The out of context quotes thread

[BakaRina]

"When Netflix started, they used to send you DVDs."
"You know, back in my day the internet used to come in the mail."

 

[BakaRina]

"Based on statistical evidence, I'm immortal."
"How so?"
"I haven't died yet."

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

*listening to Watermelon Sugar by Harry Styles*
9yo I was babysitting: why does he keep saying hi to the watermelon sugar?

 

[Midoriya]

"Hi, I'd like admission please"
"Alright, where's your pass?"
"I don't have a pass, but are you prepared to deal with this?"
*shows him a caged bear on a unicycle*
"Threatening me with a bear on a unicycle? Fine... you can go in. NEXT!"
"Hi, I-I'd like admission please!"
"Alright, where's your pass?"
"Um... I don't have one."
"Do you at least have a caged bear on a unicycle to threaten me with?"
"Um... no?"
"NEXT!"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Me: "Hey, dad. I got the golden spoon in Tomodachi Life, which you get by feeding your Miis a thousand times."
My dad: "I'll give you the golden towel for cleaning your room a thousand times, which you still haven't done. Now go clean your room."

 

[tessa grace]

Roald is beefing

Post automatically merged: Jun 4, 2022

Me: "Hey, dad. I got the golden spoon in Tomodachi Life, which you get by feeding your Miis a thousand times."
My dad: "I'll give you the golden towel for cleaning your room a thousand times, which you still haven't done. Now go clean your room."

Your dad is so clever, haha!

 

[BakaRina]

"When I first met you, I did not like you."
"I'm aware of that."
"But then you and I had some time together."
"We did."
"And it did not get better."

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

Some Tomodachi Life quotes my Miis have said (there's a lot):

Spoiler

"Clouds look like cotton candy. I bet they taste sooo good."
"All hail the garlic!"
"I love Angelo, but I have way better taste in music."
"I have a short temper. SO WHAT? WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?!"
"I'm trying to find a way to cut out sleeping. It's such a time waster!"
"Sometimes screaming is a good stress reliever. It scares cats and kids, though."
"I never talk behind people's backs, unless they're in the front and I'm in the back."
"I saw Malon trip on the stairs the other day. It was hilarious."
"I'm pretty lucky, I'd say. My toast never, ever burns."
"Nothing is impossible. Not even the impossible!"
"I'm not good at compliments. By the way, your hair's less ugly than usual."
"I don't like action figures. I LOVE action figures."
"I don't waste my time on frivolous things. Like showers. Who needs 'em?"
"I'm told I work best when I'm under pressure. Let's not test that theory."
"It bothers me to no end when I hear someone mispronounciate something.

 

[-Mars-]

"In times of crisis like this I should really go buy some peanut butter"

 

[Midoriya]

"Haha, he kind of looks like a bulldog staring at the sun."

"You know what cheers me up when I'm feeling down? This picture of a bulldog staring at the sun."

 

[ravenclaw_equestrian]

"In times of crisis like this I should really go buy some peanut butter"

but you can’t even do that because of the jif recall…

 

[-Blue-]

I'll tell you why your license is taking so long. The U.S. Postal Service is bogged down in the most elaborate sci-ops campaign in history. First they fatten us up with all those 2-for-1 pizza coupons, then when we're too logy to put up a fight, they sell us off to the Red Cross, who removes our kidneys, which go back on the pizzas to start the process all over again.

Did you mean for all those words to come out together. Or did they just fall out randomly?

 

[BakaRina]

"I know archaic Latin."
"You know archaic Latin?"
"I got bored with classical Latin."

 

[BakaRina]

"I’m scared of bees."
"Eventually every letter of the alphabet will terrify you."

 

[Midoriya]

"Implying there was a car Jesus also raises the issue of other aspects of history. Was there a car Hitler? Was the Hindenburg blimp alive? Was Stalin a car? Was JFK a car that got assassinated in another car? How do any of these things register as valid thoughts?!?!"

 

[VanitasFan26]

"I did nothing. The pavement was his enemy"

 

[Shellzilla_515]

"Into the pits, we must go. E I E I E I O!"
"Are they putting the dries on? OH, THEY'RE PUTTING THE DRIES ON!"
"Ben, do you have damage? Damage, do you have Ben?"

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"And I said oooooooooh, I'm blinded by Beef Boss. Oh, I can't sleep un-til I see his buns." -Poofesure

 

[VanitasFan26]

“Here’s your Sub-Zero… now plain zero.”

 

[BakaRina]

"According to scientist at Harvard, hair is the thinnest thing in the world."
"They obviously haven't seen my patience."