The out of context quotes thread

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Under the sea. Under the sea. There’d be no accusations. Just friendly crustaceans! Under the seeeeeeeeeeea!”

“Homer, that’s your solution to everything, to move under the sea! It’s not going to happen!”

“Pffft! Not with that attitude.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“If they wanted to harm us, they would have. Besides this elixir has such a pretty color.”
“So does toilet bowl cleaner. You gonna chug a glass of that next?”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“WHO’S GIVING OUT FREE DUMMIES AROUND HERE?! I swear to god if it’s that Mormon kid….”

 

[Yoshi155]

I can’t keep running people over! I’m not famous enough to get away with it!

 

[Yoshi155]

Just relax, Bender. Tomorrow, we’ll pry you down, have a nice breakfast, and then go hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil.

It’ll be a rich, full day.

 

[ZeldaCrossing64]

"And now, the blackest present for the most brutal of all bass players..."

*A spotlight shines on a present box and it opens, revealing to be empty*

"NOOOTHIIING!"

"Oh, you suck! You all suck!" *He storms out of the room*

"Hey, fatso! We got your favorite thing: Disappointment!"

 

[Yoshi155]

Oh, no! He’s going over the falls!

Oh, good. He snagged the tree branch.

Oh, no! The branch broke off!

Oh, good! He can grab onto them pointy rocks.

Oh, no! Them rocks broke his arms and legs!

Oh, good! Those helpful beavers are swimming out to save him.

Oh, no! They’re biting him and stealing his pants!

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

*Milo carves “Boxy” on turtle’s stomach*
“Boxy and I will be best friends forever!”
“Remember honey, nothing lives forever. But when he croaks I can turn him into a neat ashtray.”
“Hehehe! My little Martha Stewart.”
*Bob hits something with the car and everyone gets out to find an injured dog*
“It’s a little Scottie!”
“Can I keep him? I promise to take good care of him.”
“What about Boxy?”
*Milo tosses Boxy over his shoulder*
“He ran away.”

 

[QueenCobra]

“Why are you so sweaty?”
“I was watching Cops.”

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Say another word and you’ll be the fastest man alive with a limp!”

 

[Yoshi155]

You were a rotten wife, and I’ll never, ever forgive you! …can we have sex? Please?

Oh, Abe.

Well, I tried. What’s for supper?

 

[Captain Jigglypuff]

“Dawn Budgie? That’s a terrible name!”

 

[Yoshi155]

Freeze. FBI. The jig is up.

All right, I admit it! I am the Lindbergh baby! Wah-wah! Goo goo! I miss my fly-fly da-da!

Are you trying to stall us or are you just senile?

A little from column a, a little from column b.

 

[Yoshi155]

That Sideshow Mel thinks he’s so big. Whatever happened to Sideshow Bob?

Don’t you remember, Dad? He framed Krusty. He tried to kill Aunt Selma. He rigged an election.

And he tried to murder me!

Oh, yeah. But what I’ll mainly remember is the laughter.

 

[QueenCobra]

“She takes one look at me and goes, ‘Oh my God, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf,’ and she grabs me by the wiener.…”

 

[You got mail!]

“I was in a computer game. Funny as hell, it was the most horrible thing I could think of.”

 

[Mr.Fox]

He tried to kill Aunt Selma.

And then I go and spoil it all by doing something stupid like explode you

 

[Midoriya]

"FOUL BEAST, I, SPAWN, THE SUPERHERO FROM HELL, WILL DEFEAT YOU!"

"RAHHHHH!! NEVER! THE WORLD OF MAN WILL BE CRUSHED UNDER THE MARCH OF MY HELLISH ARMY!"

"AHHHH! LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!" *takes out a violin and starts playing a dainty tune*

*a bunch of hellish imps come out and start singing*

"Big in the 90s, Spawn, Spawn, Spawn!"

"Created by a guy named McFarlane!"

"Had his own show on HBO!"

"Did the plot make sense? No, no, no!"

*Spawn finishes his dainty tune*

"RAHHHHH!!!" *Malebolgia takes out a violin and plays an ear-grating tune that doesn't sound good*

*but for some reason unknown to mankind all of the hellish imps start cheering*

"Malebolgia wins! Yeah, Malebolgia totally wins!"

"WUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTT?!?"

*Spawn now tied up to be punished*

"Ohhh.... when do we get a bathroom break?!?"

 

[Yoshi155]

Our city will not negotiate with terrorists! Is there a city nearby that will?

 

[SkyKnight03]

That's just fancy talk. If you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up, like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are.