QueenCobra
a thousand words in one sigh
“Look, Viking, I’ll give you a dollar if you put your bra back on and sit down.”
The out of context quotes thread
- Thread starter Midoriya
- Start date
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“He’s one of those guys with a smaller version of himself.”
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Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“I could read his mind.”
“AHHHHH! NOT EVEN OUR THOUGHTS ARE SAFE!”
“AHHHHH! NOT EVEN OUR THOUGHTS ARE SAFE!”
Let me explain how communion works. The priest will give you this round cracker, and he will say “the body of Christ”, and then you eat it.
…Jesus was made of crackers?
No.
But crackers are his body.
Yes.
What?
In the book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, “eat this, for it is my body”.
So we won’t go to hell as long as we eat crackers.
No, no, no, no.
Well, what are we eating then?
The body of Christ.
I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn’t want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers and then told people to eat him.
No!
No?
I can’t whistle if I eat too many crackers.
Look, all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it. Okay?
…Okay.
And then, you will drink a very small amount of wine, for that is the blood of Christ.
Oh, come on now, this is just getting silly.
…Jesus was made of crackers?
No.
But crackers are his body.
Yes.
What?
In the book of Mark, Jesus distributed bread and said, “eat this, for it is my body”.
So we won’t go to hell as long as we eat crackers.
No, no, no, no.
Well, what are we eating then?
The body of Christ.
I get it. Jesus wanted us to eat him, but he didn’t want us to be cannibals, so he turned himself into crackers and then told people to eat him.
No!
No?
I can’t whistle if I eat too many crackers.
Look, all you have to know is that when the priest gives you the cracker, you eat it. Okay?
…Okay.
And then, you will drink a very small amount of wine, for that is the blood of Christ.
Oh, come on now, this is just getting silly.
Friends, I have to tell you that last night, I received a phone call from beyond the grave!
*everyone gasps*
It was our departed friend, Kenny, calling from the depths of Hell! And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail! He said that in Hell, the smell is awful! He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish!
*everyone gasps*
He said there is water in Hell, but if you drink it, you pee blood out your ass for seven hours!
*everyone simultaneously* No!
And perhaps worst of all, in Hell, there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores. But they all have the same little trinkets in them!
*everyone screams*
*everyone gasps*
It was our departed friend, Kenny, calling from the depths of Hell! And he described what Hell is like in horrid detail! He said that in Hell, the smell is awful! He said that in Hell, everyone speaks Spanish!
*everyone gasps*
He said there is water in Hell, but if you drink it, you pee blood out your ass for seven hours!
*everyone simultaneously* No!
And perhaps worst of all, in Hell, there are dozens and dozens of little trinket stores. But they all have the same little trinkets in them!
*everyone screams*
rocketspruggs
𝔞𝔫𝔦𝔪𝔞𝔩 𝔣𝔬𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔱 𝔠𝔯𝔬𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔫𝔤
"Aw, I hate cleaning up around here! What's the point? It's just gonna get dirty again."
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“Look! Scottie ate all his food! He must be feeling better already!”
*Helga has gravy around her mouth*
“Yeah! Give him some more of the food that makes its own gravy!”
“Oh, Helga….”
“What? I had gravy for breakfast.”
*Helga has gravy around her mouth*
“Yeah! Give him some more of the food that makes its own gravy!”
“Oh, Helga….”
“What? I had gravy for breakfast.”
QueenCobra
a thousand words in one sigh
“My boytoy came without instructions and now it's committed several war crimes.”
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“You need to relax, Stan.”
“No I don’t!”
“You’re literally holding a gun to God’s head.”
“No I don’t!”
“You’re literally holding a gun to God’s head.”
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
"How can you be stupid? You're famous."
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“If you don’t get me a girl, I won’t play heaven with you anymore.”
“It’s at this point when I wonder if a movie itself could be put into prison?”
“It’s at this point when I wonder if a movie itself could be put into prison?”
Captain Jigglypuff
Leader of the Jigglypuff Army
“God, I promise this will be the last one….”
“THERE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN A FIRST ONE!!!!!!!!”
“THERE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN A FIRST ONE!!!!!!!!”
ZeldaCrossing64
Sugary Cynic
"What the hells, Nathan, you brings your girlfriend backstage?"
"She know... How... Where it is. You know, so..."
"She's probably keeping watch, like a hawk."
"Yeah, it's another judgmental, bird-face band wrecker."
"What?"
"What? Nothing, God, you're paranoid— Oh, there's my drink over there, gotta go!"
"She know... How... Where it is. You know, so..."
"She's probably keeping watch, like a hawk."
"Yeah, it's another judgmental, bird-face band wrecker."
"What?"
"What? Nothing, God, you're paranoid— Oh, there's my drink over there, gotta go!"
