Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity Support Thread

Lothitine said:
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So I was putting laundry up and remembered a tip from Instagram that the only safe way to do homemade-binders is 2 sports bras so I tried it while putting up laundry and had a little fashion show for my cat, who blinked happily at me and purred 🥺 it made me super happy!!
But I had to take it off when I finished putting up clothes bc my siblings would IMMEDIATELY be nosy and figure it out :/but my cat thought i looked good so 👉👈
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Also I feel like my lungs are about to ****ing DIE
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Oh, please be careful when binding! I don’t have any personal experience but I even heard if it hurts maybe you should loosen a little.
 
Lothitine said:
Post automatically merged:

So I was putting laundry up and remembered a tip from Instagram that the only safe way to do homemade-binders is 2 sports bras so I tried it while putting up laundry and had a little fashion show for my cat, who blinked happily at me and purred 🥺 it made me super happy!!
But I had to take it off when I finished putting up clothes bc my siblings would IMMEDIATELY be nosy and figure it out :/but my cat thought i looked good so 👉👈
Post automatically merged:

Also I feel like my lungs are about to ****ing DIE
Click to expand...
Be careful when binding! Torturing yourself is not a good plan for the long run. I understand wanting immediate results but I had to give up on my binder and move to 1 well fitted sports bra to relief a lingering ache in my ribs. Me and my partner have dealt with binding for over 9 years now.

It's hard to think about the future when you are only 13 but if you want to bind for years to come, don't force yourself to sit there in pain! Especially if you are going to be exercising or needing full lung capacity. Maybe consider wearing just 1 sports bra for most of the time unless you can get a proper binder designed to minimize damage to your chest.

Sorry for lecturing you lol! I tried not to sound like an old man but it happened anyways.
 
oak said:
Be careful when binding! Torturing yourself is not a good plan for the long run. I understand wanting immediate results but I had to give up on my binder and move to 1 well fitted sports bra to relief a lingering ache in my ribs. Me and my partner have dealt with binding for over 9 years now.

It's hard to think about the future when you are only 13 but if you want to bind for years to come, don't force yourself to sit there in pain! Especially if you are going to be exercising or needing full lung capacity. Maybe consider wearing just 1 sports bra for most of the time unless you can get a proper binder designed to minimize damage to your chest.

Sorry for lecturing you lol! I tried not to sound like an old man but it happened anyways.
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It’s fine! Yeah i was kinda stupid but now i know to be more careful from now on!! it’s more uncomfortable than hurting but I’ve been coughing and my mom got worried so ~✨maybe that wasn’t a good idea on my part™✨~
 
lawnClippings said:
*slides in and sits*
I need to go make supper now, but I'll probably post something more meaningful later.

Um... hi! Everyone doing okay?
Trans man here who likes other men (trans or otherwise).
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Hello! I’m good, how are you? :D
 
So now that I have eaten... to add further... I'm also on the demisexual side of things.
I didn't grow up in an environment where the LGBTQIA+ community was discussed a lot and didn't really figure out that I was trans and that there was an actual word/definition for what I was going through until much, much later. I knew I identified as male in middle school (someone asked me why I always chose male characters in Pokemon games, and I just simply replied with "because I am a boy"), but I did not know there was an actual word for it until maybe... junior year of high school and even then I did not actually come out until my 20's because of how my family is. There are still family members who do not know...
So if anyone is going through something similar, I would not mind listening. I don't know how well I am at giving advice, but I can try? I just mostly listen and let people vent/cry if they need to...

Lothitine said:
Hello! I’m good, how are you? :D
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That's good to hear.
I'm doing a lot better now that I've eaten. I was developing a hunger headache, but now it's all good. :)
 
lawnClippings said:
So now that I have eaten... to add further... I'm also on the demisexual side of things.
I didn't grow up in an environment where the LGBTQIA+ community was discussed a lot and didn't really figure out that I was trans and that there was an actual word/definition for what I was going through until much, much later. I knew I identified as male in middle school (someone asked me why I always chose male characters in Pokemon games, and I just simply replied with "because I am a boy"), but I did not know there was an actual word for it until maybe... junior year of high school and even then I did not actually come out until my 20's because of how my family is. There are still family members who do not know...
So if anyone is going through something similar, I would not mind listening. I don't know how well I am at giving advice, but I can try? I just mostly listen and let people vent/cry if they need to...



That's good to hear.
I'm doing a lot better now that I've eaten. I was developing a hunger headache, but now it's all good. :)
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That’s cool!
I’m non-binary and I can definitely relate a bit-
LGBTQ Stuff wasn’t rlly talked about (my aunt is a lesbian but my parents didn’t really explain what it was we just knew she had a girlfriend)
I’m still scared to come out, but at the same time I know I’m safe because my family is pretty accepting, I’m just scared they won’t understand,, yknow?
Super nice to meet you!!
 
Lothitine said:
That’s cool!
I’m non-binary and I can definitely relate a bit-
LGBTQ Stuff wasn’t rlly talked about (my aunt is a lesbian but my parents didn’t really explain what it was we just knew she had a girlfriend)
I’m still scared to come out, but at the same time I know I’m safe because my family is pretty accepting, I’m just scared they won’t understand,, yknow?
Super nice to meet you!!
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(Is that one of those fuzzy, twisty finger worm things in your profile pic?)
I know how you feel.
I have people on my step dad's side who are part of the LBGTQIA+ community (they're* lesbians), but when it comes to the gender identity side of the community none of them think it's real or if they do, they think it's people with mental issues.
My mom's side of the family is religious and don't hide that they think it's a sin so there is that.
And I don't talk to my biological dad's side of family for multiple reasons.
My mom knows, but doesn't understand sometimes.
So totally understand where you are coming from with being worried they won't really understand.

Nice meeting you, too.

(small edit: "they're" not "their" blasted typos. I start typing fast and make simple mistakes)
 
so this Sunday is National Coming Out Day and that reminds me... I haven't actually "come out" to my parents or friends irl. to be honest I've never really felt a need to do it before but now as an adult I would like to be taken seriously as a member of the LGBT+ community.

the things is I have no clue how they will react. identifying as ace/apothi, I'll probably have to explain every single detail to them and that'll just make it extremely uncomfortable for me. but I feel like if they were aware of me being ace they (especially my mom) would be more accepting of the fact that I get really nervous/disgusted when talking about intimacy n stuff like that. my mom always came up with an excuse like "there is no reason at all to be embarrassed, it's a natural thing" and that honestly just makes me mad. if she knows that I'm ace/apothi maybe she will be more understanding and sensitive.

but idk, im afraid of coming out. theres no good time or good occasion or anything. I don't want it to be awkward.
 
Lothitine said:
Post automatically merged:

So I was putting laundry up and remembered a tip from Instagram that the only safe way to do homemade-binders is 2 sports bras so I tried it while putting up laundry and had a little fashion show for my cat, who blinked happily at me and purred 🥺 it made me super happy!!
But I had to take it off when I finished putting up clothes bc my siblings would IMMEDIATELY be nosy and figure it out :/but my cat thought i looked good so 👉👈
Post automatically merged:

Also I feel like my lungs are about to ****ing DIE
Click to expand...
I'm late to this but I've been following this Youtuber for many years. I know nothing about binding but I found this video to be pretty good on suggestions and safety.
 
I've only just recently realized that I'm asexual. I've definitely always been ace, I just never realized until recently that most people do experience sexual attraction, even though I don't/didn't. I'm 24 by the way. I do experience romantic attraction though which most people seem to misunderstand about aces. Sure some of us don't experience any sexual or romantic attraction, but you can definitely have one without the other like in my case.

I only figured out I was Ace from my most recent relationship. My partner was extremely sexual to the point I was pressured into things I did not want to do and I was uncomfortable/stressed in the relationship more than I was enjoying it. He tried to sound like he was fairly understanding when I told him I was ace, but he continued to push my boundaries and ultimately I don't think he believes in asexual being a true orientation. I broke it off about a month ago now and I've been feeling so much better. It's been like a huge wave of relief.

Thankfully my Mom has been really understanding since I've told her, especially since she's definitely not ace. I haven't told my Dad as I'm unsure how he'd respond to be honest, that and I don't really talk about real personal things like that with him normally.

I know people like to debate whether or not asexual should fall under LGBTQ+ but I try not to worry about that too much. I like to be accepted for who I am as an asexual. It doesn't have to be under a bigger community like LGBTQ+, though wider acceptance is always appreciated.

I recently read @Rosie Moon's post in this thread back in April about other people trying to "fix" her relationship as both her and her husband don't experience sexual attraction. It sucks that people feel the the need to butt into situations like this where they just don't understand. As a fellow asexual I can only dream of a relationship like hers. I'd be willing to compromise to an extent with someone who tries to be genuinely understanding and respectful of my boundaries, but the perfect scenario would definitely be to find someone who is also asexual. It would just relive all stress related to sexual related things in general.

Anyways enough about me, I'd like to say that I fully support anyone regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity. I also won't pretend to understand how each of you feel because well I don't (unless you are also an asexual heteromantic person), but I will respect the way you feel and accept you for who you are.

Thanks for reading. :)
 
Holla said:
I've only just recently realized that I'm asexual. I've definitely always been ace, I just never realized until recently that most people do experience sexual attraction, even though I don't/didn't. I'm 24 by the way. I do experience romantic attraction though which most people seem to misunderstand about aces. Sure some of us don't experience any sexual or romantic attraction, but you can definitely have one without the other like in my case.

I only figured out I was Ace from my most recent relationship. My partner was extremely sexual to the point I was pressured into things I did not want to do and I was uncomfortable/stressed in the relationship more than I was enjoying it. He tried to sound like he was fairly understanding when I told him I was ace, but he continued to push my boundaries and ultimately I don't think he believes in asexual being a true orientation. I broke it off about a month ago now and I've been feeling so much better. It's been like a huge wave of relief.

Thankfully my Mom has been really understanding since I've told her, especially since she's definitely not ace. I haven't told my Dad as I'm unsure how he'd respond to be honest, that and I don't really talk about real personal things like that with him normally.

I know people like to debate whether or not asexual should fall under LGBTQ+ but I try not to worry about that too much. I like to be accepted for who I am as an asexual. It doesn't have to be under a bigger community like LGBTQ+, though wider acceptance is always appreciated.

I recently read @Rosie Moon's post in this thread back in April about other people trying to "fix" her relationship as both her and her husband don't experience sexual attraction. It sucks that people feel the the need to butt into situations like this where they just don't understand. As a fellow asexual I can only dream of a relationship like hers. I'd be willing to compromise to an extent with someone who tries to be genuinely understanding and respectful of my boundaries, but the perfect scenario would definitely be to find someone who is also asexual. It would just relive all stress related to sexual related things in general.

Anyways enough about me, I'd like to say that I fully support anyone regardless of your sexual orientation or gender identity. I also won't pretend to understand how each of you feel because well I don't (unless you are also an asexual heteromantic person), but I will respect the way you feel and accept you for who you are.

Thanks for reading. :)
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I am so happy that you broke things off with your old partner. He definitely did not sound supportive at all and pressuring you into doing things you didn't want to do is so messed up. I'm not ace but I'm not as sexual as most people. My ex did the same thing, tried to guilt me into doing sexual things multiple times a week which was too much for me and then would sulk and make me feel guilty about not wanting to do it, instead making me do it that often just to please him. It was awful but I couldn't imagine your situation. Like you did, I ended things with him and have never felt more free. I'm glad you're feeling the same!

You keep being you and I really hope you meet someone who respects you.
 
xSuperMario64x said:
so this Sunday is National Coming Out Day and that reminds me... I haven't actually "come out" to my parents or friends irl. to be honest I've never really felt a need to do it before but now as an adult I would like to be taken seriously as a member of the LGBT+ community.

the things is I have no clue how they will react. identifying as ace/apothi, I'll probably have to explain every single detail to them and that'll just make it extremely uncomfortable for me. but I feel like if they were aware of me being ace they (especially my mom) would be more accepting of the fact that I get really nervous/disgusted when talking about intimacy n stuff like that. my mom always came up with an excuse like "there is no reason at all to be embarrassed, it's a natural thing" and that honestly just makes me mad. if she knows that I'm ace/apothi maybe she will be more understanding and sensitive.

but idk, im afraid of coming out. theres no good time or good occasion or anything. I don't want it to be awkward.
Click to expand...

I feel like I come out to people a lot less often as an adult? It's just something I don't think about very often and with people I don't already know I'm rarely in situations where it wouldn't be a random off-topic.

This said... maybe you could write them an email or something? That might make it easier to explain the terminology you're using and link them to resources to help them understand. You're right that if your parents are accepting, knowing this will probably make some of your interactions better.

Is there a reason why you're afraid? Do you think they'll take it badly?
 
Hypno KK said:
Is there a reason why you're afraid? Do you think they'll take it badly?
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I just don't want it to turn into a 45 minute session where I have to try to make sense of being ace/apothi to my parents, whom are both straight. I don't think they would take it badly.
 
xSuperMario64x said:
I just don't want it to turn into a 45 minute session where I have to try to make sense of being ace/apothi to my parents, whom are both straight. I don't think they would take it badly.
Click to expand...

I'm glad they'd probably take it well! I think that's always the hardest part of coming out. Personally, when I came out I didn't really mind explaining stuff but if this is stressful for you, I think a letter/email and some links or other resources could really help. Let us know how it goes if you decide to do it!
 
xSuperMario64x said:
I just don't want it to turn into a 45 minute session where I have to try to make sense of being ace/apothi to my parents, whom are both straight. I don't think they would take it badly.
Click to expand...
I don't think you owe them that either. I'd just explain to them what it means, and you can always try and answer their questions and/or ask them to read up themselves on the topic from proper sources :) Best of luck whatever you decide on ❤
 
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