The out of context quotes thread

Okay, when I call your name, you say “present” or “here.” “Anita Bath?”

*everyone starts laughing*

All right, settle down, Anita Bath here?

*everyone laughs*

All right, fine. “Maya Buttreeks.”

*everyone laughs*

Hey, what are you laughing at? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It’s my big ears, isn’t it? Well, children, I can’t help that! *runs away crying*
 
“I heard what had happened. How’s Lucy?”
“Well her head fell off in the ambulance but the doctors spent all night sewing it back on so the prognosis is good.”
“What happened to her?”
“Some idiot threw a penny off of the Empire State Building.”
“Crud! Princeton, why didn’t you call me and tell me you weren’t coming?”
“What do you mean?”
“I said in the note that I left with Lu- Huh. I suddenly feel better now!”
 
"You have a whole planet sitting around making your power for you?! That's slavery!"

"It's society. They work for each other, Morty. They pay each other, they buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power. "

"That just sounds like slavery with extra steps."

(sarcastically) "Ooh-la-la, someone's gonna get laid in college."
 
(note: this is taken from the DDLC mod DDLC: Abridged, where everything goes extremely wrong. This is an example of the dialog from the mod)
HOW IS THAT CHILD MINE? -MC
Yuri ate your foot. -Natsuki
THAT"S WHERE IT WENT?! -MC
He's all yours! Genetic testing will confirm it! -Yuri
 
'OK sir, you're free to go.'
'Good, cuz I got a hot date tonight' *BZZT*
'A date.' *BZZT*
'Dinner with friend.' *BZZT*
'Dinner alone.' *BZZT*
'Watching TV alone.' *BZZT*
'ALRIGHT!!! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the women in the Victoria's Secret catalog.' *BZZT*
'...Sears catalog.' *DING*
'Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!' *BZZT*
 
'OK sir, you're free to go.'
'Good, cuz I got a hot date tonight' *BZZT*
'A date.' *BZZT*
'Dinner with friend.' *BZZT*
'Dinner alone.' *BZZT*
'Watching TV alone.' *BZZT*
'ALRIGHT!!! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the women in the Victoria's Secret catalog.' *BZZT*
'...Sears catalog.' *DING*
'Now would you unhook this already, please? I don't deserve this kind of shabby treatment!' *BZZT*
Wow, I was actually going to add this quote, what are the chances?
 
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