The out of context quotes thread

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"That's it, boy! No more pleas! I'll kick in both your knees!"
"Cool, I can work with that! You're the same Ruvyzvat!"
"Ughh..."

 

[DolphinCube]

"Want me to send you fever garbage? Cus' I will!" -Guy I was fighting in a Puyo Puyo Fan game two seconds ago

 

[BakaRina]

“This may be the single worst strategy I've ever heard. You, alone, versus one of the biggest crime syndicate in the world?”
“I won't be alone. She will be with me.”
“Please don't involve me in your insanity.”

 

[-Mars-]

"Hey! Look it's [antagonist] we better go follow them to make sure they're not plotting another evil scheme!"
"I'm literally going to the grocery store... that's not evil..."

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"y cant metroid crawl?"

"jellyfish is helping yes"

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

"I ship you with the floor, now fall on it." -the 9yo kid I was babysitting earlier

 

[BakaRina]

"How is it that you always manage to come up with the worst-case scenario?"
"I practice."

 

[VanitasFan26]

"There are 215 bones in the human body. That’s one. Now don't move!”

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Aw, man... Looks like it didn't work out..."
"Oh, no. I just cannot smile. We already got married. Turns out it's really easy when you live in a church."
"Okay, can I go home now?"

 

[BakaRina]

"What is the one thing I asked you not to do tonight?"
"Pranking the law enforcement."
"And what did you do?"
"Made people's day happier!"
" ...by pranking the law enforcement."

 

[-Mars-]

"Ugh, I hate this job..."
"MARIO! SAVE ME!"
"You know Mario is probably dangling in lava right now right?"
"MARIO! SAVE ME!"
"You know Mario isn't gonna come right?"
"MARIO! SAVE ME!"
"Jeez you know you could say something different once in a while for once..."
"MARIO! SAVE ME!"
"That's it! I'm going outside to get a breath of fresh air..."
"MARIO! SAVE ME!"
"UGGGGHHH!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"Why are you going to the right?! WHYYYYY?! It's like it's avoiding the pins! Is this the anti-conflict bowling ball that I have?!" -Poofesure

 

[Zinnia.]

 

[BakaRina]

"If you found out you only had one day left to live, what would you do with it?"
"Say goodbye and mend my relationships."
"Something illegal."
"Accept my fate."
"I would message ten people saying that if they didn't forward the message to 10 other people, I would die tomorrow."
"...what?"
"That's awesome. Can I change my answer?"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"I won one million dollars? This is a dream come true! I'm gonna buy an ice cream truck!"

 

[BakaRina]

"Have a french fry."
"No thanks, I'm already full. And what happened to all your talking about eating healthier food?"
"What? The french fry, made by the potatoーa vegetable! Dipped in ketchup, made from the tomatoーalso a vegetable!"

 

[-Mars-]

"Some of the plots we hatched together were pretty fun..."
"You were like a brother to me"
"You were like a hideous ugly brother"
"WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT?!? WE ARE IDENTICAL!"
"Do you not have mirrors in your world?!?"
"YOUR the one that needs to look in a mirror!"
"NO YOU!"
"NO YOU!"

 

[BakaRina]

"We've run out of chocolate milk."
"And I've run out of patience."
"Okay cool but can you pick up some chocolate milk when you're out?"

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

“Nationwide is not on your side… BUT LASAGNA IS!!!” -my 5yo cousin

 

[Shiny Shiny Engine]

Cross my heart hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!