The out of context quotes thread

“Hey Morbidly Obese Albert! Do you want to buy some chocolate?”
“Can’t have any chocolate. Doctor said he will have to take my foot on the account of my diabetes.”
“Look on the bright side, you’ll get all your shoes half off!”
“Ha ha ha! Okay, I’ll have some.”
*Morbidly Obese Albert grabs all of the chocolate in the box with his hand all at the same time and shoves them into his mouth*
 
Mom has made so many sacrifices for us that it’s time we give up something for her. I’ll stop buying Malibu Stacy clothing.

And I’ll take up smoking and give that up.

Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. Have a dollar.

But he didn’t do anything.

Didn’t he, Lisa? Didn’t he? …hey, wait a minute, he didn’t! *snatches back the dollar*
 
I can’t get enough of this blood pudding.

The secret ingredient is blood.

Blood? Ew. I’ll just stick to the brain and kidney pie, thank you.
 
“Oh boy! It’s time for lunch! I hope the airplane has something yummy for us! Here comes the lady now!”
*Red Guy dressed as a stewardess is slowly pushing a meal cart down the aisle as elevator music plays*
“She’s coming closer!”
*Red Guy is still far away*
“Closer!”
*Red Guy has barely moved from the starting point*
“Closer!”
*Red Guy is still far away*
“She’s almost here!”
*Red Guy still is far away with the cart*
“She’s here!”
*Red Guy suddenly pops up in between Cow and Chicken’s seats*
“Lunch is served!”
*Puts down a foil covered tray in front of Chicken*
“Today’s special is owl.”
*Pulls off the foil revealing a frozen shivering owl that has icicles on its body on the tray*
“H-h-h-hoot….”
 
Have you robot versions of you guys seen any extra Zoidbergs around here?

Negative. Will you go out with me?

Uh, access denied.

*robot Fry’s head explodes*
 
Why is that mirror sneezing?

Uh, look, it’s just an old, creaky mirror. You know, sometimes it sounds a little like it’s sneezing or coughing or talking softly.
 
The children of the Valley need the Good Book and what’s inside!”
*Holds up a Bible before laying it down and opening it up to reveal a gun hidden inside the Bible. Mrs Hubbard then takes it out and holds it up in the air*
“Behold the peace of God!”
*Gun suddenly goes off and everyone present at the meeting flinches*
“Sorry.”
*The Oblongs are are watching everything from their tv and everyone but Bob are in shock*
“I have a good feeling about this Mrs Hubbard.”
 
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