, they are definitely important!

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Also I read back on the beyond/free of gender stuff and I can kinda relate to that in another way.. I feel kinda lonely but am I the only one feeling like it's okay to use any pronoun and stuff? Like I usually go by she cause I'm comfy these days with being a cis female but I don't mind/care if people use he/they etc. which has happened irl and online. By no means meaning to devalue anything or anyone that has to do with gender/pronouns, they are definitely important!

I also don't really mind what pronouns people use for me. despite being a cis female I've had many people call me he/him and it honestly doesn't bother me. I actually think it's kinda funny/cute, like one time I had someone on this forum call me "mr mario" and I thought that was just great lol.

 

[Alienfish]

I also don't really mind what pronouns people use for me. despite being a cis female I've had many people call me he/him and it honestly doesn't bother me. I actually think it's kinda funny/cute, like one time I had someone on this forum call me "mr mario" and I thought that was just great lol.

Yeah I'm like the same way, I'm comfy with people doing both he, they or just she so I don't bother correct them. And yeah this was mostly when I had more neutral username because yeah sheila(a) is kinda giving it away lol but yeah i'm glad im not 100% lonely.

Post automatically merged: Aug 10, 2020

Also if anyone wants to talk absolutely feel free to reach out here or on discord

 

[Lothitine]

I was the same way before I figured out I was nb
It honestly made me happy when ppl ‘misgendered’ me-
I still don’t rlly care what pronouns ppl use tbh lmao

 

[Alienfish]

I was the same way before I figured out I was nb
It honestly made me happy when ppl ‘misgendered’ me-
I still don’t rlly care what pronouns ppl use tbh lmao

Yeah, I don't feel nb or stuff but it's like, people can use what they want for me and I don't rly care and stuff. if they wanna use he or just my sheila username that is fine. (id rather not give away my real name bc it makes me uncomfy also)

and yeah i can kinda relate, not because nb but it was nice people did use he/they cause sometimes i had really giving away avatars tho neutral username and i dont want people stuck into one to use for me either.

 

[saucySheep]

Thank you for this.

I believe I may be asexual, idk if that's part of the LGBTQ community officially, but sometimes I worry that someones gonna ask me on a date and i'll be all like asbdbaibd iwa what no pls no

 

[Rubombee]

I believe I may be asexual, idk if that's part of the LGBTQ community officially

It absolutely is! Those who believe otherwise are unnecessarily gatekeeping ;p

 

[Lothitine]

It absolutely is! Those who believe otherwise are unnecessarily gatekeeping ;p

Post automatically merged: Aug 11, 2020

So I was putting laundry up and remembered a tip from Instagram that the only safe way to do homemade-binders is 2 sports bras so I tried it while putting up laundry and had a little fashion show for my cat, who blinked happily at me and purred it made me super happy!!
But I had to take it off when I finished putting up clothes bc my siblings would IMMEDIATELY be nosy and figure it out :/but my cat thought i looked good so

Post automatically merged: Aug 11, 2020

Also I feel like my lungs are about to ****ing DIE