Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

[DinosaurDumpster]

Well
time to officially come out as transgender on here (ftm)
This fall break i'm planning on starting transitioning. Planning on getting a male haircut and disguising it as a pixie cut so my mom will actually let me get it since she's a non-supporter and doesn't know i'm trans loll ;v;

 

[ali.di.magix]

-snip-

I wish you the best of luck, friendo! I hope your mum understands. I would stress to her that it is most definitely not a hormonal/physical/mental issue that can be "fixed", and maybe stress the definition of what a sex-repulsed ace is and hopefully that should explain to her why it's so uncomfortable talking about intimate things. I also feel that if I ever come out to anyone for that matter I'm going to have to be armed with information to the questions that will be asked lol.

-snip-

I'm sorry that you had a bad experience in your past relationship </3 I'm happy for you that you broke it off, realising it wasn't right. I'm glad to hear that you're doing much better now

--

Righto, this is my first time coming out to anyone for that matter so here we go I guess lol. I've been questioning for a long time now, but I finally feel like I've got a label that suits me. I'm an aromantic grey-ace, who is sex-positive. I very rarely experience any sort of romantic or sexual attraction, however I'm not indifferent to the idea of a romantic and/or sexual relationship. I think I have known deep down that I'm aro-ace for a long time, because in high school when everyone was going through that phase of rapidly developing crushes and/or relationships, I simply could not relate at all. To this day, I still cannot relate lol. Will I ever come out to anyone else...is another question altogether. Perhaps friends, but idk about family lol.

The only other thing that I'm questioning at the moment is when I feel attraction of any sort, who am I attracted to. I sorta fluctuate to feeling very straight, but also I feel that bi might suit me better at times

Yeah my sexuality has now become confusing AF, but at least I feel comfortable with some labels that I feel that describe me well!

 

[Lothitine]

Well
time to officially come out as transgender on here (ftm)
This fall break i'm planning on starting transitioning. Planning on getting a male haircut and disguising it as a pixie cut so my mom will actually let me get it since she's a non-supporter and doesn't know i'm trans loll ;v;

yay!! good luck!! ^^

 

[moo_nieu]

I've lurked this thread for a while, but never really felt comfortable posting.. I still don't tbh, but I'd like to be able to share how I feel with somebody. I don't really feel like I have any particular gender/sexuality; it's more of a changing thing for me (not one to the other, more like a spectrum). My family is very religious and pretty closed minded about gender/sexuality. I was raised to act like a "lady", although I never did (to my mother's dismay). Last December, I decided I wanted a really short hair cut, and my mom very hesitantly asked me if I was transitioning after I sent her a picture. I just wanted a badass haircut :c It made me feel so uncomfortable to think that I can't just have a simple change in style without such serious questioning. Maybe she was trying to be supportive, but her message seemed fearful, my parents aren't exactly thrilled about freedom of identity.. (I guess I'll never know for sure how that text was supposed to read). I've known that I've been attracted to multiple genders for around 8 years now, but I've never told my family (my friends and s/o know). I just don't want them to start treating me/thinking of me weirdly. Plus my mom is big on gossip. I'd rather just avoid being talked about to everyone about sensitive issues like this. I think my family sort of knows, but I haven't confirmed anything. They could have no idea, I'm really not sure. Anyways, it feels good to know that other people also experience changing feelings of identity. I sort of just shove my feelings aside and tell myself that I don't need to live based on my gender/sexuality, but I think I might just feel more comfortable hiding it (although it's not that comfortable i guess). Thanks for listening

 

[xSuperMario64x]

ace awareness week is coming up (Oct 25-31) and I'm really excited cause it's the first time I'll be celebrating it!

also still tossing around the idea of coming out to my mom ughugiufigu idk why I can't just do it lol
I guess she'll have to figure out in the coming week when I start wearing my ace flag pin all the time and I'm just chillin in my room ironing my ace flag bragging about how awesome it is to not experience attraction lmfao

 

[Theoneandonlymegan]

I’m not entirely sure what I am because I might be bisexual but I’m still not sure. Like I know I like guys that’s not the issue, I’m just not sure if I’m attracted to girls or if I’m just admiring them because they are really pretty. And then I ask myself yeah but do you want to kiss them kinda thing or just be that pretty and I don’t really know. For now I just tell everyone I’m straight and have not actually said anything about this in real life

Ok so it’s been a few months and there’s not even a doubt about it, I’m definitely bi. I ended up telling my friend group which already has another bi, a lesbian, and ace and also two straights so they were pretty chill. I’m kinda hardcore crushing on my friend (the other bi in the group) and we are currently trying to figure out how to approach things.

 

[DaisyFan]

Here I go...

I am aromantic asexual, aka aro-ace. I was in questioning for romantic orientation, whether I was biromantic or panromantic. Recently, I found out that I am aromantic, so I am not interested in having a partner. I've been ace for two years.

For gender, I am non-binary (agender) feminine. I maintain wearing feminine clothing, accessories, jewelry, and makeup (special occasions only), but I stay as genderless and enby.

 

[Korichi]

Hi everyone!! It’s so nice to meet everyone here!! ;7;

I’m proud to be asexual! I’m also demiromantic and panromantic! As for gender, I’m boyflux but also trans (ftm)!

 

[Slaxmax]

I'm proud to be a lesbian! Wish my girlfriend hadn't dumped me though haha xD

Post automatically merged: Nov 21, 2020

Ok so it’s been a few months and there’s not even a doubt about it, I’m definitely bi. I ended up telling my friend group which already has another bi, a lesbian, and ace and also two straights so they were pretty chill. I’m kinda hardcore crushing on my friend (the other bi in the group) and we are currently trying to figure out how to approach things.

Congrats! Glad it went well. If you need/want to vent, you can always PM me about your situation with your friend

 

[DinosaurDumpster]

This week was trans awareness week. Since I didn't get my hair cut over fall break like I had hoped, I wanted to get a haircut this week because of trans awareness. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Just got a bunch of donuts from my dad (i'm not complaining because it's free food, but still)
So I went with trying to lower my voice naturally since i'll be pre-T for a long time. Also been trying to gain more muscle but from the looks of it, it's not working ;v;

Also, it makes me so uncomfortable when my friends pat me on the head or use me as an armrest. It makes me feel super dysphoric because i'm so small and shaped like a girl. I've told them to stop so many times it's not even funny. They still do it, and i'm not sure what to do because i'm so small and defenseless. Another thing is, I have to go to an early-morning class before school that's all about Jesus because i'm being raised christian. The teacher showed us a video about LGBTQ+ rights or something... and I got so offended. It made me really upset that my parents were teaching me that being gay, lesbian, trans, was a sin. Another thing is, my mom thought my sister was lesbian and she got so offended because she thought my sister was. It infuriates me when people think like this. I've been counting the years ever since I was maybe 6 years old to move out of this house where I can't be my true self.

 

[Slaxmax]

This week was trans awareness week. Since I didn't get my hair cut over fall break like I had hoped, I wanted to get a haircut this week because of trans awareness. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. Just got a bunch of donuts from my dad (i'm not complaining because it's free food, but still)
So I went with trying to lower my voice naturally since i'll be pre-T for a long time. Also been trying to gain more muscle but from the looks of it, it's not working ;v;

Also, it makes me so uncomfortable when my friends pat me on the head or use me as an armrest. It makes me feel super dysphoric because i'm so small and shaped like a girl. I've told them to stop so many times it's not even funny. They still do it, and i'm not sure what to do because i'm so small and defenseless. Another thing is, I have to go to an early-morning class before school that's all about Jesus because i'm being raised christian. The teacher showed us a video about LGBTQ+ rights or something... and I got so offended. It made me really upset that my parents were teaching me that being gay, lesbian, trans, was a sin. Another thing is, my mom thought my sister was lesbian and she got so offended because she thought my sister was. It infuriates me when people think like this. I've been counting the years ever since I was maybe 6 years old to move out of this house where I can't be my true self.

Ugh. That really sucks. It's horrible to feel invalidated let alone having one's gender identity disregarded and hated. When I first came out, it was really difficult at home, too, and my parents made me feel so ashamed. I was seeing a therapist at the time, and I told him I liked girls and he tried to get me to like boys when my parents expressed concern. They thought it was a phase. But over time, hopefully people can change if given the chance. They're very accepting now, but often times don't understand certain things. So maybe you need to educate your peers and your parents about your feelings but also your experience overall. They might not understand and people fear what they can't understand. I'm really sorry you're going through this though.

 

[Saylor]

I realized I was a lesbian years ago but still go through periods where I feel intensely frustrated about it and I'm not sure why. When I figured out I liked girls I was so relieved and for the first time getting crushes on people made sense and felt good, but now oftentimes it just makes me upset. It's always been kind of an issue with my family, so that part hasn't changed, but sometimes it feels like it's getting harder for me to deal with this part of myself. I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to love a man and I try to force feelings whenever I meet one that I think maybe I could like. I've been reluctant in the past to tell people I'm gay because I was hanging onto the idea that maybe someday I won't be, and that makes me feel so guilty.

I think these feelings have really amplified in the past year so I'm hoping part of it is just quarantine kinda getting to me. Seeing lesbians who are out and seem happy and talking to other lgbt people when I was still on campus made me feel less isolated, and that helped a lot.

 

[Slaxmax]

I realized I was a lesbian years ago but still go through periods where I feel intensely frustrated about it and I'm not sure why. When I figured out I liked girls I was so relieved and for the first time getting crushes on people made sense and felt good, but now oftentimes it just makes me upset. It's always been kind of an issue with my family, so that part hasn't changed, but sometimes it feels like it's getting harder for me to deal with this part of myself. I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to love a man and I try to force feelings whenever I meet one that I think maybe I could like. I've been reluctant in the past to tell people I'm gay because I was hanging onto the idea that maybe someday I won't be, and that makes me feel so guilty.

I think these feelings have really amplified in the past year so I'm hoping part of it is just quarantine kinda getting to me. Seeing lesbians who are out and seem happy and talking to other lgbt people when I was still on campus made me feel less isolated, and that helped a lot.

Same here. I relate to literally everything you just said. It's really difficult to feel isolated as well as invalidated for your sexual orientation. I hate it too. I just wish that I could be straight sometimes so that dating would be "easier." I live in a pretty conservative area but my college is really liberal and a lot of people are queer. But the pandemic made everything virtual and I just transferred so it's been really difficult for me, too. I'm sorry you're struggling, too.

 

[Saylor]

Same here. I relate to literally everything you just said. It's really difficult to feel isolated as well as invalidated for your sexual orientation. I hate it too. I just wish that I could be straight sometimes so that dating would be "easier." I live in a pretty conservative area but my college is really liberal and a lot of people are queer. But the pandemic made everything virtual and I just transferred so it's been really difficult for me, too. I'm sorry you're struggling, too.

I feel that. It feels like such a big part of me now that it's weird to think about wanting to change myself, but whenever my friends talk about boys or a guy is interested in me I always end up wishing I could be straight so I wouldn't feel so different. I was always too scared to do anything about it when I had feelings for other girls, but quarantine has definitely made it even harder. It really sucks this is all happening after you just transferred too, I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you. It already feels isolating and it's really hard not being able to be around people who might understand some of these things.

 

[Slaxmax]

I feel that. It feels like such a big part of me now that it's weird to think about wanting to change myself, but whenever my friends talk about boys or a guy is interested in me I always end up wishing I could be straight so I wouldn't feel so different. I was always too scared to do anything about it when I had feelings for other girls, but quarantine has definitely made it even harder. It really sucks this is all happening after you just transferred too, I'm sorry it's been so difficult for you. It already feels isolating and it's really hard not being able to be around people who might understand some of these things.

Yea, me too. I couldn't imagine not being gay, but at the same time I wish that I was straight...also dating apps totally focus on straight coupling and that irritates me too xD I actually dated guys all throughout high school, but it was just me playing a part I thought my parents, especially my mom, wanted me to play.

 

[MarshyMellow]

Reading all of these posts makes me feel hopeful.
I'm scared to interact with people, online and off, because I don't look or sound very masculine, but more and more people have been calling me he/him, and it has been boosting my confidence.
And the fact there are a tone of people like me posting here, makes me feel more safe to be me.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

ima go ahead and bump this:>

A few things:
1. I still haven't come out to my mom yet lmao. I really don't think she would understand how asexuality works (much less how being ace/apothi is even possible)
2. I'm in an awkward situation for the last few months where I've been questioning my gender identity. I've always identified as female but I honestly feel like I would be much more comfortable identifying as non-binary. I'm not opposed to people continuing to refer to me as she/her but I feel no true connection to a feminine identity, rather a gender-neutral or even more masculine identity.
3. I really want a binder! does anyone have recommendations on where I could get some for a reasonable price? or, is it possible to use a sports bra (or multiple) to achieve the same effect?

 

[oak]

3. I really want a binder! does anyone have recommendations on where I could get some for a reasonable price? or, is it possible to use a sports bra (or multiple) to achieve the same effect?

Both mine and my boyfriend's binders came from underworks online store. They can be on the expensive side though. I'd suggest starting with a sports bra cause no matter how properly fitted your binder is, it's gonna cause the elasticity in your breast to sag. As a possible non-binary person, you might still want your breasts to stay the same shape long term so just something to think about.

 

[xSuperMario64x]

Both mine and my boyfriend's binders came from underworks online store. They can be on the expensive side though. I'd suggest starting with a sports bra cause no matter how properly fitted your binder is, it's gonna cause the elasticity in your breast to sag. As a possible non-binary person, you might still want your breasts to stay the same shape long term so just something to think about.

I appreciate the response
I prob wouldn't wear it all the time, just days when I feel like I would be most comfortable wearing it (I already wear a bra 24/7 so idrc if I sag or whatever, I would honestly prob be happier if I could have them removed lol)

 

[Balverine]

-snip-

My best friend is in the same situation, they like being feminine/doing feminine things, but recently decided that they felt more comfortable using they/them pronouns and identifying as non-binary
They still feel really weird about it, but their fiancé is super cool about it and literally went 'ok cool' when they came out to him lol

They haven't mentioned anything to their family, however, they said they're just gonna start doing stuff they feel comfortable with and if someone asks about it, they'll explain it to them

as for me, my family is fairly unsupportive of anything other than cishet lol
I'm Demiromantic bisexual and haven't told any of my family (tbh, I don't feel like I owe anyone a 'coming out' but i understand that some people do feel that way) because I know how they'd react lol